Do those of you who are HH or with a CI have tricks to understanding the world?

[NYNY]

Here's an example of what I used to do to decipher what's said in conversation when I had naturally bad hearing (no CI at that time, just HAs). Of course, this goes without saying I read lips.

1. Counted the number of syllables.
2. Detected intonation.
3. Read body language, which is where most communications is derived. That's normal for all of us whether aware or unaware.
4. Captured cadence.
4. Had extreme focus on the person talking.

All of this left me beyond tired after putting in very long days. My extreme focus lead to issues. I suppose an analogy would be comparing my focus to a border collie's and I know that may not make sense to some of you. But the dog's focus was so intense that we opted not to get a border collie.

With the CI:
1. I was told recently I'm often wrong counting the number of syllables.
2. Some changes in intonation are still detectable but it doesn't help.
3. Body language still comes in handy and I don't think I'm interpreting it as well prior to reaching profound deafness.
4. I'm moving out of being the extrovert I had been and that's probably the toughest part of this. My extreme loss began about six years ago when I went from some moderate loss to mostly severe and hit profound quickly.

Since I lost my ability to do what got me through life and a career, I'm looking for other "tools" but I haven't found anything useful. While no one can take the extrovert out of me, I'm going inward and finding other outlets, I suppose.

Thanks.

 

[DeafDucky]

Hmm for me...

1. I do lip read but that skill really sucks donkey balls for me-- My vision impairment is part of the reason.
2. I do the 'intensity thing' watching face/lips etc.
3. Rely on body language/gestures/facial expressions etc
4. Intonation helps... a little but not very much
5. Most times things are better for me if I either know beforehand what the conversation is going to be about (like work meetings) or if I can somehow steer the conversation myself (rare since I am a giant introvert). I also try to find ways to keep questions to ones where I can get short answers or yes/no type answers.
6. I try to listen for words that I know I can hear- instead of trying to listen to the ENTIRE conversation or whatever the person is saying I try to or hope to pick important words that will give me a clue as to what the hell they are talking about.

Counting syllables I have no idea of considering many times either the speech patterns may vary from person to person (accents or regional speech patterns- fast or slow) or I am completely mishearing whatever the actual word is lol.

Cadence-- Guess this goes along with intonation. With some people I can detect if they are asking a question or their mood or something. (the whole if it's a question there's a slight change at the end- up/down in volume) though I think I'm losing that ability.

It's a lot of work and really I try everything to try to keep up but many times I wind up zoning- mainly in group settings when there is more than one conversations going at the same time and I either am trying to focus on one (near impossible) or just trying to take it all in (forget about it- too much mix/noise).

Disclosure- hearing aids user for... well a LOT of years- since I was 2.

Definitely know what it is like to be worn out at the end of the day so I tend to be a loner (more so when i was working and would be if I do get back to work). I don't have any other suggestions for you other than if you do work- have a giant white board- I found mine came in handy- managed to 'train' many to actually write on it if I didn't understand a word or something lol.

 

[whatdidyousay!]

I have trouble over the phone so this would not help me at all , I just tell the person to use a difference word and not to yell the word at me. If I am talking to person I just will ask them to repeat the word , I see no need to made a job out of having a conversation .

 

[NYNY]

Hmm for me...

1. I do lip read but that skill really sucks donkey balls for me-- My vision impairment is part of the reason.
2. I do the 'intensity thing' watching face/lips etc.
3. Rely on body language/gestures/facial expressions etc
4. Intonation helps... a little but not very much
5. Most times things are better for me if I either know beforehand what the conversation is going to be about (like work meetings) or if I can somehow steer the conversation myself (rare since I am a giant introvert). I also try to find ways to keep questions to ones where I can get short answers or yes/no type answers.
6. I try to listen for words that I know I can hear- instead of trying to listen to the ENTIRE conversation or whatever the person is saying I try to or hope to pick important words that will give me a clue as to what the hell they are talking about.

