I'm starting to hate deaf people....I am hard of hearing

I

Infinite8811

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So I have been recently socializing with the deaf. They treat me really bad because I am hard of hearing. Why does it really matter? Why do deaf people act so immature. I do sign and wear hearing aids...and I use a lot of ASL...but it's mostly PSE. I think most deaf need to grow up and it is a big turn off and making people who are hard of hearing feel like outsiders. Deaf people gossip so much and I want to be a part of the culture but they are so mean and picky. I don't care who hates this post but I just need advice. I am just sharing because when I socialize with them they act very immature and gossip even in their 40's and 50's. I'm just sad cause I was raised to speak and sign and they always have something to say. Why is there so much hype on deaf culture if most of them are mean and they always pick on the hard of hearing from how they grew up to their signing skills. It just really sucks....Ugh! Who cares it is no big deal ...why separate deaf and hard of hearing or lack of ASL skills or people who choose to wear hearing aids...that is so shallow! UGH:shock::shock:
 
You'll find that there are shallow people in every group. I've found wonderfully supportive people on this site and some that sound like they'd fit right in with the KKK or Neo Nazis....it's that black and white...and they also don't give a damn if they offend you with their prejudice so long as you don't offend them by using a term like "hearing impaired" or say things like "I'm thinking of finding a speech therapist..." in which case they view it as a personal attack on them or a sign that you're not "deaf enough" to belong.

There are some nice people here but it's not as obvious where they are...but do hang in. I know exactly how you feel because I'm in the same boat as you really. Just remember this is a forum and should never be confused with real life..and when those prejudiced idiots rear their head....take a break and connect with people in your life that matter....too much time online in forums is never a good thing.

Laura
 
The OP only has 8 post, so it looks like she is talking about real life experience as opposed to just sitting around online whining.
 
If a person like this wanted to talk to me in a real life at Deaf Club, then I would be happy to talk to them. It's sad that some people are close minded. Sorry that you ran into wrong type of people.
 
I am talking about a real life experience. I am sorry if I offended anyone. I was just trying to see what the big deal is? We should all get along...hard of hearing,deaf,hearing aids CI,ASL,PSE...speech...no speech. Where is the love?
 
I am hearing and have spent the last year as immersed as I could in the local Deaf community here. I've had some experiences like part of what you describe, but I've also met some wonderful people I feel very lucky to know. I have to be realistic and look at the proportion of people in the general (mostly hearing) population who I find to be considerate and smart and of some depth and just generally people I like having in my life. It is not a large percentage! So there's no reason to expect different from a smaller community - human nature doesn't take a break because people can't hear. I think that if you can endure, it might be worth it to try and be patient and hang in there. You might meet a few gems. They might not be obvious at first: maybe they're laying low as they try to deal with all that same stuff that has been frustrating to you. Or other stuff from the same kind of sources. But eventually I bet you'll find them. Or they'll find you:)
 
Infinite8811 said:
I am talking about a real life experience. I am sorry if I offended anyone. I was just trying to see what the big deal is? We should all get along...hard of hearing,deaf,hearing aids CI,ASL,PSE...speech...no speech. Where is the love?
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I don't think anyone is offended. Yours is kind of a common story among people who are discovering deaf culture.

Sometimes people adjust , and sometimes they decide it just isn't for them.
 
There will always be some bad apples in every barrel.

I don't think it's representative of Deaf people as a whole.

I am part of a very large Deaf community. There are some that I will not hang out with. Rude, immature, ignorant. But, guess what? You find that in every community, just like Lau said.

Think it's up to you to find the Deaf people you like and want to hang out with.

Oh, by the way? To the OP: your post? You sure you aren't giving them a reason to be rude to you? Your post wasn't exactly nice. Just food for thought.
 
I can relate somewhat...(in real life)....and for a long time, I was very hurt by some of the treatment I got from some deafies....so I avoided them and stopped going to the clubs and gatherings.....even Church...

Some are immature...yes. Some are highly intelligent too, never cease to amaze me...so they are never in the same boat!....

I pick and choose my friends carefully....and don't waste my time with those who just simply want to gossip or back-stab......I tend to be nice to everyone I meet...and some people will take advantage of that....

