Rejection, and I'm pretty sure why..

kellycat

New Member
Unfortunately this doesn't only happen between two people who are dating. It happens with friends too. After I got really sick last year and ended up loosing my hearing, there are a few long time friends that want no part of me anymore. Maybe I scared them into thinking "wow this could happen to me" I was very hurt over this, but you learn really quick who your true friends are. Good Luck!!!!,
My mom discovered this when she had lung cancer surgery (she's great now, totally recovered). A "friend" of hers, who worked in the hospital, never even stopped up to see her. Mom has become really tight with who she calls a "friend".

I am thinking of how my friends would react if something like what happened to you happened to me. A few I bet I would never really see again. Maybe one visit, at first. My thought about why is they would feel we really had very little in common anymore, or that it would be painful to see me struggling to communicate with them. Like being with them would be rubbing it in what awesome times we had chatting and joking before and this changed everything. I can imagine they would feel uncomfortable, like they're making me struggle. I'm guessing that your friends weren't trying to be mean to you by leaving, some probably thought they were doing you a favor, oddly enough. Others, well, they just suck.
 

hotdefman

Member
Saturday night, I hung out with an old friend I used to date. (About 8 years ago). The past was based on just going out all the time, partying. We reconnected recently. I am currently going through divorce, and he has been for about 2 years. When I was with him in the past I had in the canal hearing aids, and since our relationship was just fun, I never felt the need to tell him. We spent hours talking on Saturday, and I felt like it was a great visit with each other. I now wear behind the ear Ultra power Naida HA's. I felt so nervous to tell him, so finally when it was almost time to go, I told him about me wearing them. He said it didn't matter to him. He drove me home and was asking questions about the HA's and my hearing loss, so I figured it interested him. Sunday was Easter, today passed. This is someone who since we reconnected, was texting me daily, and it was a fun convo. Texting back and forth. Finally tonight, I texted him "hi" (against my better judgement) 30min. Later he simply responded "hello" I thanked him for the ride home and said it was nice seeing him. I got a response saying no problem for the ride, and it was nice seeing me too. I have never told another man, besides my ex about my BTE HA's, as my hearing loss was found to have progressed to the level of needing Ultra Power this summer. Needless to say, I feel sad. I also feel like I was rejected also as a friend, just because I disclosed this about myself. I feel that if I tell anyone else that I wear these, that I will be judged again for wearing BTE HA's. I feel discouraged and lonely. I'm just wondering if anyone has experienced this before, and how do you get over the bad feeling I'm feeling. I wasn't told that this was the reason for the cold shoulder from him, but prior to telling him, things were great. I know I deserve someone to care about me for me, but this experience makes me feel afraid to tell anyone else I meet, especially new, because this was someone that knew me well and still has rejected me. Maybe since my hearing loss is so pronounced, even though my speech is great and I grew up hearing, maybe I should forget it when it comes to hearing men. Thanks in advance for listening/responses. :(
Don't bother with these morons! Be yourself, show the world you are YOU! To hell with them who thinks deaf, hearing aids, etc are not good or whatever. THey're NARROW MIND SCUMBAGS!!!

Me, I wears my hearing aids, for I needs it to shut up my tinnitus, and I wears my mp3 player, playing my music, and that shuts up the tinnitus even better! And I walks out there, singing and dancing, to hell with the hearing morons out there, fuck them all! I hates them all and I don't needs them! They all can KISS MY ARSE!!!!

I don't apologise to them for being DEAF. FUCK THEM if they thinks I have to apologise for being deaf. Why don't they apologises? They never do! So fuck them all! They're useless arseholes, male and female, men and woman. They're all INSANE, alwyas raping each other, killing each other. We don't NEED them!!!! We're INDEPENDENCE, and we're Happy! To hell with all the hearings! They can FUCK OFF and DIE!!!!!!!

I go places, and I never let anyone push me around. NO one ever does, they look at my face and my face warn them to be careful. If anyone fucks with me, I'l fuck with them, I'll tear them apart, I'll destroy them. I HATE all hearings now! They're SCUM of the earth!

And all hearing women are unfaithful scumbags! These are HIGH SCHOOL educated women who do not understand what FAITHFULNESS means. They're SO DUMB THey're IDIOTS! Waste of my time! I'll never bother with women ever again. Not one women have ever been proven faithful. I'll never be betrayed ever again.

I'll never trust a women who do not understand what it means to be faithful.
 

Babyblue

New Member
Wirelessly posted

Honey, you got to be honest with them from the get go. Weed out all the idiots that do not know how to handle a deaf or HOH woman. I never hide my hearing aids or the fact that I am deaf. I used to. Now, I can see who is true to me, and accepts me for who I am. My hearing aids have ran a couple of guys off. Thinking back. I am glad they did because they do not deserve me if they can handle it.
 

