Any hard-of-hearing ppl raised in the hearing world?

mncopeland1

New Member
I have found a lot of commonalities with those that have posted before me.

Like some of you, I didn't start talking til late, about 3ish. I was raised in the hearing world and it was hell. I was born with one of my ears completely blocked off, the skin just grew right over where I should have a hole in my ear. I was more prone to ear infections in my hearing ear because of the pressure of sleeping on the only good ear I had and it would be quite painful. I suppose my childhood was a bit worse because I not only was HoH but I also was born with many medical problems that deal with my back and my neck.

I went through my fair share of bullying, and classrooms were horrible with students that would sit right behind me and talk or chew like cows so I couldn't hear what the teacher was saying. Many cases, I had to ask to be moved to the front seat just to hear and even that didn't help with teachers that mumbled or had a terrible accent.

I was supposed to have speech therapy and learn ASL as a child, but sadly that did not happen and at times I am still angry at my mother for not having me take therapy. I run my words together so often that sometimes I don't even know what I was trying to say. I have a hard time processing my thoughts and using the right words. In many cases, someone will say, "You said this...." and I will have repeat myself more clearly.

I hate loud areas. Clubs, parties, etc. I have gotten to the point where I just stand there and nod my head if I have no idea what is being said. And I hate when someone just comes up and starts talking because I miss the beginning of what they are saying. It's especially hard when I have to move to the opposite side of them because I can't hear out of my right ear, and so I have to ask them to repeat it after moving. It really upsets me that when I have asked someone to repeat something and it takes a couple tries they automatically say, "Nevermind, it's not important."

A hard place for me to be is at a concert and that is because the noise level and the bass hurt my head so much that I have cried on two occasions. It feels like my ears are bleeding from all that pressure. It situations like this and really loud places, I excuse myself, going outside and usually I have a friend that will follow or that is already outside so it's nice.

When in that situation where you can't hear what's going on in a conversation, I would stand in middle of your friends to be able to hear or suggest that you move to place where it is easier to hear. There really is no solution to engaging yourself in a conversation if you can't hear anything that is going on. :/
 

dogmom

Well-Known Member
:wave:mncopeland1,

yes I do think some of us on this thread here have recently found some additional common things. I've been on this board for a few years but we seem to be getting more and more people with potentially audio processing issues coming on.

I was also bullied badly physically and emotionally in elementary school and through about 8th grade. This is common for d/Deaf students also as many deaf on here will discuss.
I was in "pull-out" Special Ed and went to a separate building with a bunch of other kids of all different needs and abilities. But it was a place of mystery to the other kids and the "mainstream" kids called me names and did other things. I was also a very shy child and I was socially and emotionally behind. I was scared all the time in 8th grade when you really get vast differences in size and strength in kids of the same chronological age, with the hormones and growth spurts. I didn't understand things a lot of the other kids my age understood and refused to play volleyball in my 8th grade gym unit on that sport because I really had no clue what to do in it and was physically generally awkward. My intense physical fear during any kind of required team or organized sport made my clumsiness worse and so it was just a vicious cycle of inability...refused to play volleyball for some time and sat and drew horses instead. Got in trouble for refusing to participate in class. No one ever tried to determine what was going on and I honestly would not have been able to describe with words how exactly I was lost or what I didn't understand. I was also in a "special needs" gym class for a while and that was another disaster.

It used to be that many things were actually too loud. On the rare chance I would have had the opportunity to go to a club or party <which wasn't something that really interested me anyway and I don't like alcohol> - the venue would be too loud. Other things I misheard or just didn't answer the question correctly or didn't understand.
Now most things are not too loud at all and I say "what" all the time.

Ryssie and Chelsea, those are links I like, I've seen them before. I'm glad you posted them, Ryssie-

:)
 

Stakie

New Member
I'm HoH and I can really relate. I get nervous and awkward when I am in a group situation. find myself confused a lot of the time because I can't get the full conversation. Most don't really realize how hard it is for me to follow along. I find myself nodding and smiling a lot, as if I knew what was being said. Which isn't always a good idea mind you.
 

Chuck

New Member
Yup and it sucks. But what can I do about it? I just try to make the best of every situation and try not to think negative and work on what I want from life.
 

