The End of Patriarchy?

[Vance]

Before anyone ask me what does Patriarchy means, here's dictionary.com's definition:

1. A social system in which the father is the head of the family and men have authority over women and children.
2. A family, community, or society based on this system or governed by men.

I read this book: The End of Patriarchy: And the Dawning of a Tri-Une Society and it is truly amazing... It took me a while to finish reading this book because of its critical thinking challenge but it got me thinking... I had a discussion with Meg last night about 'man as the head of the family' issue. I never agree with that old philosophy. I believe I stated somewhere that husband and wife have to work together to make the relationship/family work, not this attitude, "I am a head of this family and I make a decision, that's final!" or "authority over women and children" stuff. But this book revealed something new about family relationship that hit me hard.

Dr. Naranjo (author of The End of Patriarchy) states that child(ren) should be involved in this decision matter about any family issues. Not only parents but child(ren) too. Certain Native Americans tribes practiced that kind of philosophy as well. I personally like it. Well, it is difficult for me to explain about what he said in this book with the public who didn't read Dr. Naranjo's The End of Patriarchy. I can't recommend this book highly enough for anyone to read but warning, it requires lot of critical thinking. I think I will read this book not just once, but once a year.

Anyway I strongly believe in 'Tri-une', a philosophy which means work with wife/girlfriend/lover and child(ren) to make the decisions about family matters. I personally never believe in Patriarchy-philosophy but unsure how to form the ideas in my head about family issue until now.

I am curious what you do think of Patriarchy and Tri-une? Do you have these problems, experiences, opinions, beliefs or concerns about patriarchy issue? I also would love to hear from both men and women's opinion on this subject.

Whenever I have a family (Nas loved this idea) and I would adopt this new philosophy of family society -- Tri-une to see how it is.

Note: Defintion of Tri-une is quite interesting... let me paste what dictionary.com's define of Tri-une: Being three in one. Used especially of the Christian Trinity.

Come to think of it, it made sense... Father - one, mother - one, and child(ren) - literally one equal to being three in one and voila, Trinity.

 

[Vance]

Oop, I realized that I forget one important thing in my post.. I sincerely apologize for that. Tri-une can be different meaning in different case.. Like.. Woman - one, other woman - one and child(ren) - literally one.... or Man - one, other man - one and child(ren) - literally one equal to being three in one and voila, Trinity.

Sorry about that, people.

 

[Reba]

I believe that God set up the family as a patriarchy. That does not mean, "I am a head of this family and I make a decision, that's final!" attitude.

I also believe that today's men in America and Europe are becoming weaker in their leadership roles.

I also believe that people confuse strong leadership with cruel dictatorship. Those are not the same thing.

 

[Codger]

Very interesting and thought provoking. I have read several studies on the breakdown of the traditional family, mosty here in America. A lot of them focused on the growing increase in matriarchal families. You mentioned the Native American cultures, and I know that many of them were matriarchal in that the women owned all the property (shelter, tools, etc.) and the men owned only their weapons and totems. The tribal leadership was also Matriarchal in some tribes, and some times shared by men and women. But in nearly every case, only one, either the father or mother, led the family unit.

I believe in including children in SOME of the family decisions, but not nearly all. They seldom are mature enough to make intellegent choices, or understand the ramifications of poor choices. For a younger child, it is not even wise to give them a choice of clothing in the morning. They will either wear the same thing every day, dress like a clown, or not choose at all.

I have seen families fail because there was no leadership. And also because of shared leadership, I have seen failures. Imagine two or even three Presidents. And one of them a child. All with shared power to determine the direction the country will take.

I'll try to find that book though. It sounds interesting.

 

[Reba]

I should have said that I believe all family members can have input into decision-making process but someone (preferably the dad, if present) must make the final decision.

And for kids choosing their clothes; isn't that why God created Garanimals? (just kidding)

 

[Codger]

I believe that God set up the family as a patriarchy. That does not mean, "I am a head of this family and I make a decision, that's final!" attitude.

I also believe that today's men in America and Europe are becoming weaker in their leadership roles.

I also believe that people confuse strong leadership with cruel dictatorship. Those are not the same thing.

I agree wholeheartedly. Of course we are apparently from the same generation. Leadership (not dictatorship) by the traditional provider/protector, and participation by the nurturer/child rearer is the traditional structure, and works well in most cases. Sometimes the roles are reversed (male/female) (as you pointed out) but the same structure remains. I also believe that children are in no way prepared to step into a shared leadership role. That does not mean that their views and preferences are to be totally ignored in decision making, anymore than the non leader mother or father's opinions and preferences.

Garanamals? Hahahaha! I think those were created by Ms. Necessity, she after all is the mother of Invention. Evidently, he was a hard child to dress!