Grummer

Active Member
*notices Auri.625 avatar picture*
wow, smokin' hot!
i noticed too!
lol yes i can believe you're dumped cuz of wearing a hearing aid, or just being deaf/hearing impaired, people just dont get a clue about the hassles of trying to keep up, or fit in convos, i mean mere convos...but thats so-called hearing culture, they like the pace, and when its strained a wee bit, they get annoyed real quick, but come think of it, i actually wonder about older people 40-50-60plus, when they're loosing hearing because of age-related aspects, and they feeling left out? or not as much because of their 'history' or materials gains or social importance they WAS gained before, whenin if youre young, you havent got the 'badge of life' to say how important you are, and people knows it, like if you're a VIP or someone representing alot of money or status in the film..they will lick your ass for something or even 'protect you' with a secret wish that you'd return them something...and if you have nothing to 'offer' they dont wanna know you

yes i seem to mistrust hearing people, and you're right i dont. I 've had quite alot lot of hearing freinds when i was young, (and naive)...then they moved places, gone up high in corporate ladders -havent seen them 20 years plus (but i am aware of their jobs, status and attitudes as they come and go on newspapers i know who they are) they are like complete strangers now...
the thing is
hearing people are quite selfish to think you havent got much to offer, move on find someone else who does -deaf or hearing i dont care, as long as you find someone who value your needs for interaction and value you as you not as someone to be used as life' stepping stones for experience'...
you look quite pretty and so you're are going to attract guys, and many of them will just interested in having you as a prize not as a real deal gf, so i dont need to tell you that , you probably knew that. Just sayin, dont bother with those who thinks you're a hassle or chore to keep you in tabs with the social...find someone else who does cares.
 

rockin'robin

Well-Known Member
My .02 cents is....people get rejected every day for various reasons....bad breath....an artificial leg...bald and wearing a wig....glass eye....wearing a hearing aid, when most people feel that's for "the oldies".....

Just hoping you don't take this rejection too personally, tho'....Seems if so many people have this thing about "finding the perfect mate"....not realizing that themselves, have so many faults.

Your hearing aid(s) do not define you as a person, and if the guy was really interested in you, the hearing aids would have not stopped him.....If they actually did...then you're just lucky you did not fall for such a jerk!...An immature and imbecible to boot.

Many relationships I've had...some said..."I just wish she could HEAR"!....And when I was young, it hurt...but now that I'm older, it does not.....If a person cannot accept you...just as you are....then don't waste ur time on them.
 

cdaigle430

Member
Saturday night, I hung out with an old friend I used to date. (About 8 years ago). The past was based on just going out all the time, partying. We reconnected recently. I am currently going through divorce, and he has been for about 2 years. When I was with him in the past I had in the canal hearing aids, and since our relationship was just fun, I never felt the need to tell him. We spent hours talking on Saturday, and I felt like it was a great visit with each other. I now wear behind the ear Ultra power Naida HA's. I felt so nervous to tell him, so finally when it was almost time to go, I told him about me wearing them. He said it didn't matter to him. He drove me home and was asking questions about the HA's and my hearing loss, so I figured it interested him. Sunday was Easter, today passed. This is someone who since we reconnected, was texting me daily, and it was a fun convo. Texting back and forth. Finally tonight, I texted him "hi" (against my better judgement) 30min. Later he simply responded "hello" I thanked him for the ride home and said it was nice seeing him. I got a response saying no problem for the ride, and it was nice seeing me too. I have never told another man, besides my ex about my BTE HA's, as my hearing loss was found to have progressed to the level of needing Ultra Power this summer. Needless to say, I feel sad. I also feel like I was rejected also as a friend, just because I disclosed this about myself. I feel that if I tell anyone else that I wear these, that I will be judged again for wearing BTE HA's. I feel discouraged and lonely. I'm just wondering if anyone has experienced this before, and how do you get over the bad feeling I'm feeling. I wasn't told that this was the reason for the cold shoulder from him, but prior to telling him, things were great. I know I deserve someone to care about me for me, but this experience makes me feel afraid to tell anyone else I meet, especially new, because this was someone that knew me well and still has rejected me. Maybe since my hearing loss is so pronounced, even though my speech is great and I grew up hearing, maybe I should forget it when it comes to hearing men. Thanks in advance for listening/responses. :(
I have been rejected several times for wearing ITE or BTE HAs. Its not fun to be rejected by anyone for any reason but I do know that its better to find out sooner than later.

What I mean by that is dating someone for a little while only to have them break up with you because of silly things like this one question-If you were sleeping and I woke up, passed out and hit my head or something. How would you save me from possible death cause you cant hear me call for help?

To me that's just a shame cause there is technology today that can take care of that problem.
 

rockin'robin

Well-Known Member
I have been rejected several times for wearing ITE or BTE HAs. Its not fun to be rejected by anyone for any reason but I do know that its better to find out sooner than later.

What I mean by that is dating someone for a little while only to have them break up with you because of silly things like this one question-If you were sleeping and I woke up, passed out and hit my head or something. How would you save me from possible death cause you cant hear me call for help?

To me that's just a shame cause there is technology today that can take care of that problem.
:giggle:...that's really stupidity...(the question)....
 
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