Advice please: son doesn't want to wear HAs

rivenoak

New Member
Premium Member
DS is almost 6, hoh, and has just started Kindergarten.

It seems like every year we go through this: he refuses to wear his hearing aids. And now, he refuses to even consider putting the boots on to try the new FM system.

Right now, he will consent to wear the left HA all day. He might wear the right one for part of the day, but by the time school is over, it's out.

When he has an ear infection, he of course doesn't have to wear both. When it's really humid and he says his ear itches, he doesn't have to wear both.

We are extremely lenient about not wearing them in the evening on weekends at home.

But his favorite thing right now is to say he won't wear them, or one, is that "they're beeping so I can't wear them." Even when we know a fresh battery is in and shouldn't beep.

So, for kicks, I hung them outside my ears one afternoon for a few minutes & never heard this "beeping." I told him this the next time he offered that as his reason, and he looked sheepish like I'd caught him out.

He tests everyone and everything. It's in his nature as well as being a child. And, this is one thing in his life over which he can exert control. I know he respects his TOD, but he only sees her once a week. I wonder if some of this is trying to have control over his new K teacher.

We've never used punishment if he didn't wear the HAs, but I have been known to bribe him to keep them in all day.

I just don't know what to do at this point.

Part of me thinks, "Well, we're the adults. We say he has to wear them." But, it's not like we can staple them to his head. :eek3: Just kidding, for sure!

Part of me thinks, "Well, he's the one who has to wear them. If he doesn't want to, so what."

We have an appointment with the ENT and the audi today to make sure all is healthy w/ ears and HAs are functioning. We will also talk again about sound levels and recruitment.

Advice, stories, hints, kicks in the pants? :ty:
 

DeafCaroline

New Member
Honestly, don't push it. I grew up preferring to wear one hearing aid only because I kept getting blisters or pain from the ear mold for my left ear - my left ear just doesn't seem to like any ear molds at all, can't figure out quite why.

If you keep forcing him to wear the hearing aids, then you are subconsciously telling him deafness is not a good thing and it will affect his psyche. I'd rather you let him be and leave it up to him to decide if he wants to wear hearing aids or not. It could be he's happier being deaf than dealing with hearing aids that only amplify what he's not able to make much sense of anyway.

It really makes me feel very sorry for the kid when hearing parents come here and say they are forcing their kids to deal with HAs or CIs despite the kid ripping them off and/or crying from discomfort and/or pain.
 

faire_jour

New Member
Wirelessly posted

i was going to ask if you are sure that they are fully working and if his loss hasn't changed. If he receives benefit from them, he would probably want to wear them. What is his loss? Does he hear well with and without them?
 

ladysolitary85

New Member
My advice is to have lots and lots of patience with him. Hes still young as kids will be picky. If he doesn't want to wear the aids, give it a break, and ask him again later. Ask him why he doesn't want to wear them. Always encourage him.

Also, I highly recommend teaching him ASL (American Sign). He will be thankful later on trust me.
 

Frisky Feline

Well-Known Member
Wirelessly posted

i was going to ask if you are sure that they are fully working and if his loss hasn't changed. If he receives benefit from them, he would probably want to wear them. What is his loss? Does he hear well with and without them?

tsk tsk nosey as always.
 

rivenoak

New Member
Premium Member
Honestly, don't push it...It really makes me feel very sorry for the kid when hearing parents come here and say they are forcing their kids to deal with HAs or CIs despite the kid ripping them off and/or crying from discomfort and/or pain.

I hope you don't think we are forcing him through pain. If anything, we are very lax, I hope. I don't want to be one of "those" parents. :(

Ok, I will admit, one time I physically restrained his hands so he couldn't pull them out at the audi's for one test. He has been very uncooperative about testing and we just needed this one last one for the school district. I'm ashamed of it. :cry:

He has a mixed loss.

He sometimes hears "well" without them. In some situations, a person might not know he is HOH. In many other situations, it is more evident that he is not Hearing.

I think I posted his audiogram on another thread; I don't have it at hand. As of late Spring 2011, when we finally got the range of tests done in one fell swoop, there was no decrease in hearing. Possibly a slight increase due to new tubes having been put in.

He has less loss on the right; this is the side he doesn't like to wear. However, if he's not wearing the left one due to an infection, he will wear the right one.

And eventually, if we wait him out long enough--over weeks--he will usually agree to wear both for the school day.

I don't want to be defensive and don't mean to be. I don't post much, so you don't have much background. I will try to fill in if necessary. I don't always know the right terminology, either, so I will try to learn that, too.

If he only wants to wear one, I'm ok with that. We can change the IEP if the school has a problem with it being his choice.

I wish he would try the FM to see if it helps him hear his teacher. Last year in preschool, one of his classmates had more of a broadcast FM system, but my son has the direct teacher to boot kind. We won't know if he can benefit from it unless he'll wear a boot.

His first language was ASL. He speaks English now. But, from other things I'm noticing, we need to revisit the use of ASL.

:ty:
 
Last edited:

bbaseballboy123

New Member
Do not force him into wearing the shitty FM system. Its a battery drainer, its just ugh. Who wants to listen to the teacher directly all day?

I have two implants but mainly wear one cause its just "too much sound" for me when i wear both of them.

By end of the school day, I usually take off my implant for a hour or so cause i went 7 hours of intense listening to teachers, and peers.