Clau

New Member
Hi, I am HOH, and i relate to some of your experiences. My native language is Spanish, and i grew up in the hearing world. i were born three months earlier, and the cause of my loss it's difficult to determinate. i function pretty well in the spanish hearing world, my only problem it's about going out and group situations, i have friends, but i still feel alone. I mean, it's like, it's daytime and we are having a good time chatting somewhere..and now it's nightime and someone suggest to go to a pub or somewhere with loud music, i die there. Usually or i say i cant go (i have exam trm, or whatever) and it's even more frustrating when i stay, and people think im an idiot because im smiling and in silence all the time.

i dont like to go out in this kind of enviroments, because it's very hard for me to deal with the depressive feeling of realizing the conecctions i miss, i mean, people goes out to have fun, socialize and meet new people, often i feel more streessed than having fun, the socializing part does not exist for me.

So, in my spanish world, i dont feel isolated from the hearing world, but from social life.

In English the story it's different...speak by phone somtimes it's easy and sometimes it's an struggle. no longer i can follow the TV. no mention go out to nightclubs. I live in Australia, and picking up the different accents..well it's not hard, but Some accents are easiest than others.

my second problem it's related to my speech. In spanish there's not much problem, excepting the my voice has a very low tone. Reason why i hate speaking in public. And also, i notice people just ignore me.(in a group work.)
In English....OMG i dont know how many times a day people tells me: "Sorry? Pardon? Excuse me? Say again? that really kills me.

I have done speech therapy in Spanish. need to do it in English, but i have no income for now.

I was reading some post, and i saw something about HOH being in mainstream schools..well i went to a mainstream school, and i have never met anyone deaf or HOH, i went to Uni.. but i had, a hard time trying to figure out what to study, and always felt that i have been looking for something. Never knew what. Actually, i Still dont know what im searching, i chaNged my degree three times, went overseas to Au, then south America...anyway, i mentioned this because i consider that if i been in touch with deaf or HOH, maybe i wouldnt be so lost.

i really think that mainstramed HOH, should be exposed to another HOH, or deaf kids, in part for them to develop Social skills, and in part to realise they are not the only ones and to share experiences with alike people.

Coming to ASL or Auslan or BSL, for HOH, i really think that's a personal choice, a HOH, needs to see what works better for him/her. (i dont believe some Deaf community guys agree with me) But after all, we are all (incluiding hearing people) trying to live in the world and the best way we can.
 

caz12

New Member
i was born hearing when i went deaf my mother made no effort to learn any sign,i was and still am treated second class within that side of family,i know of others in same position i dont know why people be like this..that aside i think you got be balanced as polotics of these things i get jaded with it all
 

MangaReader

Active Member
I grew up in the hearing world, and nobody believed that I had a hearing problem for the longest time. They thought that I just wasn't paying attention when I missed things and I would get in trouble in class for not 'paying attention'. I have a speech problem from not being able to hear myself talk, and I would get frustrated like crazy when people didn't understand me or I didn't understand them.

Now that I know that I wasn't just crazy, it is both a relief and a curse. I feel more isolated from the hearing world since my hearing is getting worse and worse, but I can explain to people why I'm not able to always fully understand them.

Background noise is the bane of my existance. Resturants, loud classrooms, rooms with air conditioning blowing, anything like that and I can't hear anything at all. It's hard to avoid these when everybody that I know is hearing, so I kind of sit there like a lump because I miss everything.

I have to use captions on the tv, which drives my family crazy. I can't use them when I'm watching with other people, and since having me go 'what did he just say?' every other second gets annoying I normally go and find other things to do when other people are watching television.

I can't use a hearing aid, so I rely on lipreading some, but at the end of the day my head is always pounding from all the efforts of living in a hearing world. Sometimes I wish that I could always be around deaf people, but I don't know much sign and I'm too much of a hearie, even if I can't always hear. I don't really know which world I belong in now.

Sorry I'm late to this thread, just found it and read through it today.

This part in bold pisses me off beyond words. Weezer can't use captions because Weezer's family can't accept that Weezer is deaf/HoH and needs captions?!?! It is bad enough that the hearing world is harsh to the deaf/HoH, let alone a family where it's a place we should feel accepted in. People take their hearing for granted that they don't understand little things that help us that goes a long ways.
 

90sWizKid

Member
I'm HOH and am in the hearing world. I don't know anyone who is Deaf or HOH in real life. I do know some ASL but the only reason I know it is because I work with children with Autism who are non-verbal...

I wasn't always HOH, I got sick when I was in 3rd grade and it effected my hearing and it is gradually getting worse because of it...it is frustrating sometimes, mainly because my friends/family forget that I am HOH because I wear hearing aids most of the time but lets face it, hearing aids aren't miracle workers, I still have to ask people to repeat themselves sometimes...
 
