Thanksgiving Day tips

glickchick

Member
Hey everyone,

So tomorrow will be my first Thanksgiving since losing my hearing, and I am somewhat nervous about being totally left out and isolated from everything. It's going to be the first time I've seen some of my cousins and relatives since I went deaf, and I don't really know what to expect. I mean, I know how I've come to deal with it in social settings, but for some reason, I'm a little uptight about being the "new deaf girl" on Thanksgiving.

Any tips? How have you guys dealt with this?

-Lauren
 

whatdidyousay!

Well-Known Member
I would made sure to sit at the table so you can see everyone faces , do not sit at the a corner it will be harder to read lips if you need to.
 

saywhatkid

Huked on fonix werx!
Premium Member
This will be a shocking time for your family, as they adjust to the "new" you. All parties need patience as you search for new ways to overcome the communication obstacles your sudden deafness will create. Since you are the one that is physically unable to participate using their language, they will all need to work with you. I suspect they will try their best, but am also concerned that you will learn a phrase most of us are familiar with: "Nevermind. I will tell you later." Even though it is difficult, these people will be in your life for a long long time. They must adapt, or risk alienating you at family functions. This, in turn, will make you reluctant to attend these things, or you will go in with a "here we go again" attitude. Neither is good for you or your family. You must be patient with them, but stand your ground and insist on being involved.
 

zerodog

New Member
they may made you mad or upsetting because of 'left out', so naturally for community adopt that isolated from family who is hearing and doesn't signing. At the ending, we have people as friend are like family in Deaf Culture. It will always stay that way at being there for all of us who doesn't want stay or stick being isolated.

A 'lucky' person who family do sign all time. As we continue to keep aware for next deaf children that we doesn't want them experience the "isolated".

The family may new to person/ family member who is deaf. I am doing school project relate with deafness as you aren't sure what to expect as I am sure family aren't sure what to expect. They may be uptight too. It would nice have technology interpreter device on side where there no barrier communicate 'FOREVER'. It just all about 'aware' of Deaf in their family. It would be nice commercial on tv all language and instead just caption and depend on caption.

Back to that...

Just do your best, if that upset. Let your parent aware about that you are upset. My parents say... just butt in and do being in. If you are wonder, ask them. Don't being 'back' down or stand in the corner. The more you do and there will plenty to break ice on them and being easy on you. So they will know how to communicate and once they realized that writing paper is waste time, that where they could like to learn sign language, basic. From there they will probably asked you whats sign for and so on that where they could more communicate and then forward they will be sure you aren't left out. That what I could give tip and encourage everyone being BUTT IN! Nothing wrong being butt in around family.. but at general where stranger aren't family... probably not unless you want being their friendship.

Just don't being in corner! :D
 

zerodog

New Member
You must be patient with them, but stand your ground and insist on being involved.

About patient, as today I met several people who is teenager as they learns from us. At their end, they think thats enough and no longer patient with attitude.

Right now I am adult, if they don't talk to us or depend on me interpreter to my wife that time we were dating. We left middle of dinner table as I have warn them to use sign or paper write to communicate my wife (girlfriend). After we left that where all flash got their attention and afterward they communicate my wife with paper or sign as 'home sign'. So far, my wife thankful to have my family compare her family. She has deaf brother and family doesn't sign just her parent and one of aunt.
 

mbrek

Active Member
Premium Member
I may be in way over my head here (only HoH), but as unfair as it seems - you might have to be the one to make the extra effort. Let them know you're still - you. Your relatives might be unsure of how to approach you, so make sure you approach them. It might seem easier to go off into your own little corner out of frustration, but do not isolate yourself from your family. They'll need time to adjust, too.
 

SneakerNet

Retired
Premium Member
Glickchick, I'm curious, do you have smartphone?

Secondly, I love being left out, since they all understand that I'm deaf so I can have time alone to myself playing Call of Duty: MW3 on my laptop!! <grin>
 

sallylou

Potterhead and Janeite
Premium Member
Sneakernet, that was my 1st thought, too. You can bet that I'll have my smart phone tomorrow! lol
 

SneakerNet

Retired
Premium Member
Sneakernet, that was my 1st thought, too. You can bet that I'll have my smart phone tomorrow! lol

Smile, I'm just want to know if she have smartphone, like Android or iPhone. I thought it might help if she download Dragon Dictation. Whenever she run into difficulty trying to figure out what he or she saying, she can use this Dragon to "printed" for her.
 

sallylou

Potterhead and Janeite
Premium Member
Oh. My inlaws are just boring. Did I just say that out loud? lol

I have a free app like that. The voice recognition isn't perfect but it's usually good enough to follow a train of thought.
 

glickchick

Member
Thanks everyone. I appreciate the thoughts. My plan is to do my best to lip read, and to just keep my pad and pen close by, along with my iPhone so we can maybe text back and forth if needed. That's how I seem to be managing best with my friends and such, so I guess it will work here too. I know that my deafness is very much a change for them too, and that we'll all have to work on adjusting. I'll let you know how it goes. Happy turkey day to everyone!

-Lauren
 

SneakerNet

Retired
Premium Member
Oh. My inlaws are just boring. Did I just say that out loud? lol

I have a free app like that. The voice recognition isn't perfect but it's usually good enough to follow a train of thought.

Right, not only voice recognition isn't perfect but sometime it's hilarious to read what it says, just like Damn You Autocorrect! I use it once a while when I don't understand what that person is saying so I pulled out my dictation and I asked them to repeat it. Once you read it..but you'll able to figure out easily of what that person saying.
 

glickchick

Member
Hey everyone,

Hope you had a great holiday!

Thanksgiving went well - better than expected. While there were definitely some real challenges in terms of communication, we worked thru them together. For the most part, I tried to read lips, but it was difficult - so the pad/pen became a lifesaver. Not the most efficient way to communicate but it got the job done. There were definitely times where I felt completely out of the loop, but I guess that's to be expected so early into my new life.
One thing that was funny was the amount of extra, unneeded "hello" waves that I got. I guess that's a universal sign that everyone understands! I think I must have gotten like 20 extra hellos throughout the evening!

ANyway, just wanted to give you an update. Hope everyone ate way too much!

-Lauren
 

SneakerNet

Retired
Premium Member
Hey everyone,

Hope you had a great holiday!

Thanksgiving went well - better than expected. While there were definitely some real challenges in terms of communication, we worked thru them together. For the most part, I tried to read lips, but it was difficult - so the pad/pen became a lifesaver. Not the most efficient way to communicate but it got the job done. There were definitely times where I felt completely out of the loop, but I guess that's to be expected so early into my new life.
One thing that was funny was the amount of extra, unneeded "hello" waves that I got. I guess that's a universal sign that everyone understands! I think I must have gotten like 20 extra hellos throughout the evening!

ANyway, just wanted to give you an update. Hope everyone ate way too much!

-Lauren

Glad to "deaf" that! Mmm... sound not right... Ok.. Glad to hear that! It will take time to adjust figuring out what is the best way with your family social life. Now Christmas is comming soon!
 

Frisky Feline

Well-Known Member
I think you have a good sport and are a tougie cookie girl. Glad to hear that you are doing and hanging in there well. Keep up with what you are doing your best to adjust to new things and new everything.

oh boy christmas is on the way. lol
 

Bottesini

Old Deaf Ranter
Premium Member
At Christmas ask for electronics. I have so many toys that go with me when I must go to large family functions.

I am more entertained than anybody else there.
 
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