Hearing loss Pet Peeves!

stephaniep

Active Member
What bugs you about your hearing loss? My pet peeves are:

  • doctors who face the the wall writing away while asking you questions with their back and faces turned away from you.
  • people who think yelling helps a person to hear.
  • people who phone when they are asked to email, or text and persist in phoning when they are told not to.
Do you have any Pet Peeves of your own? Actually it will help me to relate to understanding people better.
 

AlleyCat

Well-Known Member
#2 and 3 for me.

People will almost scream at me or put their lips close to my ear, and I have to back away so I can lipread. Talking louder helps me none!

OMG, the phone thing. It’s taken a while, but I have it down pat with most of my doctors or other professionals now to either email or text. I did activate the voicemail transcription feature on my iPhone recently, so for anyone who still persists in calling me, they are leaving voice mails that are readable, so that has helped. I used to have to rely on my ex for a lot of phone issues, but that has gone the way of the wind for the most part now. You just need to be firm with those who keep phoning you to be reading notes on your files or whatever they are accessing that they must be contacting you in ways other than phone.
 

PinballWiz

Member
People who simply refuse to speak up. I don't mean random strangers. I mean co-workers that I'm worked with for years. They know I can't hear. Once I've asked three times for them to repeat the same thing, how about maybe putting a little oomph behind it? There are a couple of colleagues who must think everything they have to say to me is some sort of State Secret to be conveyed in hushed whispers. Dude. You've worked with me for 8 years. I'M EFFING DEAF!!!!!

But yeah, medical people are the worst. Not all of them of course, but it seems to me that this is a group of folks who should have some awareness, yet many really don't. And I include the staff at my ENT in this, ironically enough.
 

LoveBlue

Well-Known Member
Oh, yeah, the ENT offices. But then ENT to refer to other parts of the anatomy - Nose and Throat, so maybe that's the majority of their patients, not the profoundly deaf.
 

stephaniep

Active Member
Being excluded...even some of my family members are contacting me less telling my husband that they didn't share with me because I have trouble hearing...well hello, I'm still here!
 

Swedeafa

Member
Being excluded...even some of my family members are contacting me less telling my husband that they didn't share with me because I have trouble hearing...well hello, I'm still here!

Mee too. I’ve kind of accepted this now, and do have friends who sign or who are ok with texting, using Facebook or whatever other accessible communication tool we choose. But it still hurts when you really want to stay in touch with someone, and they don’t really understand it doesn’t work to call me anymore.

An event I was really sad about was when my bonus brother (is that the English expression used for someone not being biological family but is part of the family?) rushed in from hospital the day before Christmas. His wife was giving birth, and he is a hushed voice explained to the family that she was seriously ill, and that they would have to stay at hospital over Christmas. I could see something was wrong, and I also could get so much information to understand that the baby was ok, but I didn’t get anything about what actually was wrong. It’s not really a situation where you just ask someone to speek up, because you want to hear. How on earth do you comfort a family member when you don’t really know what’s going on? When he left, the family explained what was going on, and I simply had to send a text message instead of being able to join when he was visiting us. Of course he knows I care, and we could talk later, but it still felt bad not to be able to comfort him and not being sure of what was wrong.

I also totally agree with most everything mentioned in the other posts. I’m so happy people actually use phone less today. At least in some age groups. The health care professionals where I live are not allowed to use text messages or e-mail for contact for security reasons. I constantly explain it’s a much larger risk for me getting injured if they try to convey something through phone, while the risk for negative consequences if someone eavesdropps on an e-mail message and sees im booking an appointment is ridiculously low, in normal case.
 

stephaniep

Active Member
You speak my language lol, I feel so bad because I do know. I don't think anyone does it deliberately to us, we are just easier to miss, because we can't jump into conversations like we use to, so when we don't speak out, we don't get heard. Think the hardest for me is when there is a room full of people all talking over one another, and I can't make out anything? It would feel awkward to hand them a note board to write on so I would know what they are saying? It is sad because I do miss out on the normal part of socializing with others. Usually after they leave, I will get my husband to communicate in some way, as to what went on, but it just isn't the same?
 

