Advice please: son doesn't want to wear HAs

rivenoak said:
This is one of those situations where I think we've missed the boat by not keeping up with ASL. We're all at the level of a toddler, really. That's when he started talking and we signed less (3.5 years or so).

I wonder if he just doesn't have the expressive language to explain why he doesn't want to wear the HAs.

As far as I can tell, kids haven't ever said anything to him because he wears the HAs. I've gotten questions about why and they seem to easily accept a brief explanation. But, he is in a brand new school, with only one kid in the classroom he knows from preK, and of course is a solitaire.

Thank you all for your perspectives. It really helps. A lot.
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Can't believe that nobody has suggested that he might be starting to feel very self conscious about the fact that he's the ONLY kid in the school to have to wear hearing aids. I never got teased about the fact that I wore hearing aids (what kind of names would they have called me? Four ears? LOL) but I remember CLEARLY being super self conscenious about the fact that I was the ONLY kid in the universe who wore hearing aids. It really is too bad there's not a magnet or a regional dhh program where you are. That would be amazing.....And yes, I add to others who are saying that perhaps right now he needs ASL and Deaf ed......Also, I wouldn't worry abt the FM. The FM is reccomended as a kneejerk accomonadation, but a lot of kids can do well without it.
 
deafdyke said:
Can't believe that nobody has suggested that he might be starting to feel very self conscious about the fact that he's the ONLY kid in the school to have to wear hearing aids. I never got teased about the fact that I wore hearing aids (what kind of names would they have called me? Four ears? LOL) but I remember CLEARLY being super self conscenious about the fact that I was the ONLY kid in the universe who wore hearing aids. It really is too bad there's not a magnet or a regional dhh program where you are. That would be amazing.....And yes, I add to others who are saying that perhaps right now he needs ASL and Deaf ed......Also, I wouldn't worry abt the FM. The FM is reccomended as a kneejerk accomonadation, but a lot of kids can do well without it.
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I did say that , in #18 comment
"have you had the ear molds checked out , they could be too small and the would cause them to feed back. Is he being picked on for wearing HA, that would made a child feel uncomfortable being made to feel 'difference.' "
 
What every other deaf person here said. I agree.
 
rivenoak said:
DS is almost 6, hoh, and has just started Kindergarten.

It seems like every year we go through this: he refuses to wear his hearing aids. And now, he refuses to even consider putting the boots on to try the new FM system.

Right now, he will consent to wear the left HA all day. He might wear the right one for part of the day, but by the time school is over, it's out.

When he has an ear infection, he of course doesn't have to wear both. When it's really humid and he says his ear itches, he doesn't have to wear both.

We are extremely lenient about not wearing them in the evening on weekends at home.

But his favorite thing right now is to say he won't wear them, or one, is that "they're beeping so I can't wear them." Even when we know a fresh battery is in and shouldn't beep.

So, for kicks, I hung them outside my ears one afternoon for a few minutes & never heard this "beeping." I told him this the next time he offered that as his reason, and he looked sheepish like I'd caught him out.

He tests everyone and everything. It's in his nature as well as being a child. And, this is one thing in his life over which he can exert control. I know he respects his TOD, but he only sees her once a week. I wonder if some of this is trying to have control over his new K teacher.

We've never used punishment if he didn't wear the HAs, but I have been known to bribe him to keep them in all day.

I just don't know what to do at this point.

Part of me thinks, "Well, we're the adults. We say he has to wear them." But, it's not like we can staple them to his head. :eek3: Just kidding, for sure!

Part of me thinks, "Well, he's the one who has to wear them. If he doesn't want to, so what."

We have an appointment with the ENT and the audi today to make sure all is healthy w/ ears and HAs are functioning. We will also talk again about sound levels and recruitment.

