I'm still so confusing at the moment. I have no idea what type is right one and place so I can get the timing right. I believe this city where I am for uni is just crap because of poor attitude and discriminative against my conditions.
At this point, I'm beginning to see what's going on. I don't know how the aspie figures into this, as everyone is different and reacts accordingly. Craig Nicholls of The Vines comes to mind. Great guitarist and singer, but he can't handle the crowds after his meltdown on stage. I don't suppose I have it, but I generally don't like crowds in certain situations, especially at work because I feel like I'm surrounded by needy adult children who make much more than I do.
The other thing I'm seeing is that I'm seeing a certain uptightness in your approach in life that turns them off. I clearly see a sense of righteousness that judges how people are. Why do you say that the girls partying and playing on the beach are broken? Something might be said for the heavy drinking and drugs. But what's wrong with somersaults on the sand? That is simply being. Being human. To want to have fun and play is human. Where's the joy if you don't have fun? It's what we ought to be doing, not this corporate crap that people are worshipping as their savior to the big ticket to the fast road in life.
Now, my problem is different, in that I'm a woman who likes women. They just don't get me, because I grew up with a cavewoman mentality which is still strong in me today. There's a thread on here about me wondering about feralism. Because I was not socialized as manual deaf, but oral deaf, AFTER I was diagnosed to be profoundly deaf at seven and a half, I had gone through those years without normal language development and was not exposed to religion until it was well past too late to catch me, mentally. My worldview had already formed and set. To this day, I cannot explain what it is I experience, and it blocks me from so many things in life because my sense of being as I am is paramount, and for me to be a Christian, Buddhist, or whatever is really like asking me to be assimilated into that, just like Indians were after Contact in America. I'm very resistant to it. Because of this, I don't have very many common interests with most women, like church, drinking and bars, or eating out at restaurants very much. I'm not able to form relationships with these women because of how I grew up and turned out very different from other women. You could say that I was born thousands of years too late. I'm the kind of person who is quiet and doesn't mind communication silence once we have talked most things out in the course of our friendship. Maybe it's genetic behavior from my Indian ancestry, I don't know, but it seems perfectly okay to be able to sit next to a person, enjoy each other's presence without saying anything to one another for a very long time, just as humans did in the very distant past before language started to get underway. That is where I belong, and I have trouble dealing with the behaviors that are expected of me or the rituals that are practiced in modern society.
However, I will say that I have a friend whom I've known for several years, and we went to a rennie festival earlier this year, and we were camped out in my Jeep in the campgrounds and enjoyed three days at the festival. And boy, did she surprise me when she crawled into the Jeep after I had gone to sleep the first night! She turned me over and had her way with me! Pulled my panties off and threw them in my face. I, uhh didn't know the roll bars could be used as stirrups for my feet! It was like, "Wow, what is happening?"
We're good friends, and she had confessed that she couldn't stay married anymore because she felt confined and felt like she was dying in the married little by little every day. Basically, we're friends "with benefits." And there's nothing wrong with that.
Perhaps you might look at whether there is really any one right way to live life, because I'm probably old enough to be your mother, it seems from your college age, so I have had experience in breaking out of and growing out of a particular mindset. I have run into such people in the past, and I can see where it is a problem for the women who see clearly that it could be a problem for them.
Right now, you're young, and you have your whole adult life ahead of you. It's a heck of a lot more fun once you get away from school schedules and starting living on your own and setting up life the way you want. Have you thought about going out to the Northern Territory to get lost, sort things out, even learn to play didgeridoo (if you can)? I have learned to play didgeridoo because it appeals to the cave woman in me who has been classically trained in grade school and college as a drummer and bass guitarist. When I got to playing drums again about 9 years ago, I had resolved that I would break out of only playing the "right kind of music and playing the drums the right way." I really changed up how I play the drum set and really opened up my playing to levels I had never experienced in high school and played in a rock band for the first time. I have gone even further in trying to satisfy my cave woman by in turn running from western music altogether to a great degree, which is where the didgeridoo comes in. I know from experience that you're going to limit yourself if you tell yourself that there are only certain ways of doing things that are acceptable, or worse, hear someone else say it to you and believe it yourself. I did that twice, and I have kicked myself for it, but I learned the lesson for myself.
Good luck, young man. I understand you being a young horny buck. You see, there's that primal man in you, still, who wants some. Nothing wrong with that, or humans wouldn't have survived.
or you have their attention.
Hell yeah. So long as both parties know the score and agree with it, it's often a great way of coping with being single and getting your affection bar (think of The Sims) filled up without being in a proper relationship. Glad that's working for you.