Counting syllables I have no idea of considering many times either the speech patterns may vary from person to person (accents or regional speech patterns- fast or slow) or I am completely mishearing whatever the actual word is lol.

Cadence-- Guess this goes along with intonation. With some people I can detect if they are asking a question or their mood or something. (the whole if it's a question there's a slight change at the end- up/down in volume) though I think I'm losing that ability.

It's a lot of work and really I try everything to try to keep up but many times I wind up zoning- mainly in group settings when there is more than one conversations going at the same time and I either am trying to focus on one (near impossible) or just trying to take it all in (forget about it- too much mix/noise).

Disclosure- hearing aids user for... well a LOT of years- since I was 2.

Definitely know what it is like to be worn out at the end of the day so I tend to be a loner (more so when i was working and would be if I do get back to work). I don't have any other suggestions for you other than if you do work- have a giant white board- I found mine came in handy- managed to 'train' many to actually write on it if I didn't understand a word or something lol.

Thanks, DeafDucky:
First, where are you in NC? Can you say?

Love your first response. It seems like a really unique and hysterical statement. I'm sorry your vision gets in the way of lipreading.

You're younger than I am since you got a HA at the age of 2. I got mine @9 or 10 years old.

The white board sounds like a great idea if I still worked but I left the corporate nightmare five years ago. I've been carrying around scraps of paper or small notebooks. There are times, like if I'm grocery shopping, where I'll say something (along with automatic signing) and more often than not, they'll come back with something albeit minor in sign.

You also said something really critical and that was (hopefully I have the essence correct) you wait for words that pop out and then try to piece the conversation together. After the CI was done, I stopped even trying to understand people.

There are some computer geeks here (and/or gadget geeks). When I had some hearing, I asked an ex-IBMer if there was an application that worked well for speech recognition. I know IBM was working on it back around 1990 and thought by now, it would be fully functional. There was nothing like that.

I wondered about cadence and intonation but believe they're a bit separate. Cadence for moi is about rhythm and flow. Intonation is about just what you stated. I could catch both with a severe loss and an analog aid. But you also said something really important and this one, I'm going to quote, "I am completely mishearing whatever the actual word is lol." I'm known for having arguments with my spouse because how do I know what was really said? It could be one word that I missed. That doesn't happen much now.

Counting syllables was exhausting (well, the entire bit was) and I did it for I don't know how many years. It helped a lot. I can't do that with the implant.

With all this garbage happening day-in and day-out, I was still an extrovert but a very tired one. When I worked, I had to be an extrovert or I would have had to find another career.

Yeah, I get heads up when we're going out (who's going, where are we going, and what's the latest news of the people). I did that when I went to see musicals or plays on or off Broadway in NYC. Had to or the ticket price was wasted. Though I did go to a Bob Dylan concert locally and not being able to hear allowed his voice to be better (not sound better) .

Many thanks.

 

[AlleyCat]

This is the first I've heard of counting syllables. Is this common? I've never done this all my life; I'm 44 and deaf since birth. How does the counting help you? I've always just relied on the lip reading and body language.

 

[HOH-ME]

I just listen with my CI? Maybe do some more rehab on Angel Sounds or any of the other free programs to increase your understanding?

 

[NYNY]

I have trouble over the phone so this would not help me at all , I just tell the person to use a difference word and not to yell the word at me. If I am talking to person I just will ask them to repeat the word , I see no need to made a job out of having a conversation .

Thank you, whatdidyousay! I do ask people to repeat but I can't ask them to keep repeating because they will get annoyed. I've also used the other trick of using a different word. But I appreciate being reminded of this.

Yeah, it would seem that having a conversation is too much work but I grew up in the hearing world and I'm an extrovert. I'm compensating to the best of my ability. We live in a small development, though, where I could take walks around the neighborhood (a walk at a reasonable pace should take 20 minutes but because we're fairly close-knit, it more typically takes 1.5 hours) and I really miss it. I go with my spouse only (in the neighborhood) and I walk our dog in the forest where I don't run into people most of the time.

