Hate your own family??

Hating other people only hurts yourself. If their presence is negative and disturbing to you, it's best to keep a distance between you.

Don't give them the power to hurt your soul or control your feelings. That's what results from hate.
 
"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal
with the intent of throwing it at someone else;
you are the one who gets burned."
 
I can't say I hate anyone really. But there are many people I will no longer be around because they make me angry, fear for my life, or they are just plain a-holes.

I have a brother who I have a restraining order on. He would be one of those people I could live without seeing for the rest of my life.

My Grandmothers side of the family. They are very fake people and make me feel like I am the black sheep. Along with my grandfathers side of the family. So I do not particularly like them very much. I avoid them at all costs. (Which I live hours away from all of them!)
 
Dude, divide and conquer. I like to use the dogs analogy, "packs of dogs have more balls than just one". If you are going to meet family, do it one on one. Meet with your dad or with your brother, but never at the same time. If you do this, they can't play off each other.

Furthermore, I can't stress education enough, if you father is not educated he will treat you different once you get a higher level degree.

We all go through this so I really wouldn't worry about it.
 
rockin'robin said:
That's really a negative thing to say....even tho' a family member did something horrific to me and we did not settle the difference before he died...still I wished him well on his "new journey"...and I hold no more hate in the situation, only a sadness that it could not be resolved before it was too late....

We live, breathe and die....time is still on the OP side...whether he takes the first step is up to him. I'm hoping he will (if he is serious)....
Click to expand...

I could less if my ex brother dies, I am not going to lose sleep over him. There was rumor that my exbrother had dies , one of his old buddies called his first ex wife as he heard her ex husband had dies. Someone had spread a rumor around that he was dead . I do not believe in heaven and hell or a next life. I know my ex brother could a shit what I say about him ,he think of himself as being a great guy and that he can do no wrong. He raped my older sister more than one time and he tried to rape one of my girlfriend.
He belong behind bars! And I tried my best to put him there!
 
I am sorry to read about all of your experiences with destructive family relations.

I don't hate anyone in my family but worry about some members who are making poor choices in their lives.
 
grummer-

I hope you find peace with your dad and brother one day soon but good idea to stay away from them and about rifle.. not good idea or u wud find yourself in prison for from 25 years to life possible in mental hopsital or worse.. but really did u try to write your anger down in a journal that may will make you feel better but otherwise than that I don't mean to take offense but just suggesting to help you to find peace that's all
 
:shock:
crazyerica32 said:
grummer-

I hope you find peace with your dad and brother one day soon but good idea to stay away from them and about rifle.. not good idea or u wud find yourself in prison for from 25 years to life possible in mental hopsital or worse.. but really did u try to write your anger down in a journal that may will make you feel better but otherwise than that I don't mean to take offense but just suggesting to help you to find peace that's all
Click to expand...

That's sweet of you and I agree.
 
:dunno2: Any relative member have a right to hate his or her own family.

Let's say... if your family loves your Deaf child more than you because he/she can speak and you can't? Uh, yeah. There are some cases where families favor successful Deaf siblings over "failure" Deaf siblings... Stupid parents can say they claim they don't have a time to learn ASL and are busy with another siblings' sports and after school programs, ignoring "failure" ones.

So... if any family, hearing or not, have a horrible situation as such like abusive, neglect, and etc, then those another relatives have a reason to hate/dislike their own family members. Someone doesn't have to respect and/or love his/her own parents and his/her family, so why should adult children have to suffer their selfishness and harming their beloved ones?

Just :2c:.
 
Grummer, if ranting helps you release the hate, then feel free to use AD as your sounding board instead of an angry confrontation with the family. We can take it.

I'm just sorry that you have such an awful experience with your family. :(

Like others here, I hope you can someday find peace.
 
I am late to this party...but here it goes..

rockin'robin said:
Sorry to hear this Grummer....bitterness can eat you up and spit you out. Don't wait too long to perhaps sit down with both ur Dad and brother and let them know your feelings if possible and try to make some amends.
Click to expand...

Sometimes they don't changes even if you sit down and let them know how your feelings. Takes it from me.

Lau2046 said:
Very sad post...probably one of the saddest I've encountered on this forum. To hate your own family is a tragedy...how much love you all miss out on by choice.
Laura
Click to expand...

