Stupid question

Ruliya

New Member
Joined
Aug 11, 2006
Messages
83
Reaction score
0
I'm a hearing person and I have a stupid question I'd like to ask. The thread has presumably been done to death but I wonder what does being deaf feel like? It's incomprehensive for me to picture how it feels like. I hope I didn't offend any deaf members around here.

As I mentioned in my thread, I'm outrightly new to ASL and deaf culture.
 
let's do a switch-a-roo on this table--

Can YOU tell us how it is like to be a hearie??

..
.
.
.
.
Cannot answer it? Neither can we as Deafies!!

:thumb:
 
I'm a hearing person and I have a stupid question I'd like to ask. The thread has presumably been done to death but I wonder what does being deaf feel like? It's incomprehensive for me to picture how it feels like. I hope I didn't offend any deaf members around here.

As I mentioned in my thread, I'm outrightly new to ASL and deaf culture.
Nah, you did not offend us with this question.

I do not know those feeling I guess, being deaf is nothing to me. It is part of who I am and I am no shame of it. No one can give u idea what it is feel alike unless u experience it. It is alike me trying to pix what it is alike to be a man.

I am lucky tonight cuz I am going to sleep alike a baby while my husband has to deal with next door's loud music which it will goes on all night. He is not too happy about it.
 
Welcome to AD and no offense taken at all, it's a great question. :D I see from your article that you are a foreign-born exchange student. I had friends who were part of a foreign exchange group in HS.... they were my closest buddies, especially my friend from Brazil.

To answer your question about what being deaf feels like, I'd like to mention one thing first. Most deaf people are not fully deaf. I'm fully deaf and unable to hear any sounds even past the 140 dB range. One of my profound deaf friends can feel some kind of pressure/sound in her ear when her dog barks. I don't hear anything. Anyway, I will put you in my shoes so you understand what being deaf can feel like. Suppose you're deaf and you're at your hearing family's reunion. Relatives are talking among each other, their faces and lips moving without any sound being processed in your ear. Then suddenly, they all laugh about something. You are unsure what is going on. You know that you would like to enjoy the moment, so you will feel some kind of emotional bond and warmth with them. They talk for about two extra minutes before you can finally get someone's attention about the joke. The person tries to recall what the joke was, and then goes "Oh! we were talking about..." but the moment has already passed, and you were left out of it completely.

This is not an uncommon occurrence for a deaf person even among hearing friends. They may be talking with their other hearing friends, and they both will laugh but you won't be able to share in the moment. It creates a detachment from any kind of emotional bond with them. Then if you ask them what's going on, they often give you a watered down, condensed version like "We're talking about tomorrow." Then you have to ask, "What about tomorrow?" etc... this is not how a normal friendship should work, but with hearing people it always seems this way and most of them never take the initiative to tell you what's going on. It's hard to feel included with hearing people without sacrificing your own dignity because they wouldn't tell you something otherwise. It is especially important for a hearing person to make deaf people feel included without viewing it as an unnecessary burden, or even a burden at all. There is nothing wrong with us.

Anyway, there are many people who listen to the news on the radio while driving. This is not possible for a deaf person, so the deaf person has to set time aside to get information through the newspaper and news on TV. Further regarding getting information, if I'm out in a public place and there are people walking around and talking, there is no way to eavesdrop on their conversations. In the deaf world, if I wanted to eavesdrop on a signed conversation, that would make me conspicious.. but when hearing people overhear conversations, they have a tremendous advantage. Hearing enables you to learn from other people's real reactions in the environment around you, and gain a sense for what other people really are like. Unfortunately, it makes me feel further left out when in public places to even think about this. It is small wonder that some deaf people are not fond of being around hearing people, because it can stir up some jealousy (which is usually an unhealthy emotion). But when hearing people think they know so much more and think deaf people are dumb, it's a major turn-off because that only means they're taking the information they receive for granted.

I'm not sure how to describe how deafness sense-wise feels like, that's kind of like describing what something smells like, but I feel no vibrations in my ear, and feel like I'm looking outside a box into my surroundings, instead of being part of the surroundings. Hearing people's faces and lips may move, but to me it's like being around people speaking another language and having no clue what's going on, and that I probably don't belong there. When I am around deaf or hearing people who sign, I have a great time with them and we usually communicate just fine, but for someone like me who grew up with very limited exposure to the deaf world, blending into conversations is not always easy.

