How old were you when you first attended an IEP meeting as the student?

rivenoak

New Member
Premium Member
We're going to set up an IEP meeting soon.

Last spring, when getting ready for the yearly IEP meeting, I asked DS if he wanted to go and he said no. I'm sure it sounded like a boring time to him: lots of adults talking. I explained who would be there & what the meeting would be about, but he wasn't interested.

I'll ask him again if he wants to attend this time.

How old were you when you first started attending?

Did your parents offer you the choice in attending?

Did you get anything out of attending?

Anyone made to attend even if they didn't want to? Did you get something out of it after all?

:ty:
 

AlleyCat

Well-Known Member
I was never allowed to go to any of mine. I thought that was the norm, actually (for me and during my time, 20 years ago.)
 

CSign

New Member
How old is your son?

Mine is 7, and he has only been to one meeting and that was because no one was available to watch him.

I think if he's older (7+), and you have a good history with the SD then it would be appropriate to go.

If your SD is like ours; and you know there will be multiple points of contention and likely issues, then it's best they not go. IMO of course.

As of now, I don't want my son exposed to the nasty side of SD's and "special education". As he gets older; and can seperate the SD's lack of respect, from him as an individual, then I'll bring him.
 
Last edited:

lanapoo

New Member
Wirelessly posted

Think I was in 3rd grade when I went to my first iep and then I went for nearly every year after that. Didn't understand what was really going on.
 

DeafBadger

Ad Astra Per Aspera
Premium Member
I don't really remember any IEP meetings until early high school. Then I was sitting in the room with the HI teachers and my parents. I did not really have a voice in the proceedings.

Sometimes my parents and the HI case worker I had would get into spats. The HI case worker would accuse me of slacking off on my grades. My mother said that my caseworker slacked off on talking to my teachers before the semester started (to tell them how to use the auditory trainer, how to talk to me, etc).

It was the school principle who stuck up for me, saying that all kids slack off a little on their grades. ;)

In truth, I didn't know what the hell was going on!
 

AlleyCat

Well-Known Member
Same here. Because my parents were concerned about points of contention and issues, I think that's why they didn't have me go to any IEP meetings. That way, they got their way. The kid got no say. Otherwise, there's just fights.
 

Foxrac

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
I started to had IEP meeting in 1992 when it was my first kindergarten and I was 4 years old at time.
 

deafdyke

Well-Known Member
I had IEP meetings from the time I was three to when I was 18.
I started going in 8th grade.They were SO fucking POINTLESS and frustrating. I mean I think my school was well meaning, but they did not have the abilty to provide decent accomondations. Not to mention the horrible social stuff.
One thing that I think they need to do for IEP meetings is maybe have them be child centered and have the child try out the various and sundry options. Does a mainstreamed kid know anything about deaf school or dhh program?
Maybe a good idea might be to contact Arizona Schools for the Deaf and the Blind and see if they have an advocate who can help out with IEP meetings and give suggestions abt accomodnations etc.
 

CSign

New Member
Same here. Because my parents were concerned about points of contention and issues, I think that's why they didn't have me go to any IEP meetings. That way, they got their way. The kid got no say. Otherwise, there's just fights.

If I'm understanding your post correctly, I'm nothing like your parents. I have conversations with my son about his needs and advocate on his behalf. I make sure he gets what he needs as an individual. Both what he realizes at this age, and accomodations he's not even aware we've fought for.
 

AlleyCat

Well-Known Member
That's what my parents said too.

Point being: when you are not a child in the school and in the IEP program your parents have designated for you (one being that the child didn't have any input in), you have no idea what the child feels. I know, I was there.
 

CSign

New Member
That's what my parents said too.

Point being: when you are not a child in the school and in the IEP program your parents have designated for you (one being that the child didn't have any input in), you have no idea what the child feels. I know, I was there.

I noticed your quick edit. Probably wise to do so.

The bolded line is the key difference between your parents and my relationship with my son. My son has input- and I listen to him and advocate on his behalf. With his specific wants and needs in mind.
 

AlleyCat

Well-Known Member
The bolded was not a quick edit. ;)

That's fine if you want to argue. I'm off to bed, so this is my last post of the night as I have to work in the morning. BUT, I will point out YOUR post:

"Mine is 7, and he has only been to one meeting and that was because no one was available to watch him.

I think if he's older (7+), and you have a good history with the SD then it would be appropriate to go.

If your SD is like ours; and you know there will be multiple points of contention and likely issues, then it's best they not go. "

Your message is VERY LOUD AND CLEAR.

You want the kids to shut up.
 

Jiro

If You Know What I Mean
Premium Member
If I'm understanding your post correctly, I'm nothing like your parents. I have conversations with my son about his needs and advocate on his behalf. I make sure he gets what he needs as an individual. Both what he realizes at this age, and accomodations he's not even aware we've fought for.

I noticed your quick edit. Probably wise to do so.

The bolded line is the key difference between your parents and my relationship with my son. My son has input- and I listen to him and advocate on his behalf. With his specific wants and needs in mind.

so why don't you bring him to IEP meetings?
 

CSign

New Member
How old is your son?

Mine is 7, and he has only been to one meeting and that was because no one was available to watch him.

I think if he's older (7+), and you have a good history with the SD then it would be appropriate to go.

If your SD is like ours; and you know there will be multiple points of contention and likely issues, then it's best they not go. IMO of course.

As of now, I don't want my son exposed to the nasty side of SD's and "special education". As he gets older; and can seperate the SD's lack of respect, from him as an individual, then I'll bring him.

For clarity purposes: I am referring to points of contention with the school district, then the young child should not be present. For example, at the last IEP meeting, my sons SLP made a comment to the effect of, "I don't think he needs me to use sign language." Thats the kind of sh*t young kids don't need to be exposed to.

Hope that clears it up for those who were confused.
 

deafdyke

Well-Known Member
That's what my parents said too.

Point being: when you are not a child in the school and in the IEP program your parents have designated for you (one being that the child didn't have any input in), you have no idea what the child feels. I know, I was there.

In defense AlleyCat, while I do agree with that. I mean elementary school is pretty easy. A lot of kids do well especially early on. But I think that CSign is a VERY informed parent and would be in tune to ANY issues. She reads our posts and knows what our problems are.....Heck she's said that if there were any alternatives besides the deaf school, (ie dhh program or magnet program) she'd have her son in that sort of program in a FLASH.
 
Top