Stop The Bullying on AD

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Rio

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I been bullied in a chatroom, oh well. Life lesson spend more time enjoying life than behind your monitor :)

I know bullies are all over just have to ignore them and enjoy what you have and live each moment than worrying :)
 
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VacationGuy234

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Oh yup, there are many members left AD to other deaf forum for some reasons, so I don't have anyone whoever share same agreement with me, but it isn't issue for me anymore.

As I understand it, those people were not banned, they left for another site. And, while I don't see anything wrong with the other site, I don't think it is as good as this one(personal opinion).

I do not have any proof, but seems like some had come back under different names.

I really don't understand the reason for it. During that time, people got away with a lot more on this site than they would on other sites.

Edit: Do I miss some those people? Sure, but it was their choice.
 

Angel1989

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I remember the night I found this site. I was in a very dark place after my illness which caused brain issues and my total hearing loss. This was my very first forum I reached out to. My first question was "what is the best way to communicate with my family now that I am deaf".

Boy did I get beat up. Funny the meanest one was "Sunny" who we all know ended up being a fake.

Thankfully there were many who saw I was real and helped me through my "acceptance" period.

I understand those who are cautious but you just never know what a certain mean comment might do to someone who might really be looking for help.
 

deafgam

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I remember the night I found this site. I was in a very dark place after my illness which caused brain issues and my total hearing loss. This was my very first forum I reached out to. My first question was "what is the best way to communicate with my family now that I am deaf". Boy did I get beat up. Funny the meanest one was "Sunny" who we all know ended up being a fake. Thankfully there were many who saw I was real and helped me through my "acceptance" period. I understand those who are cautious but you just never know what a certain mean comment might do to someone who might really be looking for help.

i have heard a lot about her. (sunny) maybe she was the one seeking help the most and didnt know it at the time. others on here that are just mean, constantly throwing out comments to hurt, i think those are the kind of people that are really hurting inside themselves. im sorry you have gone through so much Angel1989. Hope you find comfort with some of the more sincere few on here.
 

NitroHonda

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I remember the night I found this site. I was in a very dark place after my illness which caused brain issues and my total hearing loss. This was my very first forum I reached out to. My first question was "what is the best way to communicate with my family now that I am deaf".

Boy did I get beat up. Funny the meanest one was "Sunny" who we all know ended up being a fake.

Thankfully there were many who saw I was real and helped me through my "acceptance" period.

I understand those who are cautious but you just never know what a certain mean comment might do to someone who might really be looking for help.

Loss isn't something that I can relate to. I needed a reminder that loss and identity are parallel to another. Thanks for sharing.
 

VacationGuy234

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Oh yup, there are many members left AD to other deaf forum for some reasons, so I don't have anyone whoever share same agreement with me, but it isn't issue for me anymore.

I would NOT say that is true. There are many, myself included, who do not respond to every post because I agree with those post. You should not take lack of posts or reaction to your post as non-agreement. Furthermore, no person agrees with everything another person states.

If you are persuaded by someone's logic, you may want to let them know. Conversely, if you are not persuaded, you may want to let them know as well. But, that's not going to happen every time.
 

caz12

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:hmm:....IMO....the bullying has gotten 110% much, much better than it was a year or two ago....Basically, everyone is pretty nice to each other. There may be some disagreements and the F-bomb here and there, but that's expected....Would be very boring if everybody agreed upon everyt little thing, don't ya think?.....

true..is it possible people from different countries and we are mix bunch may say or think little different what blunt to one appear bully to another and put full stop or comma in wrong place it comes out bad..
i agree rr it good have opposite points of view it would be boring if not...my humour is different from lots of american humour altough i think you and me rr have dam good laugh
 

caz12

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time zones bit of pain ..i dead beat when everyone else up and fresh...little things like that can make things appear out of contex
 

ecp

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I know this isn't a scientific survey but since I mentioned that some people were exhibiting bullying behavior here about a week ago, I have received many emails from people thanking me for saying something.
These people come from different backgrounds but didn't feel safe or comfortable posting their support in public.
If that isn't an indication of the culture of intimidation on this forum I don't know what is.

Parents who have newly diagnosed babies are told they are terrible for considering cochlear implants (they often later show up on cochlear implant forums and complain about this forum because they were thoroughly unwelcomed).
ASL students are rebuffed.
People who have been involved with Deaf culture from birth are made to feel inadequate because they choose to speak and sign.

Ask yourself if you have wanted to say something but didn't because you knew one of 5 or 6 people would criticize your opinion.



I know I've never felt "Deaf enough" here despite knowing ASL since I was 4.
Yet, do we really want to be a community that makes people prove their deafness AKA "worth" and if the answer to that question is "yes" I won't be back but I will also await the replies of members with audiologically mild to moderate conductive hearing loss. Because if we are going to judge the "worth" aka "deafness" of others, we damned well better be willing to have ourselves judged.
And if you want to get down to the details, this is my most recent audiogram. I am not only audiologically deaf, I am also Deaf.
I'm defer than deaf jam, I'm so, so deaf. (Somebody better get the Sean Forbes reference).
 