Laura, I feel you dont really understand...So count yourself blessed and lucky. What grummer experienced is not love, so why should he love them regardless? He didn't asked for it. I am sure gummer would make a better parent than his own father and brothers.

whatdidyousay! said:
drphil said:
I wonder what his brother's reaction would be reading the above?
Click to expand...
He mostly likely would not give a shit.
Click to expand...

I agreed.

whatdidyousay! said:
Hate run very deep in my family . My dad hated his dad and would not take my mother to see the grave site of his dad. One of dad's brother hated him.

I hate my ex brother , I have disowned him and so has his 2 daughters and his two other sisters and mom was afraid of her own son. Believe me no love is lost in my family. My ex brother raped my oldest sister , stole money from me that was from my settlement from getting hit by a car as a child.
He also stole a lot of money from our 93 yo mother. Mom was so afraid of her son that gave him my money that was in a joint account. I was not told about this until years later as my mom and older sister where too afraid of my ex brother. He asked me for the money and I told him 'NO"! So he worked on my poor mom until she gave in. So there no love lost here ,.
I was glad when my mom dies so her son could no longer bully her on her death bed.
Click to expand...

That makes me mad. Wish your ex brother balls and wiener got chopped off.

As for myself, I hate my family except for my Mom(sadly she passed away years ago). How my family treats me isn't love although they felt it is out of "love". I am not going to elaborate it in here because it is very painful. It goes beyond not learning to communicate with me (either via ASL or on paper).

If those of you with "toxic parent", read "Toxic Parents" by Susan Forward. The author also wrote books on the same topic involved lovers, in laws, and others.
 
Last edited:
Grummer, *patting on your back* I am in your same club. Now my Deaf brother has a hatred heart against Nazi brother recently, thanks to the discovery of his long e-mail correspondence to my father few months ago. Although my Deaf brother has personality and lying issues on other things.
 
Thought this was interesting, but in some ways you're not alone Grummer. I have a mom who occasionally abuses prescription drugs and an occasional hard drinking dad (reason I moved to FL). Taunting seems like a piece of cake compared to dealing with people under the influence of something or other. So take heart, perhaps it isn't you, just their vague sense of humor.
 
Feel sure that a lot of people have times of hatred towards someone or something.....and for good reason...and sometimes not....But letting it consume you for years upon years...it's not good for the soul or even your own emotional stability....even your daily life. It will/can make you a very bitter person on the inside.

You can never be truely at peace with yourself holding in hatred...forgiveness is good for anyone, no matter the situation...And the ol' saying...I forgive..but not forget...still rings true.

Trying to be at peace with yourself isn't easy when you have hatred ....but life isn't easy either...why make it harder on yourself?...And trying to "understand" why people do things or act they way they do....forget it!...You can drive yourself crazy trying to figure it out.....Just forgive..and move on if possible, not holding that hate inside....

Life is too short to feel bitterness or hatred towards someone.
 
Oh boy ugly subject but very real and common. Sometimes saying u wanna punch or chop em up doesn't mean u will but is a form of releasing anger.. I know im guilty for saying it.. when I was younger my older bro did make fun of me and not include me in plans.. I was very timid and shy but entered teens one day older bro made fun of my deafness and how I talked. I told him to leave me alone repeatedly. He wouldn't .. I snapped and beat him up to pulp..and ever since some 20-25 years passed he never made fun of me again. I regretted it but it happened. Do I hate him? No just not part of his life..
 
katz4life said:
Grummer, *patting on your back* I am in your same club. Now my Deaf brother has a hatred heart against Nazi brother recently, thanks to the discovery of his long e-mail correspondence to my father few months ago. Although my Deaf brother has personality and lying issues on other things.
Click to expand...

oh really. :(
 
yeah, I get ya. :(

I have someone like that in my own family. Tragic and hopeless situation, because
all what you want is to be close with your own kin, eh?

Ask yourself these two questions:

1. what do they want from you?
2. what do they want from you?

You know what you want from them. But what the hell they want from you as a sister and a daughter, a person, a human being?

Everybody is made in certain way, have some personality and as such is accepted, period. So do you. They either accept and respect you like everyone else does or leave you alone. Or, you can distance yourself from this including severe the ties - because you don't need this.

Nothing to deliberate about here.

Fuzzy
 
my family no problem no argue. :) my family strong respect and love value to heart... really kindly family value . I believe to my family is very warm love care. They no argue. they seems good kindly family postive. many times year long times enjoy! :) of course wonderful!
 
Sad that people can just give up on relationships and walk away....this is why the divorce rate is so high...no one tries any more.
 
Back
Top