Pls help me..
- Thread starter shel90
- Start date
Babyblue
New Member
- Joined
- Dec 19, 2007
- Messages
- 12,187
- Reaction score
- 5
Shel. Your child is expressing normal behaviors.
Like many have stated. You have to have patience, and stick to your guns.
Mine did that to me before. Due to she could not have a toy she wanted from the store. She started kicking and screaming. I went to pick her up she bit me on the shoulders, and head butted me. I just toted her little behind out of the store like a sack of potatoes, and strapped her little backside in the car seat. Went home. Got her home I put her in bed. I cried, and cried, all night. Thinking, the thoughts that you were having with your son. Thinking my kid is going to be mean and violent.... blah blah.
By the time she became Four. She settled down quite a bit. I had to learn not to give into her all the time. Stand my ground. She eventually understood that pitching a fit does not work. I rewarded her for positive behavior and ignored her negative ones.
She is now 12. A wonderful child.
Like many have stated. You have to have patience, and stick to your guns.
Mine did that to me before. Due to she could not have a toy she wanted from the store. She started kicking and screaming. I went to pick her up she bit me on the shoulders, and head butted me. I just toted her little behind out of the store like a sack of potatoes, and strapped her little backside in the car seat. Went home. Got her home I put her in bed. I cried, and cried, all night. Thinking, the thoughts that you were having with your son. Thinking my kid is going to be mean and violent.... blah blah.
By the time she became Four. She settled down quite a bit. I had to learn not to give into her all the time. Stand my ground. She eventually understood that pitching a fit does not work. I rewarded her for positive behavior and ignored her negative ones.
She is now 12. A wonderful child.
damienmommy
New Member
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2007
- Messages
- 375
- Reaction score
- 0
Wow, my son who's 3 years old is kinda same as ur son. I don't know how to make them stop do that. My son used to beat me up too. But now less, seems he stopped for few weeks since. He always punch my stomach which I am pregnant 8 months.
He used to share with any kids some of his toys all the times but now he seems become to be greedy and refused share with any kids.
My friend who's age of 40's, he was staff at my school. He saw my son had a bad attitude and bad temper at the swim pool when i tried to get him out of pool cuz it's time to go home. So my friend said wow he is exactly same as his dad's personality cuz his dad have hot temper too. Maybe son will have that forever, same as his dad.
He used to share with any kids some of his toys all the times but now he seems become to be greedy and refused share with any kids.
My friend who's age of 40's, he was staff at my school. He saw my son had a bad attitude and bad temper at the swim pool when i tried to get him out of pool cuz it's time to go home. So my friend said wow he is exactly same as his dad's personality cuz his dad have hot temper too. Maybe son will have that forever, same as his dad.
how about time out? i do that whenever my son wont listen to my "NO!" LOL it doesnt happen often... only when hes really determined and it will be dangerous to him.
how long time out is how old the kid... for example my son is 1 year old so i just hold him with arms being wrapped around so he couldnt move freely for just one minute then i hugged him and showed him what is a no no then prays he understands *chuckles*
my sister put her 8 years old son in time out in car for 8 minutes whenever he cries in public area. she just drop everything, picked both kids and then put boy in car and said time out! then she talks to her daughter during waiting outside the car. once time out's over... she always asks her son if he understand why he got time out and have him explain the rules to her again before they all 3 goes back to store or wahtever.
first week she did that like 10 times in a row but afterward... she hardly have to even scold her kids.
also remember when giving time out anywhere ... no toys, no distractions. make sure its boring for the kid but not harmful.
how long time out is how old the kid... for example my son is 1 year old so i just hold him with arms being wrapped around so he couldnt move freely for just one minute then i hugged him and showed him what is a no no then prays he understands *chuckles*
my sister put her 8 years old son in time out in car for 8 minutes whenever he cries in public area. she just drop everything, picked both kids and then put boy in car and said time out! then she talks to her daughter during waiting outside the car. once time out's over... she always asks her son if he understand why he got time out and have him explain the rules to her again before they all 3 goes back to store or wahtever.
first week she did that like 10 times in a row but afterward... she hardly have to even scold her kids.
also remember when giving time out anywhere ... no toys, no distractions. make sure its boring for the kid but not harmful.
