Dumbfounding how self centered some people are.

Chris87

Member
I am sure this has been brought up before but I just need to vent and find a solution. Others know that if I can’t see your lips I won't hear what you are saying. I have a hearing person in my life who knows this and lied to my face saying I told you three times I needed bla bla bla. I can understand ignorance and I am patient with them. Myself being HoH and for someone to use that against me just really peeves me off. Sadly this individual has done it twice to me so far.

I know I’ll be running into it again at other jobs and with different people. Anyone have suggestions on dealing with the feelings: disappointment, anger and not judging them when I see how selfish and self centered they are. Any suggestions on handling that situation if/when it arises? The only idea I have is making the person write it down. If it wasn't written down then you didn't tell me. I feel like I’m being an a$$ if I go to that extent, and I don’t want to be that way.
 

VacationGuy234

Active Member
If the person is not in your group or you don't directly work with them, don't talk to them anymore. If the person is in your group, inform your manager about it(and then possibly HR). If the person is your manager, think about changing jobs, but don't until you have another one lined up.

Always treat co-works as co-workers, they are NOT your friends. Don't engage in friendly conversation with those people at all.
 

whatdidyousay!

Well-Known Member
You could walk up to the person with a roll of toilet paper and say " I got you what you needed." Then say ," I DID NOT see your face and it sounded like you wanted TP . " That might get the person to face you the next time.
 

goodonya

Well-Known Member
I remember once I went out as a temporary hire on a new powerhouse project. My assigned foreman not only did not talk loud, he wore a beard, and had a way of turning his head away when speaking. I never did know what he said... smiles... I was there for two weeks and put in a bunch of lights, wired all the garage door systems, and did all the associated piping and wiring and was deep into all the column receptacles when I was done with my time limited job assignment. We shook hands and I left with a nice paycheck I never did know what he said. I knew his name was Chuck because I went to apprenticeship school with him. I would say hi Chuck and then feed him a noun now and then and watch his body language and then go to the blueprints.

If that had not worked I would have made sure somehow. If communication is not happening it is important to find a way to make it happen. The old I told you and you did not hear quickly gets to be bs if it is the same person all the time. Find a way, confront the situation, not in anger but in determination. Show that you are fully willing to problem solve the situation every time. Either the two of you will find a way or the person will find a way to move you to another person. Usually people figure a way if there is enough money or caring in it.

These new phones have some great function. You can hand the phone off and they can talk into it and what they said is on the screen for your reading pleasure.
 

ohmylight

New Member
My last job when I was not self employed I got the whole office using an app made for Mac to create to do lists. Some people kept it open on their desktop, others loaded it on iPhone. It worked perfectly to solve the problem and I was innovative in suggesting something to help other people in the studio as well.
 

Saavik

Active Member
I get this all the time and it was part of the reason why I dropped my Sociology class (Teacher had a really thick beard). I'm not lip reading expert, but it does help me, especially since until really recently, I didn't have any hearing aids and even with hearing aids I don't always hear everything.

People I deal with know I have hearing problems, yet don't try to alter their communication around that and talk low or from behind, things like that, so if they don't want to work with me on making sure I can get what they're saying and I don't hear it, I don't care, their loss.
 

BecLak

Well-Known Member
I always have a small notebook and pen handy in the front pocket of my bag or on the kitchen counter, table,desk...wherever I frequent to interact with hearing family, friends or shop assistants. Going oral with them always gets you stuck at the wrong end of the yardstick in frustration because you don't catch everything that was said. Stop the guessing game by getting them to write it down. if you have the notebook and pen ready for them, people 95 percent of the time will comply without complaint. With the rare few that don't - they are not worth the effort to communicate with anyway. Having been oral for most of my life, I have found that once I open my mouth, all accommodations fly out the window. When voice off and using S.T.E.P. People are more than happy to accommodate you and both parties end up satisfied.
 

Mewtilation

New Member
Punch them.... in the face..... really hard..... That's what I imagine every time! I always think about my life like Alley McBeal if anyone remembers seeing that. I always picture the most terrible things when people are talking to me and pi**ing me off.... and then I snap back to reality and realize they weren't really hit by a train rolling through the lobby as I imagined.... :laugh2: Seriously though, some people.... just need to be high fived.... in the face.... with a chair.... :D
 

femme Fatale

Official AD Nutcracker
Hmmm... contemplating on whether to bring back this little bit I put aside...

Hint Hint
nutcracker3.jpg
 

Darkhusky

New Member
Several weeks ago, I had an examination, and the invigilator was supposed to hold up flash cards corresponding to the verbally-issued instructions (I am bilateral profound and currently mainstreamed). He actually asked me several times verbally if I could hear him and if I was following the procedure. Another girl actually had to shout at him that I could not hear him no matter how many times he shouted; only then did he comply. I don't particularly care about such incidents, because where I am, the staff and students in my school are so accommodating of my deafness that anyone who knows of it but does not accommodate is essentially simply embarrassing themselves and not me.
 

Chris87

Member
Having been oral for most of my life, I have found that once I open my mouth, all accommodations fly out the window. When voice off and using S.T.E.P. People are more than happy to accommodate you and both parties end up satisfied.

S.T.E.P. - More and more I’ve been going in that direction. Looks like I will need to go there more often.

There have been many good comments, Thank you everyone!! Yes, it is a co-worker. I hope not for long, I have updated my resume and back to doing applications.
 

ohmylight

New Member
S.T.E.P. - More and more I’ve been going in that direction. Looks like I will need to go there more often.

There have been many good comments, Thank you everyone!! Yes, it is a co-worker. I hope not for long, I have updated my resume and back to doing applications.

Good luck!
 

Saavik

Active Member
Since I had to turn my hearing aids back in because they didn't quite fit and I'm waiting on my new ones (Which are BTE rather than the last ones, which were half shells) I went to work this weekend and couldn't hear anyone really and the entire day people coming in were getting mad at me, only one person understood it was because I could't hear well and was accomodating.

I miss my hearing aids, but I have to hold on until the 18th for my new ones. One thing I don't miss is how it aids me in hering people's BS, that got irritating fast. I asked for my new low level setting to basically be a mute button of sorts.
 
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