Then again, hearies are the same way....
 
Infinite8811 said:
Where is the love?
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On AllDeaf...not much and in real life you'll find the same is true. I often find within forums people in those closed off or tightly woven cultures tend to show their true colors by saying - or rather posting they think of you but would never dare to say in real life meeting. Whenever I mixed with deaf community, I felt like there was a barrier between me and them...and I don't mean a language barrier or deafness. I felt like they already decided who I was, and what I was about, and whether I was worthy of their time right from the first meeting. My response was to blow them off and direct my time and efforts to activies I enjoyed meeting people who were more open and accepting. I've met people from vastly different cultures: Cambodian, Russian, Korean, Chinese -that were far nicer and more interested in getting to know who I am as a person.

There's too much militancy among the deaf in social situations for me to feel comfortable. You meet them and they want to know how you label yourself, "Big D", "little D", "hearing impaired", "deaf".....it's never ending, you have to come with a label. You're not allowed to be you. They need to put everyone in a box and categorize them. Honestly when I go out at the end of the week, I want to unwind and have a nice time. I don't want to have to impress people every time to prove my worth as a person. I'm not saying everyone that's deaf acts this way, many are nice and laid back, but most aren't.
 
I comment to you unforntately.. it is seems on your look likes wolf whining. It is immature teenining, . cause you



Why does it really matter? Why do deaf people act so immature.
Who cares it is no big deal ...why separate deaf and hard of hearing or lack of ASL skills or people who choose to wear hearing aids...that is so shallow! UGH
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people don't care to negative. that is point. they don't hear to negative. that is immature. sick on negative, that is very numberous sick!. that is why. that is why.

Adult is very mature compare to teen is very immature difference, It is very compare!

you cannot to speak emotional on think negative frustrated. Don't be insult to people negative on immature teen,

IMO you are depend on attitude, you have respect to ASL both SEE!
 
I am not whining and you all have valid points. I did nothing to them. I just went to a gaterhing and that is how they treated me. I don't think my post was rude, I was just explaining how I felt. Yeah I am frustrated because how can I walk into a room and get bashed just that fast. Not how are you or where are you from? More like wow you aren't signing pure ASL and why are you wearing a hearing aid...also you aren't deaf..you are hard of hearing because your signing skills? WHAT LOL...okay. So once again...like I said before I am sorry if it sounded rude and yes it is a common experience. But why must deaf act like others have to be tested out LOL. and SMITH? No one is whining...just was seeing what I could do and explaining my experiences. You can politely leave. Or are you the example of the rude deaf person I was speaking of?:roll:

All in all it isn't about bashing anyone people. Basically what am I to do at this point to get to the real question? Should I feel bad? Should I just take my hearing aids off? Should I learn more ASL PURE instead of PSE? Am I really hard of hearing even though I have a severe profound loss YET I wear hearing aids and I don't socialize with deaf? that's all I am saying..
 
Infinite8811 said:
I am not whining and you all have valid points. I did nothing to them. I just went to a gaterhing and that is how they treated me. I don't think my post was rude, I was just explaining how I felt. Yeah I am frustrated because how can I walk into a room and get bashed just that fast. Not how are you or where are you from? More like wow you aren't signing pure ASL and why are you wearing a hearing aid...also you aren't deaf..you are hard of hearing because your signing skills? WHAT LOL...okay. So once again...like I said before I am sorry if it sounded rude and yes it is a common experience. But why must deaf act like others have to be tested out LOL. and SMITH? No one is whining...just was seeing what I could do and explaining my experiences. You can politely leave. Or are you the example of the rude deaf person I was speaking of?:roll:

All in all it isn't about bashing anyone people. Basically what am I to do at this point to get to the real question? Should I feel bad? Should I just take my hearing aids off? Should I learn more ASL PURE instead of PSE? Am I really hard of hearing even though I have a severe profound loss YET I wear hearing aids and I don't socialize with deaf? that's all I am saying..
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unforntately I cannot said. I cannot aruge to people, I respect to PSE and SEE and LSQ and country many people have issues on sign lanuge, we are no choice, you have frustrated, I am apologized you have frustrated, you with anyone have frustrated serious!, I understand hard for PSE. It is very hard SEE. I have SEE I dont mind. I have ASL also myself I have modify on skills level research how visual on ASL my deaf interpreter mentor help confidental ASL.