- Joined
- Jun 10, 2009
- Messages
- 6,634
- Reaction score
- 3
I second the positive reinforcement idea. Getting positive attention works well. Kids like stickers, a trip to the park, a Happy Meal, etc.
Also, kids this age cannot handle frustration well. Know you kids limits. If a kid cannot take a trip to the supermarket, go when you can shop alone (mine didn't go if I could help it!). If your kid can handle grocery shopping, include them in the shopping. Would you like some bananas? Pick out a good bunch for us.
Take toys and books when your child has to wait (like at the drs. office, a restaurant, etc.). Wikki sticks are great and fit in your purse (wax sticks that you use to make things). Play dough is helpful. At pizza places, you can ask for a small ball of dough for you child (which they are usually glad to provide). A small toy with magnetic pieces travels well and keeps kids occupied.
Plan for car rides. I used to keep DumDums in my car for traffic jams. That was a life saver a couple of times. Stickers on the car seats are awesome. I used to get stickers that look like coins so that my kid could practice identifying money. He loved that and it kept him occupied. You can find a sticker of just about anything. My kids liked animal stickers, dinosaur stickers, flags stickers, etc. Kids music CDs are good. If you're fortunate enough to have a DVD player in your vehicle, your trip will be more pleasant. Spongebob rocks in the car!
Always give the child a choice so that he/she feels like he/she has some control. Do you want to wear the red shirt or the blue shirt? Do you want Kix or Cheerios for breakfast? Do you want to go to the park or the library? Do you want Bubble Gum flavor or Fruit flavored toothpaste? Don't tell the kid flat out to do something! This invites rebellion. Just ask an alternative. Trust me, it works!
Transitions are tough at this age. Always give a 5 minute call. We're leaving in 5 minutes. I helps if you coordinate leaving with another child. Look, Johnny is leaving. It's time for everyone to leave now. Talk about how much fun it was. What was your favorite part of the birthday party? What was your favorite part of playing in the park?
My kids like to know what the agenda is for the day. Tomorrow we're going to do X then Y then Z. When the day arrives, we're going to do X then Y then Z. They like to know what to expect. To the extent that it's possible, let your child have input into planning the schedule. It teaches the child responsibility and time management.
It gets easier as the child can tolerate frustration and amuse himself/herself. It takes a long time. The goal is to help children make good choices, including how the child expressed frustration and anger. Sometimes, a good pillow fight is the answer!
Also, kids this age cannot handle frustration well. Know you kids limits. If a kid cannot take a trip to the supermarket, go when you can shop alone (mine didn't go if I could help it!). If your kid can handle grocery shopping, include them in the shopping. Would you like some bananas? Pick out a good bunch for us.
Take toys and books when your child has to wait (like at the drs. office, a restaurant, etc.). Wikki sticks are great and fit in your purse (wax sticks that you use to make things). Play dough is helpful. At pizza places, you can ask for a small ball of dough for you child (which they are usually glad to provide). A small toy with magnetic pieces travels well and keeps kids occupied.
Plan for car rides. I used to keep DumDums in my car for traffic jams. That was a life saver a couple of times. Stickers on the car seats are awesome. I used to get stickers that look like coins so that my kid could practice identifying money. He loved that and it kept him occupied. You can find a sticker of just about anything. My kids liked animal stickers, dinosaur stickers, flags stickers, etc. Kids music CDs are good. If you're fortunate enough to have a DVD player in your vehicle, your trip will be more pleasant. Spongebob rocks in the car!
Always give the child a choice so that he/she feels like he/she has some control. Do you want to wear the red shirt or the blue shirt? Do you want Kix or Cheerios for breakfast? Do you want to go to the park or the library? Do you want Bubble Gum flavor or Fruit flavored toothpaste? Don't tell the kid flat out to do something! This invites rebellion. Just ask an alternative. Trust me, it works!