About 90% of individuals who are deaf or HoH were not born that way. I was born fully hearing and lost my hearing to spinal meningitis when I was two years old. My entire family is hearing, and they tried learning sign language to communicate with me, but it's still easy to feel left out since they don't sign around me when talking to each other unless they're talking directly to me. How deafness feels varies from individual to individual, since their backgrounds differ. Sorry if this post came out sounding negative somewhat, but your question was a good one.
 
Last edited:
Welcome to AD and no offense taken at all, it's a great question. :D I see from your article that you are a foreign-born exchange student. I had friends who were part of a foreign exchange group in HS.... they were my closest buddies, especially my friend from Brazil.

To answer your question about what being deaf feels like, I'd like to mention one thing first. Most deaf people are not fully deaf. I'm fully deaf and unable to hear any sounds even past the 140 dB range. One of my profound deaf friends can feel some kind of pressure/sound in her ear when her dog barks. I don't hear anything. Anyway, I will put you in my shoes so you understand what being deaf can feel like. Suppose you're deaf and you're at your hearing family's reunion. Relatives are talking among each other, their faces and lips moving without any sound being processed in your ear. Then suddenly, they all laugh about something. You are unsure what is going on. You know that you would like to enjoy the moment, so you will feel some kind of emotional bond and warmth with them. They talk for about two extra minutes before you can finally get someone's attention about the joke. The person tries to recall what the joke was, and then goes "Oh! we were talking about..." but the moment has already passed, and you were left out of it completely.

This is not an uncommon occurrence for a deaf person even among hearing friends. They may be talking with their other hearing friends, and they both will laugh but you won't be able to share in the moment. It creates a detachment from any kind of emotional bond with them. Then if you ask them what's going on, they often give you a watered down, condensed version like "We're talking about tomorrow." Then you have to ask, "What about tomorrow?" etc... this is not how a normal friendship should work, but with hearing people it always seems this way and most of them never take the initiative to tell you what's going on. It's hard to feel included with hearing people without sacrificing your own dignity because they wouldn't tell you something otherwise. It is especially important for a hearing person to make deaf people feel included without viewing it as an unnecessary burden, or even a burden at all. There is nothing wrong with us.

Anyway, there are many people who listen to the news on the radio while driving. This is not possible for a deaf person, so the deaf person has to set time aside to get information through the newspaper and news on TV. Further regarding getting information, if I'm out in a public place and there are people walking around and talking, there is no way to eavesdrop on their conversations. In the deaf world, if I wanted to eavesdrop on a signed conversation, that would make me conspicious.. but when hearing people overhear conversations, they have a tremendous advantage. Hearing enables you to learn from other people's real reactions in the environment around you, and gain a sense for what other people really are like. Unfortunately, it makes me feel further left out when in public places to even think about this. It is small wonder that some deaf people are not fond of being around hearing people, because it can stir up some jealousy (which is usually an unhealthy emotion). But when hearing people think they know so much more and think deaf people are dumb, it's a major turn-off because that only means they're taking the information they receive for granted.

I'm not sure how to describe how deafness sense-wise feels like, that's kind of like describing what something smells like, but I feel no vibrations in my ear, and feel like I'm looking outside a box into my surroundings, instead of being part of the surroundings. Hearing people's faces and lips may move, but to me it's like being around people speaking another language and having no clue what's going on, and that I probably don't belong there. When I am around deaf or hearing people who sign, I have a great time with them and we usually communicate just fine, but for someone like me who grew up with very limited exposure to the deaf world, blending into conversations is not always easy.

About 90% of individuals who are deaf or HoH were not born that way. I was born fully hearing and lost my hearing to spinal meningitis when I was two years old. My entire family is hearing, and they tried learning sign language to communicate with me, but it's still easy to feel left out since they don't sign around me when talking to each other unless they're talking directly to me. How deafness feels varies from individual to individual, since their backgrounds differ. Sorry if this post came out sounding negative somewhat, but your question was a good one.


Well said. :)
Your serious, your hearing loss is about 140, that is something new to me. Someone I knew was about 120. Wow. I am 10 percent past 100 hearing loss so I am fully deaf and do not talk normal alike hearing. HA does not work on me at all.
 
