A minor problem

JClarke

JClarke

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I am not sure if this is in the appropriate section but please move it if it is not.

The problem is about my divorce that I am facing later this year; lately I have been staying away from the deaf community I have been strongly participated for the past 20+ years. The deaf community here is small, not quite big as you can imagine in the U.S.

Knowing that my ex wife participate and share the same friends as mine, but lately they have not been around with me (not to mention the ex wife) they have been treating me like I am invisible but I have done nothing wrong. I have been making effort to make friends with the ex wife for the sake of the deaf community but unfortunately, it has been a struggle for me, let it being civil with her. Unfortunately, I know it is a business of mine but I am seeking out there for some advice. What I should do? I am avoiding this because it is not working for me. :aw:
 
Move to the USA...you have many friends here! :)
 
I guess this is your second divorce as you said have an ex wife and will be getting divorce later this year. You should not let anyone made you feel uncomfortable using this forum and you can always block anyone comments you do not wish to see. I see no reason to be friend with your ex wife unless you really want to be. And try not to let those people that treat you like you're invisible get to you. They are doing you a great favor , you don't have to waste time with phony people pretending to be your friends.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
I guess this is your second divorce as you said have an ex wife and will be getting divorce later this year. You should not let anyone made you feel uncomfortable using this forum and you can always block anyone comments you do not wish to see. I see no reason to be friend with your ex wife unless you really want to be. And try not to let those people that treat you like you're invisible get to you. They are doing you a great favor , you don't have to waste time with phony people pretending to be your friends.
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My first divorce and only
 
JClarke said:
My first divorce and only
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I guess you can't wait to get divorce as you're already calling your wife
your 'ex wife'. You said your divorce is coming later this year and talked about having an ex wife already. Getting divorce is tough , do you have any of your friends to hang out with ?
 
whatdidyousay! said:
I guess you can't wait to get divorce as you're already calling your wife
your 'ex wife'. You said your divorce is coming later this year and talked about having an ex wife already. Getting divorce is tough , do you have any of your friends to hang out with ?
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I call it ex wife, she calls me the ex husband, I'm fine with it. We are currently separated at the moment. As with friends, please refer to my OP
 
True friends don't "pick sides"...and guessing it's pretty common when a couple are getting a divorce, and they have the same friends....No clue as to a remedy here...all I can say is not to talk to any friends about your Ex...*getting any info, etc.*....that puts them on the spot....especially if they like both of you....they don't want to get in the middle. Good idea to look around and make some "new friends"....and after the air has cleared (divorce)...maybe things will get back somewhat to "normal"....good luck!
 
JClarke said:
I call it ex wife, she calls me the ex husband, I'm fine with it. We are currently separated at the moment. As with friends, please refer to my OP
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I saw that but I was wondering if you had any friends you had before you met your ex wife you could talk to.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
OH! You mean everyone is taking your ex wife side ? Do you have a hobbies you like to do that will help you meet new people?
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it is likely but I doubt it but they have not been talkactive to me or inviting me to events like they used to before. Yes, I do, geocaching in fact...and travelling interstate as much as I can.
 
Maybe they just feel awkward right now. Divorce impacts friends, too. I hope with time your friendly relationships will warm up again.
 
I agree with RR... True friends should not pick sides. True friends and real people out there should realize sometimes things just don't work out between people romantically. :( Sometimes, it just takes time for things like this to blow over. :( I hope that things all work out for the best. I suppose the best thing you can do is to try to go out and slowly work your way out there. Don't show them that it bothers you or gets to you, otherwise you let them win. Don't let them or her have any sort of victory over you... they don't deserve it. :hug:
 
If I was in your shoes, I would have to find a way to move. I know some people are divorced and still live in the same town because of kids. You do not have any children with her, so you or she can always move to another city. If you can not afford to move, you will make new friends eventually, it takes a while. One at a time. :D
 
JClarke said:
I am not sure if this is in the appropriate section but please move it if it is not.

The problem is about my divorce that I am facing later this year; lately I have been staying away from the deaf community I have been strongly participated for the past 20+ years. The deaf community here is small, not quite big as you can imagine in the U.S.

Knowing that my ex wife participate and share the same friends as mine, but lately they have not been around with me (not to mention the ex wife) they have been treating me like I am invisible but I have done nothing wrong. I have been making effort to make friends with the ex wife for the sake of the deaf community but unfortunately, it has been a struggle for me, let it being civil with her. Unfortunately, I know it is a business of mine but I am seeking out there for some advice. What I should do? I am avoiding this because it is not working for me. :aw:
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there you go. they have not been around with you because you have been staying away from them lol

you should continue to stay proactive and civil. perseverance is the way.
 
Mewtilation said:
I agree with RR... True friends should not pick sides. True friends and real people out there should realize sometimes things just don't work out between people romantically. :( Sometimes, it just takes time for things like this to blow over. :( I hope that things all work out for the best. I suppose the best thing you can do is to try to go out and slowly work your way out there. Don't show them that it bothers you or gets to you, otherwise you let them win. Don't let them or her have any sort of victory over you... they don't deserve it. :hug:
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I dont show them that it bothers me, because really it is them they need to realize, I am still around - I am not letting anyone take the victory - they are facing my 'Do I look like I give a shit' face.

authentic said:
If I was in your shoes, I would have to find a way to move. I know some people are divorced and still live in the same town because of kids. You do not have any children with her, so you or she can always move to another city. If you can not afford to move, you will make new friends eventually, it takes a while. One at a time. :D
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I have been thinking about that for so long but 4 things that stops me is that I have a good stable job here, I have university studies here, and I have family here as well that I live closely. I wish the opposite would just move back, but she is with someone else who lives in the same hometown. :aw:

Jiro said:
there you go. they have not been around with you because you have been staying away from them lol

you should continue to stay proactive and civil. perseverance is the way.
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That's what I am doing, I am just staying back because they are not showing their true friendship towards me. :|
 
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