First ASL class to re-learn my native language

[rebeccalj]

I cannot say how incredible I feel tonight. Invigorated? Alive? Whole?

I register for ASL to "re-learn" my native language and tonight was first class. I immediately feel at home in class as teacher does not speak but only sign, do facial expression, write on white board to teach. No English allowed. No speaking. At all! Any time someone speak to her she make Deaf expression like, "Do you think I know what you're saying? English and speaking *NOT* allowed here! Did you not read lesson notes??" Teacher hilarious!

It is make very clear that English is a different language. Deaf culture is taught. What is okay, what isn't, how hearies are so opposite from deafies though teacher not use those terms (ie: hearies versus deafies) and I watch teacher and see she almost write those terms.

I think I'm only deafie in a very, very full class of hearies all but one very young. College age. It intimidate me until she ask, with sign, expression and words on whiteboard, who knows finger spelling and sign. I raise my hand both times and feel *SO* proud because, from what I can tell, lots raise hand for finger spelling but only me and someone else, who I didn't look around to look at, know some sign! Silly really but I do feel proud in class!

She ask me a few times to do mime to certain expression because they are like, how do you say, things hearies normally do with talking with hand? Does that make sense? I try not to do ASL that I know but when paired with young partner to talk about our day, as mime exercise, I cannot help but use ASL to explain my day. I am *SO* comfortable talking with hands, even though I don't know all expressions, but partner looks now intimidated. Me think she knows what ASL look like. Teacher notice, too.

I feel like, finally, home. I don't know the right words. I'm just excited to learn my native language again. It come *SO* naturally to me having learned it from birth even though taken away. It was *STILL* there!! This is what surprise me!! It still there!! All these years away from it but it was like, how do you say, slice of bread? Riding a bike? Don't know right expression.

Just *SO* happy to share experience. Next class Wednesday and I sign to teacher, before I leave class, that I will be late for. She ask me if I have baby. Uhm, no. Board meeting. She sign "meeting" for me. I thank her for lesson. AMAZING Deaf teacher!

The only thing that bug me is that when teacher leave to get water I see hearie students start to laugh. Grant they are young, and who knows why they at class, but it bug me for Deaf community that they laugh that expressive teacher, with sense of humour, is funny and maybe I see, "Joke?" It really bug me and I want to stand up and sign to class about what a bunch of fucking losers they are and how ignorant they are but choose not to. <sorry for bad language>

Should I have? I could have made PFH proud.

ETA: I'm sorry for lack of proper English grammar. When I'm upset or happy I have trouble with little words.

 

[GrendelQ]

I cannot say how incredible I feel tonight. Invigorated? Alive? Whole?

I register for ASL to "re-learn" my native language and tonight was first class. I immediately feel at home in class as teacher does not speak but only sign, do facial expression, write on white board to teach. No English allowed. No speaking. At all! Any time someone speak to her she make Deaf expression like, "Do you think I know what you're saying? English and speaking *NOT* allowed here! Did you not read lesson notes??" Teacher hilarious!

It is make very clear that English is a different language. Deaf culture is taught. What is okay, what isn't, how hearies are so opposite from deafies though teacher not use those terms (ie: hearies versus deafies) and I watch teacher and see she almost write those terms.

I think I'm only deafie in a very, very full class of hearies all but one very young. College age. It intimidate me until she ask, with sign, expression and words on whiteboard, who knows finger spelling and sign. I raise my hand both times and feel *SO* proud because, from what I can tell, lots raise hand for finger spelling but only me and someone else, who I didn't look around to look at, know some sign! Silly really but I do feel proud in class!

She ask me a few times to do mime to certain expression because they are like, how do you say, things hearies normally do with talking with hand? Does that make sense? I try not to do ASL that I know but when paired with young partner to talk about our day, as mime exercise, I cannot help but use ASL to explain my day. I am *SO* comfortable talking with hands, even though I don't know all expressions, but partner looks now intimidated. Me think she knows what ASL look like. Teacher notice, too.

I feel like, finally, home. I don't know the right words. I'm just excited to learn my native language again. It come *SO* naturally to me having learned it from birth even though taken away. It was *STILL* there!! This is what surprise me!! It still there!! All these years away from it but it was like, how do you say, slice of bread? Riding a bike? Don't know right expression.