I have to admit, I've posed this question on more than one occassion. I've not only wondered what it is like to be deaf, but also how one might develop differently. What effect it would have on one's mentality, as opposed to if they were born hearing. It's a real interesting thing to think about. I guess we'll have to leave it to psychologists, because like someone said above, its impossible for either side to know what its like on the other.
 
Well said. :)
Your serious, your hearing loss is about 140, that is something new to me. Someone I knew was about 120. Wow. I am 10 percent past 100 hearing loss so I am fully deaf and do not talk normal alike hearing. HA does not work on me at all.

Yeah, it's been tested by an audiologist..... very seldomly will I feel any pressure in my ear and I'm talking about like once a year... one time was at a NASCAR race car event where some people were wearing ear protection. One NASCAR car engine at full throttle can measure 130 dB but put together a few NASCAR cars racing at the same time and it's even louder... I was very close to the stand and could feel some pressure in my ear but the sound had to be at least 150 dB. That's about the equivalent of a jet engine, of which I could barely feel pressure in my ear but that's it. It requires something that is almost similar to a shock wave vibrating on the ground before I can even detect any pressure in my ear. I'm the same way as you in that HA's don't work for me and my speech is not anywhere near a normal hearing person's speech.

Ruliya, perhaps you can try imagining what it's like to go to a NASCAR car race event and not be able to hear anything. :D
 
Ruliya, perhaps you can try imagining what it's like to go to a NASCAR car race event and not be able to hear anything. :D

Noooooooo neeever me! Being able to hear is 100% important to me. And what it feels like when I'm deaf? I'd have a feeling of being lonely, even though if I'm living with my family... I'd hate to ask what are they saying but I do that sometimes if I don't catch every word since I can hear normally.
 
You could try this.... put in earplugs in your ears... and put on the earmuff... try talking to someone, or watch tv with sounds on and without captions on it... that would be similar way of being deaf.
 
Yeah, it's been tested by an audiologist..... very seldomly will I feel any pressure in my ear and I'm talking about like once a year... one time was at a NASCAR race car event where some people were wearing ear protection. One NASCAR car engine at full throttle can measure 130 dB but put together a few NASCAR cars racing at the same time and it's even louder... I was very close to the stand and could feel some pressure in my ear but the sound had to be at least 150 dB. That's about the equivalent of a jet engine, of which I could barely feel pressure in my ear but that's it. It requires something that is almost similar to a shock wave vibrating on the ground before I can even detect any pressure in my ear. I'm the same way as you in that HA's don't work for me and my speech is not anywhere near a normal hearing person's speech.

Ruliya, perhaps you can try imagining what it's like to go to a NASCAR car race event and not be able to hear anything. :D

never knew someone who is deafier than me lol. u know all of my friends are sort of hear little better than me. We have African drums, when my husband play it and it drives me nut cuz of loud vibration. I do not hear it thou but feel it. It is hard to say if I hear it or just feel it. Cant tell different between those two.

Do u know how far hearing loss can reach other than 140 db loss u have? I am curious about it.
 
since I can hear normally.
You mean with hearing aids?
Jazzy, I have conductive deafness, and it's really hard to say whether or not I HEAR sounds or I'm just feeling the vibrations......I can feel the beat on dancable music better then a lot of hearing people.
It's very hard to decribe what it is like to be dhh......Many of us here have been dhh since birth. We don't know what sound and hearing like a hearing person is like.
 
You mean with hearing aids?
Jazzy, I have conductive deafness, and it's really hard to say whether or not I HEAR sounds or I'm just feeling the vibrations......I can feel the beat on dancable music better then a lot of hearing people.
It's very hard to decribe what it is like to be dhh......Many of us here have been dhh since birth. We don't know what sound and hearing like a hearing person is like.

Conductive deafness, umm as nerve damaged? I never really pay attention to this since to me all deaf are same to me. I never really hear any sound, except for loud bang or gun shots so close to me. I feel it but do feel in my ear and make me itch inside of my ears. Of course dogs bark right in my ears make me itch inside of my ears.

I try to remember what sound alike before I became deaf at 2 and half. I do know I already had a langauge but when I had spinal menginitis, my brain was damaged and they thought I was retarded but I had to relearn all over again. Learn to walk, to eat, to dress up, to play, and go on. I do remember those last words from my mother right before I became deaf. "your coming home with me" It became clear to me not too long ago, it is alike different two world. when u hear sound, it is alike coming in your whole body, not just ear and it is alike silent with those words coming in but block it from reach in. That is all I can remember right now.
 
