I just don't understand certain men

WolfGirl

New Member
Hello there peeps. I don't like to.complain, no one really gets amywhere that way. But, since this is a relationship thread, I thought I could ask.

I was recently in a relationship with a man who could not hold a job. I put up with it because I had a job at the time. He kept telling me he would find one soon, and that his family was sending money. I was like okay, thats fine. Well, I got down in my health, and needed help more than ever. I found us living with my adopted family, and he still had not found a job. I had long since left mine, with the assurance that I could return.

He told my whole family he was gonna get a job. Finally he supposedly did well, on valentines day we went out. Coming back from the movies we got stopped by police. My title had not been changed yet. He got taken to jail like other times, and I went home.

After a few days, I kept getting emails that he was cheating on me. So I was looking for evidence, and found his profile on OK Cupid. I was hurt, and decided to go see my friends. I checked his bank because he told me I could use it, and found he stole my adopted sisters check.

I was mad! To cut a long story short and get to my question. I broke it off with him, and found out from his friends that I had such a bad disability that I had to be taken care of like a child, and that my car was his. I felt guilty for all of this, but am not anymore. Anyway, he calls me constantly still amd won't take a hint. He is hearing by the way.

I am at a loss for what to do. I keep telling him to leave me be, but he won't. I am trying to move on with my life, and feel like I cannot. What should I do? And has any of you had a problem like this?


Thank you for your reply!
 

rockin'robin

Well-Known Member
Run...don't walk to the nearest police station....file a complaint and get a restraining order....This guy is a USER & a LOSER....Don't take his calls either...If you continue to do so...then you're asking for more hurt and giving him more "control" over you....He's trying to take everything away from you!...Don't let him...or you'll be as dumb as he thinks you are!...So, all in all...get rid of the SOB....
 

jonnyghost

Well-Known Member
What you describe is not a man. Change your phone number and keep a record of all his harrasments. You don't have to be phisically abused to get a restraining order but you do have to have some proof.
 

Reba

Retired Terp
Premium Member
I have tried to get a restraining order, but I was told he would have to have hit me to obtain one....
Even with his jail history? If he has a parole officer, get in touch with him and see if they can make it a condition of his parole that he keep away from you.
 

A Nihilist

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
Maybe it's your area but there are civil restraining orders that do not require evidence of physical violence. Just the phone logs, emails, etc.. would be enough to issue a no-contact order.
 

Frisky Feline

Well-Known Member
Run...don't walk to the nearest police station....file a complaint and get a restraining order....This guy is a USER & a LOSER....Don't take his calls either...If you continue to do so...then you're asking for more hurt and giving him more "control" over you....He's trying to take everything away from you!...Don't let him...or you'll be as dumb as he thinks you are!...So, all in all...get rid of the SOB....

Run. RR said it all.
 

WolfGirl

New Member
Thanks you guys. I have been keeping a record, but my area police said that it might be time to change my number. My fear is thay he will try to come after me. He knows where I live...
 

jonnyghost

Well-Known Member
A restraining order wont do anything to stop him if you think he might acctually come after you. In that case you need to come up with a personal defense plan. The restraining order will be nice to get him put in jail after a situation though and will give him no recoase should he force you to defend yourself in some way.
 

rockin'robin

Well-Known Member
Keep ur doors locked at all times then...(hopefully he doesn't have a key?) ...if so, then change the locks right away....And if he does show up...call the police immediately....

Are you afraid that he will hurt you physically?....If he has abused you physically in the past...then you need to let the Police know about it....Since he has a record and a parole officer....then you need to find out what he has done in the past.
 

caz12

New Member
the more times you complain tell them you in fear of your life health and try for restraining order surely they got listen to you...can you get alarm put in or come to some arrangment with police do check..or move away change your number...he sound nasty bit of work..tell cops you done everything within law for help,i thought in america aswel as elsewhere there laws about stalkers
 

Reba

Retired Terp
Premium Member
Thanks you guys. I have been keeping a record, but my area police said that it might be time to change my number. My fear is thay he will try to come after me. He knows where I live...
You may have a little more clout with the courts and police by filing for help as a "vulnerable adult." That is a legal category in some states that gets more attention. It puts you in the same protected class as children and senior citizens. People who can't care for themselves are in that protected class.
 

caz12

New Member
what ever she do,the man sounds total arse and law being what it is.then i can guess sort of help she going to get...you feel like saying find friend or family member who able to show this creep error of his ways but that would be wrong
 

WolfGirl

New Member
I have tried that. I have been taking defense classes, but I hope to never have to use them. I thought he would go away peaceably, now its a matter of leave me be and fear of being in another relationship because of my fear of him. I have mace, my adopted family are military so they keep watch when I visit but that fear is still there. Thanks guys. I am trying my best, so far I have just been told to change my number and keep a look out. Life is too short to keep looking over your shoulder
 

caz12

New Member
he will get fed up soon bullies usually do when next victim come along...keep that mace close bye...i found keeping door key in my hand when on my own,it saved me once,man tried grab me i hit him in the eye with key in clench fist..
you should not have to live life worried by this creep....advice never let man take you away from friends the min they hint that then run
good luck honey you sound strong person who will overcome this soon
 

diehardbiker

Active Member
Since your in Texas, get a shotgun (20 gauge is good enough, 12 gauge might hurt your shoulder even more), and few shells with. If he breaks in your place, simply point and pull the trigger. he will be dead before he can answer your question.... case close, and that will guarantee he will never bother you again.
 
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