VacationGuy234

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There are differences in our communities, yes, but bitching about it isn't going to do any good. We need to lead by example. Our greatest common link is that we are all deaf.

We need to take a step back and look at what brings us together. We didn't all just fall out of a tree and land on this site. We've all had problems in our lives. And sadly, those problems are not going away. Till the day we die, we are going to be different, but that's OK because it only makes us stronger.
 

Bottesini

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I know this isn't a scientific survey but since I mentioned that some people were exhibiting bullying behavior here about a week ago, I have received many emails from people thanking me for saying something.
These people come from different backgrounds but didn't feel safe or comfortable posting their support in public.

If that isn't an indication of the culture of intimidation on this forum I don't know what is.

Parents who have newly diagnosed babies are told they are terrible for considering cochlear implants (they often later show up on cochlear implant forums and complain about this forum because they were thoroughly unwelcomed).
ASL students are rebuffed.
People who have been involved with Deaf culture from birth are made to feel inadequate because they choose to speak and sign.

Ask yourself if you have wanted to say something but didn't because you knew one of 5 or 6 people would criticize your opinion.



I know I've never felt "Deaf enough" here despite knowing ASL since I was 4.
Yet, do we really want to be a community that makes people prove their deafness AKA "worth" and if the answer to that question is "yes" I won't be back but I will also await the replies of members with audiologically mild to moderate conductive hearing loss. Because if we are going to judge the "worth" aka "deafness" of others, we damned well better be willing to have ourselves judged.
And if you want to get down to the details, this is my most recent audiogram. I am not only audiologically deaf, I am also Deaf.
I'm defer than deaf jam, I'm so, so deaf. (Somebody better get the Sean Forbes reference).

Those people aren't contributing to the forum though when they email you. It will die pretty fast if people don't just say what they want in public.

And you are the one who keeps decrying your own lack of deafness.

I noted you being meaner and more of a bully than all the people you were calling out this week.
 
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It does hit ones nerve when they think theyre right and know no wrong on certain viewpoints- its all about being human but one need to remember to step back and view what others are looking over there through their looking glass! We are all different in our personalities and our perspective in life pulls us together under one common thing, deafness or relating to deafness...thats what makes the deaf community unique.

But to continue holding a grudge against one online shows a glimpse of ones true character in real life. I personally would not be friends with someone like that. Most of us are humans and we do lash out now and then and we do make mistakes as human beings. We all have our blonde moments now and then. If one has resentment of what I said few posts ago or years ago, then they obviously have issues of their own.
 

caz12

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i dont go back or answer a thread if someone bully.. nobody making anyone read something if no like it...
i think you got be on something for longer time to understand peoples style before make judgment.thats my opinion...i been bullied very badly on another site and sadly have to meet same people as we live in same town.i no let those people get better of me they win if i leave....i read lots of posts on here and not read any bullying,i seen straightforward posts and hot headed posts even post of big ego's and disagreements all part of human condition. Bullies i have not noticed but i dont look for them
 

goodonya

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I have seen lots and lots of bullying in my life and experienced it too. I hope to God I have not done it myself. Sometimes it is a thing that can happen, what has happened to a person well they turn around and do it to someone else.
The worst of course is what I call the wolf pack. Whoa... that is bad I have been wolfpacked and you aren't quite the same after that. It does not just go away.
Sometimes someone is just thinking they are being helpful or funny. Or it is happening to someone else and it feels like it is happening to me.
We all have times we are on the touchy side whoa some more than others.
Oh well bullying sucks I hate it. AD is like life you encounter all kinds of folks but like Caz said if it is pissing us off we really don't have to engage. Or just say something to make it stop without escalating it.
 

Babyblue

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There is a fine line between disagreeing and bullying. People jumping on the bandwagon deliberately causing emotional harm online is bullying. I have not seen that recently. It used to be Bad in the past. I have not been on this site in a while and only been back about 2 weeks now. I have not seen any bullying. Unless someone want to show me where. I do see disagreements and debates. :shrug:
 

deafgam

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Wirelessly posted There is a fine line between disagreeing and bullying. People jumping on the bandwagon deliberately causing emotional harm online is bullying. I have not seen that recently. It used to be Bad in the past. I have not been on this site in a while and only been back about 2 weeks now. I have not seen any bullying. Unless someone want to show me where. I do see disagreements and debates. :shrug:


i have felt the hurls of the bullies. no one can tell me i have not. just because every eye does not read the bullies post, does NOT mean the bullies post arent there.
 

Tousi

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i have felt the hurls of the bullies. no one can tell me i have not. just because every eye does not read the bullies post, does NOT mean the bullies post arent there.

Can you point us to a few of those posts?
 

deafgam

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now what benefit would it bring to anybody for me to point people to those post, tousi? what kind request is that? who is it going to satisfy? you? as long as i know, its good enough for me. i dont need to start opening this post up for jabs, put downs or opening it up for insults. leave it be. im not out to undirt crap. you should not be either.
 
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