Do u know how far hearing loss can reach other than 140 db loss u have? I am curious about it.
Hearing loss probably doesn't go past the maximum audible intensity in the normal human ear. In air, the maximum audible intensity for the normal human ear is 140 dB.


H.E.A.R. and Digital Recordings -

"Frequency range: With normal hearing, one can hear frequencies from 20 Hz to 20,000 Hz. ( 20 cycles/sec to 20,000 cycles/sec ).

Intensity range: With normal hearing, one can hear intensities from 0 dB to 140 dB. This corresponds to power ratio (defined as ratio of the highest audible intensity to the lowest audible intensity) equal to 100,000,000,000,000."

So this tells us that the maximum audible intensity is 140 dB.


Ultrasound - "If ultrasound is fed directly into the skull bone and reaches the cochlea without passing through the middle ear, much higher frequencies (up to about 200 kHz) can be heard. This effect (sometimes called ultrasonic hearing) was first discovered by divers exposed to a high-frequency (ca. 50 kHz) sonar signal." Remember that 20 kHz is the maximum audible frequency in air, but it's higher in water.

Other websites suggest the maximum audible sound is 120 dB for two reasons:
1) As a safety measurement for equipment (i.e. ambulance sirens are limited to how loud they are, so conversations can be audible)
2) Because they consider maximum audible frequency to stop where the pain threshold begins.

Data on websites also vary on specificially how high dB the sound made by an object is. Some say jet engines are 120 dB at 30m, others say 150 dB at 30m.


Sound Levels - "The sound pressure level of audible sounds ranges from 0 dB through 120 dB. Sounds in excess of 120 dB may cause immediate irreversible hearing impairment, besides being quite painful for most individuals."


Sound from Wikipedia - "The range of frequencies that humans can hear is approximately between 20 Hz and 20,000 Hz. This range is by definition the audible spectrum, but some people (particularly women) can hear above 20,000 Hz. This range varies by individual and generally shrinks with age, mostly in the upper part of the spectrum. The ear is most sensitive to frequencies around 3,500 Hz. Sound above 20,000 Hz is known as ultrasound; sound below 20 Hz as infrasound.

The amplitude of a sound wave is specified in terms of its pressure. The human ear can detect sounds with a very wide range of amplitudes and so a logarithmic decibel amplitude scale is used. The quietest sounds that humans can hear have an amplitude of approximately 20 µPa (micropascals) or a sound pressure level (SPL) of 0 dB re 20 µPa (often incorrectly abbreviated as 0 dB SPL). Prolonged exposure to a sound pressure level exceeding 85 dB can permanently damage the ear, sometimes resulting in tinnitus and hearing impairment. Sound levels in excess of 130 dB are considered above of what the human ear can withstand and may result in serious pain and permanent damage. At very high amplitudes, sound waves exhibit non-linear effects including shock."


Maximum Acoustic Threshold of Pain - "The maximum acoustic threshold of pain for the human ear in air is ~100 watts/m2 or ~140 dB, roughly independent of frequency within the audible range, for experienced habituated listeners. Animals may also take notice -- maximum audible frequencies via air conduction are 20 KHz (humans), 33 KHz (monkeys), 40 KHz (dogs, pigs, rats), 45 KHz (cats, katydids), 95 KHz (deer mice), 98 KHz (bats), and up to ~250 KHz (dolphins), while birds and fish are generally limited to <12 KHz."
 
How about putting on ear plugs or something that completely deaf. Then, go to places and try talking to people or doing things. See if that works. :thumb:
 
Everyone, thanks for your insightful posts!!

Welcome to AD and no offense taken at all, it's a great question. :D I see from your article that you are a foreign-born exchange student. I had friends who were part of a foreign exchange group in HS.... they were my closest buddies, especially my friend from Brazil.

To answer your question about what being deaf feels like, I'd like to mention one thing first. Most deaf people are not fully deaf. I'm fully deaf and unable to hear any sounds even past the 140 dB range. One of my profound deaf friends can feel some kind of pressure/sound in her ear when her dog barks. I don't hear anything. Anyway, I will put you in my shoes so you understand what being deaf can feel like. Suppose you're deaf and you're at your hearing family's reunion. Relatives are talking among each other, their faces and lips moving without any sound being processed in your ear. Then suddenly, they all laugh about something. You are unsure what is going on. You know that you would like to enjoy the moment, so you will feel some kind of emotional bond and warmth with them. They talk for about two extra minutes before you can finally get someone's attention about the joke. The person tries to recall what the joke was, and then goes "Oh! we were talking about..." but the moment has already passed, and you were left out of it completely.

