the dreaded...house party

lovezebras

lovezebras

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So last weekend I went to a house party...what a flop. lol

There were around 50-70 people there throughout the night in a small/med sized house..

I wanted to pull my hair out! Lol Not only did I only know like 6 people (not very well) I couldn't follow a convo to save my life! At one point I was sitting down in the dining room (there were only a few people there) and my bf was like why aren't you socializing? ummm well to socialize it's better to know people ...I was getting such dirty looks from some of the girls who I didn't know and were a bit younger than me. Also since I couldn't socialize with anyone or really follow a conversation I wasn't really in the mood to drink. My bf on the other hand knew SO many people and was with the guys a lot. He was a bit upset that I wasn't more lively/enjoying myself but it's hard to explain to someone who A. knows people and B. can hear fine in such a LOUD, noisy, and busy setting.

Needless to say I would much rather go to a club where I can dance and enjoy myself and drink. At least I know that I won't know people and I can go with a SMALL group of friends to a bar and dance the night away. That's my idea of a good time...

damn house parties
 
Why were you not socializing more at the party? If my hearing date asked me this question, I would think that they are flat out idiot. What a stupid question.

Hope you enjoyed the party. Do you know if anyone at the party was talking about cars with turbo engine? If yes, then the party was probably worth it. If not, then no.
 
I'm hearing but that kind of party would make me uncomfortable, too. I much prefer sitting in a quiet corner with only one or two other people than being in the midst of a mob.

Hubby knows that's how I am, and is fine with that. If I go to a party and just chill, or wander around looking at the host's artwork, or enjoying the view from a window, it's no big deal. I can enjoy the snacks better if I don't have to converse while I'm eating. :D

As long as you smile and nod at people passing by, greet and say farewell to the hosts, and compliment the house, host, and food, you've done your duty.
 
I wasn't socializing more because I literally couldn't hear anything it was just way too loud. I had to take my hearing aids out cuz i was getting such a bad headache. Also, like I said I was getting a LOT of dirty looks from the girls who didn't know me at the party so I wasn't about to try and go strike up a convo and look like a bitch when saying what? sorry can you repeat that? ...would have made the situation so much worse...
 
lovezebras said:
I wasn't socializing more because I literally couldn't hear anything it was just way too loud. I had to take my hearing aids out cuz i was getting such a bad headache. Also, like I said I was getting a LOT of dirty looks from the girls who didn't know me at the party so I wasn't about to try and go strike up a convo and look like a bitch when saying what? sorry can you repeat that? ...would have made the situation so much worse...
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Seems like a very unfriendly party anyway when you were getting dirty looks.

I would ask your boyfriend not to attend parties where people behaved like that.
 
lovezebras said:
I wasn't socializing more because I literally couldn't hear anything it was just way too loud. I had to take my hearing aids out cuz i was getting such a bad headache. Also, like I said I was getting a LOT of dirty looks from the girls who didn't know me at the party so I wasn't about to try and go strike up a convo and look like a bitch when saying what? sorry can you repeat that? ...would have made the situation so much worse...
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These don't seem like nice people with whom to interact anyway. Was this a work-related required social function? Otherwise, I don't understand what the attraction was for the two of you to attend. Did they at least serve outstanding hors d' oeuvres?
 
Reba said:
These don't seem like nice people with whom to interact anyway. Was this a work-related required social function? Otherwise, I don't understand what the attraction was for the two of you to attend. Did they at least serve outstanding hors d' oeuvres?
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I'm going to guess no, it sounds like a college frat party to me.

I'm not surprised you didn't enjoy yourself, I'd have a hard time too, I think most of us would. I probably would have gotten my drink on and had many many monologues :giggle:
 
Those are tough situations. I avoid them but am trapped into it now and then. I tend to follow Reba's method and move in on the food. If someone says something no matter what- I won't know what they are saying anyway- I say,"good food" and eat some more. Even if it is bad food. Then I venture out and venture back to the food, stay on the move. To the food away from the food.
 
This is a relationship, take the good with the bad. As a far as drinking goes, you choose not to drink, it's not like you couldn't.

In my opinion, I think you should take a trip to Boston and order a large size serving of, "I don't give a f8(k what other people think". You'd be amazed how effective it can be.
 
So you know what it's like for me, which is why I don't go out to parties like that much. Even if I were debt free... Too many people, and I don't understand much of anything. I have thought of moving back out into the country as soon as I can afford it, possibly in Northeast Texas or just south of that. The idea is to GET OUT and get back to my roots (which is really south Texas, but business may lead me up there instead).
 
