Faking conversations?!

Militaryguy

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Have any of you faked a conversation and acted liked you heard what was going on because you felt embarrassed that you could not hear what was going on in what was talking about? This happened to me tonight and I got caught because no one was talking loud enough and I got made fun of because of it. I feel like I am always being left out because I always have to as what or huh about a million times before someone actually talks loud enough for me to know what is going on. I'd enjoy some feed back on this issue, thanks all!
 
Have any of you faked a conversation and acted liked you heard what was going on because you felt embarrassed that you could not hear what was going on in what was talking about? This happened to me tonight and I got caught because no one was talking loud enough and I got made fun of because of it. I feel like I am always being left out because I always have to as what or huh about a million times before someone actually talks loud enough for me to know what is going on. I'd enjoy some feed back on this issue, thanks all!

Yeah, it's called "bluffing." If you were raised oral deaf, like me, you bluff a lot, but the school program tries to make sure you don't do it. But how else do you get along in the hearing world? One either bluffs or constantly tells people around them that they are HOH or deaf. (I usually tell people I'm hard of hearing, since that seems to go over better than telling them I'm deaf.)

I just point to my ear and say, "Sorry, I didn't catch that, I'm hard of hearing. Could you say that again?"

That really sucks that people are making fun of you for it. I generally don't put up with that and I walk away, unless it's a work environment and I have to work with these people. I suppose these are other military people?

Even though I bluffed a lot growing up, more recently, I've been bolder in being up front and telling people that I am hard of hearing. Often people will weird out about it, but I find it sorts out the good from the bad pretty quickly. You'll find out who will work with you, and who won't. The ones who won't aren't mature enough anyway, and who wants to work with them, right?

Good luck, it isn't fun, I know.
 
The situation tonight is where they are all talking about something and then ask me what I think, and of course I look lost because most of them are facing away from me and I can't directly hear them talk. I said a general response like usually do in situations, but I got caught because they were asking me something not related to what was being talked about. One person had the audacity to say are you dumb or something or just not paying attention. I told him I couldn't hear what was being talked about and he responded "how come?" even though I have told him many times I cannot hear that well. Then I was blown off by the rest of the group because they all think I am faking and trying to seclude myself from the group. I am leaving this place in a few days and I do not care what they think but I am scheduled to see my doctor when I get back to see if they can do anything for me. That is the only reason why I did not raise hell tonight at dinner, I do not want to be hear any longer. (for those that read this and wonder where I am at, I am finishing a 6 month deployment in Africa)
 
Is the above situation is what happens when one bluffs?
Would a better way- be "assertive" up front- I didn't "hear that"?
Advice given by Canadian Hearing Society/Toronto in their Dealing/Coping with your Hearing Loss course.
 
I do that almost every time some random stranger talks with me in some random place. Like one time I was walking around in a park and I sat down to look at the gorgeous mountain view. I made the mistake of looking to my left and some guy started :blah: mumbling about whatever. I just said "uh huh uh uh yeah.. interesting" then I said I gotta run now...

You might think why don't I just explain that I'm deaf and yada yada the problem is that if I do that then 95% of them start treating me like a "special" person and talk really slow and it's even worse. And sometimes I just don't feel like talking so whatever. :roll:
 
Makes me wonder what kind of sandwich one would end up with after going down the lineup of selections at Sub-Way. lol
 
I've ordered from Subway like that often. I get what I asked for. Yes, they have to repeat themselves to me. Yes, they don't like to do that. Tough, I've got the money and they want to get paid.
 
If it's something I need to provide input on, I interrupt them as early as possible just so they don't have to go back as far.

Oddly enough, the people I get by with "OK" and "yeah" most aren't really the one's I want to listen to anyway as they are the ones talking to hear themselves talk.
 
Once or twice when out to dinner with several friends, I've told them that I might "zone out" during conversations. Sometimes it's hard to follow conversations between several people, especially in a restaurant and I'll just stop trying to hear everything that's being said.
 
Once or twice when out to dinner with several friends, I've told them that I might "zone out" during conversations. Sometimes it's hard to follow conversations between several people, especially in a restaurant and I'll just stop trying to hear everything that's being said.

Yeah, I zone out a lot too during group conversations. I was at my grandmother's 95th birthday recently, and it was a group of 11 people, including me. The conversations and cross-talk come fast and furious in that setting and I cannot follow a thing. At best, I listen to someone sitting close to me and pick up some of his or her words.

But it doesn't tell me everything and even listening to that one person, I lose track of the conversation. And I'm still not hearing everyone else answer that person.

A few times one or two people might talk to me directly, like my sister. She knows how to talk so I understand her better. She's basically telling me that's so-and-so said this. The conversation at the table stops while she's telling me this. That's the reality of being hoh/deaf at a table of hearies.

