Different from hearing world..

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coloravalanche

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When did you (deafies) feel/realized that you were "different" from hearing world when you were growing up? And how old were you?

When I was growing up until the age of 11...I never felt that I was different from hearing kids...they never treated me differently and never made fun of me...that was the reason why I didnt know the different between deaf and hearing...

At age of 11...when I left the deaf mainstreamed school in January and enrolled at Baptist private school...I was the only deaf student there...and there was the only one black hearing girl there...her name was Marie...we became fast friends...none of these kids made fun of me...

UNTIL on Valentine's Day at the school...I received Valentine cards from these kids...I opened the card...it strucked me that I was "different" from hearing world...

The card that I never forget...it says, HAHA, You are deaf and dumb..you can't hear"...

I CRIED so hard...I showed it to the teacher...He discovered who did it and told me that it was MARIE that did it! I hated her after that!

What strucked me it was odd that she made fun of me even though she was the only black girl at school...Now, I wonder if she reap what she sows..I wonder if she has a deaf child of her own..:dunno:

I would LMAO at her if she has a deaf child!!!

I never thought that I was any different from the hearing kids until on Valentine's Day at age 11...

Please fireaway and share about your experienced when you felt different from hearing world when you were growing up...
 

Malfoyish

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:hug: coloravalanche, sorry to hear that you went through this. I did as well - junior high was around the time I was 11-12 - the kids were mad cruel to me as well. :(

I think that ALL deaf folks know somewhat that they're really never going to be a part of the hearing community. I guess it's different for late-deafened people, but for those who were born deaf, it would be hard to relate to the hearing community as to how much we've missed out on. As people, as individuals with rights, we ARE all equal, but part of the problem is that barriers are created, whether intentionally or not, and our limitations will eventually become more clear. :dunno:
 

Oceanbreeze

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Mafly is right. I'm hearing, and I've alway been, but I'm also physically disabled. I also have a able-bodied sister. When we were little, I never really knew a "difference" in us. It really didn't dawn on me until I was eight years old that I was different from anybody else. I had been mainstreamed in school by then, and I was being bussed to my regular neighborhood school.

THIS was eye opening for me. All of a sudden, I was the ONLY wheelchair bound child in the school. Kids didn't know how to react around me. Some of them talked to me and seemed nice; while others were just plain cruel. I ended up being teased on a regular basis, and I came home crying more times than I can count. One particular incident sticks with me to this day.

We were all in class doing our assignments. I happened to drop my pencil. I bent over to pick it up, and a kid saw me. Later on, this kid and friends of hers formed a circle around me at recess. They wanted to see me stand up. Now, I don't want to state the obvious here, but I CAN'T stand up. I never COULD stand up, and I never WILL be able to stand up. But, this kid wanted to see me stand. When I was asked to do so, I became confused and said "I can't". They became persistent, and I was eventually knocked out of my wheelchair due to them pushing and pulling at me ...All I remember was hearing the taunting of those kids and feeling SO helpless, because, I couldn't do as they asked.

I think bullies tend to pick on those who they deem "different" from them. They do it out of fear. Of course, being an adult now, I can easiely say this. It's not so easy to understand when you're an eight yr old who's entire world changes when she realizes cruelty exists.
 

LinuxGold

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I became aware of my difference when I entered rehabiliation center, comparing myself to others with physical or obvious handicap, we had electronic boxes on our body, attached on a vest (Back in 1970's) when I was around 7 years old. When I got out of rehabiliation center, out into the public community, then that is where I started to realize the difference. The former principal of that rehabiliation center got another job in public school and pulled deaf children out of rehab center and transferred to public school and established a class for deaf student where they can be distributed amongst the norms (hearies) in accordance to individual's intelligence.
 

highlands

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Malfoyish said:
...
I guess it's different for late-deafened people, but for those who were born deaf, it would be hard to relate to the hearing community as to how much we've missed out on...

