I am hearing, but not really

Bebonang

Active Member
What is going on? You were talking about being frustrated over not being able to hear when you are not being in front of a person. And claiming that people told you that you were not listening. Does that mean you are losing your hearing or just give us a test on what you think of hearing people on Deaf and Hard Of Hearing people like us here? You are not making any sense. :roll:

Are you being afraid that you might end up like your father who is deaf or hard of hearing, eh?
 

London

New Member
I am sorry, what I meant was that I know it is fine to be deaf. You wrote that I was being 'stubborn' and like an audist. I hate audists.

I am just telling you why someone would be stubborn about it. I am just venting a little.
 

London

New Member
I understand what you mean. I was able to wear HA in both ears but after I was in a horrible auto accident the hearing in my right ear became distorted and I can no use my right ear to talk on the phone. A HA does not help anymore , it only made sounds louder and the sounds are still distorted.
HA do not work for everyone . I really don't think hearing people can really understand that you can hear them but not understand what they're saying. I guess one way to get hearing people to understand this is to talk to them in a foreign language then asked if they heard it and also understand it.

Thanks :)

That's what I am afraid of - that it will be a waste of time. It isn't that debilitating for me. I get frustrated now and then - how many times do I need to make it obvious you cannot start talking from a distance? I am afraid of loud public places, but I have tried to get over that.
 

Bebonang

Active Member
To everyone, thanks for your advice. I probably should see someone. I have excellent insurance, is it usually covered?

I don't know if the insurance is cover. You just have to go to your insurance and ask if that could cover for ENT or getting hearing test or obtaining hearing aids or CI (You have to be full deaf, not hard of hearing to have CI).

Check it out and you will get the result.
 

Bebonang

Active Member
I am sorry, what I meant was that I know it is fine to be deaf. You wrote that I was being 'stubborn' and like an audist. I hate audists.

I am just telling you why someone would be stubborn about it. I am just venting a little.

I am confused about what you were saying in your first thread and later on when you were talking about looking down on d/Deaf and Hard Of Hearing and stuff. I thought you were not seeing the realistic of facing your hearing loss. I thought you were way off the wagon somewhere. I am lost to you. Sorry for being rude but I am blunt wanting to know what is going on in your head. :hmm:
 

London

New Member
I understand and it is a sensitive issue for the deaf!!

Please know that a person who struggles emotionally with their hearing loss is not an audist in any way :) Some people realize there are audists in this world and they'd rather not be bothered by them.
 

Dreamer03

New Member
I would say same thing most people here are saying, go with an audiologist. But I think I know what you mean., kinda. When I got my hearing back I still needed to see peoples lips for a while to understand what they were saying. It took a while before I could just hear without sene their lips.
 

SBirn

New Member
Allow me one shot at this

I'll look into it at some point. I am so honored to be welcomed and encouraged in introducing myself :)
First, welcome to the forum. I understand what you're saying. I cannot tell you what to feel or what not to feel, so I won't. You really do not know what is happening to you. You think it may be (a fairly well-used term) "selective hearing" but do not know. You say you do need to face people to understand them. This does two things (and you don't know what is really occurring). 1) It forces (mostly) that you pay attention and may lower the "selective hearing" threshold.
2) You really may be reading lips, which is a very like implication of a loss but to what degree, no one knows.

You do seem adverse to minimally getting an audiogram. Do you have any idea why? I'm not pushing it. We live our lives however we wish.

In the U.S., you used to be able to go to a hearing aid dealer and have a simple audiogram without paying for it if money is an issue. Of course, the dealer would expect you purchase an aid from him/her but you can just say you are exploring what is happening to you. At the least, if you choose to pursue this and let us know the results, while I don't know if any of us are audiologists here, you could post your results and that itself would be a beginning. For example, I have a friend who's @62 who sent me her complete audiogram. She asked if she needed a hearing aid. She's the only one who can answer that but I dissected the test and explained in English what sounds she was missing and I didn't miss a beat. I shouldn't have because I've been dealing with this beast for @50 years now. Having speech recognition scores would be helpful but truly a this point not mandatory. While they were included, I could tell by her scores alone what was happening to her. In her case, it boiled down to age-related loss.

Anyway, we are out here for you should you need to vent. We cannot insist you get the audiogram (I can't twist your arm and can only point to what I believe is the direction to follow). Yet, I find it interesting that there are so many people recommending one but you are adverse to it. I'm sorry for whatever it is you're going through.

Take care.

Take care.
 

peacefulgarden1

New Member
In a very quite place I can look to the side of a person's face and still understand what they are saying.
In a slightly noisy place I need to look at their lips to understand what they are saying
In a loud place, their lips and my guessing make sense of what they are saying somewhat- but I want to get out of their as soon as possible.
I hear ya, no pun intended
 

Ryssie

New Member
I don't know if anyone can relate =\

My dad is deaf, my mom is hearing.