Transitions are tough at this age. Always give a 5 minute call. We're leaving in 5 minutes. I helps if you coordinate leaving with another child. Look, Johnny is leaving. It's time for everyone to leave now. Talk about how much fun it was. What was your favorite part of the birthday party? What was your favorite part of playing in the park?
My kids like to know what the agenda is for the day. Tomorrow we're going to do X then Y then Z. When the day arrives, we're going to do X then Y then Z. They like to know what to expect. To the extent that it's possible, let your child have input into planning the schedule. It teaches the child responsibility and time management.
It gets easier as the child can tolerate frustration and amuse himself/herself. It takes a long time. The goal is to help children make good choices, including how the child expressed frustration and anger. Sometimes, a good pillow fight is the answer!
Most members on this thread had provided some great tips. 
Temper tantrums are very common at the age of 1 to 4. Patience is the key just like what rockin'robin and BabyBlue had stated.
Your son may be either tired, hungry, unconformable, feeling jealousy, feeling that he isn't getting enough attention, feeling frustrated or just bored. A time out discipline may work, whatever you do, don't give in to his temper tantrums. Just stand firm, consistent and calm as possible. I know the "hitting", "punching" and "kicking" hurts, I've been there before.
Temper tantrums are very common at the age of 1 to 4. Patience is the key just like what rockin'robin and BabyBlue had stated.
Your son may be either tired, hungry, unconformable, feeling jealousy, feeling that he isn't getting enough attention, feeling frustrated or just bored. A time out discipline may work, whatever you do, don't give in to his temper tantrums. Just stand firm, consistent and calm as possible. I know the "hitting", "punching" and "kicking" hurts, I've been there before.
Our nephew was like that I guess and he was diagnosied bi-polar. He is 7 now and is on medicine. No more voilent behavior. Sad. I am sorry about your son is going thru. and hopefully he does not have it alike our nephew. He had terrible tatnrrum since 2. Now he is much better and calm down with medicine.
Consider this, try to get to the root of the problem to begin with. Prevent his tantrums by looking for warning signs when things start to get out of hand. For instance, your son was starting to get frustrated as a result of the boy not sharing the ball. At this point (especially when he is still calm), take him aside for a timeout and EXPLAIN why he can not force the boy to give up his ball and suggest an alternative behavior - such as leaving the boy alone and doing something else like the games he was playing. Positive reinforcement plays a role here, if he abides by your suggestion, praise him, or perhaps with another game, treat, etc. (I know, works with dogs, though young kids respond pretty well to the same correction also ) If he does not, then the fun is over. This idea is not something that will help overnight, it needs to be constantly done until your son gets the idea. If to no avail, a behavioral specialist may help. Good luck!
) If he does not, then the fun is over. This idea is not something that will help overnight, it needs to be constantly done until your son gets the idea. If to no avail, a behavioral specialist may help. Good luck!
sara1981
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Apr 5, 2004
- Messages
- 7,871
- Reaction score
- 71
i watch nanny 911 you never heard this show before.. But its good for show and also parent tips to listen from nanny but i havent website of nanny 911
mostly kids complain for anythings and mom got nightmares for more reasons what needs and i knew kids wanted candy or cookies but mom says NO!! dues weight reasons
some kids always calm and no complain or whin know what do or dont..
mostly kids complain for anythings and mom got nightmares for more reasons what needs and i knew kids wanted candy or cookies but mom says NO!! dues weight reasons
some kids always calm and no complain or whin know what do or dont..