It's not very different for late deafened people.. I'm hard of hearing and have so much difficulty in understanding speech even though I wear a HA.. so I cannot take part in hearing world.. I live in heavy isolation.. and many hearing people try to make fun of my difficulty... they :gossip: and :lol: me sometimes so I often get frustrated and upset and cry a lot at times... it's really hard... I cannot have a 'regular' life because of this isolation .. :ugh:
Of course, I don't feel ashamed of my hoh... we're all equal humans :)
 

downing

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oh yeah. I still remember vivid memories being bullied and picked on. even a boy threw a rock that gashed up my eye that bled all over just because I was deaf.... not a pretty picture however at the end. I bloodied his nose that made me feel better atlas my dad was not too happy with me.. oh well.
 

karlmunch

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ecevit said:
It's not very different for late deafened people.. I'm hard of hearing and have so much difficulty in understanding speech even though I wear a HA.. so I cannot take part in hearing world.. I live in heavy isolation.. and many hearing people try to make fun of my difficulty... they :gossip: and :lol: me sometimes so I often get frustrated and upset and cry a lot at times... it's really hard... I cannot have a 'regular' life because of this isolation .. :ugh:
Of course, I don't feel ashamed of my hoh... we're all equal humans :)

Oh my twin soul!

Same happens on me. I remember when at school teacher told me to sit in the front row. All my mates changed rows each week but me, that was always in the first. I knew then I was different.

I also have a very painful remind of a music class. The teacher was calling the students with the list in her hand, and as she called them they were saying a musical note (in spanish are named: DO RE MI FA SOL LA SI). They were saying them is ascendent order and then in descendent. When it was my turn I didn't know where we were so I just looked terrified to my mates hopping someone could give me a help. But they were staring at me. So I finally said any note, a wrong one and everybody started to laugh. The teacher ask them to shut up and tried to explain me where we were, but I rather heard her. I was so nervous that said another wrong note (hoping to hit the right one) and everybody started to laugh again. The teacher came close to me and said "we are in FA" so I said SOL and everybody started to laugh again. The teacher said "we are in descendent order now" and I finally said the right one: MI. It was a day to be died.

Such things showed I was different from them.
 

karlmunch

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Oh, and I remember when the girl I was with (silly in love) on day looked really bad and said: "You don't even hear me" :shock: WHAT?

It led me to think that I wouldn't enjoy love because of being deaf
 

highlands

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karlmunch said:
Oh, and I remember when the girl I was with (silly in love) on day looked really bad and said: "You don't even hear me" :shock: WHAT?

It led me to think that I wouldn't enjoy love because of being deaf

Same here , buddy :hug:

I also had a ex love who never accepted my loss.. Her looks were in a way that I felt as if I were guilty of being hoh... so I left thinking of her .. and tried to start a new life.. I'm in another love now and she understands me well :)

Never give up your hopes .. try to be positive :hug:
 

sr171soars

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I knew fairly young that I couldn't do some of the things that the normal hearing could do but it didn't faze me then. It wasn't until I was in third grade (my first year being mainstreamed) that it hit home...
 

deafdyke

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I think that ALL deaf folks know somewhat that they're really never going to be a part of the hearing community
Agreed.....we can function somewhat, but we'll never totally entirely be 100% a part of the hearing community.
ecivit, I think Malfy, was referring to people who are late deafened, like people who lost their hearing as older teens or adults.
 

sr171soars

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deafdyke said:
Agreed.....we can function somewhat, but we'll never totally entirely be 100% a part of the hearing community.
...

Er...are you referring to HOH (from birth) too? I can understand the profoundly and truly deaf. Some of us (formerly) severely HOH can function decently in the hearing world. Obviously, those less than severely deaf can do pretty well. I'm sure it depends on the nature of the loss and other factors.

Maybe it is me...being in the hearing world to me is as natural as breathing... Now, I grant you I couldn't say 100% but it is up there (say 90-95%) and the little bit of difference isn't worth talking about. With my CI now, it is scary what I'm catching in various conversations that I'm not a part of much less than those I'm a part of.
 

Rose Immortal

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LOL, that's the curse of being totally hearing...and unlike you it's not like I can take off a piece of equipment to stop the accidental eavesdropping, either. I mean, what kind of B.S. advice is it to "Mind your own business" when you don't have the opportunity to move away from the source of whatever you're not supposed to hear? ;) Take today...there was this REALLY loud argument going on between a couple of my classmates while I was in the room trying to tutor someone. It didn't matter how much either of us tried to focus ourselves on our math problems--we just couldn't help but listen to this argument. If it's a train wreck, you can look away or close your eyes. If it's drama...well, short of leaving the room (which is sometimes even more awkward!), there's just nothing you can do about it!!!