It was a joint birthday party that my boyfriends friends threw. It was 3 of their bdays so they had a joint bday cuz one of the guys' parents were gone. No hors d'oeuvres ...lol but they had like snack foods and one of the guys parents owns a deli/italian lil resto and two are chefs so they had some foods for some ppl after the party...like close friends so I had some pasta and my bf helped clean up a bit after too when almost everyone was gone. It was important for my bf to go cuz he really wanted to hang out with his friends before he went back home so I didn't wanna ruin it by not going or not wanting to go. Even the host of the party was a bit overwhelmed with how many people ended up showing up so it wasn't just me haha

Next time tho I won't go to a big party unless its smaller and I know more people or maybe I can invite a girlfriend of mine so that I'm not alone in the corner. Maybe by the next big bash I'll have another ASL fluent friend and we can have our own private convo! lol :)

I was drinking but then it just didn't get fun because I had no one to drink with kinda thing ...it was more fun when there wasn't as many people and we were playing a drinking game but then it just got over crowded and I couldn't even get to the makeshift bar to get my drink so I gave up. I also don't give a f what other people think lol which is why I didn't care to socialize with the girls who were giving me dirty looks or let it bother me...my bf's friends kept saying the girls were intimidated by me because I was getting a lot of attention by mostly the guys at the party and my bf was getting a lot of attention from his friends with compliments on how nice and pretty I was and that the other girls didn't like it.

This is why I have such a small group of girl friends...some girls can be so catty and dramatic which I don't really like. Save the drama for your momma as they say...lol

The only good part of the night was that my bf still was respectful that he needed to divide his time between me and his friends and stayed with me often and if I missed something he'd tell me what someone said. And his friend, the host of the party, kept asking me if I was ok and if I needed anything :) So at least some people were considerate!
 
I agree small groups are better, but you have to share experiences with your SO. You can't just setup things to your benefit only. And, you certainly can't do all the work in the relationship.

There are times you have to be in those situations because those are situations your SO likes and you can't take that away.

If your SO is cool with you not going to the big parties, fine, but just remember you can't hold this against anyone.
 
R U shy?
I sort of get you, because i hate situations when i am thrown into a group of pple I don't know, too.
Mind you, I am always the only one with hearing problem nobody knows about,
so i get weird looks, too.

So what I do - I approach pple first to take the control of the conversation -this way I know what is being said.
- and I start talking about visuals.
"hi, what i nice ....... (whatever shit are they wearing i.e. jewelery, shoes, shawl, glasses etc) you have. is it
-hand made?
- xyxzmd brand?
-from zyznd store?
- it fits you so well! (even if it's total bullshit)
and so on....

then I proceed onto logically following subject - are you into fashion/antiques/
jewelry making/ etc etc and unless I am really unlucky and happened upon
stupido who can not support conversation, we will have a nice time talking.
Just look around the room. you can talk abut music (so loud, you like it, you love other bands, -try to exhaust the subject before you move onto another,
you also love movies, you also love to read... see?) ,
don't be negative. smile a lot.

If the person turns out a stupido, I make my exit - nice talking to you, cu around, smile wave.
Move onto another. hopefully more intelligent.

Fuzzy
 
Oh my boyfriend and I are very open. I'm definitely not hindering his "bro time" or making him not go to social gatherings just cuz I'm a bit uncomfortable...I always try my best in these situations, I ca be a social butterfly but the amount of anxiety and frustration I get out of it just isn't worth it sometimes ya know?

Audiofuzzy- I'm a bit shy but I have an anxiety disorder and when I meet someone usually for the first time I like it being in a small group not around 70 people. I jut feel so vulnerable and I can't help that. I am great in smaller groups make convo, jokes, etc. and all my BFs friends love me because of that but this party half the people I would neverrrrr ever see again because they weren't people that my bf and BFs friends hang out with on a regular basis. Most of the people were I invited by friends of friends and that's how the party got so big. So I don't feel bad for not socializing more to be honest.

I literally was more flustered at the fact that I couldn't even follow a conversation if I wanted to. I also don't hold anything against anyone. If my boyfriend wants to go to a party without me that I choose not to go to because of the situation I won't be mad. He would prob be more upset about it than me. But I also don't think it's fair for me to always lump myself into a situation where I KNOW I can't communicate well.
 
Oh I see. anxiety disorder is different.
certain tricks help. For example, if you are able to mentally convince yourself
you are in a small group - in a way, you are if you are talking to a person or two :)
while amongst sea of 70. Just blank out everybody, everything else if you can.

Fuzzy
 
Gosh, I haven't go e to a house party in soo long. Last time was when I was a Gallaudet student in the early 2000s and I was in my late 20s! That was when I split up with my ex hubby and making up for lost time. Some were fun while others were just too childish for me.

Now, I just prefer small gatherings with my friends or going to bars/nightclubs with my hubby or friends. I still enjoy a night of dancing all night every now and then. Probably like less than 5 times a year.

In my early 20s , I hit the club scene every weekend but rarely went to house parties. I preferred to dance than just chat and be left out.
 
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