Deaf culture - do's and don'ts, etc. Let's make a list!

GarnetTigerMom

New Member
:bowlol: I agree with don't touch my hearing aids, but I've never had that occur. Another thing, when you are asked to repeat something, don't respond to me, "Oh, never mind." Or, "I'll tell you later." As for "good touch, bad touch," I tell people to dismiss everything they were taught, as they're okay with touching me to get my attention, which they understand it to be a pat on the arm. There was a man in a church earlier this year that "tapped" me on my upper shoulder, chest part and behind me to get my attention regarding my hearing dog. That is a major no-no. Anything above the middle of my biceps, chest and everywhere else is not permitted.

Oh, by the way, don't pound your hand on the table. That is so annoying.

LOL,,, Now that true too so many deaf friends do bang on the table which is very annoying, the making it feel like it an earthquake about to hit the floor! LOL
 

pek1

New Member
I also forgot to add . . . don't sneak up behind me and scare me. It'll work or I may see movement from behind me through a reflection. I do get jumpy, so it's best not to sneak up and scare me.
 

Maria

Active Member
Premium Member
I also forgot to add . . . don't sneak up behind me and scare me. It'll work or I may see movement from behind me through a reflection. I do get jumpy, so it's best not to sneak up and scare me.

:lol: Aww...

I might sneak up and boo at ya anytime if I see you online. :giggle:
 

R2D2

New Member
Interesting thread! I agree with a lot of the other posters.

I don't like it when people hyperenunciate i.e. moving their lips with exaggeration I find it harder to understand and it's annoying. It happened a lot when I was a child but not so much as an adult for some reason, maybe cos people know me?
 

Buffalo

Active Member
Do be willing to write back and forth with me, if you need to tell me something and don't know signs for it.

Do not "dismiss" or give up on us if we don't understand what you are saying. This is annoying.

So, don't be afraid to try pen and paper if you need THAT to express yourself or understand others. You do it for YOU as well as for me.

Never, never ever rely on a third party to interpret if they are not paid or seem unwilling. Get a clue and take responsiblity for your own communication with a Deaf person. For example, a married couple - hearing and deaf, and the inlaws always bother the hearing spouse to interpret everything for the deaf spouse. This can be annoying and piss off the "interpreter." It shows a lack of interest in trying to communicate with the deaf spouse, and it creates resentment in the hearing spouse.

Never ask a child to interpret for his or her parents if his/her parents don't want them to be in that role.

Agree! I find it very annoying to hear one say "Nevermind" or "I will tell you later" because they never tell me later. They always forgot what it was.

Good idea on not asking the hearing spouse to be an 'interpreter'.

I always knew that one (hearing or deaf) shouldn't ask a child to interpret. Let children be children.
 

Buffalo

Active Member
Or gestures that make more sense but are HUGE, with arms waving like drowning persons. It is embarassing.

Also people who say "Good for you!" when they learn I am in college, like you say to a good dog or a little kid.

I don't like exaggerated gestures either. Also one shouldn't talk with things in the mouth like cigar/cigarette/pen/lollipop. Men with overgrown mustache can be very difficult to understand. Once I meet a man with very bushy beard and no teeth (not even false teeth) and I can't understand him at all.

I agree "good for you" can sounds like if we were kids or a dogs
 

Buffalo

Active Member
I also forgot to add . . . don't sneak up behind me and scare me. It'll work or I may see movement from behind me through a reflection. I do get jumpy, so it's best not to sneak up and scare me.

Sometimes the coworker can't help scaring me if I was so engrossed in my work and the coworker stepped in my cubicle.
 

Buffalo

Active Member
Interesting thread! I agree with a lot of the other posters.

I don't like it when people hyperenunciate i.e. moving their lips with exaggeration I find it harder to understand and it's annoying. It happened a lot when I was a child but not so much as an adult for some reason, maybe cos people know me?

Ditto.

I'd like to add few other things. I understand that many female Chinese speak so softly as sign of respect but it is too soft for me to understand. Still, I wish they would talk abit louder for my benefit. I also have to remember that some Chinese substitute 'l' for 'r'. Some Germans/Ukrainians replace 'w' for 'v'. Some of those Southerns (USA) are difficult to understand.

At the Deaf plays, we don't clap. We 'wave' instead. Just hold both hands up high and shake the hands.

At the Deaf weddings, we don't tap glass with spoon to get the bride and groom to kiss. We twirl the napkin around up high. I think it is for any religion. Most weddings I attended were Roman Catholic.