Just *SO* happy to share experience. Next class Wednesday and I sign to teacher, before I leave class, that I will be late for. She ask me if I have baby. Uhm, no. Board meeting. She sign "meeting" for me. I thank her for lesson. AMAZING Deaf teacher!

The only thing that bug me is that when teacher leave to get water I see hearie students start to laugh. Grant they are young, and who knows why they at class, but it bug me for Deaf community that they laugh that expressive teacher, with sense of humour, is funny and maybe I see, "Joke?" It really bug me and I want to stand up and sign to class about what a bunch of fucking losers they are and how ignorant they are but choose not to. <sorry for bad language>

Should I have? I could have made PFH proud.

ETA: I'm sorry for lack of proper English grammar. When I'm upset or happy I have trouble with little words.

What a great class -- your teacher seems wonderful!

Just want to add one possibility, as I've had some amazing teachers, always deaf, and always with so much passion for the language! I've laughed with other students during breaks in early classes, and it wasn't at all at the teacher or the language, but at myself, in shared embarrassment, relief that we have a break from being watched as we fumble. Sometimes hearing can feel lost in the early classes, we expect that we look like bumbling idiots to someone so graceful and are painfully aware of our own awkwardness (and mistakes). Think how many hearing ASL students try to say they are really hungry and find themselves instead letting the whole room know they just want to get it on ?

You know how often people laugh when nervous? If you do it in a group like that, it can ease anxiety.

 

[rebeccalj]

What a great class -- your teacher seems wonderful!

Just want to add one possibility, as I've had some amazing teachers, always deaf, and always with so much passion for the language! I've laughed with other students during breaks in early classes, and it wasn't at all at the teacher or the language, but at myself, in shared embarrassment, relief that we have a break from being watched as we fumble. Sometimes hearing can feel lost in the early classes, we expect that we look like bumbling idiots to someone so graceful and are painfully aware of our own awkwardness (and mistakes). Think how many hearing ASL students try to say they are really hungry and find themselves instead letting the whole room know they just want to get it on ?

You know how often people laugh when nervous? If you do it in a group like that, it can ease anxiety.

I hadn't thought about it that way. I guess they could be embarrassed. I can relate since I feel like an idiot on regular basis when I don't understand what hearies saying.

 

[Megan8987]

I hadn't thought about it that way. I guess they could be embarrassed. I can relate since I feel like an idiot on regular basis when I don't understand what hearies saying.

Another way of looking at it is, if the students wanted to be disrespectful or it was nothing but a joke for them, I'd hardly think they would of waited for the professor to leave. Just a thought

 

[rebeccalj]

Another way of looking at it is, if the students wanted to be disrespectful or it was nothing but a joke for them, I'd hardly think they would of waited for the professor to leave. Just a thought

Or, maybe it is more easy to be disrespectful behind someone's back instead of to face?

Like I say, all but two of us in class are young, young students. From hearie perspective I can imagine how daunting it would be and I watch student after student walk into class asking if right room, using voice to ask question that teacher doesn't understand. I find it funny, to myself, that they come to ASL class and speak using voice and English but, of course, this is why they are at class. Adjustment for them to live in deafie world when used to sound all the time.

 

[LoveBlue]

Yes, our (hearies) brains are "wired" to open mouth (but hopefully not put in foot ) and speak. It will take some time for me to "shut my mouth".
At my class last week, I needed, really needed, to ask the teacher where the bathroom was. Since we haven't learned how to sign bathroom, I mouthed it (and probably in a whisper) slowly. When I got back, she taught the class "break" and then proceeded to show everyone where the bathrooms and snack rooms were.

 

[Megan8987]

Or, maybe it is more easy to be disrespectful behind someone's back instead of to face?

Like I say, all but two of us in class are young, young students. From hearie perspective I can imagine how daunting it would be and I watch student after student walk into class asking if right room, using voice to ask question that teacher doesn't understand. I find it funny, to myself, that they come to ASL class and speak using voice and English but, of course, this is why they are at class. Adjustment for them to live in deafie world when used to sound all the time.

Maybe! As for me, I'm a 23yr old Hearie so I can kind of relate to that deer in headlight look But I'm sure as they learn to sign more and become more comfortable in their signing ability and learn to not talk while signing...then maybe they'll ease up. You'll have to let us know! But congrats on having the opportunities to re-learn ASL!

