Left out of the fun again..

Booger_Bender

Booger_Bender

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Today my fiancee's best friend and her 4 kids including two other adults went to see the smurfs movie today. I was excluded because, "I'm deaf and wouldn't be worth the investment". Real shocker for Deaf people to not be able to watch a movie with everyone else. I thought ADA law was effective. :/
 
When you say you were excluded, do you mean they didn't invite you? Who told you that it wouldn't be worth the investment?

Does your local theater regularly have captioned movies available?

About the ADA, it depends. You can use the ADA to get captioned movies at the theater but you can't use it to change your friends' attitudes. That's the most sorry part. They should have let you decide whether or not it was worth the investment to you.

(Personally, as an adult, when it comes to missing a Smurfs movie, I would say count your blessings. :giggle: )
 
I know it does suck to have people decide what is best for you.
Have you told your fiancee how you feel about this? Has this happen other times when your fiancee when to movies when her friends? If this has you need to let your fiancee know that you're feeling left out of the fun. I know how you feel. I have something like happen with me right now.
 
Reba said:
When you say you were excluded, do you mean they didn't invite you? Who told you that it wouldn't be worth the investment?

Does your local theater regularly have captioned movies available?

About the ADA, it depends. You can use the ADA to get captioned movies at the theater but you can't use it to change your friends' attitudes. That's the most sorry part. They should have let you decide whether or not it was worth the investment to you.

(Personally, as an adult, when it comes to missing a Smurfs movie, I would say count your blessings. :giggle: )
Click to expand...

I do not think about seeing a Smurfs movie , it more about not feeling like he part of the group.
 
Yes this happens every time my fiancee goes to the cinema. She thinks I'm overreacting about going to the theater. I have gone to the theater before and I have asked also about closed captioning and all they did was say here is a headphone for the movie. I'm thinking HELLO! I'm Deaf.
No matter how you try to explain it to hearing people ( yes my fiancee is hearing) they never understand what it is like to have people tell you that going to the cinema is not worth the investment being deaf.
I was upset and hurt by it. Last time I told her how I felt all i got was an argument and being told to change my attitude quickly.

It feels like I have no rights no matter what status I have in the world. There's always someone to say you're not worth shit.
 
You need to have a long talk with your fiancé because this type of treatment shouldn't be tolerated. Especially from someone you plan to marry.
 
Reba said:
(Personally, as an adult, when it comes to missing a Smurfs movie, I would say count your blessings. :giggle: )
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^ :mad2:

I think you completely missed the point. I offered to go with the kids to see the movie. It's not about the smurfs movie at all but any movie to see. I'm excluded because of stereotype and ignorance. plain and simple.
 
Banjo said:
You need to have a long talk with your fiancé because this type of treatment shouldn't be tolerated. Especially from someone you plan to marry.
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I know what you mean. My fiancee is misguided about Deaf culture but I love her. It's complicated. Thing is, I have perfect speech yet 100% Deaf. I blend in with hearing society very easily. Often times I'm treated like an Ignorant hearing. It's sickening.
 
Booger_Bender said:
^ :mad2:

I think you completely missed the point. I offered to go with the kids to see the movie. It's not about the smurfs movie at all but any movie to see. I'm excluded because of stereotype and ignorance. plain and simple.
Click to expand...

Okay, you're hurt and angry by it. What will you do about it?
 
Booger_Bender said:
Yes this happens every time my fiancee goes to the cinema. She thinks I'm overreacting about going to the theater. I have gone to the theater before and I have asked also about closed captioning and all they did was say here is a headphone for the movie. I'm thinking HELLO! I'm Deaf.
No matter how you try to explain it to hearing people ( yes my fiancee is hearing) they never understand what it is like to have people tell you that going to the cinema is not worth the investment being deaf.
I was upset and hurt by it. Last time I told her how I felt all i got was an argument and being told to change my attitude quickly.

It feels like I have no rights no matter what status I have in the world. There's always someone to say you're not worth shit.
Click to expand...
To be honest, I'm surprised that the two of you are engaged. If she doesn't have more sensitivity and understanding about you and such basic life issues, then how will you both make it thru the trials and tribulations of marriage? This is not a good sign.

Two-way communication and mutual respect are essential for a good relationship.
 
Reba said:
To be honest, I'm surprised that the two of you are engaged. If she doesn't have more sensitivity and understanding about you and such basic life issues, then how will you both make it thru the trials and tribulations of marriage? This is not a good sign.

Two-way communication and mutual respect are essential for a good relationship.
Click to expand...

Agreed. Its just one of those things I gotta talk about. If I can't be respected, she's gone.
 
Do you invite your woman-to-be and her friends to your deaf events?
 
Communication really has to be a two-way street. That's really rude that she apparently told you not to come with the rest of the group when you wanted to go, is that basically what happened?

Someone who treated me like that wouldn't be a friend much longer, let alone a fiancee.
 
Banjo said:
You need to have a long talk with your fiancé because this type of treatment shouldn't be tolerated. Especially from someone you plan to marry.
Click to expand...

I was going to say that too, but I agree with 100%! If he made to feel left out now it not going to change when they'd married. I doubt that his fiancé and friends are going behave any difference once they're married. I think it's very rude that your fiancé is not making you feel like apart of her life. Have been to your fiancé 's parents for dinner yet and how did you feel there? Like Banjo
said you really need to have a very long talk with your with your fiancé and get everything out in the open before the big day come.
 
Booger_Bender said:
Agreed. Its just one of those things I gotta talk about. If I can't be respected, she's gone.
Click to expand...

Now you're talking my kind of talk! Right ON!! She does not sound like a very understanding person. If you have a child that deaf or HOH she does not sound like she would be an understanding mother.
 
Booger_Bender said:
Agreed. Its just one of those things I gotta talk about. If I can't be respected, she's gone.
Click to expand...

I'd be concerned with your last comment. Marriage is a contract and a commitment. To say 'she's gone' doesn't scream to me *real* commitment.

Besides, in your own words, you've already said that she do not respect you so why are you still there?

This is only going to get worse for you, IMHO. Past behaviour = future behaviour. I wouldn't put up with that shit for anyone let alone a fiancé.
 
rebeccalj said:
I'd be concerned with your last comment. Marriage is a contract and a commitment. To say 'she's gone' doesn't scream to me *real* commitment.

Besides, in your own words, you've already said that she do not respect you so why are you still there?

This is only going to get worse for you, IMHO. Past behaviour = future behaviour. I wouldn't put up with that shit for anyone let alone a fiancé.
Click to expand...

We're hearing only one side of the story, I would love to hear the fiancé
tell what she think about this. Does she not care or does she just not get it and it she willing to work on their relationship.
 
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