Hate me?

RoseRodent

Member
While I am not saying someone who is essentially hearing should wish to be deaf, I do know many hard of hearing people who feel not a part of either the hearing or deaf world. I have met some deaf people with a progressive loss who have said they hating being a hard of hearing person and are much happier as a deaf person. While life isn't easier, they are more comfortable with their identity - discarding their hearing aid or CI and being completely visual rather than trying hear.

Yes, that. I think it's easy to accidentally say "I wish I were fully deaf" when having a brutal moment of depression than to tease out that what you actually mean is "I wish one or the other or both communities would accept me". I can't bear the term Hard of Hearing, it's right up there with other words that are so universally felt to be offensive that I probably would get banned for writing them - the N word, the R word. Makes me shudder. Probably mostly because people are always so keen to have you sorted, are you deaf or HoH and I don't know why it matters because someone HoH with a very tiny loss and eeny weeny hearing aids isn't the same as someone with two massive hearing aids who can't use the phone but we all get thrown in together.

For me personally I sometimes say I wish the high frequency part of my hearing would go away because then I could be rid of the sounds that give me pain and I might be eligible for an implant that would probably improve my hearing overall, though not sure what a CI makes of sounds that are normally distorted. I hear HF sounds OK, but they are gibberish, not at the frequencies they belong. It messes with music unbearably, and what do I do for a living? Musician!
 

RoseRodent

Member
I am find with calling myself hard of hearing and I personally feel is doesn't come close to being as horrible as the 'N' word which is a racist remark .

Words become offensive because of what they represent to the people offended by them. The R word used to be a perfectly acceptable clinical diagnosis, as did lunatic, Mongol, etc. "Handicapped" is an interesting one because it's still often used in the USA but would get some serious opprobrium in the UK. If you've ever been called something with the specific intention to cause offence, that word generally becomes offensive. If a whole community has a shared background like that, the word becomes taboo to everyone. Sadly for me, lots of people are OK with HoH and not OK with Hearing Impaired, which I prefer but can't say because it upsets other people! :dizzy:
 
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