PinballWiz

Member
Usually after they leave, I will get my husband to communicate in some way, as to what went on, but it just isn't the same?

Ha ha. That's exactly what I do. After an encounter or event or whatever, I always ask my wife for the 5 minute synopsis of anything that I need to know. Hopefully it doesn't include some incident where I nodded, laughed, and said, "Oh, it that so?" while someone was telling me that they have liver cancer and will be passing soon...or something.

Inappropriate faking is a real concern, sometimes.
 

stephaniep

Active Member
LoL, that's funny, well sort of. Before I lost my hearing, a neighbor who was obviously hard of hearing was passing on something she heard about another neighbor, and I guess she didn't hear much of the conversation except the name and that the woman had died. News travelled fast. I was really upset because the woman who supposedly died was very young, so it was unexpected. Finally someone, went up to her husband expressing their condolences telling him how sorry they were that his wife passed away. He said "What, the last I looked she was alive?" Now that I am hard of hearing I understand how easy to misinterpret what we think we hear, as that woman found out, she heard the name which was correct and she heard the word died which was sort of correct, but she missed out everything in between? Connie had dyed her hair blonde, and this is how all that started.

I also do the I can hear you thing with a smile all the time, but some people that are on to me already know when I'm smiling I heard squat all of what they were saying? They now ask me to repeat what they said, then I start laughing while they continue to ask me to repeat it over and over again? Okay, so I'm busted!
 

PinballWiz

Member
Ha ha. I’ll share an abbreviated version of the worst faking incident (that I know of) that I’ve been involved with.

At the grocery I was approached by an older lady who called me by (I thought) my name. I tried to place her but could not, though I thought she looked familiar. She said something like, “You’re blahblah’s boy, right?” I didn’t really hear her but said, yes, I was. Still trying to place her. She started in on a story about Uncle so and so and some other people and I gradually started realizing that she had mistaken me for someone else and we didn’t know each other at all, but I’m too deep into it now to fess up, so I just try and ride it out.

But, she’s telling me about Uncle and so, and apparently a week ago he didn’t show up somewhere or another and they went to his home and FOUND HIM DEAD! He’d hung himself! And the nice lady puts her hand on my arm and starts crying. I HAVE NO IDEA WHO THIS IS AND SHE THINKS I”M BLABLAH’s BOY!

It was brutal but I feigned sympathy and grief, and eventually escaped, secure in the knowledge that blahblah’s boy’s reputation was going to be sullied by my weird behavior in the grocery. Oh well.
 

stephaniep

Active Member
You really were put on the spot with that one, well tragic as the news was, you really did do a good job impersonating
Blablah's boy. Lets hope you never meet up with her again or blablah's boy, LoL?
 

AlleyCat

Well-Known Member
I can’t tell you how many times I have faked understanding people. I usually just nod and smile and I have no idea what was said. I try to read their body language. It’s when they look at me quizzically and don’t go away that I have to say, “ok? What? Say it again?” I’m sure I have left people scratching their heads. :)
 

stephaniep

Active Member
#2 and 3 for me.

People will almost scream at me or put their lips close to my ear, and I have to back away so I can lipread. Talking louder helps me none!




I don't think the talking louder does it, it's the actual yelling that becomes verbal diarrhea to the deaf person. For me, I can't make out the words, sort of like one word blends in with another. Hubby use to do that a lot in the beginning and others would jump when they heard him, but he's getting better with that now.
 

Jane B.

Well-Known Member
If you can speak for yourself I have a suggestion about the phone calls to you. Download InnoCaption+ and setup call forwarding on your regular cell number so that all calls go to the number assigned by InnoCaption. That way any phone calls instead of text that are made to the number you have given them for text will be captioned. You do need a good data connection as the calls use VOIP for your side of the conversation as well as the captions of what the other person is saying.