It's so easy to zone out in these settings. I just try to make sure I eat my food slowly, so it lasts until it's time to go. Otherwise I have an empty plate to stare at for the next 45-60 minutes. ;)
 
Wirelessly posted

Yeah, bluff everytime in a conversation. It's all a guessing game. I hate it. It's much better going voice-off because it is obvious you're Deaf, no need to explain things and you are not missing out on conversation because it commands everything to be visual. Before I finally made the decision to go voice-off, one example of what it was/is like: I was out for dinner with my husband and we were meeting with some diplomats from other countries. Everything was going ok at first because we were sitting at the table and I was facing the guests. Then, it started to turn dark (we were outside, btw the setting was chosen by another diplomat), they had a band playing, the restaurant became crowded. It was like I was transported into another world, in a bubble looking on but unable to hear anything. I was completely lost. No amount of bluffing could get me out of that one, so all I did for the rest of the evening was smile. This is not a one-off incidence, this is my story day in and day out. I know this is also a common experience to all us Deafies.
 
I hear words in a conversation spottily, a word here and there enough to make sense of heir discussion. I don't advise to pull off the faking deal with the opposite sex though. LOL
 
I have "faked" conversations before, but not because I was embarrassed. I just didn't care what they were saying, so do the uh huh, yeah uh huh nod smile. Uh oh they stopped and are looking at me, they asked a question crap.......
 
I've ordered from Subway like that often. I get what I asked for. Yes, they have to repeat themselves to me. Yes, they don't like to do that. Tough, I've got the money and they want to get paid.

I eat at Subway almost every weekday and I have a little notebook that I write my orders down on. I just hand it to them. I go to the same one all the time so the people there know I'm deaf. I go to the Booster Juice next door and they have my order memorized (sad, I know).

As for bluffing..I do it all the time. I don't do it with my family or boyfriend but with other people I do it a lot. At work I've asked for email contact only if you have instructions to give me, otherwise I'll screw it up and just put everyone behind. I've been caught before too and made fun of. It's definitely not fun.
 
I have "faked" conversations before, but not because I was embarrassed. I just didn't care what they were saying, so do the uh huh, yeah uh huh nod smile. Uh oh they stopped and are looking at me, they asked a question crap.......

been there too alot....and its awkward...

hell its worse than faking an orgasm!! (no im male, but females are known to fake it)..faking conversation is worse cuz you're NOT getting LAID...

afterall conversations is all about making a move to get laid, its like you'd pass phase 1, then at phase 4 its a fail....phase 2 is hook up, phase 3 is foreplay...
 
I try to only ask them to repeat something once. After that they get mad.

Funny, after reading some of these post, I feel better :)
 
I always fake conovos sometimes if I really care about the Convo I ask for a repeat but if it's not important I just laugh and nod hahaha last week my friend was whistling and then says "Mariah carey" I was like who's hairy?! Hahahaha and then a few weeks ago I thought my coworker called his customer a blue smurf :/
 
I eat at Subway almost every weekday and I have a little notebook that I write my orders down on. I just hand it to them. I go to the same one all the time so the people there know I'm deaf. I go to the Booster Juice next door and they have my order memorized (sad, I know).

As for bluffing..I do it all the time. I don't do it with my family or boyfriend but with other people I do it a lot. At work I've asked for email contact only if you have instructions to give me, otherwise I'll screw it up and just put everyone behind. I've been caught before too and made fun of. It's definitely not fun.

That's a great idea, to write down your order. I personally don't think it's sad that the other place has your order memorized, this happens with normal hearing people as well. It just shows that you are a satisfied customer for coming back again and again.

I don't think it was the right words to use when you said you got "caught". It's tough for many of us to catch every word that this spoken by another person. I'm constantly filling in the blanks when others are speaking. Some situations require more blanks to fill in. Getting "caught" for being deaf just doesn't sit well in my mind. If your co-workers or boss are purposefully trying to "catch" you not hearing something, this could be considered a form of harassment and discrimination.

I really feel for you and your work situation. :)
 
I always fake conovos sometimes if I really care about the Convo I ask for a repeat but if it's not important I just laugh and nod hahaha last week my friend was whistling and then says "Mariah carey" I was like who's hairy?! Hahahaha and then a few weeks ago I thought my coworker called his customer a blue smurf :/

:lol: I confuse words also, kind of like being a stand up comedian without trying! Last night I mistakenly repeated a friend's words to mean "I'm gonna turn up the volume",when I thought I heard "I'm gonna bomb out the bathroom!" LOL
 
My best was talking to a friend about a hearing screen and the response was "why would I want to listen to a herring scream?"
 
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