 

[NYNY]

This is the first I've heard of counting syllables. Is this common? I've never done this all my life; I'm 44 and deaf since birth. How does the counting help you? I've always just relied on the lip reading and body language.

Hey, AlleyCat: I'm in a different position than you. While I was born with something wrong (the doctors thought I was slow - it was back in the 1950s), I was fitted by a family member with a HA when I was still in elementary school. Grades went up and life was much better but it didn't change the fact that I still had a hearing problem. I don't remember what an audiogram looked like with my aids on.

Counting syllables is probably not common . But I needed to function and understand as best I could in a fast-paced and intense environment. So, I developed methods to help myself. Syllable counting helped with other tricks. I worked in a field where problem-solving was required daily. I just used some of it on me.

Lip and body reading is all I can do now.

 

[NYNY]

I just listen with my CI? Maybe do some more rehab on Angel Sounds or any of the other free programs to increase your understanding?

Again, thanks HOH-ME. I'll look at Angel Sounds tomorrow. I think I went there in the past and it may not support the computer I'm using. (I just went there and can't tell. I'll get in touch with them.) My audiologist gave me about four websites to try. None of them supported Apple and I hope I will never have to go back to Windows !!!

 

[AlleyCat]

NYNY, I totally understand the need to find methods to help cope. The counting syllables was a new one for me; wasn't making fun of it, just surprised I hadn't heard of it before. Same as you now, I rely on lip reading and body language. I hear sounds with my HAs but there's no clarity, can't make out any speech.

 

[jonnyghost]

NYNY, I totally understand the need to find methods to help cope. The counting syllables was a new one for me; wasn't making fun of it, just surprised I hadn't heard of it before. Same as you now, I rely on lip reading and body language. I hear sounds with my HAs but there's no clarity, can't make out any speech.

If you don't mind me asking I'm just curious how much you can understand with lip reading? In noisy places i try lip reading alone but get lost pretty easy.

 

[Lau2046]

In quiet situations I do well but in groups and with background noise, I try to respond appropriately or stay silent so it looks like I understood....

Laura

 

[whatdidyousay!]

In quiet situations I do well but in groups and with background noise, I try to respond appropriately or stay silent so it looks like I understood....

Laura

I had some very interesting and funny things happen when I misunderstood something a person said. We both get a good laugh out of it.

 

[HOH-ME]

Again, thanks HOH-ME. I'll look at Angel Sounds tomorrow. I think I went there in the past and it may not support the computer I'm using. (I just went there and can't tell. I'll get in touch with them.) My audiologist gave me about four websites to try. None of them supported Apple and I hope I will never have to go back to Windows !!!

Advanced Bionics Clix is Apple friendly. They recently updated the program and it has more functionality. Angel Sounds has an app in the Apple Store to use on an Iphone or Ipad.

 

[AlleyCat]

If you don't mind me asking I'm just curious how much you can understand with lip reading? In noisy places i try lip reading alone but get lost pretty easy.

I actually do well with lip reading. Sounds I get from my HAs helps more, so it works well at work or home where it is generally quiet. But in a noisy setting like a bar it is much harder.

 

[jonnyghost]

In quiet situations I do well but in groups and with background noise, I try to respond appropriately or stay silent so it looks like I understood....

Laura

Ahh the good old smile and nod. Effective but terribly boring.

 

[jonnyghost]

I'm very interested in this thread. My audiologist gave me a piece of paper that read "Strategies for listening" and it had on it a list. "Sit in a quiet room with good acustics and your back to a wall. Talk to one person at a time and have them face you and speak clearly" etc ectetera. I was like "please sir, where is this magical land?"

 

[whatdidyousay!]

Thank you, whatdidyousay! I do ask people to repeat but I can't ask them to keep repeating because they will get annoyed. I've also used the other trick of using a different word. But I appreciate being reminded of this.

Yeah, it would seem that having a conversation is too much work but I grew up in the hearing world and I'm an extrovert. I'm compensating to the best of my ability. We live in a small development, though, where I could take walks around the neighborhood (a walk at a reasonable pace should take 20 minutes but because we're fairly close-knit, it more typically takes 1.5 hours) and I really miss it. I go with my spouse only (in the neighborhood) and I walk our dog in the forest where I don't run into people most of the time.

