Bad News:

Sharky99

Active Member
Cheri.. I'm sure ya will be able to see your dad walk without any assistance but do help him with his walking and ensure he can do it well enough without falling down and hurting himself... but I think he will be very determined to walk good enough... keep it up and in no time ya will see your dad waltzing around.. lol
 

Cheri

Prayers for my dad.
Premium Member
Update:

Every-time when a doctor comes in it dampens our hope. they always so negative, I try my hardest to not show how much that affects me but it really does. they really don't know the extent to how much my dad can improve and how much he can't, it is really all up to the brain. I tell my mom all the time don't let the doctors get you down, they don't know anything! Every one of them had a different vision to tell us. While it's true that stroke can do so much damage to the brain, but there's a way to work around the "damage" of the brain. We don't know how long my dad's rehabilitation will take, but he will continue with rehabilitation as long improve continues and nobody can take that away from my dad not even the doctors, even if it takes years or months.

The other day my dad lift his one bad leg up in the air (the paralyzed side) While they tell us before that he never will have movement there. Even if his one side is still useless but it is improving. (small baby steps) He does have feeling in his right side but his brain hasn't been able to tell it to move yet. You know what I'm saying?

Somebody told me once to never stop rehabilitation for brain injured patients, keep going even if it takes 10 years. I'm like 10 years?? :eek: okay.

His speech improves daily. Sometimes when speaking the aphasia he has, the words comes out gibberish. My dad also laughs when somebody says something funny. :lol: Sometimes he use sign language "no" "ily" "yes" My mom spends most of ever day there, and she has to make sure that dad keep receiving therapies and she has, I love my mom! :)

Oh and the other day my dad drew a real nice picture, a picture of a river with some trees, and a mountain. It was beautiful! (of course with help)

They are moving my dad to a nursing home facility on Jan 15th, but my mom wants to do as much rehabilitation for dad because dad was upset when he was told by mom that he will be moving to a nursing home facility, he thinks we have gave up on him, but we haven't and we won't. ;)
 
R

rockdrummer

Guest
Hang tough Cheri. Don't let the Doctors get you down because at the end of the day it is only their opinions. I wish all the best for your father and you and your family. :hug:
 

Mrs Bucket

New Member
Doctors are trained for almost over a decade to say what is wrong with the human body and are never trained enough for the bed-side sensitive approach.

Hang in there and it is your father's willpower that is the truth & testament to his living power.
 

Reba

Retired Terp
Premium Member
Every-time when a doctor comes in it dampens our hope. they always so negative, I try my hardest to not show how much that affects me but it really does. they really don't know the extent to how much my dad can improve and how much he can't, it is really all up to the brain. I tell my mom all the time don't let the doctors get you down, they don't know anything! Every one of them had a different vision to tell us. While it's true that stroke can do so much damage to the brain, but there's a way to work around the "damage" of the brain. We don't know how long my dad's rehabilitation will take, but he will continue with rehabilitation as long improve continues and nobody can take that away from my dad not even the doctors, even if it takes years or months.

The other day my dad lift his one bad leg up in the air (the paralyzed side) While they tell us before that he never will have movement there. Even if his one side is still useless but it is improving. (small baby steps) He does have feeling in his right side but his brain hasn't been able to tell it to move yet. You know what I'm saying?

Somebody told me once to never stop rehabilitation for brain injured patients, keep going even if it takes 10 years. I'm like 10 years?? :eek: okay.

His speech improves daily. Sometimes when speaking the aphasia he has, the words comes out gibberish. My dad also laughs when somebody says something funny. :lol: Sometimes he use sign language "no" "ily" "yes" My mom spends most of ever day there, and she has to make sure that dad keep receiving therapies and she has, I love my mom! :)

Oh and the other day my dad drew a real nice picture, a picture of a river with some trees, and a mountain. It was beautiful! (of course with help)

They are moving my dad to a nursing home facility on Jan 15th, but my mom wants to do as much rehabilitation for dad because dad was upset when he was told by mom that he will be moving to a nursing home facility, he thinks we have gave up on him, but we haven't and we won't. ;)
It's a slow struggle but if you look back to your dad's first week in the hospital after his stroke, you can see how far he has come.

Sure, brain damage is brain damage but the good news is, other parts of the brain can be strengthened, and muscles can learn new tasks thru repetition.

Doctors view people as patients who need to be "cured." Anything short of that is, to them, a "failure." That's the way doctors see it, NOT the way families see it.

Try to get more opinions from the therapists themselves. They actually work with your dad and can see his true progress.

I think one of the problems for your dad is the term "nursing home." His generation (and mine) think of nursing homes as a place where hopeless people are sent to be comfortable until they die. That's not always true now. In fact, they're usually not called "nursing homes" now. They're trying to get away from that image of a warehouse for dying people. It might help if your dad can be visited by a representative of the facility who can encourage your dad to understand that he's not being sent to the old-style "nursing home". If your dad is going to a place with an active rehabilitation program, then it's not the olden nursing home where people just lay around all day.
 