I'm HOH been raised in the hearing world, went to mainstream and didn't know any d/D/HH people, I still don't (I mean in person, online I know a few). Sometimes my parents forget that I can't hear them all the time.
I can't see out of my right eye either (partly blind) and my door is on the right. Sometimes when my parents walk in I can't hear/see them until they tap me, which always frightens me. My mom is now realizing that if I don't respond right away after she calls me, she flashes the lights on/off to get my attention. My dad? He always asks why I jump in fright when he taps me.
 

Mewtilation

New Member
Don't feel bad.... I was born Deaf and a lot of my family still can't quite get that to sink through.... :roll: It is rather amusing though.... :laugh2: When they're talking away and I'm watching TV and my mother tells them "Hey idiot she can't hear you, you need to get her attention and get her to look at you." Dumb a$$es... :roll: I have some Deaf family, but not many... My family is a piece of work to say the least... *sigh* I never attended a Deaf school, I attended and graduated public school. I was never given hearing aids as a child either. I developed my oral skills through my fathers overbearing force ( You have NO idea ) to speak "acceptably" and vocal rehab appointments nearly daily, leaving me with a voice that is nearly undetectable relating to being Deaf. (Still have that Romanian accent though dammit!) If I said something "Deaf-ish" he would make me resay it again and again until it came out "correct" and then I had to say it a few times like that. While I am thankful for my oral skills, and they have enabled me to work in the field that I do... I have been in both worlds. This is why I do not advocate for oral only or ASL only. I do believe both are helpful, but each decision is in the end left up to that person. I don't judge people as a group whether Deaf, HOH or hearing.... To each their own, whatever decision you choose. However, my past experiences probably explains why I don't wear my C.I. or speak usually unless I'm at work or around someone who doesn't sign. *shrug* So, I feel your pain... I promise. :P
 

Hockey94

Member
I was raised in a hearing world as well, but I'd say I also had spent some time with HOH kids but mostly hearing. I used to be in a HOH program when I was young and attended a Cochlear implant camp for 5 years for one week in the summer. There I have met two friends who are the same age as me who wears cochlear implants.

What frustrated me the most was.. I felt like I was being controlled by the school and people who were supposed to work with me. I even had one lady telling me I shouldn't be watching sign language in class when I should be listening (I have a friend who is HOH and we were in the same class). She wanted me to be oral, and I felt quite upset as I felt like I never had a choice.

I haven't had a translator since grade six, and my mom tried so hard to get the school to find a translator again but it wasn't a few years later after my mom passed away that I learned the harsh truth from my old translator.

She told me that even when I was a kid, my mom fought to get me a translator, and when my old translator met me, she told me certain things about my personality etc.

I was shocked... to learn that and it has made me dislike that school even more.

Ever since grade 6, I had to adapt and adjust to focus on my classes, as I realized how useful lip-reading is in the hearing world.

Whenever someone speaks to me, I always look at their mouths out of habit, and I rely on lip-reading and listening at the same time to understand most people.

I think I am in a fortunate situation as in high school, I am friends with four HOH people in the same grade as me, but I was the only one to be in the advanced classes though.

As for family, my dad knows how to sign a little bit. He makes me laugh whenever he tries to think of the sign or attempts at trying to finger spelling it. Sometimes if I don't have my cochlear implants on, I just read his lips and try figure out what he wants.

My brother and sister don't really know how but they do know yes or no. And for closed captioning, my family never has a problem with it. Though my sister has it off in her room, so whenever I use her t.v, I put CC on and turn it off when I'm done.

For graduation last year, my HOH friend and a hearing friend signed a song in sign language to my whole Graduation class and at the end, you could hear a lot of cheering and appreciation for what they did.

Right now, I am in school still, taking a Science subject that I need for university, and my HOH friend, her translator and I are doing a "sign club" in the high school, and we have around 8 people learning how to communicate using sign language.

I used to be embarrassed of my disability to be honest, but now I try be proud of it, and let people know I have trouble hearing.

To be honest, in Foods class one time, my battery died in my cochlear implant, and my aide told the group I was unable to hear, and so we managed to communicate by them pointing at things like cleaning the dishes or showing me on the paper what ingredient I should get. It was very amusing haha.

So overall, I hope to someday help make school a better place for HOH kids, as what I went through...

I even had a comment once in my IPP report, where it was a comment for the teacher of a few suggestions and one of the suggestions to my aide was....

"Write any social events or parties that the class talks about so she does not feel left out".

I was hurt. Maybe there is a reason why I choose not to be as social like the others? Every HOH person is different, and have their own reasons. I wasn't as social because I was trying to focus on the teacher and not be distracted by the chatter. What if I didn't care for those things?

Yeah, I really do not like my school system.
 
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