 

[rebeccalj]

Yes, our (hearies) brains are "wired" to open mouth (but hopefully not put in foot ) and speak. It will take some time for me to "shut my mouth".
At my class last week, I needed, really needed, to ask the teacher where the bathroom was. Since we haven't learned how to sign bathroom, I mouthed it (and probably in a whisper) slowly. When I got back, she taught the class "break" and then proceeded to show everyone where the bathrooms and snack rooms were.

I imagine. Deaf teacher tell us right away about what break mean and where bathroom is by doing funny mimic? of almost wetting pants then points out the door and in the direction of the bathroom. We all understood.

She also show "time out" sign so that if we don't understand what she teach we can stop her with "time out."

 

[rebeccalj]

Maybe! As for me, I'm a 23yr old Hearie so I can kind of relate to that deer in headlight look But I'm sure as they learn to sign more and become more comfortable in their signing ability and learn to not talk while signing...then maybe they'll ease up. You'll have to let us know! But congrats on having the opportunities to re-learn ASL!

I notice big adjustment for hearie students is they feel embarrassed for, how do you say, doing mimic? and touching strangers to get noticed. I think, with time, this will ease as they learn to shift to deafie world of communication.

Deaf teacher was really clever with teaching how to gain attention of Deaf person. We play a game where we toss a teddy bear to another person. We have to use waving and facial expression for "wh" question and I start to see how quickly people pay attention with visual. Then teacher add a second item to toss. It make students *really* pay attention to surroundings or be hit with teddy bear.

For myself, I feel like first time in classroom where I am not at disadvantage and it felt a-m-a-z-i-n-g!!

 

[Juli-terp-to-be]

Hearies are taught from a young age no to touch another they don't know. Also, IMO, the concept of personal space is not used as much with the deaf. Which freaks hearies out.

In my first formal ASL class, I remember the one student struggling with the WH? and Y/N facial expressions. On a snack break she said she felt strange making faces at the others. I told her it's like the vocal inflection we, as hearies take for granted. If the face is blank or showing little, it's like a person sounding deadpan or bland. She understood and did better after that.

 

[rebeccalj]

Hearies are taught from a young age no to touch another they don't know. Also, IMO, the concept of personal space is not used as much with the deaf. Which freaks hearies out.

In my first formal ASL class, I remember the one student struggling with the WH? and Y/N facial expressions. On a snack break she said she felt strange making faces at the others. I told her it's like the vocal inflection we, as hearies take for granted. If the face is blank or showing little, it's like a person sounding deadpan or bland. She understood and did better after that.

Exactly! I see the same struggle with the same "wh"? and Y/N expressions. Teacher give good example of the difference between bland face and expressive face and why important to have expression in face.

 

[jillio]

I am so happy to hear that you have found a place where you feel so much at home and as if you are supposed to be there. That is a wonderful feeling. I have no doubt that this will be a great journey for you.

 

[rebeccalj]

I am so happy to hear that you have found a place where you feel so much at home and as if you are supposed to be there. That is a wonderful feeling. I have no doubt that this will be a great journey for you.

It really is journey. Journey from being embarrassed, for many years, to be Deaf. To be different. To try to fit in with hearie world but always know I'm not hearie.

For years, I avoid my culture, my language, but this is manifest from anger toward parents for forcing me to not be different. Forcing me to be like hearie kids. Don't want to know deafie kids because don't want to be seen as different. Don't want to disappoint parents. Does that make sense?

Over the last few years, especially my Mum pass away, I no longer care what people think. Be myself. Embrace my language and my culture. Embrace uniqueness. Different? Yes, but also have skills that hearies don't *because* I'm Deaf. Thankful for that now.

Meet Deaf people, hard to communicate because I don't remember certain sign expressions. Frustrating. Don't know what world I belong in or which community but pull is to Deaf community. Now that I am re-learning my language I feel empowered.

It's funny because, last night, when driving home, feel *SO* alive and can conquer the world. Want to become Deaf advocate. I think this is normal rush of finally feeling like the journey that you are on is one toward full communication in your native language and not one forced on you for years and years. Hard to explain.

 

[SneakerNet]

I'm glad to hear that. You know what is nice though that teacher are often busy with his/her tought of what need to be taught and having you there in the classroom as being experiences deaf cultural backer. It's like you are the addition to deaf exposure to hearing people. You know, teacher teach language while you teach deaf culture.

