Depressed father drowned Deaf & Blind toddler

Opal

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BBC NEWS | England | South Yorkshire | Depressed father drowned toddler

Depressed father drowned toddler
A man drowned his 14-month-old son in a bath after he became depressed about the child's debilitating illness and fits, Sheffield Crown court heard.
Andreas Milakovic, 38, pleaded guilty to manslaughter on the ground of diminished responsibility.

Milakovic, who is deaf and mute, fed his son a cocktail of Calpol medicine and red wine before drowning him.

He then attempted to kill himself by drinking vodka and lying in the bath at the family home on Warminster Road.

He was found by Sharon Hirschman, the child's mother on 5 February.

The court was told Milakovic had become severely depressed about his son's illness.

He was blind, deaf and expected to grow up speech impaired.

The child was also diagnosed with West Syndrome, a rare and serious form of epilepsy in infants.

Yacub was unable to swallow or sit up and suffered painful convulsive fits almost daily.

Two days before he died Yacub suffered about 40 fits and Milakovic began to ponder ending his baby's life, the court heard.

Mr Justice Penry-Davey told Milakovic: "It may be that you felt when these events occurred that you had no other course open to you than to take the life of your own son but you are before the court because nobody has the right to end the life of another human being, however desperate the situation."

He adjourned the case for the preparation of psychiatric reports.
 

sara1981

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that crazy!

im sure parents would never let kids drowned in the pool if parents would face in jail anytimes for charges death of children.
 

shel90

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Oh my!!!!!!! Ohhhh that ppppooorrrrrr baby. :tears: :tears: :tears:
 

Cheri

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I don't understand why parents take their deaf kids harder or reacted irresponsibles. I never understand it and probably never will. :(
 

Bear

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I dont kno wwhat to post here for fear of being bashed.

Let me state this it had very little to do with the baby being deaf.

Put yourselves in this father's shoes and seeing your baby suffer like this.

I am in no means saying what the father did was right, But who can say how we would react if we saw our children suffering this horrible fate?

This baby was unable to swallow or sit up and suffered painful convulsions everyday.

Was the father wrong in killing this baby? YES!

But can we really judge this man when our own children are relatively healthy and suffer no where near close to what this man saw his baby go through?

I cannot imagine how horrible it must have been to watch your beloved baby suffer this way. What must it have been like for this man to take such drastic actions?

IS that baby really better off alive or dead? Who's to know or to say?

I feel bad that this kind of thing has to happen at all though. Its a sad tale indeed.
 

IslandGal

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I hadn't seen this thread until now....

It brought tears to my eyes while reading the story :tears:
 

Hwy99

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This make me want to punch father's face to make sure his face is so flat enough, oh maybe that's not enough!
 

deafdyke

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Let me state this it had very little to do with the baby being deaf.

Put yourselves in this father's shoes and seeing your baby suffer like this.

I am in no means saying what the father did was right, But who can say how we would react if we saw our children suffering this horrible fate?

This baby was unable to swallow or sit up and suffered painful convulsions everyday.
Yes Bear. This was one of those cases where the child is profoundly affected by their disabilty. Where their disabilty WAS an inabilty. We sometimes forget that some kids even today are just so beyond profoundly impaired. I don't think they should be Kevorkian'd. I really think that parents of profoundly affected kids need support. That includes opening up care homes for profoundly affected children. We really need to stop harping on "Oh kids should be at home with their families!" We need to remove the stigma of not having a kid at home. Yes, its easy to take care of someone who's mildly MR, but profound MR.............especially with medically complex needs. I just think some "in the community" activists are in denial about how hard it can be to take care of a kid like this.
 

Tesla6518

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People who assist their loved ones to died are given a minimal sentence (less than 1 year). Yet in this case you had a child who was unable to voice his opinions, could only suffer the agony of the numerous fits he had on a daily basis yet his father was committed to a mental health institution indefinitely. It is to be noted that he comitted suicide 3 years later. He had already attempted to kill himself because of the pain and anguish caused by his sons suffering. I just hope people like Hwy99 never have the same decision to make. The question that arises is. If he had not been deaf would he have been admitted to a mental institute indefinitely?
 

deafdyke

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People who assist their loved ones to died are given a minimal sentence (less than 1 year). Yet in this case you had a child who was unable to voice his opinions, could only suffer the agony of the numerous fits he had on a daily basis yet his father was committed to a mental health institution indefinitely. It is to be noted that he comitted suicide 3 years later. He had already attempted to kill himself because of the pain and anguish caused by his sons suffering. I just hope people like Hwy99 never have the same decision to make. The question that arises is. If he had not been deaf would he have been admitted to a mental institute indefinitely?
That's why there needs to be the option of a pediatric nursing home for kids with severe/complex conditions. Offering such a setting probaly would cut down big time on things like this.
 

Ettina

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I would be even more hesitant about sending a child with severe/complex issues to a care home, actually. Many of these kids, the way they communicate is unique to only them, so only people who have spent a lot of time with them can understand them. And child abusers love to work in care homes full of children who can't tell the cops what they're doing.