This is not an uncommon occurrence for a deaf person even among hearing friends. They may be talking with their other hearing friends, and they both will laugh but you won't be able to share in the moment. It creates a detachment from any kind of emotional bond with them. Then if you ask them what's going on, they often give you a watered down, condensed version like "We're talking about tomorrow." Then you have to ask, "What about tomorrow?" etc... this is not how a normal friendship should work, but with hearing people it always seems this way and most of them never take the initiative to tell you what's going on. It's hard to feel included with hearing people without sacrificing your own dignity because they wouldn't tell you something otherwise. It is especially important for a hearing person to make deaf people feel included without viewing it as an unnecessary burden, or even a burden at all. There is nothing wrong with us.

Anyway, there are many people who listen to the news on the radio while driving. This is not possible for a deaf person, so the deaf person has to set time aside to get information through the newspaper and news on TV. Further regarding getting information, if I'm out in a public place and there are people walking around and talking, there is no way to eavesdrop on their conversations. In the deaf world, if I wanted to eavesdrop on a signed conversation, that would make me conspicious.. but when hearing people overhear conversations, they have a tremendous advantage. Hearing enables you to learn from other people's real reactions in the environment around you, and gain a sense for what other people really are like. Unfortunately, it makes me feel further left out when in public places to even think about this. It is small wonder that some deaf people are not fond of being around hearing people, because it can stir up some jealousy (which is usually an unhealthy emotion). But when hearing people think they know so much more and think deaf people are dumb, it's a major turn-off because that only means they're taking the information they receive for granted.

I'm not sure how to describe how deafness sense-wise feels like, that's kind of like describing what something smells like, but I feel no vibrations in my ear, and feel like I'm looking outside a box into my surroundings, instead of being part of the surroundings. Hearing people's faces and lips may move, but to me it's like being around people speaking another language and having no clue what's going on, and that I probably don't belong there. When I am around deaf or hearing people who sign, I have a great time with them and we usually communicate just fine, but for someone like me who grew up with very limited exposure to the deaf world, blending into conversations is not always easy.

About 90% of individuals who are deaf or HoH were not born that way. I was born fully hearing and lost my hearing to spinal meningitis when I was two years old. My entire family is hearing, and they tried learning sign language to communicate with me, but it's still easy to feel left out since they don't sign around me when talking to each other unless they're talking directly to me. How deafness feels varies from individual to individual, since their backgrounds differ. Sorry if this post came out sounding negative somewhat, but your question was a good one.
Theseus, your illustration of being deaf is very elucidatived post. Your post shows me that I have a lot to learn.
 
Ruliya, perhaps you can try imagining what it's like to go to a NASCAR car race event and not be able to hear anything. :D
Superb analogy. While I may never be able to walk in a deaf person's shoes, with your analogy my ability of understanding what being deaf feel like grows exponentially.
 
How about putting on ear plugs or something that completely deaf. Then, go to places and try talking to people or doing things. See if that works. :thumb:
I already tried and it wasn't exactly workable. Wherever I was, I was still able to hear the noises and voices. The noises and voices are certainly diminished but not enough to block figuratively everything to be in a deaf person's shoes.

:(
 
Superb analogy. While I may never be able to walk in a deaf person's shoes, with your analogy my ability of understanding what being deaf feel like grows exponentially.

Glad that helped you, I used to ask hearing people to describe what it was like being able to hear music. They provided connotations/analogies and that helped me visualize it.

Jazzy, sorry I provided too much information in the last post. I should've just answered your question briefly, but I found so much interesting information while looking it up.

Sorry for going off topic a little.
 
I already tried and it wasn't exactly workable. Wherever I was, I was still able to hear the noises and voices. The noises and voices are certainly diminished but not enough to block figuratively everything to be in a deaf person's shoes.

:(

That is about how I hear things. I have OME and that is driving me crazy. I go to the doctor in a week and a half and they are hopefully going to put permanent tubes in my ears, which should finish the problem. It's like constantly having water stuck in your ears and not getting it out.
 
Back
Top