Deaf wannabe!!!!!!!!!!!! So bad

MINILEE

New Member
I am with Hollykins1, I am getting the feeling this thread is turning from people who fake being D/deaf or HOH to if you are HOH you aren't deaf enough and therefore faking.

My husband is absolutely not faking...being HOHw/HAs it depends entirely on the environment/situation whether he can hear a person with his HAs in or not at all. He is always at a loss when peole ask...it is just too much information to go into and most people do not really want to know anyway

My issue is with TMJ, swelling in the joints at the top of the jaw, and irritated eustacian(sp) tubes. Once the ENT figured out what my fluctuating issue was I did not repost in the "Are you late deafened" thread. I am hearing, although when all that is flaring I cannot hear well, when under control my levels are ok on the audiogram.

when under control your audograms are okay? what does that mean?
but yeah this is very interesting to me as i dont know much about fluctuation becuase i just thought it stays at one level but thats okay if this thread is on this topic i guess it turned into another one
 

Hollykins1

New Member
I wasn't commenting on the fact that when one has fluctuating hearing one isn't "deaf enough". But rather that people tend to think one is faking it because one time something can be heard and then the next time not.
 

ASLGAL

New Member
I wasn't commenting on the fact that when one has fluctuating hearing one isn't "deaf enough". But rather that people tend to think one is faking it because one time something can be heard and then the next time not.
Right. I knew that :)
Sometimes the threads go a different direction.
My friends who have Meniere's say it is very frustrating for them.
 

Anij

Well-Known Member
my heart goes out to you you have been through alot...as you have fluctuation too. Did the docs throw the CI on you also? isnt it hard to repogram and repogram hearing aids for a fluctuating loss?
you have been through so much I have much respect for you :)

Nope - No CI for me - I'm personally not interested in CI for myself & my hearing has always been too "good" on my left side to qualify (for CI on the right).

For the Hearing Aids, my Phonak BTE has a volume wheel that gives me 10db +/- from what it's set to start up at ... it works ok, not perfect by a long stretch, but usually close enough. Most of the time I don't both using my HA - if I'm going out with people, or having a long conversation with someone I'll use it, but at home, in the car, if I'm out on my own - I don't usually bother. I'm completely comfortable with my amount of HL (even with the flux aspect of it) ... basically I have the HA for other people ... if it was up to me, my family would just learn and use ASL with me instead of ME doing all the "hard work" when it comes of communicating and them being able to just sit back and chatter (ie mumble) away and expect me to follow.
 

ASLGAL

New Member
when under control your audograms are okay? what does that mean?
but yeah this is very interesting to me as i dont know much about fluctuation becuase i just thought it stays at one level but thats okay if this thread is on this topic i guess it turned into another one

My audiogram is in the 'quote' normal range when the TMJ is not flaring badly. When the TMJ is flaring I have more clicking, louder tinnitus, in front/behind/inside my ears hurt and feel full, it is like having a pair of sound deafening ear muffs on.

I dealt with the problem for years, actually Alldeaf and specifically the late deafened thread gave me a nudge to go and get it checked out.
 

Aurorum

New Member
Hello. I was browsing the internet about topics related to being able to choose to live without hearing (permanently or temporarily) and it just so happened that this thread was at the very top of results on duckduckgo for me. I dont usually ressurect a thread that dates from 2010, but after reading it i decided i had to give a detailed reply as to why i was pondering this enough to even search the internet for it. Please hear me out without predisposition, or offense, as it is my sole intention to give on-topic insight to a thread that i found to be lacking in closure.

Throughout my reading of the 5 pages of replies i noticed one of the main suggestions was that people who desire to not hear must be mentally ill, and nearly equally was the accompanying term of 'faker', whereby the unofficial blanket prognosis for this was certainly chocked up to be the desired 'attention' one would surely get by being perceived as deaf, and thereby 'special' (despite the contrary that someone acting as deaf would most likely be seen as slighting or disinterested, since one acting as deaf would simply seem to ignore everyone out of direct sight and since many people give up trying to communicate with deaf people in short time. Those who half-way act arent truly fakers because of the variable where some would desire to be found out eventually to reach the crescendo of their performance). Though, i do agree that there are mentally ill people who have various reasons to act deaf, or to seek permanent deafness, it is not responsible to assume that this is the entirety of possibility or reason for any or all that should seek deafness whom may be found to be of sound mind. It's my intention to focus on that, specifically, with fully addressed reasoning and logic as best as i can account for so far.

Being in my 30s, ive had quite a lot of time to hear, take it for granted, or even find it a nuisance. For a deaf person to relate i'll offer this introductory thought; If one was to find a situation consistent enough to be predictable, and that situation without reasonably modest remedy, would it not seem inescapable, like a prison? Almost anything i can imagine would be able to be seen that way after enough exposure to the scenario so that it would become accustomed, normalized, endured, and then maybe even loathed eventually; So that the surreality of a moving world should have no sound for the entirety of ones life might seem inescapable at times, so too that the endurance of an increasingly noisy world might be torturously maddening in all that is imposed mercilessly and without recourse or civility. Either-Or might include those willing to risk the extreme in their reasoning to remedy what logic determines as undesireable, and that is as specific as one of seven billion variables; Some could be prepared to make the switch and live with it, fully understanding that theyre trading one problem for others, and some could be unprepared to choose responsibly. Still, choice is like hearing in ways; Would you deny someone free will that has it if their will didnt hurt others, when in contrast some are born with the 'handicap' of not having self-conciousness or the freedom to explore by their own impulse or will? On the other hand, not having self-consciousness and free will doesn't seem like it would have some of the anti-features of choice - such as the sufferage of consequence. So, like before, we have two situations, where each could be desirable at times, in their own ways... Yet, each may be undesireable in their own ways aswell.