I am not associated with them but have made the switch to InnoCaption+ after using InnoCaption for years. The difference is that to get captions on the earlier InnoCaption (not+) you need simultaneous voice and data.

https://www.innocaption.com/general-faqs/
 

PinballWiz

Member
How do you learn to lip read? Think I would rather do that than signing because no one around here understands signing?

I think most people, especially those of us who are varying degrees of deaf, can speech read a little. I've read that only 30% of english speech can be effectively "read" by lip reading. So it's helpful to fill in the blanks of a conversation, but it's not likely going to allow anyone to "read" an entire conversation without some other form of input. You're not going to be reading a whole conversation across the restaurant like in the movies.

I'll bet you already can do it more than you think. You've probably been speech reading by necessity and just don't realize it.
 

Jane B.

Well-Known Member
I think most people, especially those of us who are varying degrees of deaf, can speech read a little. I've read that only 30% of english speech can be effectively "read" by lip reading. So it's helpful to fill in the blanks of a conversation, but it's not likely going to allow anyone to "read" an entire conversation without some other form of input. You're not going to be reading a whole conversation across the restaurant like in the movies.

I'll bet you already can do it more than you think. You've probably been speech reading by necessity and just don't realize it.

I agree but it can be a very big help when combined with additional body language, some sound and knowing the context of the conversation.

Also time makes a big difference. I was completely deaf on one side from the age of 5 and the other ear started giving me problems as an adult. By the age of 43 an ENT that specialized in hearing told me that he thought I as able to pickup as much as 50% of a conversation by lip reading (the term that was currant at the time).
 

PinballWiz

Member
I agree but it can be a very big help when combined with additional body language, some sound and knowing the context of the conversation.

Also time makes a big difference. I was completely deaf on one side from the age of 5 and the other ear started giving me problems as an adult. By the age of 43 an ENT that specialized in hearing told me that he thought I as able to pickup as much as 50% of a conversation by lip reading (the term that was currant at the time).

Yeah. I had an updated hearing test at the audi a couple of weeks ago when they said I was down to a 110dB loss, with 60% speech discrimination in one ear, and 0 in the other. As I was talking to them the audi commented that I must be pretty good at lip reading. I'd never really thought about it, but that's probably correct.
 

stephaniep

Active Member
Thank you, all this captioned stuff is a little overwhelming to me, I have it on my TV but setting it up is as easy as pressing a button. With the phones will a non cell phone work, or is there a special phone for closed captioning. I have very little use of the phone because of my hearing but a few weeks ago I got a cell and a talk and text plan only, I don't talk but text. Will check it out to see if it has the feature you are referring to. I have an appointment next week with my Audiologist, I will ask her about the captioning as well. Thank you for the link.
 

Jane B.

Well-Known Member
Thank you, all this captioned stuff is a little overwhelming to me, I have it on my TV but setting it up is as easy as pressing a button. With the phones will a non cell phone work, or is there a special phone for closed captioning. I have very little use of the phone because of my hearing but a few weeks ago I got a cell and a talk and text plan only, I don't talk but text. Will check it out to see if it has the feature you are referring to. I have an appointment next week with my Audiologist, I will ask her about the captioning as well. Thank you for the link.

The link is to a service that just works on cell phones. I, of course, don't know the exact plan you are on but it sounds like you will need to change to one that includes data.

Take the time to really sit down and read all of the sections of the site in the link (except for the phone that you do not have. Like if you have an iPhone there is no need to read the sections about a phone that uses the Android operating system) on your computer because it is easier to read anything, in my opinion, on a larger screen.

Then feel free to ask any questions you have both on their site and here. Also, some audiologists are probably more familiar with cell phone apps than others. Hopefully yours is one that can really help with this.
 
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