inspirabull
New Member
- Joined
- Nov 11, 2008
- Messages
- 432
- Reaction score
- 0
A story
Many years ago I worked with a fellow in the oil fields. He was incredibly physically strong. He did not look like a body builder or something just sturdy. He could pick up a full barrel of diesel and put it in the back of a pickup without straining. The other truly amazing thing about him- he was the most good natured of fellows all the time. I really admired the guy as someone to learn from. One day I asked him how he kept such a genuine and easy disposition. He told me this story: "When I was a young boy we were dirt poor in Louisiana. We had a little patch of land a garden and a cow. I was always a strong kid and even then I knew I did not feel pain quite as much as other kids. I remember one time running to school barefoot and I caught my big toenail wrong on a root- ripped it right off and just hopped a couple times and kept going, it didn't bother me. So I kind of knew from things like that I was a little different. Like all boys I would get frustrated with things and get mad, well one day I was around eleven I took that milk cow of ours over to the neighbors pasture. For some reason only cows know she gotten stubborn and wouldn't go through that gate. I pushed and pulled and hollered at her and she just wouldn't go an' I got madder and madder finally I hauled off and hit her in the side. That poor cow fell over dead right there. Wan't breathing, wasn't moving, she was dead. I stood there looking at 'er all eleven years old of me. That cow was all we had. An' I just killed 'er. Finally I knew I had to go tell ma. I ran home and said, ma I kilt the cow! We went right back out there, her and I, and I tol' her about how it happened. How I had hit her just one time with my fist and all. As we walked up to her that cow just started to move a little. She rolled around and slowly slowly staggered to her feet.
And right there out in that hardscrabble patch field with that poor cow there trying to get her senses back, my ma had a talk with me. She said son I am telling you right here and right now that you will not cannot be like other boys. You don't dare ever hit another any thing an animal or a person. It just has to be that way. The only way you can make sure that never ever happens is to never ever git mad. Never ag'in. Never ag'in. An' I heard her loud and clear.
Something about what you are going through brought Mark's story of how he came to be so good natured back to my mind. Probably doesn't relate, but there it is.
I worked with Mark for several years, until he retired and went back to Louisiana. During that time I saw him be tested by life more than anybody should. Always admired him.
Many years ago I worked with a fellow in the oil fields. He was incredibly physically strong. He did not look like a body builder or something just sturdy. He could pick up a full barrel of diesel and put it in the back of a pickup without straining. The other truly amazing thing about him- he was the most good natured of fellows all the time. I really admired the guy as someone to learn from. One day I asked him how he kept such a genuine and easy disposition. He told me this story: "When I was a young boy we were dirt poor in Louisiana. We had a little patch of land a garden and a cow. I was always a strong kid and even then I knew I did not feel pain quite as much as other kids. I remember one time running to school barefoot and I caught my big toenail wrong on a root- ripped it right off and just hopped a couple times and kept going, it didn't bother me. So I kind of knew from things like that I was a little different. Like all boys I would get frustrated with things and get mad, well one day I was around eleven I took that milk cow of ours over to the neighbors pasture. For some reason only cows know she gotten stubborn and wouldn't go through that gate. I pushed and pulled and hollered at her and she just wouldn't go an' I got madder and madder finally I hauled off and hit her in the side. That poor cow fell over dead right there. Wan't breathing, wasn't moving, she was dead. I stood there looking at 'er all eleven years old of me. That cow was all we had. An' I just killed 'er. Finally I knew I had to go tell ma. I ran home and said, ma I kilt the cow! We went right back out there, her and I, and I tol' her about how it happened. How I had hit her just one time with my fist and all. As we walked up to her that cow just started to move a little. She rolled around and slowly slowly staggered to her feet.
And right there out in that hardscrabble patch field with that poor cow there trying to get her senses back, my ma had a talk with me. She said son I am telling you right here and right now that you will not cannot be like other boys. You don't dare ever hit another any thing an animal or a person. It just has to be that way. The only way you can make sure that never ever happens is to never ever git mad. Never ag'in. Never ag'in. An' I heard her loud and clear.
Something about what you are going through brought Mark's story of how he came to be so good natured back to my mind. Probably doesn't relate, but there it is.
I worked with Mark for several years, until he retired and went back to Louisiana. During that time I saw him be tested by life more than anybody should. Always admired him.