Advice, stories, hints, kicks in the pants? :ty:
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Sounds like deja vu. My son used to sabotage the FM system so he wouldn't have to use it. He would hide the mic, take the batteries out and claim it was broken, etc. His left aid was always in his pocket. Asked him why he would not leave it in, he told me "Too much noise. Hurts." At that point in time, he was permitted to go without that HA. If he says he does better with one, it isn't up to me to second guess it. I can't hear through his ears and I can't experience what his brain is dealing with.
 
deafdyke said:
Can't believe that nobody has suggested that he might be starting to feel very self conscious about the fact that he's the ONLY kid in the school to have to wear hearing aids. I never got teased about the fact that I wore hearing aids (what kind of names would they have called me? Four ears? LOL) but I remember CLEARLY being super self conscenious about the fact that I was the ONLY kid in the universe who wore hearing aids. It really is too bad there's not a magnet or a regional dhh program where you are. That would be amazing.....And yes, I add to others who are saying that perhaps right now he needs ASL and Deaf ed......Also, I wouldn't worry abt the FM. The FM is reccomended as a kneejerk accomonadation, but a lot of kids can do well without it.
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Not at the age of 6, DD. And the pattern of refusal doesn't suggest that this is an issue with being self conscious. The kid is having a problem. Listen to him.
 
rivenoak said:
I hope you don't think we are forcing him through pain. If anything, we are very lax, I hope. I don't want to be one of "those" parents. :(

Ok, I will admit, one time I physically restrained his hands so he couldn't pull them out at the audi's for one test. He has been very uncooperative about testing and we just needed this one last one for the school district. I'm ashamed of it. :cry:

He has a mixed loss.

He sometimes hears "well" without them. In some situations, a person might not know he is HOH. In many other situations, it is more evident that he is not Hearing.

I think I posted his audiogram on another thread; I don't have it at hand. As of late Spring 2011, when we finally got the range of tests done in one fell swoop, there was no decrease in hearing. Possibly a slight increase due to new tubes having been put in.

He has less loss on the right; this is the side he doesn't like to wear. However, if he's not wearing the left one due to an infection, he will wear the right one.

And eventually, if we wait him out long enough--over weeks--he will usually agree to wear both for the school day.

I don't want to be defensive and don't mean to be. I don't post much, so you don't have much background. I will try to fill in if necessary. I don't always know the right terminology, either, so I will try to learn that, too.

If he only wants to wear one, I'm ok with that. We can change the IEP if the school has a problem with it being his choice.

I wish he would try the FM to see if it helps him hear his teacher. Last year in preschool, one of his classmates had more of a broadcast FM system, but my son has the direct teacher to boot kind. We won't know if he can benefit from it unless he'll wear a boot.

His first language was ASL. He speaks English now. But, from other things I'm noticing, we need to revisit the use of ASL.

:ty:
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Follow his lead.
 
rivenoak said:
Thank you for saying this; it helps me understand what DS might mean by "too loud."
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I just saw this. He is expressing the same thing my own son did. As he got older, we discovered what he meant by "too much noise" was that he was getting so much interference from the left HA that he was not able to benefit from the right HA. Took the left off, and he was able to use the right to much better benefit.
 
I just remembered. I wore two hearing aids (body type) when I was little. Later on, they decided on just one. I remembered they decided on my right ear for few years. That ear is my worst one. Yeah I am more sensitive to sounds in that ear but comprehension of words is much worse. They decided to switched to my left ear. Finally I can understand people better as the school was oral at that time. Yikes!

Now I use both hearing aids. The left one for picking up words (along with lipreading) and the other one just to let me know I am hearing something to my right. It also helps me with where the sounds are coming from.
 
Buffalo said:
I just remembered. I wore two hearing aids (body type) when I was little. Later on, they decided on just one. I remembered they decided on my right ear for few years. That ear is my worst one. Yeah I am more sensitive to sounds in that ear but comprehension of words is much worse. They decided to switched to my left ear. Finally I can understand people better as the school was oral at that time. Yikes!

Now I use both hearing aids. The left one for picking up words (along with lipreading) and the other one just to let me know I am hearing something to my right. It also helps me with where the sounds are coming from.
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That's interesting that you eventually went back to 2. I'm going to mention this to P.J. He may want to try 2 again.
 
jillio said:
That's interesting that you eventually went back to 2. I'm going to mention this to P.J. He may want to try 2 again.
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If it is too loud, it makes things shake visionally. I keep both volumes just under that.
 
Buffalo said:
If it is too loud, it makes things shake visionally. I keep both volumes just under that.
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Yeah I dont mind going back to two HAs. It gives me some choices that depends on my mood. Like I dont have to wear both everyday. I havent tried that. Like you said, turn volumns down a little bit that i think it might helps for me that i didnt think of before. Right now I wear one. I ll wait till i can afford to buy both new HAs.
 
