MsGubbiGubbi
Member
- Joined
- Nov 24, 2014
- Messages
- 40
- Reaction score
- 20
I am a Deaf user who lives in Finland. My situation is a little complicated but I will do my best to explain it.
About ten years ago, I met somebody online. We fell in love. We got married. He lived in Finland. I lived in Australia. And we had to make a choice - to live in Finland or live in Australia. At that time I had approximately 10% of hearing in left ear and none in my right (injury sustained from rape/assault years earlier).
In 2004, what was left of my hearing was gone. I was Deaf in both ears. My husband couldn't stand it and filed for divorce. Shortly before that, I had applied for citizenship of Finland - which I got, as the audiologise was adamant that I was not to tell the government that I could no longer hear. She was an evil woman in every sense of the word, but that is for another time.
It is now 2020. My ex-husband and I are now officially "ex" in that the divorce papers arrived last week. Quarantine is full lock-down here in Finland. My family in Australia keep begging me to "come back home" but as a citizen of Finland, I am home. I am also completely isolated, in that I have no friends here. No friends, no family, no community.
I need friends. And I do not trust strangers after having had so many doors slammed in my face from neighbours in emergency. Here in Finland, the hearing world believe we in the Deaf world carry some contagious disease which could strike them at any second. Nobody here talks to me. I was lucky on one day last year when I saw a woman signing to two women in a checkout on the other side of town. My heart almost exploded from happy. When I got through checkout, I saw her and the two people she was with at the ATM. I took a risk and approached them... and I asked them if they live local. She replied that she was interpreter to the two people with her. One man was Deaf/blind and used Tactile signing. The woman was Deaf. And for the first time in almost ten years, I was so happy that I cried. We talked a little bit and then they were on their way and I walked home with my groceries, unable to take the smile off my face.
The only other time I had such a shock to smile was when I was on a bus to home (from the store, at a new address where I had moved) and a woman with a baby was on the bus. The baby was asleep. As I have grown accustomed to doing, I ignored her and all around me. She tapped my shoulder. I frowned, wondering what law book of social world I had broken this time. But the woman was smiling. She signed very slow to me. "Are you Deaf?" My eyes almost bugged out of my head. I smiled and signed back at her "Yes." Slowly (she was just learning sign language) she told me that her baby was Deaf. She was hearing and was learning sign language so that when her baby learns, she knows how to sign just like he will. As stupid as it might seem, tears started streaming down my face. I could not stop smiling. I was so HAPPY for the baby to have such a wonderful mother, as every hearing mother I have ever encountered would rather try to force their child to be like them and to hear, regardless of the cost to the baby. It was not until after she left the bus (and I was still smiling) that I realised I would be most unlikely to see her again.
So that was a year ago. And I am now sitting at home during Koronavirus quarantine quite bored, alone, nobody to talk to and unable to invite anybody over even if I did have friends here in Finland. Yesterday as I sat on my glassed in balcony - watching people break quarantine laws and gather in crowds on the pavement to have a chat - I remembered "chat rooms" - and here I am, wondering if anybody here would be interested to say hi and give me somebody to talk to each day. I am a good listener if you want to vent, want to cheer any happy news, want to just chat.
I would love to get to know a few people
About ten years ago, I met somebody online. We fell in love. We got married. He lived in Finland. I lived in Australia. And we had to make a choice - to live in Finland or live in Australia. At that time I had approximately 10% of hearing in left ear and none in my right (injury sustained from rape/assault years earlier).
In 2004, what was left of my hearing was gone. I was Deaf in both ears. My husband couldn't stand it and filed for divorce. Shortly before that, I had applied for citizenship of Finland - which I got, as the audiologise was adamant that I was not to tell the government that I could no longer hear. She was an evil woman in every sense of the word, but that is for another time.
It is now 2020. My ex-husband and I are now officially "ex" in that the divorce papers arrived last week. Quarantine is full lock-down here in Finland. My family in Australia keep begging me to "come back home" but as a citizen of Finland, I am home. I am also completely isolated, in that I have no friends here. No friends, no family, no community.
I need friends. And I do not trust strangers after having had so many doors slammed in my face from neighbours in emergency. Here in Finland, the hearing world believe we in the Deaf world carry some contagious disease which could strike them at any second. Nobody here talks to me. I was lucky on one day last year when I saw a woman signing to two women in a checkout on the other side of town. My heart almost exploded from happy. When I got through checkout, I saw her and the two people she was with at the ATM. I took a risk and approached them... and I asked them if they live local. She replied that she was interpreter to the two people with her. One man was Deaf/blind and used Tactile signing. The woman was Deaf. And for the first time in almost ten years, I was so happy that I cried. We talked a little bit and then they were on their way and I walked home with my groceries, unable to take the smile off my face.
The only other time I had such a shock to smile was when I was on a bus to home (from the store, at a new address where I had moved) and a woman with a baby was on the bus. The baby was asleep. As I have grown accustomed to doing, I ignored her and all around me. She tapped my shoulder. I frowned, wondering what law book of social world I had broken this time. But the woman was smiling. She signed very slow to me. "Are you Deaf?" My eyes almost bugged out of my head. I smiled and signed back at her "Yes." Slowly (she was just learning sign language) she told me that her baby was Deaf. She was hearing and was learning sign language so that when her baby learns, she knows how to sign just like he will. As stupid as it might seem, tears started streaming down my face. I could not stop smiling. I was so HAPPY for the baby to have such a wonderful mother, as every hearing mother I have ever encountered would rather try to force their child to be like them and to hear, regardless of the cost to the baby. It was not until after she left the bus (and I was still smiling) that I realised I would be most unlikely to see her again.
So that was a year ago. And I am now sitting at home during Koronavirus quarantine quite bored, alone, nobody to talk to and unable to invite anybody over even if I did have friends here in Finland. Yesterday as I sat on my glassed in balcony - watching people break quarantine laws and gather in crowds on the pavement to have a chat - I remembered "chat rooms" - and here I am, wondering if anybody here would be interested to say hi and give me somebody to talk to each day. I am a good listener if you want to vent, want to cheer any happy news, want to just chat.
I would love to get to know a few people
