Am I Gonna Be Alone Forever?

Muse

Active Member
well i've been through a lot growing up so.....maybe i should try signing up for speed dating events hosted in my city and try to talk to some ladies. i dont think they'll like me but it's still an effort regardless. i remember when i was a teenager i would be chatting up with girls on msn messenger a lot and it was very easy to flirt and make them laugh and they would like me easily

Man, I remember those days on IM! I thought I was the only one nostalgic for them but I'm glad to know I'm not alone. I used AIM just before it died out a few years ago and still miss it.


Try LINE app (for both android and iOS)- it might have specific groups or ways to meet up. Most of the older Messenger apps aren't used much anymore (AIM, MSN/Live, Yahoo, ICQ). Maybe Whatsapp...don't really know what that one is as I don't use it.

Thanks for the tip. I didn't know about LINE. And they even have a desktop client too!
 

DeafDucky

Well-Known Member
Thanks for the tip. I didn't know about LINE. And they even have a desktop client too!

Oh I forgot about the desktop client one! Never got around to installing that one I don't think... KiK is the one I think I installed- that's another chat/IM app found on all three platforms. I haven't used that one in a while. Only use LINE for the game I play in.
 

whatislife

Active Member
i mean, i don't think asl is for me 'cause im still learning how to speak smoothly and everything. I mean, barrier is a part of my life I guess and I have to accept that.
 

Mieke

Belgian ASL noob
One has nothing to do with the other, I'm sure you can pick up sign pretty fast and that will at least be one less barrier to worry about
 

whatdidyousay!

Well-Known Member
Have you tried taking up some kind of hobby or taking a class is learning a new hobby to met new people . You'll have something in common with them , you need to find ways to be around more people . This is the best way to improve your social skills which will break down barriers.
 

DeafDucky

Well-Known Member
i mean, i don't think asl is for me 'cause im still learning how to speak smoothly and everything. I mean, barrier is a part of my life I guess and I have to accept that.

Knowing/learning how to speak smoothly has nothing to do with ASL... I am one of those.."oral success" stories. My speech is, according to many, excellent- to the point that it IS detrimental to me because when a hearing person finds out I'm deaf... they don't believe me half the time...and the other half of the time forget.

So having ASL in my arsenal is a huge plus to me... I can get interpreters when needed (minus the interesting one I had at the last interview I had...), I have a family that I became a member of- one of my 'chosen' families- that I can more easily relax in even though I'm still ridiculously shy in deaf/ASL company.

Don't dismiss it totally.
 
i mean, i don't think asl is for me 'cause im still learning how to speak smoothly and everything. I mean, barrier is a part of my life I guess and I have to accept that.

I am wondering why you think you must wear a CI and why you must learn how to speak? Is that something you want? Or is that something someone is telling you to do? I ask because it sounds like you are doing things to meet someone's expectations. If it is what you want, then keep doing them, but I hope you're not thinking you cannot learn sign language because someone say so. You are an adult, and it is your complete decision as to how you want to communicate or if you want to wear the CI. Only you know what helps you and what makes you feel comfortable.

Yes, we all have face barriers regardless if we speak well or wear a CI. It helps to accept that there are barriers but that doesn't mean you cannot overcome them. It just means we have to work harder at it. It will be easier for some than others. I think you have to work on yourself from within because I think you feel you have to measure up to the hearing world to have a normal life. You aren't the only one needing to work on yourself. It seems that you're having a difficult time in your life right now. We all experience them.
 

whatislife

Active Member
well i work hard to meet society's expectations and needs so i basically dont want to be a disappointment to anyone. i used to overthink and get upset and angry a lot but im cool now. all i know is that im doing well at school right now so i think thats all that matters.
 
I know what you mean. It's people pleasing that leads to burn out by being upset and angry. I think you're doing great trying your best especially to socialize. Just enjoy those little moments you get to socialize and chat with a few people. I know the feeling. I read that when you are not looking is when love finds you.
 

MyleneSeizes

New Member
So uh a bit about me, I'm almost 30 and I never had a girlfriend and because of communication issues I never managed to kiss a girl. Yep, I live in a cold world and I'm pretty much used to being ignored and people pretend I don't exist.

Is there anything I can do, or should I just kill myself?

Thanks


I hope you won't actually serious about killing you self and that it was just a way to express how you feel.

My advice? Be happy. Women shouldn't be your priority. Love can be found in a lot of different places with different people. You might have to wait a while because of your disability, but it only means you're not going through all the bitches that aren't worth it.

I'm not deaf. I have epilepsy tho. I've been dumped so many times after I'd have a seizure! I wish I had never met those guys.

In conclusion, we all have to deal with something. Love will happen when you expect it the least. Seriously, that lame expression is true.

Good luck. I have no doubt in my mind you'll find the one. Just be open minded. She might not be your dream girl, but she'll be by your side at your worst and at your best.

Xoxo
 

Verashawn

New Member
So uh a bit about me, I'm almost 30 and I never had a girlfriend and because of communication issues I never managed to kiss a girl. Yep, I live in a cold world and I'm pretty much used to being ignored and people pretend I don't exist.