I understand you really should be social peope deaf community! I am very experience on alots of grow asl level really good! It not bad! It is very depend on poor on communicate sadly deaf community support to deaf community reason I cannot blame to people I value to thank to people interpreter but I want to whom especailly professional teach ASL is teach me I glad of learn ASL great happy effort. I love ASL exciting to more research I cannot blame people. I respect to people have choice up to your decision sign language want to value to own language I love sign language and happy right successfully!
 
Infinite8811 said:
I am not whining and you all have valid points. I did nothing to them. I just went to a gaterhing and that is how they treated me. I don't think my post was rude, I was just explaining how I felt. Yeah I am frustrated because how can I walk into a room and get bashed just that fast. Not how are you or where are you from? More like wow you aren't signing pure ASL and why are you wearing a hearing aid...also you aren't deaf..you are hard of hearing because your signing skills? WHAT LOL...okay. So once again...like I said before I am sorry if it sounded rude and yes it is a common experience. But why must deaf act like others have to be tested out LOL. and SMITH? No one is whining...just was seeing what I could do and explaining my experiences. You can politely leave. Or are you the example of the rude deaf person I was speaking of?:roll:

All in all it isn't about bashing anyone people. Basically what am I to do at this point to get to the real question? Should I feel bad? Should I just take my hearing aids off? Should I learn more ASL PURE instead of PSE? Am I really hard of hearing even though I have a severe profound loss YET I wear hearing aids and I don't socialize with deaf? that's all I am saying..
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Oh come on now. You were whining a little. And Smithtrr is the example of the nicest deaf person here.

He and I wear the same hearing aid. ;) And Smithtr's group always demands everybody in all groups get equal respect...

I think you should just be yourself, wear your hearing aids if you enjoy them, and just look for the people who accept you as you are. There really are plenty of people who don't care one way or the other, as long as you are friendly.
 
Maybe you should try to find deaf people that have more of the same interests you have. I am not sure where you live but I found in some small towns or cities people in general can be very clicky and it has nothing to do with being hoh dear or hearing. Maybe you should try to get to know just one deaf person and see if they'll help you fit in .
 
I had the same experience at the Deaf Social I was invited to... The first time there was great, everyone would introduce themselves and mingle, eat. The second and 3rd time there they wouldn't even socialize, I felt pushed away. Everyone brought a dish ( kind of like a pot luck ) and everyone would eat and sign, there were others there that were HOH as well and they were part of the "IN" crowd... so they weren't just singling hoh out of the group... just an odd attitude after the first time there. Had lots of fun the first night there, but after that it wasn't much and I think they were very rude. I guess it just depends on the group you are with? I know a couple of deaf people over the years and were always friendly. I hope to meet more in the deaf world myself, it just takes time to find where youre welcomed. I was invited by a hearie who had a deaf child I met in college taking ASL. Maybe because I wasn't invited by a Deaf person of the group?
 
amylynne said:
I am hearing and have spent the last year as immersed as I could in the local Deaf community here. I've had some experiences like part of what you describe, but I've also met some wonderful people I feel very lucky to know. I have to be realistic and look at the proportion of people in the general (mostly hearing) population who I find to be considerate and smart and of some depth and just generally people I like having in my life. It is not a large percentage! So there's no reason to expect different from a smaller community - human nature doesn't take a break because people can't hear. I think that if you can endure, it might be worth it to try and be patient and hang in there. You might meet a few gems. They might not be obvious at first: maybe they're laying low as they try to deal with all that same stuff that has been frustrating to you. Or other stuff from the same kind of sources. But eventually I bet you'll find them. Or they'll find you:)
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What she said...so true.
 
am just sharing because when I socialize with them they act very immature and gossip even in their 40's and 50's. I'm just sad cause I was raised to speak and sign and they always have something to say. Why is there so much hype on deaf culture if most of them are mean and they always pick on the hard of hearing from how they grew up to their signing skills
Click to expand...
Were the people who were being kinda exclusive older? I think you may have your answer there. Some older Deafies can be very exclusive....however the younger generation can be more openminded.
 
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