I don't think it's a lack of support that makes parents kill their kids. I'm autistic and there's been a lot of autistic kids killed by their parents, and it's not just the ones with really severe autism and no support. For example, look at Katie McCarron. She was shaping up to probably be pretty high functioning autistic, and she had a grandpa who loved her so much and offered lots of support to her mom. Her mom refused that support, and then killed her.
 

DeafNerdMommy

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I would be even more hesitant about sending a child with severe/complex issues to a care home, actually. Many of these kids, the way they communicate is unique to only them, so only people who have spent a lot of time with them can understand them. And child abusers love to work in care homes full of children who can't tell the cops what they're doing.

I don't think it's a lack of support that makes parents kill their kids. I'm autistic and there's been a lot of autistic kids killed by their parents, and it's not just the ones with really severe autism and no support. For example, look at Katie McCarron. She was shaping up to probably be pretty high functioning autistic, and she had a grandpa who loved her so much and offered lots of support to her mom. Her mom refused that support, and then killed her.
I 100% agree with this. I worked in a group house with elderly woman who were dumped at a facility as babies/children. They seemed to stuck in a child like state because that's how people treat them. They see them as less or child like even in older age.
There is also a lot of angels of mercy out there. This scares me more than anything.
I don't think it's a lack of support or love. I think it's guilt. I think some parents feel guilty for the child. What did they do wrong? Could they have found out earlier and ended the pregnancy? Can they give the child a life they deserve?
My family is full of high needs people. But I know I felt this with my kids. I have 3 kids that need a little more. I have an autistic adhd intellectually disabled 9 year old, a 8 year old going blind, and a 6 year old with extreme asthma and scared lungs.
I felt like I had messed up somehow. Like I didn't keep them safe. I know there is nothing I could have done to change this. But it's always there.
 

deafdyke

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I 100% agree with this. I worked in a group house with elderly woman who were dumped at a facility as babies/children. They seemed to stuck in a child like state because that's how people treat them. They see them as less or child like even in older age.
There is also a lot of angels of mercy out there. This scares me more than anything.
I don't think it's a lack of support or love. I think it's guilt. I think some parents feel guilty for the child. What did they do wrong? Could they have found out earlier and ended the pregnancy? Can they give the child a life they deserve?
My family is full of high needs people. But I know I felt this with my kids. I have 3 kids that need a little more. I have an autistic adhd intellectually disabled 9 year old, a 8 year old going blind, and a 6 year old with extreme asthma and scared lungs.
I felt like I had messed up somehow. Like I didn't keep them safe. I know there is nothing I could have done to change this. But it's always there.
But what about kids who need nursing home care or who may have extreme needs? I do agree IF and WHEN possible kids should be at home with supports......The overwhelming majority of the time, kids can stay at home..... but there may be situtions where a kid may need nursing home level care or have other extreme needs. It's REALLY tricky and there's no easy answers. What if you had a kid in a persistant vegeative state? Do you remember the Robert Latimer case in Canada? That was heartbreaking.. I totally get it. There's really scary situtions everywhere....But sometimes if the child's needs are extreme, parents may feel like they're caught between a rock and a hard place. ........and I understand about your kids' needs......I do think that with kids with disabilties and differences, it's a good idea to go with a "It Takes a Village" approach..... That approach helps lessen the stress with raising kids with disabilties......for example your 9 year old could attend a camp for ID and other more complex nereodiverances, they might benefit from specialized classes and other specialized experiences targeted towards that population. Your 8 year old could probaly strongly benefit from learning Braille, intense O&M, other blind skills, at least short term courses at the blind school, blind camp and knowing other blind/low vision peers. I know it can be hard trying to find resources for "just" or academic blind kids... but the more you equipt your kid with everything the better........I know this from my friends who are deaf blind or blind/low vision. I wish I had advice for you for your child with asthma but unfortunatly that's outside of my expertise.............
 

DeafNerdMommy

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But what about kids who need nursing home care or who may have extreme needs? I do agree IF and WHEN possible kids should be at home with supports......The overwhelming majority of the time, kids can stay at home..... but there may be situtions where a kid may need nursing home level care or have other extreme needs. It's REALLY tricky and there's no easy answers. What if you had a kid in a persistant vegeative state? Do you remember the Robert Latimer case in Canada? That was heartbreaking.. I totally get it. There's really scary situtions everywhere....But sometimes if the child's needs are extreme, parents may feel like they're caught between a rock and a hard place. ........and I understand about your kids' needs......I do think that with kids with disabilties and differences, it's a good idea to go with a "It Takes a Village" approach..... That approach helps lessen the stress with raising kids with disabilties......for example your 9 year old could attend a camp for ID and other more complex nereodiverances, they might benefit from specialized classes and other specialized experiences targeted towards that population. Your 8 year old could probaly strongly benefit from learning Braille, intense O&M, other blind skills, at least short term courses at the blind school, blind camp and knowing other blind/low vision peers. I know it can be hard trying to find resources for "just" or academic blind kids... but the more you equipt your kid with everything the better........I know this from my friends who are deaf blind or blind/low vision. I wish I had advice for you for your child with asthma but unfortunatly that's outside of my expertise.............
I understand what you are saying. It is tricky and some times there are no other options.
 
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