I was really envious of those of you who have an OFF switch, in that moment... ;)
 
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Gemtun

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Sounds silly but I knew I was different the moment I realized I could not ride on a yellow school bus like my younger sister. I remember staying home and watching my younger sister get onto that bus. I turned to my mom and asked why I couldn t get on that bus with neighborhood kids and my sister. Mom said " You have to go to a special school" . I begged and begged until my mother allowed me to go to Kindergarten with my sister at her school for one day. I was so happy to be a " normal " kid but that was when I realized that I am different from my sister and other hearing kids. Then when I started mainstreaming program, I was put in my sister's class. I cried and whined because I was two years older than these kids in my sister's class. Fortunately I was able to skip a grade so didnt have to endure humiliation of being in same class as my younger sister.
 

sr171soars

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Rose Immortal said:
LOL, that's the curse of being totally hearing...and unlike you it's not like I can take off a piece of equipment to stop the accidental eavesdropping, either. I mean, what kind of B.S. advice is it to "Mind your own business" when you don't have the opportunity to move away from the source of whatever you're not supposed to hear? ;) Take today...there was this REALLY loud argument going on between a couple of my classmates while I was in the room trying to tutor someone. It didn't matter how much either of us tried to focus ourselves on our math problems--we just couldn't help but listen to this argument. If it's a train wreck, you can look away or close your eyes. If it's drama...well, short of leaving the room (which is sometimes even more awkward!), there's just nothing you can do about it!!!

I was really envious of those of you who have an OFF switch, in that moment... ;)

A little off topic here...

Yea, yea, yea, you all say that... :D

I admit it is kind of nice but it is funny you say that. Believe it or not, I never turn it off except when I'm close to bedtime (love my sleep without any noise and I would probably go insane if I had to hear while sleeping), taking a shower, or swimming.

Before with my HA, I had to pay attention to overhear another conversation (normal levels) and I had to be selective about it. It took lots of energy for me to listen and I restricted that to what was necessary. Hearing people don't know how exhausting hearing can be when you aren't normal hearing. Social gatherings were the most trying as too many things were going on at the same time.

Now with the CI, hearing is very easy for me and now I'm hearing what I'm not really paying attention to (I do have to focus a little but nothing like before). That is the part that really blew me away! My hearing is really becoming an extension of my senses. I'm getting so comfortable with it.
 

Rose Immortal

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sr171soars said:
A little off topic here...

Yea, yea, yea, you all say that... :D

:P

I admit it is kind of nice but it is funny you say that. Believe it or not, I never turn it off except when I'm close to bedtime (love my sleep without any noise and I would probably go insane if I had to hear while sleeping),

That's the other real gripe I have...I am a terribly light sleeper. ;)
 

Oceanbreeze

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sr171soars said:
It wasn't until I was in third grade (my first year being mainstreamed) that it hit home...

What the heck IS IT about being in third grade that makes kids mean as snakes? Seems to me, that's when a lot of teasing begins. :dunno:
 

deafdyke

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Er...are you referring to HOH (from birth) too? I can understand the profoundly and truly deaf. Some of us (formerly) severely HOH can function decently in the hearing world. Obviously, those less than severely deaf can do pretty well. I'm sure it depends on the nature of the loss and other factors.

Maybe it is me...being in the hearing world to me is as natural as breathing... Now, I grant you I couldn't say 100% but it is up there (say 90-95%) and the little bit of difference isn't worth talking about
Yes, I'm hoh too. I'm not saying that hoh folks can't function in the hearing world.....we can, just that many of us also may have social and emoitional issues in the hearing world, which may inhibit our belonging to the hearing world. There are folks who do really well in the hearing world, but even with things like early intervention and intensive speech therapy, there are still many folks who have social and emoitonal issues in the hearing world. (and it's not dependant on severity of loss either) I mean, even a lot of high acheiving superstar types have social-emoiotal issues in the hearing world.
 

sr171soars

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deafdyke said:
.....we can, just that many of us also may have social and emoitional issues in the hearing world, which may inhibit our belonging to the hearing world. There are folks who do really well in the hearing world, but even with things like early intervention and intensive speech therapy, there are still many folks who have social and emoitonal issues in the hearing world. (and it's not dependant on severity of loss either) I mean, even a lot of high acheiving superstar types have social-emoiotal issues in the hearing world.

Good point...a very good point (the social-emotional aspect). I can see some of that being problematical for me through the younger years. I guess not being in a decent comfort zone communication-wise plays havoc with one's sense of self.
 

sr171soars

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Oceanbreeze said:
What the heck IS IT about being in third grade that makes kids mean as snakes? Seems to me, that's when a lot of teasing begins. :dunno:

Could be that kids are starting to understand themselves and who and what they are. I see it in my son now as he is 8 and in third grade. Last year, he didn't have that same sense of self as he does now. It is like night and day in that respect.
 
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