Hard of hearing Girlfriend

Akumu

New Member
Hello everyone, starting this thread i just wanted to say that I AM NOT DEAF/HARD OF HEARING, but my current girlfriend is, i want to make our relationship as normal as it can be between two people, but also get as much info on certain topic as possible and there is not better place than here I think, so couple of things:

1) What activities can we do together than we both will find fun, she wont be able to damage her hearing aid OR she can do the activity without the hearing aid. Anything goes, inside or outside, just two of us or in a small group, more ideas the better.
2) When would she be the most at danger? For example there are times where we are walking together and we have to cross the street in city centre, and it always scares me when im stopping faster since i can hear car coming from a certain direction, my instinct just makes me wanna grab her hand and pull back if we are don't hold hands at that time, so any other places that she could really be at danger? I just want her to be safe.
3) I've already accepted that this relationship might look like this till end of our lives, but i wanted to ask about current technology of either: really good hearing aid that makes the receiving sounds very clear or some type of surgery maybe that can fix majority of the hearing loss? As i said, it's just an option if she wanted to do so but i still want to get that info.
4) I've read quite a bit of how to talk to her so she has easier way of understanding me, but are there any "tips" I should know about just co-existing with her? Like how to get her attention from couple meters in the house when she doesn't have her hearing aid on and so on, again, any help is appreciated.

Sorry for long post, but i just want the best for her and our relationship overall.
 

deerheart12

Member
I think the best person to answer those questions is your girlfriend. We don't know her level of hearing to give you the best answer. But I can provide you some tips.

1. I think any activity will be fine. If your girlfriend has lived with her hearing loss for a long time she will let you know what she can or can't do.

2. Again, if she has lived with her hearing loss for a long time, she is probably used to it and uses her other senses like her eyes, her hearing aids, or vibrations to help her. Of course, being on a date it's fine to steer her to a safer side if you'd like. Even I am distracted at times and don't see a car coming. Ask her if she needs extra help. But again you don't want to coddle her independent.

3. Hearing aids and any kind of surgery like cochlear implants are a very personal decision and should be decided upon on the deaf/hard of hearing person only. For example: I am hard of hearing and I wear two hearing aids and I feel comfortable wearing them. I might benefit from cochlear implants but I don't want to for many reasons, speech training, costs, surgery risks. Another person may benefit hearing aids but chooses not to buy or wear them it is their choice. I believe it's important to respect her choices and go from there.

4. Again, ask her how she would like to be called on from across the room. Wave your hand to get her attention? Flick light on or off? Each person will have their preference. I may not like the foot stomping like some Deaf people do or the touching on my back as it might scared me lol !

If she uses the closed captioning on tv or for movies always set it up ready for her that would be really nice. I for myself love closed captioning or subtitles.

Google for more information like typing in - Deaf culture, Tips for Dating a Deaf Person, How to treat a hard of hearing person and so on.
She she uses sign language maybe take a class later on and you will learn more about the deaf cutlure. Not every deaf or hard of hearing person will use sign language
Hope this helps!
 

Akumu

New Member
I think the best person to answer those questions is your girlfriend. We don't know her level of hearing to give you the best answer. But I can provide you some tips.

1. I think any activity will be fine. If your girlfriend has lived with her hearing loss for a long time she will let you know what she can or can't do.

2. Again, if she has lived with her hearing loss for a long time, she is probably used to it and uses her other senses like her eyes, her hearing aids, or vibrations to help her. Of course, being on a date it's fine to steer her to a safer side if you'd like. Even I am distracted at times and don't see a car coming. Ask her if she needs extra help. But again you don't want to coddle her independent.

3. Hearing aids and any kind of surgery like cochlear implants are a very personal decision and should be decided upon on the deaf/hard of hearing person only. For example: I am hard of hearing and I wear two hearing aids and I feel comfortable wearing them. I might benefit from cochlear implants but I don't want to for many reasons, speech training, costs, surgery risks. Another person may benefit hearing aids but chooses not to buy or wear them it is their choice. I believe it's important to respect her choices and go from there.

4. Again, ask her how she would like to be called on from across the room. Wave your hand to get her attention? Flick light on or off? Each person will have their preference. I may not like the foot stomping like some Deaf people do or the touching on my back as it might scared me lol !

If she uses the closed captioning on tv or for movies always set it up ready for her that would be really nice. I for myself love closed captioning or subtitles.

Google for more information like typing in - Deaf culture, Tips for Dating a Deaf Person, How to treat a hard of hearing person and so on.
She she uses sign language maybe take a class later on and you will learn more about the deaf cutlure. Not every deaf or hard of hearing person will use sign language
Hope this helps!

Thank you for your time, some time after posting this I thought to myself that i should just ask her about this stuff and she will probably be happy to see that i care about her in this way and be happy to answer lol. Still though, thank you and I didn't even realise that every hard of hearing/deaf person might have different ways of going about day-to-day stuff, my apologies if I seemed arrogant, if you ever think of some other stuff that I should know from now on, you can message me on this forum or leave another reply in the post, I will probably be staying here for a while.
 
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