it's crazy world

lemur

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hello all, ever have a parents that controlling u just cuz u are deaf. i was only deaf in last in 5 family. this was in the 50's, it's not an easy world which there was no such things as child abuse. mom didn't want to be pregnant and when i was born, she's abandon me. an alcoholic dad and my oldest sis took care of me. i lost my hearing from virus of german measles. i felt bad for my oldest sis cuz she's was young to care for me. after mom passed away, i get very angry about losing my hearing. before she died, she's asked me to forgive her. my husband said she was crazy and it's wasn't her fault. so i did. but before my oldest sis passed away, she's told me few things that i was a mistake and that parents didn't love me. why can't they just give me up for adoption. i want to take back the forgiving. mom knew all along what she did wrong. so did dad, he knew he was dying and he read the bible. i said u can't be forgiving. he said god can forgive. what a crap. so they can do whatever they want and let themselves be forgiving. my parents said u aren't deaf then why did i lost my hearing? they can't accept my hearing loss and they are the blame for it. i praised those others who have a good parents and work out the helping with their hearing loss. i disown my sister and brother, they are more like my parents. i missed my oldest sis who passed away and i still have a brother who in another state. he kept his distance from our parents. i struggle with my life from abuse and dealing with my hearing loss. those who have been thru this, don't ever allow your parents to control u. stand on your feet and say, it's my life. i do whatever i want. i didn't and wish i could, mom will hit me if i said those words. this was in 50's. now that change. if u love your parents then i am just trying to show u that u can face the world. there wasn't no love in my family. it's felt good to let it out but i still felt hurt. hope u all have a good day. :shock:
 
:welcome:

I'm sorry that you had such a rough childhood. I hope that your adult life was better, and that your time here at AllDeaf will be a positive experience for you.
 
:welcome: to AllDeaf Forum. I am glad you let your emotional rant out so that you can feel better about yourself. I hope you will some peace and friendship from members of the AllDeaf here. Take a deep breathe and relax. I hope you enjoy reading and posting here. See you around here. :wave:
 
welcome....I had similar parents and I about your age yes every so often the anger wells up in me but you have let go what done can't be undone don't let it control your future
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thank everyone i know it's tough. my husband and children helped me a lot. my daughter got a degree in psychology and she helped me too. they know that my parents are crazy. i never treated them like my parents did. giving them freedom and love them as much as possible.
 
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