Hard night...

candybrowneyes

candybrowneyes

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I feel so terrible sometimes, not because I have troubles hearing things but how the people that are supposed to help me, and understand that this is very hard for me.

Tonight I was watching TV at my parents house. They won't put the CC on the tv for me because they hate when I have the TV up loud. I can't even watch TV with my family because they just dont care. I turned it up and my dad who was in their bedroom SLAMMED his door shut. The whole time my mom was watching with me and she was telling me to turn it down, so I turn it down a little and I ask her can I please put the CC on and she seriously had to ask me "Why?" and then says "I dont like it on there, it gets in the way"

I finally just turned it down and left. And now I am sitting here crying because I can tell them over and over again how I feel and then they wonder why I never want to spend time there with them. Making me feel bad because I cannot hear when they do nothing to help me, something as simple as CC? My dad got so mad he had to slam the bedroom door??

:cry:
 
candybrowneyes said:
I feel so terrible sometimes, not because I have troubles hearing things but how the people that are supposed to help me, and understand that this is very hard for me.

Tonight I was watching TV at my parents house. They won't put the CC on the tv for me because they hate when I have the TV up loud. I can't even watch TV with my family because they just dont care. I turned it up and my dad who was in their bedroom SLAMMED his door shut. The whole time my mom was watching with me and she was telling me to turn it down, so I turn it down a little and I ask her can I please put the CC on and she seriously had to ask me "Why?" and then says "I dont like it on there, it gets in the way"

I finally just turned it down and left. And now I am sitting here crying because I can tell them over and over again how I feel and then they wonder why I never want to spend time there with them. Making me feel bad because I cannot hear when they do nothing to help me, something as simple as CC? My dad got so mad he had to slam the bedroom door??

:cry:
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:hug:

:( I am sorry to hear that your parents are treating you this way.

It is always hard when they do not understand.
 
The trouble is your parents does not know what it is like to go silence and never thought that you can not hear the sounds at all even if you have to hear it with your hearing aids or CIs. Maybe you can show your mom why you need the CC on the T.V. and just turn off the sounds from the T.V. and make sure no other noises is interfering in the room and let them see the CC that it is easy to read the words than the sounds. If they don't like for you to turn up the sounds too loud, that is exactly what you need to tell your parents why you need CC so that you don't have to turn up the loud sounds from the T.V. Most hearing parents or hearing people just don't like having the CC on it, because it get in the way like blocking off the face or what was on the bottom of the T.V. screen. We can always turn off the CC if we are not going to watch the prgrams. I hope I make sense to you on this. Someone here in AD can explain better than me. I hope that would work with your parents. :fingersx:
 
My opinion is you will learn why some of us are hostile who have done what you just started for all our own lifetimes.

Few are saints. Eventually you will stop crying and be angry.
 
Oh and if anyone wants to be shocked by my attitude, it is also science.

Psychology, the stages of grief.

Jillio should be here to help you.
 
Bottesini said:
Oh and if anyone wants to be shocked by my attitude, it is also science.

Psychology, the stages of grief.

Jillio should be here to help you.
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Not that I am shocked by what you said and it is hardly the stages of grief. My tears come because this is my family. If it was someone who didnt matter to me it wouldnt have made a difference. While I understand you have been going through this your whole life and many others. I have had but 7 months to get used to this. A lot of people here will not and do not understand what it is like to lose something you have had your entire life, it changes your life and everyone inside your life, lives. I will make due, I was venting and upset, after all isnt this what this place is for? To share feelings and emotions and to have someone say, It will be okay is all I need sometimes.
 
candybrowneyes said:
Not that I am shocked by what you said and it is hardly the stages of grief. My tears come because this is my family. If it was someone who didnt matter to me it wouldnt have made a difference. While I understand you have been going through this your whole life and many others. I have had but 7 months to get used to this. A lot of people here will not and do not understand what it is like to lose something you have had your entire life, it changes your life and everyone inside your life, lives. I will make due, I was venting and upset, after all isnt this what this place is for? To share feelings and emotions and to have someone say, It will be okay is all I need sometimes.
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You are wrong. Before you were being very positive. That stage is "denial", I am suggesting you get help.