You know when I was faculty at RIT/NTID, at RIT, I taught CAD application using law of Physic, I was the youngest person ever became a faculty teaching in this class and during the first day of classes there was many hearing students and about 4 deaf student in the class along with interpreter. I requested an interpreter for two reasons.... one it make it easier for me to talk while I'm writing on the white board or operating on CAD system. Second reason, I can watch the interpreter who ever talk behind my back..yep..the terp will tell me everything because I asked her to do so. I busted them but in a calm manner, try to explain to them of who I am and why "I talk" funny. Later, they understand about my deaf culture. The more they learn about me... they will respect me. It's like I'm teaching CAD and Deaf culture.

 

[Speedy Hawk]

Sounds you having great time and enjoying yourself. Your teacher sounds really good. Good luck for rest of ASL classes you get.

 

[rebeccalj]

I'm glad to hear that. You know what is nice though that teacher are often busy with his/her tought of what need to be taught and having you there in the classroom as being experiences deaf cultural backer. It's like you are the addition to deaf exposure to hearing people. You know, teacher teach language while you teach deaf culture.

You know when I was faculty at RIT/NTID, at RIT, I taught CAD application using law of Physic, I was the youngest person ever became a faculty teaching in this class and during the first day of classes there was many hearing students and about 4 deaf student in the class along with interpreter. I requested an interpreter for two reasons.... one it make it easier for me to talk while I'm writing on the white board or operating on CAD system. Second reason, I can watch the interpreter who ever talk behind my back..yep..the terp will tell me everything because I asked her to do so. I busted them but in a calm manner, try to explain to them of who I am and why "I talk" funny. Later, they understand about my deaf culture. The more they learn about me... they will respect me. It's like I'm teaching CAD and Deaf culture.

I agree. Being support for teacher, to help explain more about culture, will be a help for sure.

 

[rebeccalj]

Sounds you having great time and enjoying yourself. Your teacher sounds really good. Good luck for rest of ASL classes you get.

She is incredible teacher! I guess I have, maybe preconceived thoughts about how a Deaf teacher could teach hearies but she was a better teacher than I ever had in a hearie teacher.

I can't wait for class tomorrow night.

 

[jillio]

It really is journey. Journey from being embarrassed, for many years, to be Deaf. To be different. To try to fit in with hearie world but always know I'm not hearie.

For years, I avoid my culture, my language, but this is manifest from anger toward parents for forcing me to not be different. Forcing me to be like hearie kids. Don't want to know deafie kids because don't want to be seen as different. Don't want to disappoint parents. Does that make sense?

Over the last few years, especially my Mum pass away, I no longer care what people think. Be myself. Embrace my language and my culture. Embrace uniqueness. Different? Yes, but also have skills that hearies don't *because* I'm Deaf. Thankful for that now.

Meet Deaf people, hard to communicate because I don't remember certain sign expressions. Frustrating. Don't know what world I belong in or which community but pull is to Deaf community. Now that I am re-learning my language I feel empowered.

It's funny because, last night, when driving home, feel *SO* alive and can conquer the world. Want to become Deaf advocate. I think this is normal rush of finally feeling like the journey that you are on is one toward full communication in your native language and not one forced on you for years and years. Hard to explain.

You have found your true self at last. The road from here on out will be so much smoother. Congratulations.

 

[Speedy Hawk]

She is incredible teacher! I guess I have, maybe preconceived thoughts about how a Deaf teacher could teach hearies but she was a better teacher than I ever had in a hearie teacher.

I can't wait for class tomorrow night.

That great! I always find Deaf teachers are best than hearing teachers cos understanding is easier (clearer signs and more patient) and also Deaf teachers FORCE hearing people to understand and not to fall back on voice too much and they take longer to learn to sign as some hearing teacher does (some, not all).

 

[rebeccalj]

You have found your true self at last. The road from here on out will be so much smoother. Congratulations.

Jillio. I *DO* feel like being on road to being me. My English horrible here. In work life pretty perfect. Have to be. Here I type what I think. Not worry, like Alex wrote, about grammar.

I want to thank you *SO* much! I learn so many things from you even if I can't reply with the right words. I understand the English but not how to reply. But I do read what you write.