Deaf culture - do's and don'ts, etc. Let's make a list!

quirkylibra

New Member
I hate it when people look directly at my hearing aids and say "Do you wear hearing aids?" How annoying!:mad2:
 

sallylou

Potterhead and Janeite
Premium Member
I tell them it's top secret and act like I'm FBI or Secret Service. I've got the tube showing. Figure that should have a little fun with it.
 

somedeafdudefromPNW

Active Member
I get accused of following people around too much...

If you don't want me following you around, STOP TALKING WHEN YOU ARE NOT FACING ME! If you talk while you're in the kitchen, I am going to bloody go into the kitchen because I don't want to be rude and not understand what you are saying.

Gaaaaaawh.

When people will learn not to talk behind my back (literally, not figuratively) or out of my sight? Otherwise there is no point in trying to talk to me at all.
 

Waxy

Member
That is NOT at all what I was saying. My comments had nothing to do with culture they had to do with understanding. If you read my post you will see that it was not asking to change a culture but a way of thought and behavior and giving views from both sides. Hearing people do not always know how to act around a deaf person and for a deaf person to just assume they are being rude or stupid and become angry is no way to be. I didn't say ALL deaf I said some and you need to be aware that SOME deaf people have left bad teachings and ideas as far as how to be around a deaf person. I also stated that it needs to happen on both sides but if the first knee jerk reaction is to anger when a hearing person who obviously doesn't know any better treats a deaf person in an unacceptable manor the impressions left in a hearing persons mind are negative. Then that hearing person walks away with a negative view and may very well treat the next deaf person they meet with negativity. There is nothing wrong with speaking up as a Deaf person when you are not being treated correctly but there is a way to do it.

Your statement just said to me " they can act that way because they are a culture and thats how they react" That is a very poor representation of the Deaf community. I wasn't asking that they be Hearing or another culture, but to be human and understand mistakes do happen and if they do not take actions to correct it in a manor that helps and not hurts it will always be a problem. Just as hearing people cannot change their mistakes if they do not know and need to deal with these things in a manor that helps and not hurts.

i'm sorry if i seem rude or too straight forward (or too basic, if you want)
I just believe we, hearings, got to make it up to them, after 200 years of our imperialism (and dictatorship)
Let them be completely free, let them develope and adapt and realize by theyselves that they need some kind of behavior in their enviroment, and probably we wont need 200 years for making it up.
I bet they'll get it faster than that.
again, apologies
:grouphug:
 

CJB

New Member
I get accused of following people around too much...

If you don't want me following you around, STOP TALKING WHEN YOU ARE NOT FACING ME! If you talk while you're in the kitchen, I am going to bloody go into the kitchen because I don't want to be rude and not understand what you are saying.

Gaaaaaawh.

When people will learn not to talk behind my back (literally, not figuratively) or out of my sight? Otherwise there is no point in trying to talk to me at all.

This reminds me...

This might be specific to Deafblind folks, but it happened to me just today. Big no-no. :nono:

Don't pat me on the head to get my attention. Ever. Tap me on the shoulder or on the back of my hand. Or brush my forearm. But don't pat me on the head! I'm not six! :mad2:
 

sallylou

Potterhead and Janeite
Premium Member
Often I can't hear hubby coming in and I freak out when he does. Broke several dishes the other day. He tries to alert me but nothing has worked so far. I like the flickering the light switch idea. I'm going to try that. Thanks for the idea!
 

DGirl101

New Member
That is NOT at all what I was saying. My comments had nothing to do with culture they had to do with understanding. If you read my post you will see that it was not asking to change a culture but a way of thought and behavior and giving views from both sides. Hearing people do not always know how to act around a deaf person and for a deaf person to just assume they are being rude or stupid and become angry is no way to be. I didn't say ALL deaf I said some and you need to be aware that SOME deaf people have left bad teachings and ideas as far as how to be around a deaf person. I also stated that it needs to happen on both sides but if the first knee jerk reaction is to anger when a hearing person who obviously doesn't know any better treats a deaf person in an unacceptable manor the impressions left in a hearing persons mind are negative. Then that hearing person walks away with a negative view and may very well treat the next deaf person they meet with negativity. There is nothing wrong with speaking up as a Deaf person when you are not being treated correctly but there is a way to do it.

Your statement just said to me " they can act that way because they are a culture and thats how they react" That is a very poor representation of the Deaf community. I wasn't asking that they be Hearing or another culture, but to be human and understand mistakes do happen and if they do not take actions to correct it in a manor that helps and not hurts it will always be a problem. Just as hearing people cannot change their mistakes if they do not know and need to deal with these things in a manor that helps and not hurts.