I do understand you lost something even if it is something I never had.

I could lose a child and I would go through the stages of grief.

It is inevitable.

I am telling you for your benefit.
 
Bottesini said:
You are wrong. Before you were being very positive. That stage is "denial", I am suggesting you get help.

I do understand you lost something even if it is something I never had.

I could lose a child and I would go through the stages of grief.

It is inevitable.

I am telling you for your benefit.
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I certainly understand what you are saying and why would you assume I am not getting help? I am not upset right now because I have lost my hearing, what I am upset about is my FAMILY not being supportive. I came here to express my feelings that I am having at this second because this was the first place I felt I wouldn't be judged. I see my therapist once a week, not that EVERYONE here needed to know that but I needed to vent just now. Apparently I was wrong in thinking I could come here and do that. Thanks for the advice though.. I appreciate it.
 
When the TV was turned way loud, what was the actual issue for them? Was it that they could not hear each other talking easily? Do you see what I see here? They took a brief journey into the world of "temporary hearing impairment" and did not like it. Hmmm....
 
candybrowneyes said:
I certainly understand what you are saying and why would you assume I am not getting help? I am not upset right now because I have lost my hearing, what I am upset about is my FAMILY not being supportive. I came here to express my feelings that I am having at this second because this was the first place I felt I wouldn't be judged. I see my therapist once a week, not that EVERYONE here needed to know that but I needed to vent just now. Apparently I was wrong in thinking I could come here and do that. Thanks for the advice though.. I appreciate it.
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For example, generally, a long period of "depression" (not clinical depression), isolation, and loneliness happen late in the grief process, months after the tragedy strikes. It actually is normal and expected for you to be very depressed and sad eight months later.
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I think you are being sarcastic, but I am showing you this in case you were sincere.

And give you the source. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross theory. Reading her work would be helpful.

7 STAGES OF GRIEF
 
Damn, they need to understand a bit better on what have been going on with you CBE, you might need to confront with them and tell them why you are being affected. They have to understand about your condition better, there is no reason they get angry becuase of this. I believe, they might be ignorants, but you might have considered that you have the right to be angry with your parents.

But you know, CBE, on AD, you all have the support from all of us :D
 
saywhatkid said:
When the TV was turned way loud, what was the actual issue for them? Was it that they could not hear each other talking easily? Do you see what I see here? They took a brief journey into the world of "temporary hearing impairment" and did not like it. Hmmm....
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It wasnt even that loud or so I thought but who knows.. They could talk and hear eachother just fine that is why I was so frustrated. Then they have the audacity to complain that I don't want to spend time around them.
 
Bottesini said:
I think you are being sarcastic, but I am showing you this in case you were sincere.

And give you the source. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross theory. Reading her work would be helpful.

7 STAGES OF GRIEF
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I appreciate the link and part of my post was sarcastic but I was sincere when I said thank you for the advice, just a little frustrated when I do know what you are saying. I get a bit annoyed when people think one thing after I try explain that isn't what is upsetting me. Right now at this moment I am not upset that my hearing is gone, what is upsetting is my family.
I know I am going through different stages and yes I was very positive before. I expected to have more time, instead my hearing took a nose dive into oblivion just like a plane crash and sometimes I wonder how or when I will be able to find the little black box to see how much damage it will do emotionally to me. I have good days, I have great days and I have terrible and horrible days. Those days are usually when this damn MM plays havoc on my life and I am so sick to even realize what is going on in the real world. But that day isn't today. Today was my family being down right rude to me. That is what hurts..
 
JClarke said:
Damn, they need to understand a bit better on what have been going on with you CBE, you might need to confront with them and tell them why you are being affected. They have to understand about your condition better, there is no reason they get angry becuase of this. I believe, they might be ignorants, but you might have considered that you have the right to be angry with your parents.

