A Deafie's Pet Peeve About Living Among The Hearies

GrizzleBear

New Member
Somewhere between "you don't look deaf," "you're not deaf enough," and "nevermind." Also people who complain when I sit in the second row seat of movie theaters. It's easier for me to hear the closer I am to the screen, but I have to balance that with how distorted the screen gets when you're close. So, second row it is.

Oh! Also "how much can you hear," because that's a complicated question that I don't really want to get into.
 

Tetracyclone

Active Member
Interesting reactions to "deafie" and "hearie". As a new member these terms are new to me.

In comparison, on the Spinal Cord Injury forums I use many of us commonly and happily refer to ourselves as gimps, and all yo others, deaf or not, are ABs for able-bodied. People need names for things. I guess it is natural.
 

DOD

Active Member
Even as a hearing person I have peeves about hearing people. They would ask if my 18 month old deaf son could read lips. Are you kidding me??
 

BLONDI53

Active Member
Even as a hearing person I have peeves about hearing people. They would ask if my 18 month old deaf son could read lips. Are you kidding me??
Wow, some people are really,or act really stupid huh? Dont blame you for that one at all
 

Beowulf

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
Even as a hearing person I have peeves about hearing people. They would ask if my 18 month old deaf son could read lips. Are you kidding me??
:lol:
You sound like a decent Dad.
I remember when I was about eight years old, we stopped at a way-out gas station for a break on the long drive. I was just looking around until I became aware an old greasy mechanic was talking to me. I just stared at him. Then he said something along the lines of "You can't talk, ainah? You a dummy? Reckon you must be dummy, ainnah?" My sisters, who were younger and with me, almost swooned. I had the presence of mind to flaunt my upbringing and propriety and reply, "Yes, sir, I can talk quite well, thank you. Nice place you have here." He was begrudgingly impressed, and we were on our way. It was only then that my sisters told my father about it. Smart. We knew if he heard it, he woulda stomped him. ;)
 

DOD

Active Member
:lol:
You sound like a decent Dad.
...... ;)
Thanks!! I try. There is so much ignorance among hearing people about deafness. I also hate when they say "I'm sorry". Then there is flat out stupidity when after they find out he is deaf they start talking loud or yelling as if he can suddenly hear because they are louder. :(
 

HoH_Profound

New Member
My pet peeve is the lack of awareness and inclusion hearing people intentionally or unknowingly show to people who are hard of hearing or who are deaf.

I get and accept that life will hold its own challenges being in this position though it doesn't take a lot more effort or time to include a deaf or HoH person into a conversation either.
 

Ambuhhlurr

Member
But you don't look deaf!?!?!?!
That right there is my biggest pet peeve.

Obviously you weren't being serious about that, but that is a serious question I get when people find out that I do have a level of deafness (hard of hearing but also with a disconnect so not only is my hearing bad but the little I do hear my brain does not process it well making it where if I do by chance hear a sound I can't decipher where it is and what it is.)

The other most annyoing things that I've gotten are:

"You look so normal though!"

"But you can speak semi good and people with bad hearing problems either make incoherent sounds or don't speak at all" < this one makes me so mad because that's not really true. Deaf and HoH do NOT have to speak. It's not that they can't, it's that some are comfortable and content with signing. Also speaking when you can't even hear yourself is hard and does take hard work, and is not impossible but it's a choice not a requirement. I grew up in a strictly hearing community so I have been verbally life but even then I was put into speech therapy as a toddler and it took 8+ years for me to graduate from speech therapy even then my speech is not and has never been perfect. So if I "talk kinda well for being HoH" That's because I didn't grow up in the deaf community and so I didn't end of learning sign until January of this year and I spent a huge portion.o.

Last but not least, "Why do you guys seem content with not hearing? Isn't it better to hear than not to hear" -_-
 

Lysander

Well-Known Member
This one may be silly but, I take offense when they look away/turns their back on me when I am talking. I take that act as they if are not interested in what I have to say, even tho they can hear with their face turned. I just stop talking til they resume looking at me. I guess that comes from me being a lip-reader and I know for a fact you cannot read lips looking away!

Anyone else do what I do?
No no. It's not silly. It's totally rude in hearing culture too. In hearing culture the person talking is allowed to look away, but the person listening is supposed to keep paying attention. Looking away while listening indicates that you don't care what the other person has to say.
 

Brookie

Member
One of my pet peeves is when people say "Are you really hearing impaired? You speak so well for someone who has hearing loss". If I had a dollar for every time someone has said that to me, I would be well off. Another pet peeve is when all people see is my disability and they can not get past it. Example: I am HOH and currently studying speech pathology at university. I have had many people say to me over my years of study, "Why are you doing this course? Shouldn't you have chosen something easier?".

What are other peoples experience with tertiary studies?
 

BLONDI53

Active Member
No no. It's not silly. It's totally rude in hearing culture too. In hearing culture the person talking is allowed to look away, but the person listening is supposed to keep paying attention. Looking away while listening indicates that you don't care what the other person has to say.
Yeah you know i do realize this with me also i just figured i felt this way because we have to see a persons face when we are talking, its not the same with the hearing,they can look around or keep doing what there doing and they can still hear and understand you and we are like trying to follow them around or whatever,it really is difficult. Im not sure if they dont realize what they are doing ir dont understand,or are they being rude?
 

BLONDI53

Active Member
This isn't a pet peeve, but a hearie phrase that sometimes backfires on 'em:

I was in line to checkout at a grocery store. Unknown to me, a clerk several registers away was calling to me to come to her empty register. I'm usually more alert, but this time I was lost going over my grocery list.

Obviously frustrated, the clerk who wanted me to change lines tapped me on the shoulder. When I turned to look at her, her eyes were rolling, and she asked, "Are you deaf?"

She was being sarcastic, but when I said, "Yes, I am" and signed Yes-deaf-me. She got the funniest look on her face and turned bright red.

She must have been very loud 'cause the manager came and apologized to me.
Oh boy,yes, yes,and im the one that gets soo embarrassed to see everybody staring at me,i hate,hate that.
 

BLONDI53

Active Member
This isn't a pet peeve, but a hearie phrase that sometimes backfires on 'em:

I was in line to checkout at a grocery store. Unknown to me, a clerk several registers away was calling to me to come to her empty register. I'm usually more alert, but this time I was lost going over my grocery list.

Obviously frustrated, the clerk who wanted me to change lines tapped me on the shoulder. When I turned to look at her, her eyes were rolling, and she asked, "Are you deaf?"

She was being sarcastic, but when I said, "Yes, I am" and signed Yes-deaf-me. She got the funniest look on her face and turned bright red.

She must have been very loud 'cause the manager came and apologized to me.
Oh boy,yes, yes,and im the one that gets soo embarrassed to see everybody staring at me,i hate,hate that.
Yep, I do the same. It is very frustrating to have someone turn away. I also worry that if I keep talking when to their back they will forget that I can't hear and will respond without turning around. It one reason I talk less and less when away from home.
Yes, i feel the same way,they just dont think about what they are doing,yeah your right about the answering with there back turned,that has happened a lot to me, i will bring up my question ir whatever again,qnd they say i answered you a while ago,didnt you hear me?......uuhh no must have been when you turned your back to me,really upsets me
 

Beowulf

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
Yesterday I attended a church via a family's invitation. The people in the pews around me practically fought each other to have the honor of showing me the passages in the Bible being discussed. It is really not a peeve, if you know what I mean.
 
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