What if these mistakes do happen time and time again?

I believe that the majority HAVE in fact shown, told, educated, and et al, and have done this in a manner that will not make a person feel like an idiot nor are we a mean bunch and jump down people's throats.

The fact remains, we are sick and tired of repeating ourselves, some of us have done this all our lives, with the same results over and over again. Some of us have families and friends that STILL do some of these annoying things to us, even AFTER we've explained why, it's rude to us or do not like it.

We are patient and explain time and time again, and often it is to the same person or what have you, some hearies however do not even bother with trying to listen or understand Us.

These boards as you can see are not just catering to Deaf, Hard of Hearing, Deaf Blind, those with Acquired Hearing Loss, and etc. It also caters to Hearing people as well and they are welcomed here, from what I see so far.

It was a Hearing Person that asked the first question.

........and we obliged by stating what upsets us.

We Deaf ask questions to the Hearies too and they respond in kind.
 

shel90

Audist are not welcome
Premium Member
I'm exhausted enough trying to hear and listen. I just don't have the energy to be Ms. Educator. I might invest more energy in a more intimate relationship that I would with an acquaintance. It's not my responsibility to educate everyone I come into contact with.

We are, in part, blowing off steam because tired of the same thing over and over again. When someone meets us, we're novel to them. I've been through the same old spiel over and over again. You'd have to be a saint to be patient all of the time.

Someone told me that if I wanted respect from hearing people, I need to educate them. I dont have the FREAKING time or ENERGY!!! I have my own life and my own responsibilities. I try to educate them but there are some who refuse to get out of their comfort zone and I REFUSE to waste my time on them.
 

somedeafdudefromPNW

Active Member
Someone told me that if I wanted respect from hearing people, I need to educate them. I dont have the FREAKING time or ENERGY!!! I have my own life and my own responsibilities. I try to educate them but there are some who refuse to get out of their comfort zone and I REFUSE to waste my time on them.

LOL...

Wish I read that earlier when someone asked why I don't bother correcting people anymore so I could quote you.
 

CJB

New Member
I'm happy to educate people. But there are days when I don't have the energy or I'm not in the mood. I shouldn't be forced into the position of the educator just cause I have a "disability."
 

buttkisses

New Member
LOL I wasn't speaking of those who obviously should know better! Those people that do the same behaviors over and over need a knock upside the head. I guess I have witnessed some deaf people over the years that want to teach bad words as an ice breaker, and I have witnessed some deaf people that will continue to speak with their voices and refuse to sign because they think hearing people can understand them. This can be confusing and send a mixed signal. I am speaking about those that really don't know any better , I have seen some deaf people become angry quickly at innocent mistakes and that leaves a very bad tatse in a hearing persons mind when it is the first time they have ever dealt with a deaf person. I didn't mean you had to be a saint all the time.

You were given a gift, your deafness is something many of you say you are proud to have and wouldn't change for the world. With your deafness comes a uniqueness and that also means a chance to educate and advocate.

Those peeople that keep doing the same mistakes over and over deserve a bit of anger and a bit of harshness to get the message across. Sometimes it is hard to get the message out over the internet in the way we mean it. Sorrry for the confusion.
 

Grummer

Active Member
ew. not me i dont enjoy anyone's farts. :shock:

anymore than we cant hear their farts

some farts are loud, some are squeaks, others are grates, and some are snaps
but we cant hear those, (if not properly, all depends on your hearing profile)
but we can discern various smells... like..

so different farts comes along as sweet, vulgar, gaseous lilke ethane or methane (which it is), and sometimes reeking of curry or vegatables



:lol:

come on frisk, lighten up
 
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Lighthouse77

New Member
I have seen some deaf people become angry quickly at innocent mistakes and that leaves a very bad taste in a hearing persons mind when it is the first time they have ever dealt with a deaf person. I didn't mean you had to be a saint all the time.

If they used one person as a representative for ALL deaf, then I don't really care about that person. As far as I'm concern, they would do the same thing to black people too. My cousin's grandparents was shot by a black family friend and left his dad without parents. Every black person my cousin's father ran into, he thinks they are just like the family friend who killed his parents. He is very racist. All because their skin color different from his. I guess instead of skin color, some people look at their hearing status as an excuse to not like any deaf people. When in fact, there are other people just like themselves who act just the same as the deaf people who get mad at innocent mistakes. When I was cashier, people got mad at me and YELLED at me furiously because I couldn't hear them correctly (innocent mistakes).
 
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