"Oh, you speak so well!" and other annoying comments

I don't know if this should be post here, but:

My roommate and I went to McDonalds this weekend. I hate McDonalds - it smells like grease so much that my clothes smell like it all day. But she is a McDonalds nut. She is taking a ASL class and we were signing in line for a counter. A family with kids about 10 year old and 13 year old were behind us. When we went home my roommate told me that the older kid nods at us and said "those people (us) don't look retarded" and his mom said "don't talk about retarded people when they can hear you". I didn't hear or see them say this, but she doesn't lie about anything - more brutal truths than lies, with a sweet and funny manner.

:jaw:

I was so embarassed and mad. Then we talked and I saw humorous parts (being angry does nothing but make you negative - the family was gone), but so wrong for so many reasons! I know - one family in millions. But I never thought this before. Do many hearing people think HoH/deaf are just retarded hearing???? Everytime I think of this I have to stop the anger and embarassment.

The boy and mom::crazy: Me: :confused::dizzy:
 
This happens to me more times than I can count. I would be talking with someone I have never talked to before. About what ever it is that we were talking about and I am following what they are saying well enough. Invariably at some point in the conversation usually somewhere between the 5 and 10 minute mark. The person would end up saying something that I just can't understand. I would ask them to repeat and then again a couple times eventually I would give up and have them write it down.

What I read on the paper is:

"You read lips very well."
 
Buffalo said:
Shall we start to associate inability to sign with stupidity? If they know, they would object to it big time.
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Make this as a basis to introduce a petition for a political change to ban 'specialist teachers' who can't sign
 
The thing I hate the most is the general attitude of my hearing peers - at high school and in college, everyone's very social and whatnot, so obviously, you have people coming up to you all the time saying "hi" and making small talk. After a while of conversing, I have to ask them to [insert accommodating gesture here, ie. speak up, speak clearly, face me, etc] because I'm deaf. The conversation sort of concludes with, "oh, really?" and some more happy friendliness, but with a bit of an awkward touch. And that's the last time they talk to you ever... although they occasionally smile and wave when you pass them in the halls.

Secondly what bothers me is when people think I'm FAKING IT. AAAAARGH. I was on the bus last week and there was a problem with my bus ticket (it was Concession, ie. 75 cents cheaper than a regular ticket and I didn't have valid ID with me), so the bus driver stopped me and said something. I got a little bit, but I had to keep asking for a repeat. Since he was driving, he obviously couldn't face me, and the bus was REALLY loud. I obviously couldn't ask him to write something down on paper while he was driving, so I just tried to explain that I'm deaf and I don't have any change to upgrade my ticket. I figured his option was either to kick me off the bus before I got to my stop or to just let me stay. He said a bunch of different things, which I'm assuming was neither of those, but he also looked at me when I first told him of my deafness. The kind of "yeah right, like I've never heard that before" eye-rolling look. He didn't make any attempt to speak up after that, although I'm not sure what he could have done, so it's hard to tell. There have been other instances where I know for sure that people thought I was lying/faking it when I said I was deaf. I have near-perfect speech (my only speech impediment is not linked with my hearing loss) and was hearing until I was about 9 years old so I guess it's understandable, but, still...
 
seki900 said:
This happens to me more times than I can count. I would be talking with someone I have never talked to before. About what ever it is that we were talking about and I am following what they are saying well enough. Invariably at some point in the conversation usually somewhere between the 5 and 10 minute mark. The person would end up saying something that I just can't understand. I would ask them to repeat and then again a couple times eventually I would give up and have them write it down.

What I read on the paper is:

"You read lips very well."
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The last line being the kicker cracked me up!!!
 
Wow, I don't know what to begin with to talk about my experiences with people in my life tells those stuff. It is annoying and middle school was the hardest for me because every student were preppy and white. Few of them would make fun of me and my classmates at lunch time and actually robbed us for money to take advangte as well. When I entered High School, I thought to myself " I hope I don't get to be treated like a dirt like back then in Middle School". Those students from High School came from different backgrounds and their own nationality so they were understanding about our deafness which was great. One thing that is negative which is that there will always be a every time for a person to say things like that till we die.

