So what's the deal?

Exoperator

New Member
I spent a few years relaying calls as an operator and I have to wonder as I have all along....why are deaf people on the whole so rude? I've seen the posts in here that say "Oh it's a character flaw" blah blah blah but that really isn't going to work on me. I averaged about 2,000 calls per months...granted only half of those were legitimate, that's still a good 20,000 conversations I've personally been involved in between deaf and hearing individuals, and a vast majority of deaf people are not only rude they literally expect people to bend over and kiss their ass.

I think it all traces back to this whole "deaf culture" isolationism that actually encourages deaf people to separate themselves from the rest of the world.

I love that deaf people don't want to consider themselves disabled that being called Hearing Impaired or Disabled is offensive to many deaf individuals, until they're collecting SSI that is. It's ok if the government defines them as disabled because that's a free paycheck...

Yea I'm probably venting a bit, and I'm intelligent enough to know that not every deaf person falls under that category...but if you believe that the majority aren't like that you're deceiving yourself.

Frankly I'm glad I wasn't born deaf, I don't know that I could handle the asshole I might have become had I been exposed to "deaf culture" without the benefit of having seen the rest of the world first.

Oh just as a tip to you guys....when you're rude to the operator, they fuck your calls up on purpose and if you really want to do something to advance yourself...learn to spell and type.

I'm sure this post probably won't last too long, or hell maybe it will just so you guys can flame it....it won't matter though because I won't be back to fuel it on, I'm not here to troll....I've just been putting up with shit for years and now that I don't have to, it's nice to be able to vent a little.

For all you guys that were decent, that said "thanks have a great day opr" you are the ones I enjoyed relaying for. For the rest of you that treat your operators like your slave...I hope you choke on a chode.
 

Jiro

If You Know What I Mean
Premium Member
Sorry to hear about your bad experience... I know what you're saying. Don't we all wish many people (hearing\deafies\just about everybody) would at least be considerate enough to learn some basic, simple etiquettes? I've heard bunch of horror stories about people being rude to helpers. tsk tsk tsk.....
 

Matilda

Boxing Kangaroo "Jack"
Premium Member
I'm so sorry to hear that you and other relay operators have been verbally abused by other deaf people. Believe me, I am not one of them as I am always polite plus saying "Have a nice day" at the end of the conversations.

I don't understand why the deaf have to be so rude with relay operators but maybe, it's just frustration they're feeling because they were treated that way in the hearing community. But still, they shouldn't be taking it out on you people.

You are doing a wonderful service for us. :thumb:
 

R2D2

New Member
Wow, it sounds like a difficult job. I hardly ever use the relay but do try and be polite to the operator. It's interesting to read your perspective - sounds like you deal with a lot of cranky deaf people!

Why have you stuck with it for so long? Most people who experience abuse from the vast majority of their contacts in their jobs cannot take so much...
 

NEWIDME

New Member
I have used Relay and no I have not wished the op a good day. Op's are supposed to remain OBJECTIVE. The op's that give phone numbers doesn't stay and chat w/ the caller. The 911 op's, although my experience tell's me they are stupid as hell, are supposed to be objective. Dispatch in a police station doesn't chatter w/ the caller. I guess it's a privledge you can even listen in on a conversation! That would kinda piss me off as a Deafie. No privacy!!!

Basically what I am trying to say, Exop, is I don't feel sorry for you. I am not deaf but hoh. If you fuck our calls up on purpose, why should I even like you? I don't like you. Thank god you are no longer in the business.


Bah, Bye! :wave:
 

Jiro

If You Know What I Mean
Premium Member
Basically what I am trying to say, Exop, is I don't feel sorry for you. I am not deaf but hoh. If you fuck our calls up on purpose, why should I even like you? I don't like you. Thank god you are no longer in the business.

she tried her best to be objective but she was complaining that the caller expected her to kiss her ass and the caller could not spell for squat. how can you expect the OP to do her job when you can't do the basic etiquette or if you're a bad speller?
 

NEWIDME

New Member
Op doesn't give any specific examples of where a deaf person w/ mean or rude or asking for her to kiss butt. I am sure a TDD person know's how to type/spell well enough for others to understand. I guess I don't believe that statement. The whole post was condescending to me - -
I love that deaf people don't want to consider themselves disabled that being called Hearing Impaired or Disabled is offensive to many deaf individuals, until they're collecting SSI that is. It's ok if the government defines them as disabled because that's a free paycheck

That statement above is like saying people on welfare keep having babies so they get more money IMO.

I don't know, the whole post just seemed mean in and of itself.
 

Tousi

Well-Known Member
I disagree, NEWY; the vast majority of the deaf population does not come to places like this and other forums because they simply can't. Now imagine them making a relay call.......I've seen/heard about it many a time in my life.
 

NEWIDME

New Member
I disagree, NEWY; the vast majority of the deaf population does not come to places like this and other forums because they simply can't. Now imagine them making a relay call.......I've seen/heard about it many a time in my life.

