this is important question

ChicagoBlue2 said:
There are many variables for getting such a thing, but that's a decision to not be made lightly, unless the children and the mother are at significant risk of harm, then yes, it would be necessary, but still-- getting an RO is not an easy thing to do.
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Head desk


Exactly, getting then is not an easy thing to do, locking a bedroom door would be laughed out of court.
 
A Nihilist said:
Wait, I gotta wonder, how does ChicagoBlue know so much about restraining orders? :eek3:
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And FYI, that's not all I know a bunch about. You'll find out more about me in good time, and when the opportunity presents itself. Until then..........
 
In my opinion better remove lock on door like here no lock on my bedroom door and other room same thing only my parents' bedroom have lock and both bathroom have locks so if the boyfriend don't understand that mother or young child accidentally locked herself or himself? If that happens I suggest get a lock that have key so u can open door :) but as far I know I am being neutral want to make a suggestion that is all I can say :)


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rockin'robin said:
Restraining order....since the boyfriend has not abused the woman ....and if the boyfriend is paying some of the bills....She might have to evict him if he won't leave peacefully.....and that takes "time"....Don't feel the police is gonna waste much time with this issue....

Plus, if the lady wants him out of her house...then sleep on the sofa or with the kids until he is evicted....

Just because someone "won't listen"...it's not domestic abuse....if the couple can't settle it themselves...then it might be best for them to move on.
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RO are only given when there been a case of abuse or treat against a person life. The mother could have new locks put in dump the guy stuff outside.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
RO are only given when there been a case of abuse or treat against a person life. The mother could have new locks put in dump the guy stuff outside.
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Yes. Only in extreme cases will a judge grant a RO, but otherwise the woman will get a TRO, which is only temporary, until things have been settled. She'll have to evict the guy, and tell him to get lost, unless she has proof of child abuse.
 
Reba said:
A mother with young children should not have a boyfriend move into the house.
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That for me would have to depend on a lot of things. How long have I been dating said boyfriend? Do we plan to spend the rest of our lives together?

But as others have said, the real issue is the lack of respect this guy has for his girlfriend's wishes, especially as they pertain to her children. They need to sit down and have a very serious talk and if he can't agree with her she needs to boot him. I honestly would boot him anyway, because if he's immature enough to not respect something like this, I would have a hard time trusting him to respect my kids, let alone my wishes and the kids come first.
 
Eater of Worlds said:
That for me would have to depend on a lot of things. How long have I been dating said boyfriend? Do we plan to spend the rest of our lives together?

But as others have said, the real issue is the lack of respect this guy has for his girlfriend's wishes, especially as they pertain to her children. They need to sit down and have a very serious talk and if he can't agree with her she needs to boot him. I honestly would boot him anyway, because if he's immature enough to not respect something like this, I would have a hard time trusting him to respect my kids, let alone my wishes and the kids come first.
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These issues should have been resolved before he moved in. It's a lot harder now to get him out.

The woman was really taking chances with her children by allowing a guy to move into their home without having established house rules with him. It sounds like they didn't even have good communication or understanding of each other the begin with. It's almost like she allowed a stranger into the home.

The news is full of stories about live-in boyfriends (especially ones who aren't the children's fathers) who abuse and kill the kids. It's a risky scenario.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
RO are only given when there been a case of abuse or treat against a person life. The mother could have new locks put in dump the guy stuff outside.
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That's tricky...if the guy is paying some of the bills...then by law he has a right to live there. If the Lady dumps his stuff outside and it gets stolen or damaged, he can take her to Court....And if the guy is on the Lease....then the Lady has to have a damn good reason to want him evicted (by Law)...."Forgetting to unlock the door"...the Court is gonna laugh this out to the street.

Short story is:...be careful of who you let live with you.....
 
Domestic violence is alive and well in the deaf community.
Like in Frederick for example


Reba said:
These issues should have been resolved before he moved in. It's a lot harder now to get him out.

The woman was really taking chances with her children by allowing a guy to move into their home without having established house rules with him. It sounds like they didn't even have good communication or understanding of each other the begin with. It's almost like she allowed a stranger into the home.

The news is full of stories about live-in boyfriends (especially ones who aren't the children's fathers) who abuse and kill the kids. It's a risky scenario.
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need to be more specfic i missing something, the ages of them all and sometimes boys dont want mothers around when in the bedroom...my brain not in gear so not quite understand
 
caz12 said:
need to be more specfic i missing something, the ages of them all and sometimes boys dont want mothers around when in the bedroom...my brain not in gear so not quite understand
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I think the boyfriend wants to lock the grownups' bedgroom door, to keep the children out. I don't think the boyfriend wants to lock the children in their bedrooms. Most bedroom doors lock from the inside anyway.

It is confusing, for sure.
 
i would not want my bedroom door open keep kids out but if kids given boundary lines she should not have problem as long as all safty protacols in place....i think disaplin is for her to look at carefully..if boyfriend is locking himself in bedroom with kids then get cops..maybe parenting lessons good idea
 
Feel there is a lot more to this story than the OP said....All parents make little mistakes here and there....And perhaps the OP is trying to find something to remove the children from the home ?????...Child custody case?....

If both of the adults were in the bedroom with the door locked...over and over...then surely all the Mother had to do was unlock it...even post a sign on the bedroom door...."Do Not Lock!"....in case the boyfriend is so absent-minded....or just won't listen....and stay out of the bedroom to supervise the children while they are at home.....So I do feel the Mother is at fault here also....

Taking a nap or even having sex while small children are at home is very risky....
 
Parents are deaf, that's worse in real emergencies.


They need to train the kid to bother them only when its a real emergency. Locking door while undressing and having sex would be okay however to unlock when businesses are done is common sense.


Don't blame the guy if kid is super needy n annoying n have mommy attachment issues


Or get a dog, if one dont mind the dog watching them doing the deed.
 
ambrosia said:
Actually if I'm showering I usually don't lock it, they can hear if the water is running, if it's running them I'm IN the shower, they can come in and get something pee or whatever. After it's stopped running then I'm out and might be standing in the middle the room nekid and they know not to come in. Anything else she can wait a minute. My kids are 15 and 13 not 3 and 5.
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I did not know how old your kids where. I thought they where younger .
 
Again WOW with all the comments. Well the door issue has been resolved i gave him a warning, and if he continues it will be a consqueseal issue, since that has been resolved theres been more issue both the boyfriend and the youngest kid do not get along at all and the mother is stuck in the middle but its the love as she says outweighing it all and several poeple have told her to put the kids first... so its been on going nothing we can do until i can get more evidence and i actually do have some.
 
javapride said:
Again WOW with all the comments. Well the door issue has been resolved i gave him a warning, and if he continues it will be a consqueseal issue, since that has been resolved theres been more issue both the boyfriend and the youngest kid do not get along at all and the mother is stuck in the middle but its the love as she says outweighing it all and several poeple have told her to put the kids first... so its been on going nothing we can do until i can get more evidence and i actually do have some.
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Please do give clarification. If I am not mistaken, the boyfriend has been locking the mother's bedroom door when the mother clearly told him not to (which blocks her children's access to the bedroom). I don't see this (scenario #1) as a case of child abuse.

If the boyfriend has been locking the children in the children's bedrooms (as such to the point where the children cannot get out to use the bathroom, eat, et cetera for a lengthy period of time) then that (scenario #2) is a clear case of child abuse.

There's a distinct difference between both scenarios. I understand child abuse shouldn't be taken lightly but please do not jump to conclusions when you don't have knowledge of the full situation. The boyfriend's angry reaction at the mother's request not to lock the door is definitely something to keep an eye on, though.
 
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