Is there anything I can do, or should I just kill myself?

Thanks
Hi friend
 

deafdyke

Well-Known Member
My advice? Be happy. Women shouldn't be your priority. Love can be found in a lot of different places with different people. You might have to wait a while because of your disability, but it only means you're not going through all the bitches that aren't worth it.



Xoxo
It's a great bitch screening tool....Just wish more people would take a chance thou....I think a lot of people are intimuated by dhh or other obvious issues.
 
You are most assuredly not alone in the "am I ever gonna find someone? I'm almost 30" department @whatislife You've no idea how much I can relate at the moment! So I'll you a bit about me...
I have had one serious relationship, which lasted less than a year. I loved my ex, but he ended up breaking my heart. He strung me along and lied to me, even when I did everything I could to be the supportive, loving girlfriend. It's been 5 years since our breakup and I'm still single. I turn 30 in December. So when I go on Facebook and see my friends (many of them younger than me) married and expecting babies, or having fun with their kids or significant others, it hurts like hell! I get the "don't give up, you're such a good person. You'll find someone" crap from well-meaning friends ad nauseum. I also have cerebral palsy and am in a wheelchair. Even though they'd probably never admit, I think guys are scared they'd have to be My nursemaid in a relationship, which is not the case.

Even being on this site is a bit strange sometimes, because I'm hearing. For some reason, I have a lifelong interest in deaf culture, but seeing how ASL is a struggle for me with the weakness of my hands sometimes, it is extremely hard to communicate with any deaf friends or partners, etc that I might meet. Not everyone can lip read (and I talk too fast anyway), and after a while, people get tired of writing things down.

So while that's probably more than you wanted to know about me, my point is, I can relate to the difficulty of wanting a relationship, but struggling to put myself out there.

And btw, I have been suicidal before myself, so if you are legitimately feeling that way, please seek professional help. I promise you, it's worth it.:)
 

deafdyke

Well-Known Member
You are most assuredly not alone in the "am I ever gonna find someone? I'm almost 30" department @whatislife You've no idea how much I can relate at the moment! So I'll you a bit about me...
I have had one serious relationship, which lasted less than a year. I loved my ex, but he ended up breaking my heart. He strung me along and lied to me, even when I did everything I could to be the supportive, loving girlfriend. It's been 5 years since our breakup and I'm still single. I turn 30 in December. So when I go on Facebook and see my friends (many of them younger than me) married and expecting babies, or having fun with their kids or significant others, it hurts like hell! I get the "don't give up, you're such a good person. You'll find someone" crap from well-meaning friends ad nauseum. I also have cerebral palsy and am in a wheelchair. Even though they'd probably never admit, I think guys are scared they'd have to be My nursemaid in a relationship, which is not the case.

Even being on this site is a bit strange sometimes, because I'm hearing. For some reason, I have a lifelong interest in deaf culture, but seeing how ASL is a struggle for me with the weakness of my hands sometimes, it is extremely hard to communicate with any deaf friends or partners, etc that I might meet. Not everyone can lip read (and I talk too fast anyway), and after a while, people get tired of writing things down.

So while that's probably more than you wanted to know about me, my point is, I can relate to the difficulty of wanting a relationship, but struggling to put myself out there.

And btw, I have been suicidal before myself, so if you are legitimately feeling that way, please seek professional help. I promise you, it's worth it.:)
OMG bittersweet I feel for you!!!! At least you reconized that the relationship was bad. Have you thought about trying to meet others with physical disabilties somehow? I know, I know.....but you might find other guys or girls who might be struggling. Social issues tend to be very common across the spectrum of disabilty, including high functioning people.
 
OMG bittersweet I feel for you!!!! At least you reconized that the relationship was bad. Have you thought about trying to meet others with physical disabilties somehow? I know, I know.....but you might find other guys or girls who might be struggling. Social issues tend to be very common across the spectrum of disabilty, including high functioning people.


@deafdyke Yes, I have. Unfortunately, the men who were also in wheelchairs that I tried to date weren't interested. One worked on my college radio station, and lamented one day on air (it was close to Valentines Day) about how nobody would date him. I had a crush on him, so I messaged him on Facebook and said I would totally date him. As is customary for me, he replied he only wanted to be friends with me. He's now a year into a relationship with an able bodied girl. The other guy in a chair I tried to go after (also crushed on him too) called me and talked to me for a bit. We decided to update our Facebook relationship status to say we were dating. This lasted less than 48 hours. His wheelchair basketball teammates laughed and made fun of him, so he decided to remove the status, as it embarrassed him. I found out later he was actually in a relationship at the time, and was lying to her as well. Sometime later, he married a girl who was in a wheelchair too. It didn't last, as she got sick of his crap and divorced him. He then had the audacity to ask me if I wanted a relationship with him! I turned him down flat!!

To make a long story short, both men left me in tears.
 

dereksbicycles

Active Member
I'm kind of in the same boat. I'm single and wondering whether someone will ever love me for the person I am. I wonder if I'll have to work harder and harder to be appreciated. Well, I'm 39 years old so if anyone wants to get to know me, great.
 
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