~SG~

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
He does have poor balance, he has trouble with balancing, we would have to hold him to keep him from falling over, he needs a lot of practice with improving balance.

It will take a while for him to learn to improving balancing. As it takes one step at a time, and at the same time your dad is relearning all the things again.


Every-time when a doctor comes in it dampens our hope. they always so negative, I try my hardest to not show how much that affects me but it really does. they really don't know the extent to how much my dad can improve and how much he can't, it is really all up to the brain. I tell my mom all the time don't let the doctors get you down, they don't know anything! Every one of them had a different vision to tell us. While it's true that stroke can do so much damage to the brain, but there's a way to work around the "damage" of the brain. We don't know how long my dad's rehabilitation will take, but he will continue with rehabilitation as long improve continues and nobody can take that away from my dad not even the doctors, even if it takes years or months.

The other day my dad lift his one bad leg up in the air (the paralyzed side) While they tell us before that he never will have movement there. Even if his one side is still useless but it is improving. (small baby steps) He does have feeling in his right side but his brain hasn't been able to tell it to move yet. You know what I'm saying?

Somebody told me once to never stop rehabilitation for brain injured patients, keep going even if it takes 10 years. I'm like 10 years?? :eek: okay.

His speech improves daily. Sometimes when speaking the aphasia he has, the words comes out gibberish. My dad also laughs when somebody says something funny. :lol: Sometimes he use sign language "no" "ily" "yes" My mom spends most of ever day there, and she has to make sure that dad keep receiving therapies and she has, I love my mom! :)

Oh and the other day my dad drew a real nice picture, a picture of a river with some trees, and a mountain. It was beautiful! (of course with help)

They are moving my dad to a nursing home facility on Jan 15th, but my mom wants to do as much rehabilitation for dad because dad was upset when he was told by mom that he will be moving to a nursing home facility, he thinks we have gave up on him, but we haven't and we won't. ;)

Do keep the rehabilitation going and having great supports of family and friends around him would helps, and it will take years and it will be tough road for your dad, it can be frustrating for him, when he's trying to say something or trying to do something.

That's great your dad drew a real nice picture.

Hang in there.
 

Cheri

Prayers for my dad.
Premium Member
It's a slow struggle but if you look back to your dad's first week in the hospital after his stroke, you can see how far he has come.
He has came a long way....

The first week in the hospital he was in the critical care unit on a ventilator he was non responsive. He was also on tracheotomy. After removing the ventilator, the only word he knew was "yes" when doctors had asked him questions like for an example "Are you a female?" he would answered "yes" and when he tried to talk it was usually mumbled.

Then when weeks has passed by with speech/language therapy and physical therapy, his speech was improving he knew much more words than just "yes",

He started rehabilitation in November, off and on because of his health condition needs to be stable before rehab when his condition was stable and is ready to head back to rehabilitation the doctors kept delaying on moving him back, we fought and fought for him to be back in rehabilitation. We saw so much changing and improvements when he's in rehab without rehab he falls back to no hope to recovery. We have to keep him focused on the same thing daily or otherwise he won't move forward. We tell him every day who we are, who's his family, that's the only way he "gets it" by repeating the same thing over and over. :)
 

Jiro

If You Know What I Mean
Premium Member
Every-time when a doctor comes in it dampens our hope. they always so negative, I try my hardest to not show how much that affects me but it really does. they really don't know the extent to how much my dad can improve and how much he can't, it is really all up to the brain. I tell my mom all the time don't let the doctors get you down, they don't know anything! Every one of them had a different vision to tell us. While it's true that stroke can do so much damage to the brain, but there's a way to work around the "damage" of the brain. We don't know how long my dad's rehabilitation will take, but he will continue with rehabilitation as long improve continues and nobody can take that away from my dad not even the doctors, even if it takes years or months.

The other day my dad lift his one bad leg up in the air (the paralyzed side) While they tell us before that he never will have movement there. Even if his one side is still useless but it is improving. (small baby steps) He does have feeling in his right side but his brain hasn't been able to tell it to move yet. You know what I'm saying?

Somebody told me once to never stop rehabilitation for brain injured patients, keep going even if it takes 10 years. I'm like 10 years?? :eek: okay.

His speech improves daily. Sometimes when speaking the aphasia he has, the words comes out gibberish. My dad also laughs when somebody says something funny. :lol: Sometimes he use sign language "no" "ily" "yes" My mom spends most of ever day there, and she has to make sure that dad keep receiving therapies and she has, I love my mom! :)

Oh and the other day my dad drew a real nice picture, a picture of a river with some trees, and a mountain. It was beautiful! (of course with help)

doctors... always a naysayer. these days - it's safer to be a naysayer than an optimist because of lawsuit issue. :roll:

It's good that your dad is moving to a better facility... with positive atmosphere and hope.

