It bothers me when a deaf person ask me

Reba

Retired Terp
Premium Member
Just a point of clarification... I don't ask if they work. I openly assume they do by asking so... what do you do?
Yes, in the hearing world that's typical, too.

Typical ice breakers (depending on the setting and other person's age):

Weather comments.

Traffic comments.

Work, school, retired?

Family (children, grandchildren)?

Live where?

From where?

Church?

Car, motorcycle?

Sports
 

Reba

Retired Terp
Premium Member
Hearing people can be rude to each other, too.

One day I was out front working in my yard. This was shortly after we had done extensive landscaping, including installing brick paver walkways. We bought our materials carefully, as we could afford them, and did all the physical labor ourselves. It took months and nearly killed our bodies but we did it.

Anyway, another neighbor walking by made a comment to me about our yard. (I was used to people either complimenting the yard or teasing me about doing their yards.) However, this person said to me, "Someone must have died," implying that we got some inheritance money and had it professionally landscaped. I was shocked!

Even if that had been true, that was a terrible thing to say.
 

Frisky Feline

Well-Known Member
Hearing people can be rude to each other, too.

One day I was out front working in my yard. This was shortly after we had done extensive landscaping, including installing brick paver walkways. We bought our materials carefully, as we could afford them, and did all the physical labor ourselves. It took months and nearly killed our bodies but we did it.

Anyway, another neighbor walking by made a comment to me about our yard. (I was used to people either complimenting the yard or teasing me about doing their yards.) However, this person said to me, "Someone must have died," implying that we got some inheritance money and had it professionally landscaped. I was shocked!

Even if that had been true, that was a terrible thing to say.


That was not nice. what did you reply to this person?
 

Smithtr

G.G.H.T
Premium Member
Sometimes person bother all the time harass not nice me, person alway insult me

It is boring to me. I tried Said that is enough.. that point! example. People have stubborn alway immatures! people have doesn't understand point language! people have troubles frustrated. It is very careful bother all the times routine cycle!
 
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shel90

Audist are not welcome
Premium Member
Hearing people can be rude to each other, too.

One day I was out front working in my yard. This was shortly after we had done extensive landscaping, including installing brick paver walkways. We bought our materials carefully, as we could afford them, and did all the physical labor ourselves. It took months and nearly killed our bodies but we did it.

Anyway, another neighbor walking by made a comment to me about our yard. (I was used to people either complimenting the yard or teasing me about doing their yards.) However, this person said to me, "Someone must have died," implying that we got some inheritance money and had it professionally landscaped. I was shocked!

Even if that had been true, that was a terrible thing to say.


Wow..that's a very unusual thing for anyone to say. Strange person, I guess.
 

whatdidyousay!

Well-Known Member
People ask questions like to start some small talk. If I feel someone is asking me too many personal questions I just start asking them the same questions or asking if they're planning on writing a book about me!
 

whatdidyousay!

Well-Known Member
Yes, in the hearing world that's typical, too.

Typical ice breakers (depending on the setting and other person's age):

Weather comments.

Traffic comments.

Work, school, retired?

Family (children, grandchildren)?

Live where?

From where?

Church?

Car, motorcycle?

Sports

Yeah the person is trying to find out if you have anything in common with them. It only take about 5 minutes to know if you want to talk to a new person any longer.
 

whatdidyousay!

Well-Known Member
Hearing people can be rude to each other, too.

One day I was out front working in my yard. This was shortly after we had done extensive landscaping, including installing brick paver walkways. We bought our materials carefully, as we could afford them, and did all the physical labor ourselves. It took months and nearly killed our bodies but we did it.

Anyway, another neighbor walking by made a comment to me about our yard. (I was used to people either complimenting the yard or teasing me about doing their yards.) However, this person said to me, "Someone must have died," implying that we got some inheritance money and had it professionally landscaped. I was shocked!

Even if that had been true, that was a terrible thing to say.

You could had said to your neighbor "I took life insurance out on you."
 

