Dating Sweet Deaf guy

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sbeards19

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Hello All, I am 19 and met a wonderful sweet guy online.... we have to meet in person but he is deaf. I am just worried if it would work out and stuff? We have a lot in common and can talk for hours at a time. He is soo sweet and nice and I know I wont find a guy like him hearing. It doesnt bother me that he is deaf m jsut I have never had a boyfriend let alone someone who cant hear. Anyone got some info / help! Please :) Thank you
 
sbeards19 said:
Hello All, I am 19 and met a wonderful sweet guy online.... we have to meet in person but he is deaf. I am just worried if it would work out and stuff? We have a lot in common and can talk for hours at a time. He is soo sweet and nice and I know I wont find a guy like him hearing. It doesnt bother me that he is deaf m jsut I have never had a boyfriend let alone someone who cant hear. Anyone got some info / help! Please :) Thank you
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I understand your concerns. You have found a good forum that may help with your questions/concerns. :)

Can you specify more about your request for information? Such as learning sign language or what?

Good luck!
 
Well, he knows how to lip read so he told me not to worry about learning sign language. But I would like to learn anyways, and I am not sure what the Relay system is he tried to explain it to me but it still confuses me. I really like him a lot ( i know we only just met yesterday but we talked for a straight 5 hours lol) And we are both what we want in a relationship. :) Anything that you have for me would be great help :)
 
I forgot to say this in my message earlier.... but I am VERY sure that he is who he says he is b/c I looked up his name online and the address he gave me matched the one I looked up and the phone number matched and everything. We have so much in common I just hope it is true..... Any advice on meeting someone from online... I know to meet in a public place and all that:) And I am going to write him a snail mail letter without my return addy on it until we meet just to be certain that he is the sweet wonderful guy I talked to online :) I would appreciate any help that anyone in this forum could offer me. I also have yahoo and aim so you can feel free to message me.
 
Relay service is a hearing operator who relay the messages back and forth. Like you call your date thru relay and you tell the relay to call the number and the operator will dial the number. The operator will let your date know that there is a relay call from the hearing person *you*. Then the converstation begin and treat that the operator is not there but you are speaking to your date not the operator. Meaning the operator talking to you from what she/he read from the tty and then she/he typed what you says. So the conversation is going back and forth. I hope this make sense to ya.

Good Luck
 
Ya it sort of makes sense:) And he is a great guy I cant wait to meet him. I am looking for any information that any one has about being in a deaf/hearing relationship. Its all new to me, and so is relationship.... never had a bf.
 
Sounded sweet, but you DO need to get involved in deaf world. And that your honey should try to get involved with hearing world. These two things that needs to get priority straight. Because of culture conflicts between hearing and deaf world! That is why there is about 88% divorce rate going on between hearing and deaf spouse within 5 years time frame. So, my suggest to dive in deaf world and see if you can deal with them. Then you would have better idea how your relationship with that sweet guy would come out. Finally suggest to start with friend first and let time go by and you will know for sure. Rather dive right into relationship and that heart shaped baloon would burst and end of story with LOTS of grieves, worth it? You decide.
 
I agree with you on that .... but how exactly do I get involved in deaf world? I think that things would go ok b/c there are more ways of communicating than speaking... body language...sign language...lip reading.....and for the fact that he i unable to hear if i say I love you *** when the time comes *** there are more ways to show it like hugging, kissing, holding hands. But I do understand what you mean. How can I learn sign language... He has said he would show me but I want to learn some before hand .... you know? Just I know I shouldnt jump into a relationship with him ... but I wont let someone sweet like him be passed up b/c it is hard for me to find a bf and I have finally found a great guy regardless if he can hear or not.
 
