My Song | Story of a girl stuck between the hearing and Deaf worlds

rebeccalj

New Member
Whoops :Oops: I misunderstood! The answer is 'No' that isn't me. I didn't any involvement with this film at all sadly. It would have been a honour if I had.

You could pretend. That way can say *know* movie star. :laugh2:
 

whatdidyousay!

Well-Known Member
Yes. It is a classic in my eyes. And gave such a wonderful portrayal of the family dynamics in a hearing family with a deaf child. Quite realistic.

When Ellen brother walked in on her it remind we of when my ex brother watched me getting out the shower as I could not hear him!! I have no idea how many times he did this ! It is a very moving movie.
 

whatdidyousay!

Well-Known Member
When I saw this I wanted to:
1. Slap the little brother silly - and wondered why mum didn't step in.
2. Find out why mum won't tell her boyfriend to speak clearly and stop covering his mouth?
3. Cry. And I am not one to cry easily at movies! But rejection and abandonment always hit the right trigger for me - it's too close to home.

I could relate to that part about the brother too well and know how much is hurt to be made fun of by your family . I did not sign but I was fun of because of my speech and I did not want to talk at home or school for fear of being picked on.
 

TWA

New Member
Premium Member
I watched this a while back but never added my comments. This is just a wonderful video, in all ways.

I love Charlie Swindbourne's work. He's a very important voice for the Deaf, and his writing and videos are always entertaining, funny, sad, and always spot on in all ways. I hope he is able to get a crack at something mainstream and large-scale audience soon.
 
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Audiofuzzy

Well-Known Member
Yes, this is very enthralling and thought provoking video.

It made me think of yet another side of deaf and Deaf and deafness.

I however am struggling with the idea of eradicating deafness to be
seen as evil.
Is it indeed?
IS IT?

because, and don't get me wrong, it is not like I think Deaf Culture and deafness is worthless- is it NOT!!,
but let's face it- it was created out of necessity.
It was created because the deafness happened.
There is not, for example a Xomax Culture because such thing does not exist - I hope you follow me in that.

Yes it is very very heartbreaking when ? Ben? (I really have bad memory) was the last deaf person in the whole word, and it sure was tragic, sad and lonely,
but my questions is - if there is a cure for deafness, if there is a way to prevent deafness before it happens - is deafness NECESSARY?

We are all deaf or HoH because a medical disorder happened to us
not because it is some race or nationality we are born into.
We have a slight disadvantage over the rest of fully abled population in that we can't hear.
This doesn't prevent us from achieving what we want, of course,
but again, let's not fool ourselves - it makes life very hard at times and achieving goals difficult - the "My Song" is the testament to it.

What if all the remaining deaf who wanted to stay deaf, stayed deaf without repercussions and received all the help they needed,
not like in the movie,

but every newborn was fully cured until there was no more deafness in the world?

Fuzzy
 

AJWSmith

New Member
You could pretend. That way can say *know* movie star. :laugh2:

rebeccalj - I discovered that one of the ladies on my intensive BSL course appeared in this film (she was sat next to the judge in a pink sweater and black scarf) so I can say that I know a movie star :giggle:
 

stueyyy

New Member
Sorry to say and I still feel the same way, while watching Im thinking, "you Dont really know whats like to be Acquired Totally Deaf" No sign language, not very good lip reading, Cant hear Grandchildren or family, it HARD WORK..

So I cant mix with Hearing world... And cant mix with deaf world as I've tried deaf clubs and where I have no sign language Im lost there to.

Maybe a wee film about "Welcome to my world of Acquired Totally Deaf" But it wont happen, why! because its what records say its rare to be Totally Deaf.

Yes I understand where the girl comes from at young age. But for those who have hearing Aids and when they removed they cant ANYTHING AT ALL. Be honest take them off for say 2 months, see how you get on with family, kids if you have any, grandchildren if you have any.

You know even my wife uses the hand gesture that many hearies do, wave and say oh never-mind. I do feel strongly about the Acquired Totally Deaf, In the UK its hard to find those people..

