Deaf in denial... help

:wave: Jillio I was just thinking the same thing....
 
QUOTE=jhintak;1662400]


As for his "depression" at least from my observation according to your guy's inputs.. I told his dad he's very sad and gets frustrated often. And he knew. So I can't really do anything beyond that. I'm not the family, and I'm only assigned to teach english and math. I can't control what the family wants and doesn't want, so as much as I'd love to look for help and other specialized people in the field, I wouldn't be able to because his dad knows of what's goin on. He just decided not to do anything about it, and wants me to just befriend him and keep him happy.

I understand where you come from, but you are not qualified enough in assisting him. Social worker or case manager with experiences who handle cases and make some referrals. It sounds like guy's dad does not want any social services to get involved with the guy. In my opinion, guy's father may use you in order to befriend with the guy with minimal communication skills.


Family just wants him to be able to make a living on his own some day.

Well, since he has no working history. What if his parents are passing away tomorrow? Where will he go? Just be prepared for the worst. Again, in my opinion, he may be living in a group home with other Deaf people. He will get some job trainings and get evaluated by professionals before placing him to the jobs.

Parents just don't want to sign much. They don't bother expanding their vocabulary, and because of their minimum knowledge in ASL, they don't speak with him very long. Just little commands like "learn, study, read," little stuff like that. KSL wouldn't help, because then my student would need to learn ANOTHER language, and he'd only get more frustrated.

What a shame for his family for not willing to learn how to communicate with guy.

He got kicked out because he caused a lot of trouble. He's self-centered. He only cares about what he wants and what he likes. And he doesn't like a lot of things. So when there's something he doesn't like or someone he doesn't like, he'll express it, and get in trouble for it. Either someone beats him up, or he gets punished for his actions. And that's why he was kicked out/pulled out of schools. And now the school he goes to is moving to another city, so he wont be able to attend that. It's an adult school.


I interpret stuff on tv, i read him stuff off the internet, and countless other things.

What about closed captioned? Interpreting stuff on TV could be so cumbersome and time consuming. I am surprised that you are willing to interpret for him.

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Oddball said:
QUOTE=jhintak;1662400]


As for his "depression" at least from my observation according to your guy's inputs.. I told his dad he's very sad and gets frustrated often. And he knew. So I can't really do anything beyond that. I'm not the family, and I'm only assigned to teach english and math. I can't control what the family wants and doesn't want, so as much as I'd love to look for help and other specialized people in the field, I wouldn't be able to because his dad knows of what's goin on. He just decided not to do anything about it, and wants me to just befriend him and keep him happy.

I understand where you come from, but you are not qualified enough in assisting him. Social worker or case manager with experiences who handle cases and make some referrals. It sounds like guy's dad does not want any social services to get involved with the guy. In my opinion, guy's father may use you in order to befriend with the guy with minimal communication skills.


Family just wants him to be able to make a living on his own some day.

Well, since he has no working history. What if his parents are passing away tomorrow? Where will he go? Just be prepared for the worst. Again, in my opinion, he may be living in a group home with other Deaf people. He will get some job trainings and get evaluated by professionals before placing him to the jobs.

Parents just don't want to sign much. They don't bother expanding their vocabulary, and because of their minimum knowledge in ASL, they don't speak with him very long. Just little commands like "learn, study, read," little stuff like that. KSL wouldn't help, because then my student would need to learn ANOTHER language, and he'd only get more frustrated.

What a shame for his family for not willing to learn how to communicate with guy.

He got kicked out because he caused a lot of trouble. He's self-centered. He only cares about what he wants and what he likes. And he doesn't like a lot of things. So when there's something he doesn't like or someone he doesn't like, he'll express it, and get in trouble for it. Either someone beats him up, or he gets punished for his actions. And that's why he was kicked out/pulled out of schools. And now the school he goes to is moving to another city, so he wont be able to attend that. It's an adult school.


I interpret stuff on tv, i read him stuff off the internet, and countless other things.

