Help with book dialogue.

lugoblah

New Member
I'm currently writing a book, which features a several deaf characters. I'm trying to write dialogue as accurately as possible. While proofreading I stumbled over a problem, a character rudely asks for something, then is corrected about asking for it politely. The character asks again, but this time uses may instead of can. I've recently learned that may and can have the same sign. How can I rewrite that bit of dialogue to portray a rude way to ask for something then a polite way to ask for it.

example:
"Can I have a hamburger, please?"
"I guess if I can make one for you."
"May I have a hamburger, please?"

Any help is greatly appreciated. Thank you.
 

EllietheEncourager

Active Member
the rudeness would be in the tone and facial expression. Also, while one is more grammatically correct; the pedantic person correcting is really the rude one. I'd scrap that as it seems unnecessary and doesn't fit for what you're trying to do anyway.
 

lugoblah

New Member
Thank you for the advice. I rewrote it to make closer to the murder theme, so the whole rude versus politeness aspect is taken out. How does someone express tone through signing? Sorry if that's offensive. But I'm just trying to learn.
 

Old Analog

Active Member
Ellie is better at this than I, may be I'm more SEE, I would use sign for allow for may not can, but I'm confused, how does this translate to writen english? :hmm: oh!to your question you ever heard of an eye role or a smerk ect.
 

Old Analog

Active Member
Second though, help me here ellie if I get confused, ok the sign for these words same but mouth meem deferent, earry is with a mm mouth expression, scary with ooh and eye expression, frighting with aah and eye and an inhal, tairifying with a sharp in hail expressing is and you will know a frightened face when you see it its universal, howed I do ellie?
 

lugoblah

New Member
This is so helpful. Thank you. I was just confused because Ellie said "tone and facial expression" so I thought tone also included how a person signs, like if a person's angry they would do their signs more forcefully or something.

If a person's name sign is one letter being signed twice, how does the signer separate the signs for it?
 

Old Analog

Active Member
yes full expressiveness, watch some deaf music videos, I have a couple of favorites, can't rember contact info. I have them bookmarked, thinking one is deaf rock church, I have to go look up names :hmm:
 

George1

New Member
In my opinion, if you are writing an artistic book, you can have some grammatical mistakes especially if it changes the way the message is sent. I think it is not a big problem. When writing an academic essay/book grammatical rules must be respected. As I am not good at writing correctly when I needed to write my admission essay I used college essay editing to edit some unclear ideas and correct my mistakes, in order to show them that I deserve the place there. It really helped me!
 

George1

New Member
You should ask a person to proofread your work, in order to discuss all your mistakes and to not change the meaning of some paragraphs which is very possible. I have been always using the college essay editing service because my teachers were complaining that my ideas are unclear and I don't bring many examples to my arguments. I was tired to spend hours writing an essay and hear every time the same thing, so that service saved me a lot. It also taught me how to write an essay to the liking of the teachers.
 
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