Thank you for saying what I was going to say. I was two-faced about this issue before as I was in denial about my Usher's. I need to go and get my handicapped permit because I do have quite a bit of health issues that requires a shorter parking distance.
Don't be too hard on yourself, though. My Dad is going through a bit of an adjustment with the new limitations the lung disease has placed on him. He no longer has the stamina to do all the things he could do before. God Bless him, he still does what he can. However the fact remains, he's limited now. He's trying to accept it, but he gets understandably upset... and he's stubborn!
When the subject of the placard came up, the first words out of his mouth were "I don't need one." Mom looked at him like he lost his bloody mind! They debated the issue for a few mins until he finally said..."We'll just use the one we have for Ocean..." He uses it, but begrudges it still.
It takes time to adjust to restrictions placed on one's ability to do things they once enjoyed doing before they lost whatever function they had. so, I honestly don't think it's being two-faced. It's more of a matter of adjusting to circumstances and coming to accept them in one's own time. Personally, I don't blame you for being angry or whatever other feelings you had. You certainly were entitled to them; just like my Dad is entitled to his feelings of anger and such.