What about closed captioned? Interpreting stuff on TV could be so cumbersome and time consuming. I am surprised that you are willing to interpret for him.
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I agree with Oddball 110%.... :gpost:
 
jhintak said:
would start mumbling, trying to make out words. And I'm not deaf myself, so I can't say I understand what he's going through. But it's really hard for me to teach him anything when he's not signing to me, and only trying to speak to me. When he speaks (mumbles), I can't understand him, so I tell him to sign to me and he'll start getting mad that I'm being rude, and that I'm lying. He'll also ask me to teach him how to voice words, and I have no idea how to do that.
Help...?
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Have you thought about a voice amplifier like tour guides use see here Zabonne - ZaVox+ Voice Amplifier - see note

As much as a Deaf/deaf has the right to sign they have the right the to use speech
 
Its sad to see the parents left it too late for him to learn and still its never too late to learn anyway....the blame lies with the parents in not taking much effort to support his needs and really sad to see him trying to be someone he isnt (a hearing). While he detest learning to sign, oral is the only way to go for now til maybe someday he will realize Signing might be the best thing for him in the end.
I agree with one, that you cannot force him to do what he doesnt want to learn, just cos u dont understand his mumbling which brings me to ask how do you understand what he reallly wants when you said you dont understand him at all?
While I admire your patience and williness to learn with him, baby steps is the way to go til he grasps the reality of signing or speaking. I wish you luck in supporting him in anyway you can.
 
Flydragon said:
Its sad to see the parents left it too late for him to learn and still its never too late to learn anyway....the blame lies with the parents in not taking much effort to support his needs and really sad to see him trying to be someone he isnt (a hearing). While he detest learning to sign, oral is the only way to go for now til maybe someday he will realize Signing might be the best thing for him in the end.
I agree with one, that you cannot force him to do what he doesnt want to learn, just cos u dont understand his mumbling which brings me to ask how do you understand what he reallly wants when you said you dont understand him at all?
While I admire your patience and williness to learn with him, baby steps is the way to go til he grasps the reality of signing or speaking. I wish you luck in supporting him in anyway you can.
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:gpost: :gpost:

On the bold statement, I have been wondering about that, too. Was Jhintak thinking that he would lie to us if he is making a point about getting "imagine" that he had a client who need help with English? Instead he went further about helping him by his kindness just because he is Korean.

I don't know whether he is telling the truth or not. We were suppose to discuss or debate or just leave at that if we don't know how to help him to communicate with Mr. Jhinktak. The way I read his comments are way out of my league that I am not sure what is going on. Like I said before that his parents might have brainwash him making him think that being deaf is bad and he should be like everyone in the family hearing. No one in the family really want to communicate with him with ASL or sign language. There is a puzzle there, all right. :hmm:

Edit: Hearing parents and Hearing siblings must accept the deaf child or deaf person the way he or she is. They can not force him to be like them if they are not accepting him. :(
 
jillio said:
Why? There is no indication that he is late-deafened or that he needs an audiological eval. His issues go far beyond what either of these can address.
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They also serve hard of hearing, oral, and people new to our world. Theyre very good at introducing them to our resources and way of life. My co-worker is the president of ALDA and I see great things about the org everyday
 
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Who is paying the tutor? Whoever is paying the tutor should be the one directing the process. That is, the tutor has a duty to the person who hired him. If the father is paying the tutor, the tutor should tell the father the truth--that he's not qualified to do what he wants and that it's not working. If the state is paying the tutor, the tutor needs to tell the truth to whoever is in charge of the student's case. I doubt that the state picked out this particular tutor, though, because it's an inappropriate placement. Regarding the mental health issues, tell both the father and the caseworker. If the tutor really wants to help, he won't waste time and effort doing what is not helping.
 
sallylou said:
Who is paying the tutor? Whoever is paying the tutor should be the one directing the process. That is, the tutor has a duty to the person who hired him. If the father is paying the tutor, the tutor should tell the father the truth--that he's not qualified to do what he wants and that it's not working. If the state is paying the tutor, the tutor needs to tell the truth to whoever is in charge of the student's case. I doubt that the state picked out this particular tutor, though, because it's an inappropriate placement. Regarding the mental health issues, tell both the father and the caseworker. If the tutor really wants to help, he won't waste time and effort doing what is not helping.
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Bingo!! :ty:
 
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