My ears have quite a bit of scaring, damage, and hearing loss. To the average person, I can hear normally. Because NORMALLY people look at you when they are talking.

My dad lip reads and I picked up this as a kid. I want to face a person when they are talking to me! I often get angry at members of my family that don't get my dad's attention first and then talk to them. They just blurt a bunch of mumblings and then when he turns around to say "what?" they say - never mind. I always wave at my dad and wait until he is seeing my face before saying anything.

I am told that I don't pay attention, etc... I repeatedly tell people that I CANNOT UNDERSTAND YOU UNLESS I AM LOOKING AT YOU when you speak. That act like I am faking hearing loss. I know when you are saying something, but it is all distorted to me.

One foot in and one foot in the other and I have no damn place.

I totally understand what you're going through. I have the same experience. Pay no mind to others that don't understand what it's like to be Hard of Hearing. They just don't understand. The best thing you can do is believe in yourself and maybe try to educate them, not just 'tell them'. Have a voice of authority and soon some, not all, will listen to what you have to say. I hope this helps! and btw I believe you. :)
 

AnDanTe

New Member
I don't know if anything can be done.

I can hear sounds just fine. I know when someone is talking to me and when I turn around to ask them to repeat it I am told I wasn't paying attention.

Most of the quieter sounds are strange to me. I actually find my brain trying to make sense of them and put them into categories of sounds.

Thanks, I am not trying to be argumentative! I just want to understand-
It is my understanding that hearing aids and such simply amplify existing sounds?

I can hear the sounds, but they are too mumbled. I am terrified of loud public places.

I cannot tell people I am deaf, but I cannot hear them...

I feel exactly the same man, it's almost impossible for me to follow a conversation in almost everywhere, gyms, pubs, at class... I can hear them talking but shit, trying to understand what are they saying is a very different thing, as you say all I can hear is mumbling and a mix of sounds and voices, and if I try hard I can understand some words and sentences but obviously not enough to follow the conversation.

Trying to make sense of quiet and surrounding sounds it's also an impossible mission, but well this is less annoying.

The worst of all is that I'm already wearing hearing aids! :D
 

KikLove

Member
Wirelessly posted

Ryssie said:
I totally understand what you're going through. I have the same experience. Pay no mind to others that don't understand what it's like to be Hard of Hearing. They just don't understand. The best thing you can do is believe in yourself and maybe try to educate them, not just 'tell them'. Have a voice of authority and soon some, not all, will listen to what you have to say. I hope this helps! and btw I believe you. :)

Ummm...we don't? Just because one is deaf or hearing doesn't mean they don't understand.

Seems to me the OP doesn't want to go to an ENT or audiologist, as already recommended by several people. I get in the same situations as the OP. If people accuse me of not listening, I simply snap back (or talk) and tell them they don't know what I did/didn't hear and shut their mouths. If they don't like to repeat themselves or look at me when talking, I truly do ignore them and go about my business. This is why the OP needs to see an audiologist.

Even people with good hearing still find loud places hard to hear in. As a HOH individual, the OP has to realize what situations are comfortable wearing HAs in or not. Only the OP and an audiologist can decide if HAs would benefit them.
 
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SBirn

New Member
I don't know if anyone can relate =\

My dad is deaf, my mom is hearing.

My ears have quite a bit of scaring, damage, and hearing loss. To the average person, I can hear normally. Because NORMALLY people look at you when they are talking.

My dad lip reads and I picked up this as a kid. I want to face a person when they are talking to me! I often get angry at members of my family that don't get my dad's attention first and then talk to them. They just blurt a bunch of mumblings and then when he turns around to say "what?" they say - never mind. I always wave at my dad and wait until he is seeing my face before saying anything.

I am told that I don't pay attention, etc... I repeatedly tell people that I CANNOT UNDERSTAND YOU UNLESS I AM LOOKING AT YOU when you speak. That act like I am faking hearing loss. I know when you are saying something, but it is all distorted to me.

One foot in and one foot in the other and I have no damn place.
Since you said, "... it is all distorted to me." I agree with all the others here (mostly). Go somewhere and find out what's going on. Your other option you seem to prefer is, "One foot in and one foot in the other and I have no darn place." You have chosen this path knowingly. You do not know what's going on or if you can get out of it. Sounds to me like that's how you prefer to exist (which is fine and and I can't have a lot of empathy for this because it's your decision and I'll ignore the " ... I have no damn place," because you made that choice and do not know if you do have a place).

Speculation as to why you won't seek help is useless because you say no and counter it with illogical reasoning ... no no no no no, so it seems.

May you find Peace,
-- Sheri
 

caz12

New Member
assertive class that help you..your name suggest you english from london if that is so then you should have no trouble getting correct help and advice,if you dont want to get ENT advice then ask at City Lit Holbien.
HA bit more to it than just amlifiers
 
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