Do people understand you?

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ExR

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Sorry for the subjective title.

Basically, do you think that most of your friends and family members understand your needs?

I'm HoH and sometimes I think that my family & friends forget. For instance, they will often use an aggressive tone when asked to repeat something. Or, they may excessively increase the loudness of their voice. I find this annoying because signs of aggression suggest that they can't be bothered, and speaking excessively loud is just rude. More often than not, all they need to do is face me and speak more clearly.

Sure, if it was someone I didn't know very well, I'd be more understanding and tolerant. However, with family and friends, it is very frustrating at times.
 
It's not a perfect world....and people do have their moods. If it happened all the time, then I can see ur frustration....even I get frustrated at times and yell....sorry to be so blunt!
 
Sorry you've had to go through this with your family and friends. People are so impatient these days. I am hearing and I hate having to ask people to repeat things for the same reason. Kindness and understanding are quickly becoming things of the past...SMH.
 
My parents never understood me. They were not involved with any of us, just there to feed us and smack us when we got out of line, none of that "heart to heart" talk. There was a lot of frustration answering my questions. I've learned to just be quiet and figure things out for myself.

Most of my hearing friends were patient and understanding, and were good at remembering to look at me while talking. None of them, however, were patient with me when there were other hearing people around.

I've learned that it is easier to be alone most of the time, and to limit my time with family, friends, and co-workers.

I am much happier being alone than feeling sad around rude people.
 
I know how you feel , this happen to me to with my family and friend that knowed me all my self. Hearing people will never understand what it like to be HOH or deaf. You will have to remind your family friend to do not yell at you when you ask them to repeat what they said. It is rude and there is no excuse for it.
 
ExR said:
Sorry for the subjective title.

Basically, do you think that most of your friends and family members understand your needs?

I'm HoH and sometimes I think that my family & friends forget. For instance, they will often use an aggressive tone when asked to repeat something. Or, they may excessively increase the loudness of their voice. I find this annoying because signs of aggression suggest that they can't be bothered, and speaking excessively loud is just rude. More often than not, all they need to do is face me and speak more clearly.

Sure, if it was someone I didn't know very well, I'd be more understanding and tolerant. However, with family and friends, it is very frustrating at times.
Click to expand...

With my family, it's quite the opposite. They understood what my levels of "adequate" hearing are and repeat what they said when I ask them to. At times, it sort of reinforces that they think before they speak. They speak very loudly so that I'm included. I am probably the most critical if they say something that most people don't understand or don't speak their ideas clearly, but certainly they aren't annoyed or upset if I ask them to repeat something if I genuinely can't understand them (i.e. if they detect "selective hearing" they give me that look).

If they ...friends or family... don't take the time to "accommodate" your needs, then don't put in the effort the reciprocate that relationship. It's not worth it. If they don't respect you, why should you respect them?

For friends and work, yes I wish they'd talk more directly (or use e-mail more "freely" i.e. not as literal). Nobody wants to use an office, just a cubicle and a hushed voice. Annoys the s*** out of me. Talk clearly, it's not like someone is going to overhear and give you 20 lashings.
 
family understanding and caring and ,,, not !! which is why i live in a different state. no attachment. anytime i was with family all attempts at communication would be over after 5 minutes or so. maybe it was because it was a big family with 7 kids and i got lost in the shuffle? i am not bitter by any means but not attached at all either. typical irish family me thinks
 
My family dont fucking understand me except for my Deaf brother.


Nothing more needs to be said.
 
My family is a weird one.

Everytime I share my Deaf experiences, they try to normalize it by saying other hearing people go through the same things. Um... Deliberately choosing to live in your parents' basement is different from being deaf.
 
yes i become frustard with family membere because i don't understand me at all,sometimes i became angry with them because their don't get it at all!
 
serena1986 said:
yes i become frustard with family membere because i don't understand me at all,sometimes i became angry with them because their don't get it at all!
Click to expand...

Reread what you have typed.....

So....it's OK for you to become angry at them....not not OK for them to become angry at you?
 
I think this topic is more about discussing personality clashes more than deafness related issues or so. Maybe you ought to see what myers-brigg type you fall in and compare that with your family if it helps understand clashes, if that is what you're trying to figure out..

There are some CODA and families with deaf children that get along like bread and butter. And then there are those who don't get along as well and the children feel like outcasts.
 
rockin'robin said:
Reread what you have typed.....

So....it's OK for you to become angry at them....not not OK for them to become angry at you?
Click to expand...

I can't really think of good examples of why the family would get mad at the deaf person ... ?
 
serena1986 said:
yes i become frustard with family membere because i don't understand me at all,sometimes i became angry with them because their don't get it at all!
Click to expand...

I really think it is hard for a person with no hearing lost to understand what it like to be deaf or HOH. I have a friend that does not get it when I tell her that I can hear her but not understand a word , and she will yell at me ! I keep telling my friend yelling does not help and it hurt my ear! My famliy did not not get it either. They had no idea how much I could or could not hear.
 
I am hearing, there are people who don't understand me at all:giggle:

 
Yes, they do understand me very easy. Sometimes I don't pronounce correctly that depends on the word what to say. If I am stuck then I have to spell a word instead.
 
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