I found a guy on Face-book who lived close by me, he said he was Totally Deaf, and we met at place we both knew, he sat with Hearing Aids on and the next hour was Hell for me, he heard me I didn't him.he even asked me to lower my Voice lol.

Anyway as it stands with me, I keep my distance from many people now as I walk into brick walls, Im told my speech isnt very good, and then sometimes im told to lower my voice, I know I must talk very very loud as I end up with sore throat everyday nothing changes..But I soldier on I have to as its hard world out there. We are all different but seems like nobody SHOUTS About Acquired Totally Deaf People true ??
 
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GrayEagle

New Member
Wirelessly posted

Yes, I cried, too when I first saw this. And promptly sent the link on, especially friends & family who are fuly hearing. :P It says a lot about the struggles, and being between the worlds of hearing & Deaf, belonging nowhere. And rude people in both worlds who really need to get a clue. :(
 
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stueyyy

New Member
Totally Deaf

Wirelessly posted

Yes, I cried, too when I first saw this. And promptly sent the link on, especially friends & family who are fuly hearing. :P It says a lot about the struggles, and being between the worlds of hearing & Deaf, belonging nowhere. And rude people in both worlds who really need to get a clue. :(

Not Totally Deaf then to know what it really feels like....
 

Sares

Member
Premium Member
Thanks AJ for shairing

My song made me cry hitting close to home. Ellen could have been me. I have been there as well with a hearie family, BF, and others. The movie shows the lack of consideration buy hiding their mouth, turning away, and not speaking direct. Although Colin criticizing Ellen on stage was wrong as well, we all have sign that is only used to close family members, like hearing and their lovie words towards each other. As Ben at the club said “Every deaf person is different. Their family, their school.” Its called “Dialect” Things are different for all of us. More people should see this, deaf, hoh, hearing.
 

KristinaB

Emotional Mess
Premium Member
Not Totally Deaf then to know what it really feels like....

Stueyyy-

I am another of the few that is totally deaf. I am sorry you are finding the adjustment hard. If I am wrong in assuming that, please accept my apology for assuming. It's just, that in the posts I have seen of your, it seems that you are not really happy.

I am starting my 7th year being total deaf. I was hoh since birth with it getting steadily worse as time went on. I was 42 when I lost it all. I have no ear drums, no cochlea and almost no bones in the ear any longer and continue to lose the rest. The culprit for me, is excess calcium in the system.

While it was a hard adjustment for me, I do find a lot of positives. Yes, there are negatives as well, but I try hard not to dwell on them for long. Example? My son will be 17 next month, but I still hear the little 6-8 year old voice he had. I no longer can hear my husband's hushed terms of endearment. However, for the positives, I never had to listen to the bickering and arguing that goes between to teen-aged siblings, I have an 18 year old daughter. I live in flight path zone to an International Airport. While the windows may rattle and the floor vibrates, I am the only person in my neighborhood who does not hear the roar of the engines of these planes. I have worked hard to accept my lot in life. Could it be better? Yes, I'm sure it could be. Am I bitter? No, not really. There are a lot of people who have more to deal with than myself and have it harder. I can only do the best that I am physically, mentally and emotionally able to do. It may not be much in the eyes of some, but it might be an inspiration to someone else. I at least knew early in life, that at some point, I would be totally deaf, so it wasn't too much of a shock for me. Not many have that much notice. I was 7 or 10 when I was told. I never got to learn ASL as a child and I am trying hard to learn it now, but having so much going on at home, I can't devote enough time to learning it. All Deaf opened up a whole new world for me. I have gotten so much help here. I've also been smacked down when I really screwed up or said something wrong, but I like to think that I learn from my mistakes.

Well, I didn't mean to make this so long. I just wanted to let you know that I was thinking of you and the adjustments to life being total deaf.
 

stueyyy

New Member
:)

Stueyyy-

I am another of the few that is totally deaf. I am sorry you are finding the adjustment hard. If I am wrong in assuming that, please accept my apology for assuming. It's just, that in the posts I have seen of your, it seems that you are not really happy.