I haven't seen much of anything dealing w/ hoh or Deafies, so I guess you are right. :smoking: See, I am so sensitive!! I stand corrected. :Oops:

BTW, I used the cig smilie today cuz for the upteenth time, I am trying to f'ing quit and today is day 1 for the upteenth time.
 

Tousi

Well-Known Member
I haven't seen much of anything dealing w/ hoh or Deafies, so I guess you are right. :smoking: See, I am so sensitive!! I stand corrected. :Oops:

BTW, I used the cig smilie today cuz for the upteenth time, I am trying to f'ing quit and today is day 1 for the upteenth time.

Haha, Newy; that's alright. New information based on longer immersion into the culture will/should show you new things.

Best wishes on those ciggys!
 

Bottesini

Old Deaf Ranter
Premium Member
I am so quittin for good. :eek3:

You said you take Zoloft. Maybe get changed to Welbutrin. It is the same thing as an anti smoking drug but works as an anti-depressant too. I too the anti smoking version years ago and I did manage to quit smoking. It really helped.
 

NEWIDME

New Member
I am on Chantix! It works. It's the habit that is harder. I quit for 6mths and then had a fire and used that as an excuse to start up again. Now I am ready to quit again. Chantix.
 

Aleser

New Member
I spent a few years relaying calls as an operator and I have to wonder as I have all along....why are deaf people on the whole so rude? I've seen the posts in here that say "Oh it's a character flaw" blah blah blah but that really isn't going to work on me. I averaged about 2,000 calls per months...granted only half of those were legitimate, that's still a good 20,000 conversations I've personally been involved in between deaf and hearing individuals, and a vast majority of deaf people are not only rude they literally expect people to bend over and kiss their ass.

I think it all traces back to this whole "deaf culture" isolationism that actually encourages deaf people to separate themselves from the rest of the world.

I love that deaf people don't want to consider themselves disabled that being called Hearing Impaired or Disabled is offensive to many deaf individuals, until they're collecting SSI that is. It's ok if the government defines them as disabled because that's a free paycheck...

Having a PERCEIVED disability can prevent a person from being able to get work. Deafness is, even if not a disability to the deaf person, very much a perceived disability.


Yea I'm probably venting a bit, and I'm intelligent enough to know that not every deaf person falls under that category...but if you believe that the majority aren't like that you're deceiving yourself.

Who is 'the majority'? Why am -I- engaged in self deception because you say so? Do not speak -for me-, I can speak for myself.

Frankly I'm glad I wasn't born deaf, I don't know that I could handle the asshole I might have become had I been exposed to "deaf culture" without the benefit of having seen the rest of the world first.

K, now you're turning into an insensitive prick. Deaf people can see the rest of the world, and most of us aren't assholes.

Oh just as a tip to you guys....when you're rude to the operator, they fuck your calls up on purpose and if you really want to do something to advance yourself...learn to spell and type.

Doing that is unprofessional, period. It is (was?) your JOB to complete a call to the best of your ability. Service shouldn't be variable based on how much PMS your operator is experiencing... and the whole 'learn to spell' deal? English isn't a first language for most of us. Do you routinely tell Hispanics to shut the fuck up and learn English already?

I'm sure this post probably won't last too long, or hell maybe it will just so you guys can flame it....it won't matter though because I won't be back to fuel it on, I'm not here to troll....I've just been putting up with shit for years and now that I don't have to, it's nice to be able to vent a little.

Yes, it's 'not trolling' when you come on a site in which the majority are culturally Deaf, and complain about Deaf people. Want a medal for that intelligence?

For all you guys that were decent, that said "thanks have a great day opr" you are the ones I enjoyed relaying for. For the rest of you that treat your operators like your slave...I hope you choke on a chode.

This may come as a shock, but you get paid for doing it. It's not our responsibility to THANK you for not taking the mostly 'invisible' role you SHOULD be taking in a call.

:roll:
 

lovezebras

Active Member
woww..u really need something else to complain about. If u hated your job why did u do it so long? Andd from what i have gathered maybe u've had a bad experience with a deaf person and your just bitter about the situation. orrr maybe deep down your jealous? of i dont know what..but it seems like a pretty useless rant that u have made..not to mention going on a deaf/hoh predominant web site and bashing "most" of the deaf population because you think that we're all assholes. VERY rude of you! I'm glad too you weren't born deaf, you would probably be a crotchedy asshole. You don't know what it's like to have a disability (im assuming) so f off and go cry to someone else.

WHat did you set out to accomplish by posting this thread? If it was to get negative responses back on all the RUDE comments u made then mission accomplished.
I really hope not, but if it was to make urself feel better about your "problem with deaf people" then u horribly failed cuz if i read that after i posted that thread i would think i was a miserable sob and a jerk for doing so.

OH and i hope YOU choke on a reality check!
 
