Old Deaf Ranter
I can imagine how frustrating it would be to feel like a hearing person (or anyone for that matter) has "given up" or "dismissed" you because they are having a hard time understanding what you're saying. I'd just like to say that I think a lot of times hearing people (especially those who are trying to learn ASL or who have little experience with deaf or HOH people) can be embarassed easily by NOT being able to communicate and can seem rude when they're really just shy or nervous about communicating in a new way.
But imagine your frustration if you lived this way for over 50 years around that type behavior, even if only sporadic out in public.
Probably the shy and nervous should find a new avocation from communicating with the deaf.
They could use pagers, (BB , Sidekick) , pen and paper. There is not really that big a barrier that can't be overcome.