Life is confusing

BradB08

BradB08

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Any advice for someone who often feels confused?

While I can't imagine myself doing anything with a guy, I often have those thoughts. I know that having an experience with a guy in the past does not make one gay. However, I'm definitely open-minded to the possibility at least. I've been with plenty of women and I really enjoy it. However, I have a difficult time connecting with them other than through sex.

Gimme some pointers.
 
BradB08 said:
Any advice for someone who often feels confused?

While I can't imagine myself doing anything with a guy, I often have those thoughts. I know that having an experience with a guy in the past does not make one gay. However, I'm definitely open-minded to the possibility at least. I've been with plenty of women and I really enjoy it. However, I have a difficult time connecting with them other than through sex.

Gimme some pointers.
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I have had a group of friends over the years who felt the same as you. A few were gay and a few considered themself to be Bi sexual. They didn't believe that connection was about gender, but rather through spiritual and the soul. Like a soul mate. They believed that two souls could make connection regardless of the body they were in.

Don't know if this helps. I hope it can
 
While I can't imagine myself doing anything with a guy, I often have those thoughts. I know that having an experience with a guy in the past does not make one gay. However, I'm definitely open-minded to the possibility at least. I've been with plenty of women and I really enjoy it. However, I have a difficult time connecting with them other than through sex.
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Brad, as a bi woman the best advice I can give you is to forget about stuff like penises and vaginas and just concentrate on the person's personality. I can clearly remember just a few months before I fell in love with a girl for the first time, I had no clue about how girls had sex with girls.
Then I fell in love with Maureen and all became clear.
I remember clearly I thought I just liked her as a best friend......then I started having fanasties about her and that freaked the shit out of me.
Hannah said that when she fell in love with a guy for the first time, she was also really confused. She likes people for who they are, not for the fact that they have a particualr piece of skin.
 
ask David Duchovny. He should be able to help you out.
 
KDM said:
I have had a group of friends over the years who felt the same as you. A few were gay and a few considered themself to be Bi sexual. They didn't believe that connection was about gender, but rather through spiritual and the soul. Like a soul mate. They believed that two souls could make connection regardless of the body they were in.

Don't know if this helps. I hope it can
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I agree with this one.

Don't focus on the gender of a person. Look into a person thru their personalities and whatever attracts you. Simply put, just BE yourself! :)
 
Jiro said:
ask David Duchovny. He should be able to help you out.
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Funny man.

Thanks for the advice folks. I usually try to look at personality first and I've found that I'm attracted to both men and women with good personalities.
 
A good healthy romantic relationship is the nautral evolvement of a good healthy friendship.
Although it is hard to tell why you like one of your best friends eroticly and another best friend just as a good friend.
 
I must admit that sexually, I find both genders to be attractive.

Spiritually? Not so much. I connect better with women.

Though there is a good friend of mine that is gay and I often think that he likes me more than he'll let on. I don't have a problem with it but he's just a really good guy to have as a friend.
 
Best piece of advice I gave myself- be in love with myself first. Why? I'm going to be around myself much around longer more than any spouse. Male or female.

Trust your heart. When it flutters, you will know he/she is the one.
 
Important, be honestly with yourself and what you like. If you don't like it, don't do it again and find something else that you might like ;)
 
I agree with what a lot of people are saying. People ask me all the time if I think that people are "born" gay, since it's such a huge issue these days. My answer is usually that I think people are gay for different reasons, but that I don't think any of it is a choice. The way I try to explain it is that there's more than just the physical side of things. Obviously what you are attracted to physically plays a huge role, but I think that people ignore the "dynamic" of a relationship. I spent a long time still saying that I was bi because I'm not really un-attracted to guys, before I realized that the dynamic of a relationship with a guy just didn't appeal to me.

I think that being bi-curious (which it sounds like you are) is fine. Think about the kinds of things that you want out of a relationship past just the physical aspects of your partner. If you could have that with a guy, and you met a guy like that who you found attractive, would you go for it? Try taking the emphasis off of the gender, and see if anything looks a little clearer. :)

Hope that helps! :wave:
 
BradB08 said:
Any advice for someone who often feels confused?

While I can't imagine myself doing anything with a guy, I often have those thoughts. I know that having an experience with a guy in the past does not make one gay. However, I'm definitely open-minded to the possibility at least. I've been with plenty of women and I really enjoy it. However, I have a difficult time connecting with them other than through sex.

Gimme some pointers.
Click to expand...

This is why I hate labels for sexuality, even though I understand why they exist.

Maybe you are just attracted to people, or souls, and genitals don't matter.

Just go with the flooooow =)
 
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