But you know, CBE, on AD, you all have the support from all of us :D
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Yes, you get what I am saying! I have confronted them, its like they dont want to be bothered! I can tell them till I am blue in the face and still they dont get it. And trust me I appreciate the support more than you know.
 
Candy:

I can't even imagine what you are going through and I won't suggest that I do.
I don't know all of how you became HOH but just reading that you have only been dealing with this for a few months leads me to think so have your parents. They may be in denial about what has been going on with you. Does that make what is happening right? Absolutely not but its just another thing to think about. They may need to speak with someone ( if they aren't already) who can shed some light on what is going on for you.

Maybe take them to some Deaf events or expose them more to the HOH/Deaf community.

I saw someone else here had written that they got up and turn the volume down all the way and sat down. When their parent said " HEY WHY DID YOU DO THAT I CANT HEAR IT!?" They simply replied " Now you know how my world is".... so they put the CC on.

Personally I can not see doing that to a loved one in my home or elsewhere. If you need the CC on so be it....


Parents have a hard time accepting changes in their children and many times when the change is something life altering they really turn a blind eye to it.

Its good to vent ...... keep on ... it will help keep you from bottling up anger and frustration.

Me I am a big writer, maybe you should keep an online diary ( if you dont already) so you can just type your feelings away when your stressed.....

if I could I'd give you a big hug!!
 
candybrowneyes said:
I appreciate the link and part of my post was sarcastic but I was sincere when I said thank you for the advice, just a little frustrated when I do know what you are saying. I get a bit annoyed when people think one thing after I try explain that isn't what is upsetting me. Right now at this moment I am not upset that my hearing is gone, what is upsetting is my family.
I know I am going through different stages and yes I was very positive before. I expected to have more time, instead my hearing took a nose dive into oblivion just like a plane crash and sometimes I wonder how or when I will be able to find the little black box to see how much damage it will do emotionally to me. I have good days, I have great days and I have terrible and horrible days. Those days are usually when this damn MM plays havoc on my life and I am so sick to even realize what is going on in the real world. But that day isn't today. Today was my family being down right rude to me. That is what hurts..
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I understand that and I will not tell you any more if you don't want me to, but it is part of the process and your grief that things are different and you don't have the same relationship with your family.

All of it connects. I wish Jillio were here.
 
IWant2Learn said:
Candy:

I can't even imagine what you are going through and I won't suggest that I do.
I don't know all of how you became HOH but just reading that you have only been dealing with this for a few months leads me to think so have your parents. They may be in denial about what has been going on with you. Does that make what is happening right? Absolutely not but its just another thing to think about. They may need to speak with someone ( if they aren't already) who can shed some light on what is going on for you.
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Thanks so much... I know that is a little part of it but I have done things to make them aware. Taken them to ENT appointments, Audi appointments. Even left ASL books suggested many things. I do have a blog online that I have been keeping a long time. That is what I do also, I am a writer =) Its just the lack of caring sometimes with them. They get so caught up in their own problems. I have even emailed my family and my close friends to give them detailed things to read and how things are for me. This is why it hurts me a lot is because its like they didnt read those things, my feelings. I feel like if they had they would understand a little better. My mom has no problem introducing me to new people sometimes and telling them right off the bat that "I am going Deaf." But she.. I dunno... Thank you for your post. And I would take that hug.. :hug:
 
Bottesini said:
I understand that and I will not tell you any more if you don't want me to, but it is part of the process and your grief that things are different and you don't have the same relationship with your family.

All of it connects. I wish Jillio were here.
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I know what you are saying and I am sorry for snapping at bit at you... just a tough night.. :ty: for taking the time to care though I really do appreciate it.
 
candybrowneyes said:
I know what you are saying and I am sorry for snapping at bit at you... just a tough night.. :ty: for taking the time to care though I really do appreciate it.
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It's ok. I can take it!:P

(Besides helping people Jillio also explains me.)
 
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