For BeadFairy or Other CODAs

G

Gemtun

Guest
Tara, you mentioned in the other thread that you and your sister are hearing children of deaf parents. I was impressed by your love of Deaf Culture and the fact that you would incorporate ASL into your art. That sparked my curiousity.

I am a deaf single mom of 2 girls. They are now 9 and 8. While I realize that my situation is not same as yours as my ex is hearing but I wanted to ask you anyway.

Do you have any suggestions how I could help my daughters become more comfortable with Deaf Culture? Growing up, did you get embarassed when your classmates met your deaf parents? Did you get also embarrassed when store cashiers or strangers talk to your parents and see that your parents didnt respond to them appropriately?

For example, I was at the store today with my youngest daughter, Caroline. She poked me in my waist and pointed at a stranger. I looked up to see this person asking me if I needed any help. Caroline ran off as fast as she could.My daughters tend to do that - they tend to look away and point at a stranger talking to me. After the store, we stopped at Starbucks. The barista was asking us what we wanted. I was looking at the menu and didn't realize the barista was talking to me. Again, Caroline poked me in my waist and pointed at the barista. Caroline also ran off in this instance.

Sometimes I feel that my daughters are embarrased of me and want to run off so that they wouldnt get stuck in uncomfortable situations with me also.

I guess what I am trying to ask is that how did you really feel when you were growing up with deaf parents and dealing with the public? My daughters does not sign much and I have been trying but they are too impatient.

Hope Im making sense.
 
:applause: Great thread Meg!!!! :applause: , :thumb:

I am glad I'm not alone in this as a parent, I would like to hear the answer to that question for myself too and how to get my boys to feel more comfortable with the Deaf Culture?....My ex husband is hearing also, so it was more of a habit of using my voice than using sign language 24/7..now that I have hoh boyfriend, we sign more around the children....I also noticed that my boys feel kind of embarrassed when I sign to them in public places, or having them sign to me back....How do I make them feel more comfortable to be able to sign no matter where we are at, either at home or out in public places....
 
^Angel^ said:
:applause: Great thread Meg!!!! :applause: , :thumb:

I am glad I'm not alone in this as a parent, I would like to hear the answer to that question for myself too and how to get my boys to feel more comfortable with the Deaf Culture?....My ex husband is hearing also, so it was more of a habit of using my voice than using sign language 24/7..now that I have hoh boyfriend, we sign more around the children....I also noticed that my boys feel kind of embarrassed when I sign to them in public places, or having them sign to me back....How do I make them feel more comfortable to be able to sign no matter where we are at, either at home or out in public places....
Click to expand...

Thanks Angel.

Glad Im not the only one in this! I have been signing more and more but my daughters get embarrassed and ask me to use my voice. I use my voice alot but I prefer signing.

I have dated so many men since my divorce 5 years ago. Each time I dated someone, my daughters were very unnaturally curious whether he was deaf or not. They kept saying they want the guy to be hearing so they can talk to him but want a deaf man for me. They seem very confused. They want to see me happy yet they shy away from learning ASL more, etc.

The last guy I dated (for 9 months - and he uses ASL and doenst have good speech) met my girls. When Caroline met him, she immediately came to me in private " Mommy I like him but I cannot understand him. I don't want to hurt his feelings."

Its really hard to be trapped in the no man's place.
 
Meg said:
Thanks Angel.

Glad Im not the only one in this! I have been signing more and more but my daughters get embarrassed and ask me to use my voice. I use my voice alot but I prefer signing.

I have dated so many men since my divorce 5 years ago. Each time I dated someone, my daughters were very unnaturally curious whether he was deaf or not. They kept saying they want the guy to be hearing so they can talk to him but want a deaf man for me. They seem very confused. They want to see me happy yet they shy away from learning ASL more, etc.

The last guy I dated (for 9 months - and he uses ASL and doenst have good speech) met my girls. When Caroline met him, she immediately came to me in private " Mommy I like him but I cannot understand him. I don't want to hurt his feelings."

Its really hard to be trapped in the no man's place.
Click to expand...

AWWWW how cute!!!
i remember how much they liked him!! sheesh!!
 
Meg said:
The last guy I dated (for 9 months - and he uses ASL and doenst have good speech) met my girls. When Caroline met him, she immediately came to me in private " Mommy I like him but I cannot understand him. I don't want to hurt his feelings."
Click to expand...

Awww how cuteeeee!!...Hon, you aren't alone :grouphug: , I am in the same situation with my boys here, I don't know why they feel the need for me to use my voice than signing to them...
 
Grownin up with deaf parents

Hi
Boy what a tough question! Growin up with deaf parents at times were hard. When we would go to the store, I would hear people talking and pointing to my parents. I would act deaf and then start speaking, alot of time being rude to the ones who were ignorant.I did do alot of interpreting for them growing up. People would turn red because I heard what they said and I had said something back to them.I was a mouthy child. My parents would take my sister and I to alot of deaf parties, conventions, etc. I would see all of them interact. I dont know why I have such a great love for the deaf. I think it is because the deaf have great love themselves and would share it with me. I am the only one in my family who know sign langugage. I was proud to know it and when I started school, my friends were amazed that I knew sign language and that I grew up with deaf parents. My mother taught me sign language when I was very little. She would take me around the house and point to items and show me the sign for it. She would teach me songs like Jesus loves me and such. I would suggest making sign language fun, make a game, a song and start that way. My mother was raise that she shouldnt know sign language and that people shouldnt know that she could not hear. I guess my grandparents wanted to protect her. Maybe talk to your children and tell them that sign language is very important to you. It is a another language like spanish, french, etc. So that communication can be understood. Being deaf is not an embarrasment, it is who you are. And we are all different and special in our own way! I think that maybe growing up, I would protect my parents more that they becoming an embarrament to me. Maybe there are event where your children can be around more children who have deaf parents. I know when I was growing up I hung around alot of kids who had deaf parents. And we all knew sign and it was just the norm. As for dating, I would date someone who make you happy, deaf or not. And someone who will be kind to your children. I wouldnt date someone that can hear so that your children can talk to them. There are some fun books for children so that they can learn sign. I would tell your children that sign language is an important part of who you are. And that you want to share with them the beauty of the language. I would start with words that are easy to learn like tree. Tree in sign looks like a tree. Start with signs that expressive of what the word means. And sign language is not only used for deaf people. Alot of people are teaching their babies sign. And I alway run into deaf people and introduce my self. Tell your children that sign language can be use throughout their whole lives. They can even later down the line and get good jobs as an intrepreter. I need to think more about this question and come back.
Tara
 
Aww :aw: ...Can I adopt you Tara? :giggle: ...I bet your parents are so proud to have a daugther like you who is soo into the " Deaf Culture ", and I do feel for you when it came to hard times dealing with people around your parents, but I tell you this, it was really nice that you stood up for them even tho they are not aware what was being said around them....I really do love your story and really adore you :hug:
 
Back
Top