I grew up with hearing aids and understood the world just fine with them... HATED them though. I mean straight up hated them. Growing up I figured out how to balance the worlds.. (The child and adult worlds AND the deaf and hearing worlds..) and how to beat the system. I broke my equipment on the insdie so it seemed fine so I just "wore it for the looks" and to "appease the big people"... Your little one looks to be going down that way.

ASL all the way, baby.
 
I grew up with hearing aids and often hated them. It took me a long time to figure out it was because I wore them for the benefit of others, because I felt I needed to hear them. Today I do not need to hear anyone to feel happy inside, and most of the time I do not wear hearing aids. Today I had an interview and did fine without them.
 
When I was lil the first time I worn ha's, I never got cried. It didn't hurt my ears at all. The only I got accident hit by the ball, I had a hard earmold that caused my ear pain. I think smthg's wrong inside his ear. Maybe, that's why he wants to take it off.
 
What everyone else said. In addition to checking your son's sound levels and recruitment (which would probably affect the compression setting in his hearing aids), perhaps you could discuss the size of the air vent holes in his ear molds.

I haven't seen the thread where you posted his audiograms so I don't know what kind of loss he has but the largest air vent holes that he can have without creating feedback can go a long ways toward making him feel more comfortable.

Also, you may want to consider giving another audiologist a try. I think fitting hearing aids is also about talent and not just academic credentials. Some people are just much better at it. I think that would probably come more into play with a child because he will have less experience with hearing aid fittings than an adult that has worn hearing aids for years and he may not be able to fully communicate what's going on at his end that well yet.

And FWIW, my hearing aids are not painful and I think they are programmed OK (they aren't the best quality but that is another story) but I still don't like to wear them all the time. Its just feels nice not to have my ears stuffed up all the time and, IMHO, the technology still isn't at the point where amplified and filtered sound is as comfortable as natural sound. It's good to have a break! :)

I hope the appt. with the ENT and audi went well.


PS Back to making hearing aids more comfortable, cleaning the ear molds carefully every night or better yet using an electric dryer that automatically drys and cleans them with a UV light helps a lot too. I was lucky enough to win a Dry & Store dryer in a raffle and even though I was carefully cleaning my aids before -- they became a lot more comfortable after I started using the dryer.

After I switched to the Dry & Store and changed to ear molds with a small pressure hole vent from ear molds with no vents I stopped getting ear infections.
 
I like silcone mold the best. It is expensive than the regular mold. I dont know what kind of molds do your boy have. that would be convenient to go back to audologist and adjust the volume of the sound and check the molds.
 
jillio said:
Not at the age of 6, DD. And the pattern of refusal doesn't suggest that this is an issue with being self conscious. The kid is having a problem. Listen to him.
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Oh, and not in kindergarten either too.... But yeah, maybe it's time to look into more Deaf Ed, as well as checking hearing aids etc.....Is there any way you could go to a pediatric audi, like the ones at Phoinix Day School for the Deaf or the Arizona State Schools for the Deaf and Blind.
 
Just a quick update from appointment. Just a little wax in right ear, so that was removed. Both tubes in and no fluid in either ear. So that was all good news.

Ran out of time to do any testing with the audi, but did have a few minutes to talk with her. She took the right aid and is sending it back to Oticon for them to check and make sure it's mechanically ok. I'll schedule a solid appointment with her soon.

So, he's off the hook for having to wear both for a while.

The earmolds are about 2 months old and fit well. I know how quickly they can outgrow them! As a baby, about the time a new pair came in, he'd already outgrown them.

I tried to ask him questions yesterday, but after an hour of waiting at the office, he wasn't in a sharing mood. It sounds like no one is saying anything negative about the HAs to him, no one is telling him "never mind," and no one is telling him he needs to listen better.

He has seen the audis at ASDB and wasn't particularly cooperative with them. Same with the previous district audi. He will really only cooperate with his current audi. I don't feel that anything's lacking on her end. I do have a list of things to go over with her for the next appointment and she's very good at explaining and is responsive to requests.

I have a message in for the TOD and hopefully we can catch up and talk.
 
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