And like others, (im learning now), start using ASL again :)
 

DeafCaroline

New Member
I hope you don't think we are forcing him through pain. If anything, we are very lax, I hope. I don't want to be one of "those" parents. :(

Ok, I will admit, one time I physically restrained his hands so he couldn't pull them out at the audi's for one test. He has been very uncooperative about testing and we just needed this one last one for the school district. I'm ashamed of it.

I don't want to be defensive and don't mean to be. I don't post much, so you don't have much background. I will try to fill in if necessary. I don't always know the right terminology, either, so I will try to learn that, too.

If he only wants to wear one, I'm ok with that. We can change the IEP.

I wish he would try the FM to see if it helps him hear his teacher. Last year in preschool, one of his classmates had more of a broadcast FM system, but my son has the direct teacher to boot kind. We won't know if he can benefit from it unless he'll wear a boot.

His first language was ASL. He speaks English now. But, from other things I'm noticing, we need to revisit the use of ASL.

dont just revisit - ALWAYS use it. I grew up oral, never learning ASL and it was really difficult for me emotionally never to be able to follow what was being said at the dinner table. My thoughts were "if my own family can't even include me, how can I ever expect anyone else to?" It really messed me up and made me very angry with my family for a long time.

There could be all kinds of reasons why your son won't wear the hearing aids - communicate with him and ask him why. Don't just try to make him wear them, try to understand why he doesn't want to. Observe in what situations he was most rebellious.

I do remember in kindergarten and in grade 1, i tried to get away with pretending I could hear so I didn't have to wear hearing aids that made all the other kids stare and point at me and whisper about me behind their hands. It was horrible dealing with that and it made me not want to wear my hearing aids at all. I was keenly conscious from the first day I started wearing hearing aids (when I was nearly four) of people staring at me and always hated it, to the point where I would hide behind my mother's legs in hopes that no one would see the hearing aid on my chest or wear sweaters or jackets as much as possible over my hearing aid.

Keep in mind that while professionals may tell you to force him, that they are not deaf and may not understand that there could be psychological reasons as to why the kid didn't want to wearing HAs.
 

faire_jour

New Member
Wirelessly posted

it is always tough to make these kinds of decisions, so hugs to you! Like i said, i would check out the devices themselves first, make sure there is no reason they wouldn't be working for him. Then i would talk to him about it. Are other kids saying things to him about his aids? Why does he not want to wear them? It is possible that his hearing has changed, so they are set too low, or too high. It is possible that his speech understanding has decreased, so that all he hears is noise. Or it is possible that it is really tiring for him to listen all day.
 

Buffalo

Active Member
I have noticed that my earmolds are very itchy after my move to Arizona. I often went without HAs whenever I am at home. I go to the town once a week so it is not a problem. I am thinking about getting new earmolds that doesn't have latex. Maybe it will work .... or not. I am not so hot about the price as I won't be surprised if it costs more than the last time I bought them. I need new ones anyway and it is long overdue.
 

AJWSmith

New Member
Hello rivenoak. I wore HAs as a child and found them useful. But they weren't the solution to all my problems. My retrospective wish was that my parents also used sign language. So I was pleased to read that you use ASL and would encourage you to continue to use it.
 

rivenoak

New Member
Premium Member
This is one of those situations where I think we've missed the boat by not keeping up with ASL. We're all at the level of a toddler, really. That's when he started talking and we signed less (3.5 years or so).

I wonder if he just doesn't have the expressive language to explain why he doesn't want to wear the HAs.

As far as I can tell, kids haven't ever said anything to him because he wears the HAs. I've gotten questions about why and they seem to easily accept a brief explanation. But, he is in a brand new school, with only one kid in the classroom he knows from preK, and of course is a solitaire.

Thank you all for your perspectives. It really helps. A lot.
 

DeafCaroline

New Member
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention - young kids learning to hear with hearing aids are susceptible to migraines. It could be that his HAs are giving him bad headaches especially at the end of the day. I had severe migraines for several years in elementary school, usually occuring by the end of the school day. It's truly exhausting working so hard all day long to figure out what people are saying and what all those noises are and where they were coming from and trying to follow what's going on in any situation or environment. Silence is often a welcomed and blessed relief from HAs.
 

Frisky Feline

Well-Known Member
I grew up wearing two hearing aids until I got older. I didn't realize or didnt pay attention as to why I often get my mind tiring. I realize that two hearing aids that is too much for me. then I decide to wear one hearing aid. Like everyone says. But it's ok for anyone who likes to wear two hearing aids, some one hearing aid.
 

whatdidyousay!

Well-Known Member
have you had the ear molds checked out , they could be too small and the would cause them to feed back. Is he being picked on for wearing HA, that would made a child feel uncomfortable being made to feel 'difference.'
 

coolgirlspyer90

Active Member
One of my closest best deaf friends wore a hearing aid when we were young kids. He didn't like the HA's so he stopped wearing them and he's been perfectly fine without it. I would also recommend using ASL. If he perfers to be deaf, let him be that way :) I remember just taking my hearing aid out for at least a half hour or so because of all the loud overwelming noises and then would wear them back in.

I have 2 CI's now, so i pretty much wear them everyday- all day long, but after taking a shower, i don't put them back on for the rest of the night.
 
Top