I don't mind if someone tap me anywhere on my arms.

When one is talking to a Deaf person, one shouldn't cover the mouth.

I know that some Deaf can be noisy and also make smacking sounds without being aware of it.

One should not push CI on any Deaf people as many of us don't like/want it. Once a guy (I don't know him well and didn't like him) got CI and tried to push it on his deaf wife and me as well.
 

Cheri

Prayers for my dad.
Premium Member
I would also want to know if my HA is making whistling sounds!

Lol I remembered being told that my hearing aid is making whistling noises, I would get so embarrassed and say "damn those hearing aids, can you be quiet for gawd sake!". :giggle:
 

shel90

Audist are not welcome
Premium Member
These two phrases have to be the most hated phrases in the deaf community.

I agree with u on that one. It makes me want to go pycho whenever a hearing person says those who phrases. Whenever those two phrases were used when I was a child, it made me feel worse about the situation. Not a good feeling to have.
 

shel90

Audist are not welcome
Premium Member
Pls do not much so much focus on our ability to speak like "Wow!!! u can talk!" "U must be so smart for u to be able to talk so good!"

I suggest maybe make a nice comment but dont go on and on and on about it.
 

jillio

New Member
:giggle: Good thing no one reported you for child abuse. :lol:

Actually, I did have a neigbor who was hearing call children's services and report me because I allowed my deaf son to ride a bicycle, and she thought I was putting him in danger and being neglectful! Go figure!:eek3:
 

Kaitin

New Member
I like this thread! :D

Don't say with every sentence "do you understand?" or "did you hear me?". Our neighbor at my parents house does and I avoid her. Every sentence. Again and again. I want to say "Stop! Do you understand?". ;)
 

Liebling:-)))

Sussi *7.7.86 - 18.6.09*
Premium Member
Good thread

I own flash lighting outlets in my household. You can see that exact picture what I have in my house... See the red arrow of black figure stand - Alarm... "call us"...




It annoys me when my boys are upstair and we are downstair... They are too lazy to call us from upstair so they press the "Alarm" button to tell us to come up to them... They did it sometimes... They said to me that we did the same thing to call with our voice to them from upstair when they are downstair... It annoy them, too... :o It make no difference... I told them that flash lighting for long 30 seconds everywhere in my house bothers me...

The light flashing continue for long 30 seconds when they press the Alarm button. Everyone will think we are :crazy: and play with flash camera everywhere in my house when they see continue flash lights from windows... :giggle: We made :deal: for use emergency if I call them with voice as same as they press the alarm button... until we agreed Arrrrghhh... :giggle:
 

Liebling:-)))

Sussi *7.7.86 - 18.6.09*
Premium Member
I don't like it when someone throws an object at me to get my attention, that's rude and disrespectful. If someone trying to get my attention, it's more polite and respectful to come up and tab me on the shoulder.

I don't mind if anyone flick the lights to get my attention or stomp their feet.

I do not like when someone yells or shout while communicating with me, It's not gonna make me hear any better.

I don't like door slamming either, It annoys me.

*nodding agreement* I know that feeling... I don´t like it either... They throw something to get my attention...
 

Liebling:-)))

Sussi *7.7.86 - 18.6.09*
Premium Member
Good thread here!!

Oh I hate it if someone throws a dangerous object at me. Once a friend threw a pen at me and know where the pointed end landed? Right in between of my eyes. I said OW and reached my hand up to where it had hurt. I then saw some blood on my hand and looked at my friend whose eyes were wide open. I then went to look in a mirror, seeing that I looked so horrible with blood running down my nose. I told my friend what if it had landed right into my eye?! Thank goodness, it didn't.

Yeah, my boss did that to me, too... *sigh* He throw pen or ruler... It hits my head ... I told him off to not do that again case it might affect my eye...
 

Interpretrator

Crime fighter
Premium Member
Do not ever, ever pretend to be deaf if you aren't.

(I don't mean signing with hearing friends or going "voice off" at events or that kind of thing, of course.)
 

GarnetTigerMom

New Member
I also forgot to add . . . don't sneak up behind me and scare me. It'll work or I may see movement from behind me through a reflection. I do get jumpy, so it's best not to sneak up and scare me.

OH GOD! I hate that too,, whenever a friend or a family member sneak up behind me I end up jumping out of my skin screaming LOL Damn I really don't like that! lol I was ready to deck them! lol
 
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