Its more than that. It is basically culture issues. One of classic examples we deafies have what is called DST (Deaf Standard Time). Arrive late, leave late at parties, gathering etc. Can you deal with long byes? Believe it or not, it is part of deaf that generally would take an hour or longer to say good byes! For example, I would say, hey, I better get going, take care bye then subject changes, then few minutes later, I said sheesh I gotta to go, but again I stay longer and longer and longer couple hours later I finally left! That is natural for deafies to do that. On other hand, once a hearing person say good bye, they ZOOM out of place and got lost in no time. In fact, most hearing people hate long goodbyes. So, ask yourself, can you handle that? I have known many hearing people get fumed over this.
Anyway, that is one small example, there is much more to that.

sbeards19 said:
I agree with you on that .... but how exactly do I get involved in deaf world? I think that things would go ok b/c there are more ways of communicating than speaking... body language...sign language...lip reading.....and for the fact that he i unable to hear if i say I love you *** when the time comes *** there are more ways to show it like hugging, kissing, holding hands. But I do understand what you mean. How can I learn sign language... He has said he would show me but I want to learn some before hand .... you know? Just I know I shouldnt jump into a relationship with him ... but I wont let someone sweet like him be passed up b/c it is hard for me to find a bf and I have finally found a great guy regardless if he can hear or not.
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I can handle long good byes b/c Last night we both said we were getting offline at 11.....and before you know it is was midnight. :) I dont mind long good byes......I know it is more than that And I am willing to learn and be patient whatever it takes. I mean I came here so I could get advice on what to do :) I am looking for any advice that ANYONE has in being in a deaf/hearing relationship. I am willing to learn sign language for him even though he said he could read lips... And Im taking the extra step to make things go smoothly between us. I understand some things like the relay system and everything but I still need to learn more and it will take time... I know that.... :)
 
not all deaf have long goodbyes, many times I go off real quick with a short goodbye. :)
 
Reminds me of the Gremlins movie. Cute fuzzy toys made them acceptable to people only to find oput they can become monsters.

Jo
 
Well, I really like him ... and I think he feels the same about me... So I am willing to learn sign language for him and do whatever it takes. B/c I know we have a lot in common and it feels like we were meant to be together. Anyone know where I can learn sign language online? Anyone got any information for me about deaf/hearing relationships??? Any help will be greatly appreciated....19 and he would also be my first bf ... and he is 24 and very sweet
 
sbeards19 said:
Well, I really like him ... and I think he feels the same about me... So I am willing to learn sign language for him and do whatever it takes. B/c I know we have a lot in common and it feels like we were meant to be together. Anyone know where I can learn sign language online? Anyone got any information for me about deaf/hearing relationships??? Any help will be greatly appreciated....19 and he would also be my first bf ... and he is 24 and very sweet
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Here's my word of advice, don't get your hopes up with him. Keep it low and see how it goes in person, it's not the same online as in person. You understand people far better in person than online. I've been there and done that with several dates. I know he would be your first bf, just wait and see how it goes in person. That's my 2 cents
 
sequoias said:
Here's my word of advice, don't get your hopes up with him. Keep it low and see how it goes in person, it's not the same online as in person. You understand people far better in person than online. I've been there and done that with several dates. I know he would be your first bf, just wait and see how it goes in person. That's my 2 cents
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I know that ... but I think he is the same online as in person :) I know I should keep it low... but I just have a gut feeling when I talk to him that things are going to work...... We have known each other one day but in that time I feel like i have known him for years.
 
response to both of you

I have love her ever since I am talk to her yesterday and I am still the same person and online and in peron and sbeards is my gf and will always be I am here first and last to search for happy ever after ending story.
 
I will be SMAHT said:
yall have my blessing in your relationships :hug: :ily:
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Thank you very much :) And SbeardsMmiller thanks you 2 :) He is my honey and I cant wait to meet in person.
 
I'm a hearing guy dating a deaf girl, and the biggest advice I have for you is to have patience, both of you. I took a college ASL class last fall, and I'm improving vastly, but I still have a long way to go. My girlfriend is very patient with me and my slow receptive skills (learning to read sign is a lot more work than learning the signs yourself); we both know there will be miscommunications, and take the time to make sure we are understanding each other properly. It takes some work, but when you really care for the person, you don't mind it.

As far as learning sign language, you can usually find a class at most colleges and universities; see if you can audit the course. Also, Deaf community centers and some churches offer sign language classes. But, to get you started right away, visit this website to see signs in action.
 
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