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Brian

New Member
I used to tell relay operators, "thanks. have a nice day" years ago even to the unpleasant ones (I was able to tell whenever they weren't being friendly, etc.) Now, I usually say "Thank you or No, but thank you." I am kind of afraid I was taking up their times just to say that.

I personally miss the way the relay services used to be. My hearing grandmother does too. It would be cool if the operators we had back in the early to mid-1990's were members here at AllDeaf. They knew us by our names. :)
 

Buffalo

Active Member
I think it all traces back to this whole "deaf culture" isolationism that actually encourages deaf people to separate themselves from the rest of the world.

I love that deaf people don't want to consider themselves disabled that being called Hearing Impaired or Disabled is offensive to many deaf individuals, until they're collecting SSI that is. It's ok if the government defines them as disabled because that's a free paycheck...

Actually, the hearing people created handicapped out of us Deaf people. Lack of communication at home. Substandard education for the Deaf. Discrimination at employment. Martha Vineyard is the proof that hearing people can learn sign language and coexist with the Deaf people side by side. The hearing people choose to remain blind to this proof.

I fail to see the logic in forcing a Deaf person (who has only 4 senses) to speak/lipreading while the hearing person (all 5 senses) can't/won't learn ASL and the hearing people have the nerve to think that they are better than us.

If you are back to read this thread, do read "The Mask of Benevolence" by Harlan Lane.

One more thing... since you post and run... that is a cowardly act!
 

Jiro

If You Know What I Mean
Premium Member
woww..u really need something else to complain about. If u hated your job why did u do it so long? Andd from what i have gathered maybe u've had a bad experience with a deaf person and your just bitter about the situation. orrr maybe deep down your jealous? of i dont know what..but it seems like a pretty useless rant that u have made..not to mention going on a deaf/hoh predominant web site and bashing "most" of the deaf population because you think that we're all assholes. VERY rude of you! I'm glad too you weren't born deaf, you would probably be a crotchedy asshole. You don't know what it's like to have a disability (im assuming) so f off and go cry to someone else.

WHat did you set out to accomplish by posting this thread? If it was to get negative responses back on all the RUDE comments u made then mission accomplished.
I really hope not, but if it was to make urself feel better about your "problem with deaf people" then u horribly failed cuz if i read that after i posted that thread i would think i was a miserable sob and a jerk for doing so.

OH and i hope YOU choke on a reality check!

you misunderstood. OP's complaining about people using the relay service IMPROPERLY without knowing the basic etiquette that will make OP's job easier. For ie - LEARN HOW TO SPELL! How do you expect OP to relay your message to other person if you can't spell properly? Some deaf people may be very impatient and quick to judge. For example - OP says "please hold while I relay message....." when listening to machine voice system and maybe the deaf caller got impatient and called her incompetent and hung up. BE PATIENT AND DO YOUR JOB SO OP CAN PROPERLY HELP YOU!
 

lovezebras

Active Member
oh no, i did understand the post. And i understand about cranky hurried deaf ppl but to say the vast majority is like that is rude..has this person talked to every deaf person in the world...i think NOT! I really didn't like the posting and s/he came at it in the wrong way..
 

kipourgos

New Member
I can see a bit of both sides here, but I do *NOT* accept this attitude of "I'm paying so I get to treat you like crap" philosophy. Anyone who has ever worked as a waiter will know exactly what I'm talking about. People have bad days, bad weeks, bad years even. But the fact that I'm getting paid as a waiter (or in any other service position) doesn't mean that I stop seeing people as people with feelings rather than just "money sources." And I don't think it's unfair to expect the same thing from the people I serve. I'm not a machine, and the fact that you pay me doesn't mean I cease to be a person who also has good and bad days, and has feelings. If we treat each other civilly, we both have a better day.

Deaf, black, gay, schizophrenic, Muslim, and a million more human differences set people up for incidences of misunderstanding and yes, sometimes just plain stupidity, not to mention prickery. But in the end, we can only be resonsible for our own actions, and do our best. I can't be the whipping boy for every instance of disrespct that ever befell a deaf person, a black person, a gay person, a schiziphrenic person, a Muslim, or any other group. And just as it's sad when some members of these groups become so sensitized that they assume enmity from and harbor an attitude of suspicion towards every [hearing/white/straight/non-schiziphrenic/christian] person, it is also tragic when people in the majority culture become hesitant to interact with the "other" for fear they will be misinterpreted or treated badly.

You can explain and justify obnoxious behavior on either side of a social divide, but sooner or later it gets down to interaction between individuals. The invididuals all have feelings, and they can be hurt, and despite their flaws, most are decent people. Whether you act like a hearing prick or a deaf prick, in the last analysis you've acted like a prick and unless the person on the other side is exceptional, he may very well respond like a prick. Or if he's working for you, he'll reign it in because he doesn't want to lose his job, but act out on it later.

Isn't it better to just start out by treating people with respect?
 
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