Lets get back to the reasons someone might desire to not hear, at least temporarily, more specifically:

• Noise Pollution (as vaguely mentioned above) -
(1) - Though the deaf may develop hightened senses to compensate for the lack of auditory acuteness or the entire lack thereof, people with hearing are affected mentally, and physically, by the constant of it in increasingly unnatural abundance. This can affect their person in every fascet of life, just as equally as those whom are affected by the lack of it. At times, i can say, it doesnt even have to be blaringly obvious. It could be as simple, and seemingly harmless, as that annoyingly distant noise that persists while trying to sleep, especially if your mind is already distracted by other burdens. There is no off switch, and earplugs are not 100%, since then it only amplifies the focus to sounds of our own body!! Heartbeat, movement, swallowing, breathing for certain, the implicated reminder of semantics related to our breathing rhythm, or that seashell ocean sound from the eventual air current when your earplug finally comes unlodged. Etc.

• Social Structure -
(1) - Intelligence & Culture - What Berry said about varying degrees of context in thinking and communication is spot on, though maybe my context extends differently. Ive found that I very rarely get to communicate like I can online while talking in person, and that the general consensus that represents 'common'-sense is usually sort of like an idiocracy, where the mode of communication is as shallow and tribal as the consumerist media norms that many fill their lives with. If hearing<->talking exchanges are so valuable, why is it that it is so hard to have very deep/serious/meaningful conversations with others in person? Because many people havent practiced talking about something that compounds in definition past a one or two liner.. and the topic gets lost and usually gets morphed into an argument about over-thinking. However, online, the interface and ettiquete in the mode of typing has the form and structure to abide it. Sure, small talk has its charm some days, or more for some, but being a deeply passionate philosophizing 'recluse', i dont find my kind of people in vocalizing the dialogue.. and even if i do i, too, sometimes find it harder to communicate like that. So, you see, its just a form of communicating that i dont even appreciate anymore. Moreso, its distracting and time-consuming, because the conversation in-person usually has pre-requisites, that preclude even beginning to talk about something you truly care to say, which include formalities, body language, presentation.. which are entirely irrevelant to communicating about a subject that doesnt involve your own personal context directly. Not all face to faces are like that, but most. Im sure signing can be similar or the same, but i'm not even really talking about signing. Id rather type, though for non-articulated dialogue ive entertained the idea of communicating purely by body language for those im very close with. No words, signing, or typing. So its very black and white.. but either way, there isnt much room for talking. Though sensualisms might be missed somewhat. If I wasnt forced to be expected to communicate by vocalizing and hearing just because i have good hearing id be much happier.. but i do have good hearing so it would make my life so much harder if i insisted on typing or writing as my preferred means of communication.

• Free Will - As ive noticed many responses using terms like faker, insulted, disgusted, mentally-ill, I relate that kind of response to the implicated projection of ownership in expectation of others in societies 'civilization' where there is anything but true civility. You see, in-context, labels and terms imply many different things depending on the manner in which theyre applied. If you impulsively understand deaf as an 'us' thing to be vetted by circumstance, you exclude others whom dont have an 'us' complex (maybe mentally ill?), and promote the dissention of intolerance under the pretense of division, despite us all being human (i think). So, we all have the same parts, generally. We're roughly the same. Perhaps if I desired to not use one of my senses (even if for a time) when it isnt implicitly required, i believe i should have that option, and to have it without any approval or implied connection to the deaf community or the rest of humanity despite me having functional ears. Thats a motivation right there, because you see were in an age that is supposed to be more liberated and free-er than ever, but stepping outside of your front door exposes you to the most complex and overwhelming possibilities of litigation and legal fears than has ever existed. Cant do this, cant do that, must hear this, must hear that, must speak when spoken to, if you write it as a response on paper youre being insulting and uncooperative. The sickness is indeed deep, and it is not sick to wish to just say 'No, I dont hear you anymore. I dont ever want to hear you or your kind again.' Theres closure and peace in that for people like me. My mind could think so much clearer. Im already accustomed to people being rude and obtuse etc.

Knowing ill always have my own voice to vocalize mentally and the imagination and experience to recall sound is enough. I think it would be an adventure too. While it has disadvantages (i usually play games in hardcore/permadeath mode anyways), i believe as i became accustomed to it i would learn to appreciate life in new ways, and maybe even enjoy socializing more if i didnt have to talk or hear since i would not have to be seen as obtuse in saying 'i dont like communicating just to be cancel-cultured for not being you'.

I think i had other thoughts or points to include, but this will have to do for now. While there are supposed alternatives for each of these points ive brought up i wont validify my points over the alternatives, as thats not my place. This thread asked for insight as to maybe why people are motivated to become deaf, and so i did my best so far to give my opinion. Thanks for having me.
 
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