LadyAbigail

New Member
Hearing people can be rude to each other, too.

One day I was out front working in my yard. This was shortly after we had done extensive landscaping, including installing brick paver walkways. We bought our materials carefully, as we could afford them, and did all the physical labor ourselves. It took months and nearly killed our bodies but we did it.

Anyway, another neighbor walking by made a comment to me about our yard. (I was used to people either complimenting the yard or teasing me about doing their yards.) However, this person said to me, "Someone must have died," implying that we got some inheritance money and had it professionally landscaped. I was shocked!

Even if that had been true, that was a terrible thing to say.

At least she thought it looked like an expensive professional job that you did. :) Maybe she was trying to be funny? I'm an optimist. :P
 

Babyblue

New Member
Wirelessly posted

rockin'robin said:
It sort of irked me too...when I just met a deafie and am asked about my job (where I worked)....even asking so many questions and I just met them....then again, some hearing people do the same...

I bought groceries one day, leaving the store with 1 of my sons and the cart was jammed packed full (as I had 3 boys)...met a deafie in the parking lot...and she said..."Wow!...you must be rich!"...(grocery cart full)...I took it with a grain of salt....after all, 3 boys to feed.....*(and thinking to myself...."she must be an idiot!")*.

We would be rich, if we didn't have teenagers to feed. Out of all my bills my groceries bill is the highest with 3 teen boys and 1 teen girl. Age 13,15,16 and 18. They have all have a bottomless pit stomach
 

Kellysaurus

New Member
I am not deaf, nor HH, but this topic was literally one of the very first things I learned about the deaf community. The key is that deaf people have a different culture.

A culture is a way of life, a way of doing things that is common amongst it's community. We know this already. Difficult cultures can be considered "weird" or "rude" simply because we are not familiar with the customs. But in reality, that's just the way they are.

What a deaf person considers rude is entirely different than what a hearing person considers rude.
Because of the lack of exposure to mainstream information, the deaf community used to share absolutely everything in order to help one another out. They didn't hear the news about the big car sale down at Manfredi's. It was up to someone else to share it. So they would literally share everything.
Also, to a deaf person, if you see it - you can comment on it. Commenting on things that you see (car, clothes, etc) is a way of showing that you cared enough to observe those things. Not saying something is actually considered rude.

Therefore, it's completely normal and understandable that you were asked that. It's typical for hearing people to consider the lack of privacy somewhat rude - but in reality, it's just different.
 

ecp

Member
It is part of just about any culture that when you meet somebody the "small talk" is basically "where are you from?" And "what do you do?".
Deaf culture has the added "where did you go to school?".

Meeting hearing strangers who don't know I'm deaf, we go through the whole where did you grow up, where did you go to college, and what do you do for a living.
Even people who are introduced to me and told I'm deaf still have the same question.

The Deaf people I've met all focus on which school I went to for high school an when my school isn't a Deaf school they ask why I didn't go to Deaf school. (The answer is because I have progressive haring loss and wasn't severely HOH until high school)
 

ohmylight

New Member
Most conversations end abruptly when I ask them what they do for a living.

My old undergrad teacher would tell people in bars that she taught classes on human sexuality and death and dying... Conversation ends quick after that.... I get the opposite when people ask about my volunteer work... I photograph stillborn babies to help parents grieve... People get nosey about that and that's not the right thing to be nosey about.

Have fun with it if it bugs you. Tell them a crazy story then when you tell them the right one you'll look less interesting haha I think it might come from good intentions though. I ask people what they do thinking they might tell me they run or draw for fun... Not specifically work. I think the better question is "WHAT GIVES YOUR LIFE MEANING" lol
 

LadyAbigail

New Member
Someone asked me recently, "What are your goals in life?" I loved it! I've never cared for small-talk and I tend to be a very open person in many ways. I thought it was great to just skip the small stuff that neither person really cares about and get to what it truly important and tells someone what sort of person you are.
 
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