I am starting my 7th year being total deaf. I was hoh since birth with it getting steadily worse as time went on. I was 42 when I lost it all. I have no ear drums, no cochlea and almost no bones in the ear any longer and continue to lose the rest. The culprit for me, is excess calcium in the system.

While it was a hard adjustment for me, I do find a lot of positives. Yes, there are negatives as well, but I try hard not to dwell on them for long. Example? My son will be 17 next month, but I still hear the little 6-8 year old voice he had. I no longer can hear my husband's hushed terms of endearment. However, for the positives, I never had to listen to the bickering and arguing that goes between to teen-aged siblings, I have an 18 year old daughter. I live in flight path zone to an International Airport. While the windows may rattle and the floor vibrates, I am the only person in my neighborhood who does not hear the roar of the engines of these planes. I have worked hard to accept my lot in life. Could it be better? Yes, I'm sure it could be. Am I bitter? No, not really. There are a lot of people who have more to deal with than myself and have it harder. I can only do the best that I am physically, mentally and emotionally able to do. It may not be much in the eyes of some, but it might be an inspiration to someone else. I at least knew early in life, that at some point, I would be totally deaf, so it wasn't too much of a shock for me. Not many have that much notice. I was 7 or 10 when I was told. I never got to learn ASL as a child and I am trying hard to learn it now, but having so much going on at home, I can't devote enough time to learning it. All Deaf opened up a whole new world for me. I have gotten so much help here. I've also been smacked down when I really screwed up or said something wrong, but I like to think that I learn from my mistakes.

Well, I didn't mean to make this so long. I just wanted to let you know that I was thinking of you and the adjustments to life being total deaf.
Hello

Its didnt matter how long a message you sent I appreciated it very much, and yes I am finding it difficult very difficult, I wanted to go for a job so got wife to contact job centre plus to arrange a speech to text reporter, answer was sorry we dont use that Grrrr Im taking it further now as that was discrimination, what Im saying is everyday its a problem.

My hearing went many years ago, ive sort of gone through the motions so to speak, Deaf Totally in L ear, profound in R, at birth parralised on L side of face, Ive averaged 2 to 3 operations a year on both ears right up to Jan this year Ops seem neverending..But I think the killer was the C.Implant failing me. As it is I have Nothing in ears what so ever, had ear canals skin grafted over as no point Dr's looking there isnt anything to see :-(

I had Abcess on the Brain Twice Because discharge travelled to brain, I was 1st person in UK to have cavity built to stop discharge in L ear, they didnt do r ear but they did in the end when I had a 2nd abscess on brain caused by same thing only in R ear..I can honestly say Ive had every op possible up to Jan this this year..

Tinnitus Ive had since age 5 when i told Dr's then I had soldiers marching, but they didnt know about tinnitus thenm so they pumped me full of anti biotics lol. And my Tinnitus is 24/7 non stop Loud hiss L ear, and everything in R ear, it Never goes away..

I think I have coped pretty well myself but now its All come down on me as I think what Ops ive had and Im thinking blimey, Consultants even say I should write a book as its very readable they say . Im not a Book writer so I think I will pass on that.

I like you am trying to learn B.S.L pheew its hard..Always obstacles in our way isnt there Kristina ?

I went to Grandsons school play last week, wish I hadnt it hurt me not being able to hear him, I had a trickle go down my face, Woman next to me said it was good wasnt iot, I lip read that, If only she knew why I had a trickle.

I find it so so hard even indoors, every conversation is brief, Yes I do feel lost, what do I do, well apart from being positive as best I can, not a lot, I joined deaf club to find 1. obviusly they all sign and I couldnt keep up, 2. most had hearing aids on and were talking. 3. went to college to start learning B.S.L yep they all hearing people and I got annoyed at terp As I couldnt keep up, so I left.

I wont go on and on Kristina all I can do is keep trying and thank you for support..I guess you know to be Totally Deaf is rare and hardest thing to accept according medical records in UK?

You have a nice day and Im pleased I came back here to meet people like yourself, it helps :)
 
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