One thing bothered me beside other things from my whole life from a person that said to me in High School. You want to know what she said to me? I was in my english class during that time, I was speaking with my interpreter that I can't wait to get my license for driving, she was sitting next to me and said " I thought Deaf people can't drive". That makes me mad and said " No they can, it's not againest the law and you know what, deaf people are better drivers than hearing people because they don't get distracted by noises."

I hope there will be a common sense in everyones minds by then so they don't have to ask annoying questions and act like deaf world is from outer space.. gosh lol

Melissa
 
Tousi said:
The last line being the kicker cracked me up!!!
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It is funny. But annoying at the same time because the person doing that just changed the topic suddenly without warning. The third time that it happen I found the perfect line to follow up with which is:

"Apparently not."
 
I can't believe some of the comments that you guys have mentioned that hearing people do say. Yes, some of them are very rude. VamPyroX, I agree with you though that sometimes it is just a simple misunderstanding. Sometimes people just aren't very well educated. My son has a CI and I have so many comments on it because people don't know what it is. Someone asked if it was a microphone or a bluetooth headset for a cell phone. Honestly, why would my three year old have a cell phone?!? But I have to remember that we live in a small area and so not many people have seen someone with a CI. Many people were surprised when he had hearing aids at 2years old.

Also, someone made a comment about wanting blue hearing aids. I think that it is great that you would want to show off your new hearing aids. My son is blonde as well and everyone asks why we picked a black CI, and a silver CI. Our response was simply that the beige one was ugly. But why should he be ashamed of it? We are glad of the decision we made and we are not going to try to hide it.

Just my two cents on everything
 
seki900 said:
It is funny. But annoying at the same time because the person doing that just changed the topic suddenly without warning. The third time that it happen I found the perfect line to follow up with which is:

"Apparently not."
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:lol:
 
seki900 said:
This happens to me more times than I can count. I would be talking with someone I have never talked to before. About what ever it is that we were talking about and I am following what they are saying well enough. Invariably at some point in the conversation usually somewhere between the 5 and 10 minute mark. The person would end up saying something that I just can't understand. I would ask them to repeat and then again a couple times eventually I would give up and have them write it down.

What I read on the paper is:

"You read lips very well."
Click to expand...

This one really made me laugh! Sure, we have faced so many ignorant comments made by hearing people. They really don't realize that we do have the ability to do things that we can do like hearing people do. They just don't realize that not all of us have the same ability to read lips, speak well, or understand everything. Our performance has nothing to do with deafness!!!!
One of my mother's pet peeve when people ask her if i could be able to read or write? her reply was Why do you think she is in school for? that stopped them from asking any more questions!

we will always face to hear the comments made by hearing people!. we just let it go and laugh with them! That will make them feel better!
 
yesterday, my class went on a field trip to the farm. Before entering the parking lot, an attentant stopped us so I went to inquire what was going on. She asked me if we were from this school and I said yes. One of my students using her voice asked loudly what was going on. The lady heard her and asked me why is a hearing child going to a deaf school? I told her that she is deaf and she was like "That's impossible..I dont believe you." I was like ok whatever...should I say "Yes, we have hearing kids going to the deaf school." or what? :giggle:
 
i Had some professional painters in my place to repair teh bathrooms wall. I was minding my own business, making lunch, cleaning, reading books and so on. Halfway through their job, the Boos, came out for a chat, asking me whats' im studying about so I explained and said it is a challenge. then he asked me if how long was I deaf? I said i was born deaf. He was taken aback alittle, then remarked " you do a lot , like cooking , mowing lawn," ....... geeez i couldnt believe what i heard, now this is like hes assuming MOST deaf cant do those very simple task, that's just crazy. incredibally old fashioned, i felt like throttling him! I jsut said back i cant mow lawn, as I have a mower, but i hire a mower to keep grass lol.

I just let it go, there are some time not worth wasting your breath on, I mean like he is in the vinicity of 60-70 years old. Not retired yet.
I guess that is typical.
 