They are moving my dad to a nursing home facility on Jan 15th, but my mom wants to do as much rehabilitation for dad because dad was upset when he was told by mom that he will be moving to a nursing home facility, he thinks we have gave up on him, but we haven't and we won't. ;)

:lol: of course! i'm not surprised. "Nursing Home" is always bad to hear especially for old fart. It's better to give it a different name like... A Gym for Betterment :lol:
 

Rio

Brady lady
Premium Member
Wirelessly posted (Mozilla/5.0 (Danger hiptop 3.4; U; rv:1.7.12) Gecko/20050920)

Cheri, I can imagine the frustration the doctors put you and your family through. Just believe in the power of prayer, the ultimate healer and have faith. I will keep praying for him.
 

sara1981

Well-Known Member
Every-time when a doctor comes in it dampens our hope. they always so negative, I try my hardest to not show how much that affects me but it really does. they really don't know the extent to how much my dad can improve and how much he can't, it is really all up to the brain. I tell my mom all the time don't let the doctors get you down, they don't know anything! Every one of them had a different vision to tell us. While it's true that stroke can do so much damage to the brain, but there's a way to work around the "damage" of the brain. We don't know how long my dad's rehabilitation will take, but he will continue with rehabilitation as long improve continues and nobody can take that away from my dad not even the doctors, even if it takes years or months.

The other day my dad lift his one bad leg up in the air (the paralyzed side) While they tell us before that he never will have movement there. Even if his one side is still useless but it is improving. (small baby steps) He does have feeling in his right side but his brain hasn't been able to tell it to move yet. You know what I'm saying?

Somebody told me once to never stop rehabilitation for brain injured patients, keep going even if it takes 10 years. I'm like 10 years?? :eek: okay.

His speech improves daily. Sometimes when speaking the aphasia he has, the words comes out gibberish. My dad also laughs when somebody says something funny. :lol: Sometimes he use sign language "no" "ily" "yes" My mom spends most of ever day there, and she has to make sure that dad keep receiving therapies and she has, I love my mom! :)

Oh and the other day my dad drew a real nice picture, a picture of a river with some trees, and a mountain. It was beautiful! (of course with help)

They are moving my dad to a nursing home facility on Jan 15th, but my mom wants to do as much rehabilitation for dad because dad was upset when he was told by mom that he will be moving to a nursing home facility, he thinks we have gave up on him, but we haven't and we won't. ;)

hang there,cheri

mostly spouse or family wanted makes decision for stroke patient to move nursing home have rehab there..

my late grandma went rehab after hospital they nursing home till she died i dont push her but my dad cant care my grandma but nobody told me about my grandma moves to nursing home and didnt got rehab at nursing home but still in bed and also wheelchair.

mostly people must trust doctor for move to rehab in hospital or nursing home.

you must listen to your dad's doctor but you cant push yourself but you must listen and obey but you cant judge yourself i know about your dad ok?
 

Cheri

Prayers for my dad.
Premium Member
you must listen to your dad's doctor but you cant push yourself but you must listen and obey but you cant judge yourself i know about your dad ok?

Doctors are human beings, ordinary men and women. They can/do make mistakes, errors in judgment. I've met a family who's love ones had a stroke and was on life support, they were told that their brother had a slim chance of surviving, they didn't bothered to go for a second opinion, the doctor suggested that the family should pull the plug on the life support, they did not want to then several days later their brother woke up from coma and start breathing on his own. Now if they were to pulled the plug without giving their brother a chance, he would had lost his life. There is always hope. :)
 

jazzy

New Member
I am sorry, Cheri about your dad. I did not want to say anything or negative about it but I know it will be long road ahead of him. My friend shocked me before she passed away that her dad was still living in nursing home for more than 25 years after he had a stroke. Understanding it was his second stroke and he refused to work to relearn how to take care of himself. I was hoping your dad was not alike him and will work hard to relearn how to walk and take care of himself. It hurts. I feel for you. Hanging there and keep hope alive and live for the best.
 

sara1981

Well-Known Member
I am sorry, Cheri about your dad. I did not want to say anything or negative about it but I know it will be long road ahead of him. My friend shocked me before she passed away that her dad was still living in nursing home for more than 25 years after he had a stroke. Understanding it was his second stroke and he refused to work to relearn how to take care of himself. I was hoping your dad was not alike him and will work hard to relearn how to walk and take care of himself. It hurts. I feel for you. Hanging there and keep hope alive and live for the best.

i agreed!! Cheri had hard time on dad also and i told that on post but dont push to doctor and include self..

my late grandma also stroke but she still in bed and wheelchair but she dont walk very well but she very weak..

i want give tips to cheri and she MUST listen to doctor to says on her dad's stroke and she must accept but i accept on my grandma's stroke im learn from my dad says i cant judge myself..
 

Peachy Lady

New Member
Hello Cheri, I'm so glad and thankful that you have never given up on your dad. He has you as his support and you know your dad very well. You know he really wants to improve. After reading Reba's post that the nursing homes now have place where the patients could do therapy/excercises so that they won't lay in bed all the time, I felt much better. I originally thought that nursing home means the last stop before they die as they just lie in beds. Glad it's not the case today...thank goodness:) For as long as your dad has you and the rest of your family rooting for him, there is hope. God bless you!!!
 
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