I'm not gay but i got a couple of close freinds who are, and they are great mates. I have noticed that the real tragedy of being gay has been visually well captured in a film called "XXY" (i think it was a Swede film). It really brings it out clearly the struggle, the emotional and the self-hatred which many young gay, transsexual faces. These issues were placed in the family, close community context so poigently that I think it should be made compulsory viewing for high school students in order to gear up the thinking and empathy capacity to everyone as a whole. That said, the film provoke everyone viewing the film to realise sexually (identity-wise) troubled people are is human, not freaks of nature or monsters but the film still didn't (probably deliberately so?) show clearly what is the resolve or how to resolve dilemma it merely left to the audience however so, that bit I can understand what they getting at but at same time i still found it somewhat unhelpful, except to those already 'deep thinker'.
Back to this thread, no, you shouldnt be ashamed, but then again what is it? the lust after somebody you cant have? er..there are often more than one reasons why in one way or another a relationship is hindered than just merely sexual want/preference (but it is a potent enough) but then like the film XXY, it had been depicted in a small town environment to which where it 'makes it easy to isolate other distractions such as the many 'other roles or players (characters) in society, say in the city) so in this effect, it creates an atmosphere where everyone probably knows everybody (this partly distorts or strengthen - depending if you liked the director/producers intent or style.
This film attempts to deal with how society already 'hate gays?', come to think of it, I like this film because I felt it that I wish there was a film about deafness in the similar way to show how do we really have a problem dealing with society expectation for us to deny or be ashamed of being d/Deaf? because success is not just about being in favour of majority's language but also 'attitude'. Put differently, society only 'likes' or 'approves' us 'so-called doesnt matter if we use sign, ASL' the reality is that as long as we conform to a certain way of thinking or behaviour , then there is 'harmony' but its clearly a fake one (dont we all know this??!).
Also I dare to say this if we go back to this film (you must watch it), notice the 'hold-back of the resolve' at the end of the film, it seem to suggest that in contrary to popular formulatic 'disability/gender/crime/even romance (particularily films about love in between main dancers) themes' this one has a 'open ended' resolve but with no resolve, only acceptance- but a weak one, this could be said the same for our situation being d/Deaf in hearing society that as long as we have some 'hearing culture' in the base of our awareness or acknowledgement then we are showing our approval of their ways and putting our own as 'our own' as we have to live with it. This is an uneasy parrallel to make, I mean, for the hermaphrodite (this film was about this!) where she is a he also, to make sense of what the uneasy comparison I'm trying to illustrate is, imagine a deaf person is also a hearing person, then society sees the hearing person but not a deaf soul, but the dilemma is how can a hearing person have a deaf soul when all the experiences is 'in the hearing world'? it is extremely thought-provoking I must say. Lastly, in the light of this film, I like it because it is a highly visual capture of the the murky difficulity to dealing with extreme ambivalence.
Sorry if this seem off- the track but i hope you find this well-received. Cheers
oh Last thing, dont be ashamed, being ashamed is taking all the society's dissproval as your own which is not true. If you know this much, then it is logical there is no need for shame. Are you ashame of being deaf? the answer is already there and I bet you already are half way, make it complete.
Oh hello boobs!