If a person start getting annoyed about having to repeat their self , they're not worth your time.

 

[NYNY]

Doing all my replies in one post to you all and I’m starting at the bottom responses and working my way back up.

jonnyghost and Lau2046: I’ve been in the background in many situations as I could tolerate. I don’t like not engaging. I’m also concerned that if I join
the conversation that I will sound like a dope. We both (my partner and I) choose where we go carefully. We pretty much stick with people who understand my isolating and when I do of say something that appears silly – we went to a b.day party for a friend at their house – when people wanted to talk to me, I brought them into our friends’ bedroom. Acoustics were better there and there weren’t distractions. The people who joined me thanked me for getting them out of the noisy place where they were lost. It looked goofy but the b.day woman and her partner understood what I was doing.

jonnyghost: It’s really interesting that you had to develop strategies per your audiologist. What he/she suggested helps and I said it’s something I do. I think I have my years on you of working on magical things to compensate first for my hearing loss then due to the CI. Since my career involved fairly constant problem solving (and it is my best score in luminosity.com), it was just an innate or intuitive thing for me. My guess is many of us do it maybe without being aware of it. (Off topic – your bike looks nice and I can’t imagine what it does to your back. You must have to constantly lean over. I have what will be my last motorcycle and I can sit up on it and stretch out for longer rides. I think I just got used to a certain style of bike and stuck with it.)

HOH-ME: Again, leave it to the people in this forum to tell us what is compatible and who make viable suggestions, like you. I told my audiologist that I couldn’t use any website she recommended and got nothing back from her. So, I’ll try AB Clix. The other problem is (that can’t be fixed) the mechanical sound from almost everywhere and someone said that’s not going to change because we don’t hear but rather process sound. Someone actually said that in a separate thread here and finally, various sites out there are now making that very clear. The truth on the internet is concealed to a huge degree. The truth here isn't. Thanks again.

AlleyCat: There wasn’t any negative connotation from your asking about counting syllables. Worry not, please.

whatdidyousay! : In another time and under different circumstances, “… they’re not worth your time,” would be 100% right on. (Some of our neighbors verbally attacked my partner (I rarely went and was excused for obvious reasons) about me. They made idiotic (stupid) remarks about my hearing ability/inability, so I’m ignoring two idiots.) I took a something speaking class in my first year of college. The book I used showed what happens when someone is asked to repeat once, then twice, then three times and the frustration (book and in real life) does build. So, I'm careful about having them repeat what they said more than twice - then I just give up and let it go.


* * * *
I think that covers it until my next question arrives. Y’all are great and I’m receiving the feedback I expected from this forum. I get more information here than I do from the ENT and audiologist – again, it's pretty much what I expected from you folks. Thanks for making me right about this .

 

[jonnyghost]

jonnyghost: It’s really interesting that you had to develop strategies per your audiologist. What he/she suggested helps and I said it’s something I do. I think I have my years on you of working on magical things to compensate first for my hearing loss then due to the CI. Since my career involved fairly constant problem solving (and it is my best score in luminosity.com), it was just an innate or intuitive thing for me. My guess is many of us do it maybe without being aware of it. (Off topic – your bike looks nice and I can’t imagine what it does to your back. You must have to constantly lean over. I have what will be my last motorcycle and I can sit up on it and stretch out for longer rides. I think I just got used to a certain style of bike and stuck with it.) .

I was actually laughing when i read the list he gave me. Not because these things don't work, they do but because these practices are rarely available in real world situations. Friends and family like to go to bars, restaurants and parties where there is often live music and I cannot understand anything. Hospitals and schools are not much better. And none of it helps with phones. I knew there wouldn't be any magic jellybeans when I made the appointment but I thougt there might be some help.

Thanks about the bike. Bars start off low so it's real nice to ride. Not like my cafe racer