Grummer said:
i Had some professional painters in my place to repair teh bathrooms wall. I was minding my own business, making lunch, cleaning, reading books and so on. Halfway through their job, the Boos, came out for a chat, asking me whats' im studying about so I explained and said it is a challenge. then he asked me if how long was I deaf? I said i was born deaf. He was taken aback alittle, then remarked " you do a lot , like cooking , mowing lawn," ....... geeez i couldnt believe what i heard, now this is like hes assuming MOST deaf cant do those very simple task, that's just crazy. incredibally old fashioned, i felt like throttling him! I jsut said back i cant mow lawn, as I have a mower, but i hire a mower to keep grass lol.

I just let it go, there are some time not worth wasting your breath on, I mean like he is in the vinicity of 60-70 years old. Not retired yet.
I guess that is typical.
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I'd add that I am not a virgin either! I kinda like shocking peeps like that, and it's nice if we all can laugh at that afterwards.
 
Grummer said:
i Had some professional painters in my place to repair teh bathrooms wall. I was minding my own business, making lunch, cleaning, reading books and so on. Halfway through their job, the Boos, came out for a chat, asking me whats' im studying about so I explained and said it is a challenge. then he asked me if how long was I deaf? I said i was born deaf. He was taken aback alittle, then remarked " you do a lot , like cooking , mowing lawn," ....... geeez i couldnt believe what i heard, now this is like hes assuming MOST deaf cant do those very simple task, that's just crazy. incredibally old fashioned, i felt like throttling him! I jsut said back i cant mow lawn, as I have a mower, but i hire a mower to keep grass lol.

I just let it go, there are some time not worth wasting your breath on, I mean like he is in the vinicity of 60-70 years old. Not retired yet.
I guess that is typical.
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It so funny that we the (deaf and hard of hearing} have to "HEAR" that crap all the time.
 
Grummer said:
i Had some professional painters in my place to repair teh bathrooms wall. I was minding my own business, making lunch, cleaning, reading books and so on. Halfway through their job, the Boos, came out for a chat, asking me whats' im studying about so I explained and said it is a challenge. then he asked me if how long was I deaf? I said i was born deaf. He was taken aback alittle, then remarked " you do a lot , like cooking , mowing lawn," ....... geeez i couldnt believe what i heard, now this is like hes assuming MOST deaf cant do those very simple task, that's just crazy. incredibally old fashioned, i felt like throttling him! I jsut said back i cant mow lawn, as I have a mower, but i hire a mower to keep grass lol.

I just let it go, there are some time not worth wasting your breath on, I mean like he is in the vinicity of 60-70 years old. Not retired yet.
I guess that is typical.
Click to expand...

Yah, I can relate to that. I've had to fight my own parents so I can vacuum stuff and other simple tasks without them helping me.
 
Liza said:
I'd add that I am not a virgin either! I kinda like shocking peeps like that, and it's nice if we all can laugh at that afterwards.
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:laugh2: Thanks Liza I'll save that line for next time.
 
sweetangelmama said:
I hope there will be a common sense in everyones minds by then so they don't have to ask annoying questions and act like deaf world is from outer space.. gosh lol

Melissa
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Maybe us Deaf people are really from outer space.... you ever see a drawing of an alien.... big head... big eyes....small mouth..... NO EARS!! Just joking! :giggle:
 
Please don't get offended, this is just an idea/concept that hearing people see it as.

Many deaf people tend to talk through their noses, or at least that's what it sounds like. It sounds nasally. So when they run across someone who speech isn't as nasally. Another thing is due to the nasal sound, it makes people sound not as smart, ergo they think that the person who is talking to them is stupid.

Once again, please don't get offended.
 
ladycaissa said:
Please don't get offended, this is just an idea/concept that hearing people see it as.

Many deaf people tend to talk through their noses, or at least that's what it sounds like. It sounds nasally. So when they run across someone who speech isn't as nasally. Another thing is due to the nasal sound, it makes people sound not as smart, ergo they think that the person who is talking to them is stupid.

Once again, please don't get offended.
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No offense to me.

You are right sometimes. I don't know if I have nasal sound so much, but I am hard to understand (I want to make hearing people work to understand :D). I was in class with a girl for a year. Then she heard I was a Math minor. She said "Really? I didn't know you were smart". ":ty:, Kind Hearing Girl." ;) Now we are friends and she says I didn't sound smart when talking - she wasn't mean, only honest. I explained that speech quality and intelligence are not the same.
 
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